Woot! Seven reviews! That's the most I've ever gotten off one chapter. Thanks to FireFairyGirl, Kamela, Ironmaiden, Starsaber, and Dragon Empress for reviewing. Also, a special thanks to Hitokiri Battousai for the HTML tips, but I'm too lazy to put them in this chappie. ^^ Anyway, onto chapter two!

**This is NOT a crossover.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, Jackass, or MTV. I do, however, own this Goku action figure. With super kicking action! ::uses action figure Goku to super-kicking-action-kick evil lawyers away::

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WARNING: The following fic features stunts performed by extremely stupid (as well as extremely tough) Dragonball Z characters. Accordingly, fanfiction.net and the producer must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any stunt or activity performed in this fic.

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DBZ Jackass :: Chapter Two

Goku dragged Vegeta down the sidewalk, babbling about the wondrous Johnny Knoxville, Bam Magera, and all the other people on Jackass.

"But let me tell you, this Johnny Knoxville was the best. He would do anything! I want to be just like him. He's so cool! And." Goku ranted on.

Vegeta yanked his arm free of Goku's clutch. "Where are we going anyway that you have to drag me there?"

"Actually, you know what, I don't even know. I guess I was just talking so much I didn't really notice where we were going. I guess we're going to do more stunts. Yeah. That would be awesome. Maybe we c-" Goku stopped in mid- sentence and in walking.

"What is it, Kakarott," Vegeta said, annoyed.

Goku merely pointed at a hobo sitting next to a grocery cart on a sidewalk across the street. "So. it's a pathetic bum. What the hell is so special about that??" Vegeta spat. But before Vegeta could even finish his sentence, Goku had rushed across the street. The hobo looked up at the grinning, spiky-haired man standing in front of him.

"Can I borrow this??" Goku asked excitedly to the sad-looking vagrant.

"Well." the hobo began slowly. "Okay! Thanks!" Goku interjected as he grabbed the shopping cart, dumped out its contents (which included mainly empty beer cans and a few rats), and skipped back across the street to Vegeta.

"Look, Vegeta, LOOK!" Goku said, shoving the shopping cart into Vegeta face.

"I can see it, Kakarott! Now get it out of my face!" Vegeta said angrily, pushing the shopping cart and Goku aside. "Why do you need that, though? It's a grocery cart, for Kami's sake."

"Sure it's just a shopping cart, but think of the great stunts we could do! Races! Extreme shopping! Running people over!!" Goku said excitedly. "But most especially, races. We could race this thing down the street so fast! And then crash it into stuff! C'mon, Vegeta! It would be a different competition between us, instead of just power and stuff. Would you race me? We could find another shopping cart!"

"No thanks, Kakarott. You can go ahead and be an idiot by yourself." Vegeta said as he began to walk in the opposite direction.

"Aww, come on Vegeta! It would be so fun!" Goku said, following him.

"No. I'm not going to make a fool of myself for the sake of you trying to be like those pathetic jackass humans!" Vegeta voiced.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease Veggie??" Goku pleaded.

"No. And don't EVER call me Veggie. EVER."

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASE??????"

"No."

"Please???"

"No."

"Please???"

"No."

"Please???"

"No."

"Please???"

"No."

Goku stopped. "Okay, fine. I guess you're just afraid that you'll lose."

Vegeta turned around and faced Goku. "What was that?"

"Yeah, you heard me. You're afraid you lose. Lose to a weak, "low-class" Saiyan like me, aren't you?"

Vegeta walked toward Goku. "What?! Me, the prince of ALL saiyajins, lose to a pathetic baka like you? No. Never."

"Then race me. Race me, or be forever a chicken."

A vein bulged in Vegeta's temple. "No, just not racing."

"Chickennnnnn," Goku teased, imitating a chicken. "Moo! Moooo! Mooo! Chicken!"

"What??"

"MOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Chickens don't moo, baka."

"Well you would know, wouldn't you.. CHICKEN?!?!" Goku continued mooing and flapping his arms.

"Shut up Kakarott!"

"MOOO! MOOOOOO! MOOOOOO! CHICKEN!" Goku continued to flap his arms like a chicken. "Looks like poor widdle Veggie is afraid to lose to Goku in a test of shopping cart skills!"

"Kakarott.." Vegeta growled.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"OKAY FINE! JUST SHUT UP WITH THAT INCESSANT MOOING!"

Goku stopped acting like a chicken, and threw his arms up in the air. "YAY!"

"Baka," Vegeta muttered. "But understand, your ass will be kicked. Nobody defeats the saiyajin prince at ANYTHING. Pah."

"Whatever you say," Goku laughed. "Now, to find you a shopping cart."

* * * About ten minutes later, with no success in finding another shopping cart laden hobo, Goku decided it would just be easier to "borrow" a shopping cart from a nearby grocery store. After taking the shopping cart, the saiyans set off in search of a steep road worthy of racing on.

The two took off into the air, with several stares from pedestrians. I guess it's not really a normal thing to see two full-grown men flying through the air holding shopping carts.

They flew a couple of miles, and finally found a road at a steep incline. Perfect for racing in shopping carts. I guess.

"Okay, we'll go from the top of this hill to the end of the street," Goku said, pointing down to the end of the road, a little more than a mile away. "First one there, wins. No rules besides that, except you have to stay on the road. No flying."

"Fine," Vegeta said, landing and placing his shopping cart at the top of the hill. Goku stood next to his shopping cart, and patted the handle bar. "Okay, Hobo 3000, we're gonna win!"

"Hobo 3000. what?" Vegeta spat, turning to his opponent. "And why are you talking to your shopping cart?"

"That's its name! The Hobo 3000!" Goku said cheerfully. (A/N: I had a shopping cart named The Hobo 3000 once, but I didn't find it the same way Goku did. ^^) "And I have to talk to it. It's good luck, I guess. Doesn't your shopping cart have a name??"

"Of course not, baka! It's a shopping cart!" Vegeta said pissedly. (A/N: Pissedly is my word. I made it up. It means 'to say in a pissed manner.')

"But you have to name it Veggi- er, Vegeta. It'll make it more fun!" Goku whined.

"Fine." Vegeta muttered. "It'll be called the Gonnakickkakarotsassatthisbakathing. Happy?"

"That's an odd name. Kinda long, so I guess you could call it the 'gonnakickkak' for short." Goku pulled a pair of goggles out of his pocket and stuck them on his head, and stood behind the 'Hobo 3000', hands on the handle bar. Vegeta stood behind his cart as well, and also pulled a pair of goggles out of his non-existent pocket, and shoved them over his head.

"Ready?" Goku asked.

"Sure," Vegeta said unenthusiastically.

"Okay! Ready. GO!!!"

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Woot! Cliffy. kinda. Somewhat of an uneventful chapter, yeah, but don't worry, the next chapter will be a WHOLE lot better. Goku vs. Vegeta, The Hobo 3000 vs. Gonnakickkakarotsassatthisbakathing. Yay!

I'm going on vacation in about two weeks, and I'll post another chapter before then. I should have access to a computer while I'm gone though, so I'll possibly post another chapter then too.

And, if you'd like to, you can REQUEST A STUNT! It could possibly appear in the fic after the next chapter or two! Try to describe it in kinda detail like what they did and what happened to the person performing the stunt. Note though, it's not guaranteed that your idea will appear, it depends if I can write it. ^_^; So just send in those suggestions with your reviews! Keyword, REVIEW!

.:: rice ::.