Jean and Scott walked up to Jamie, who was fast asleep in his director's
chair.
"Jamie, wake up!" she said, shaking him a bit.
"Hmm, is it dinner time yet?" Jamie asked, still half asleep. The hectic schedule from the previous night had exhausted him. His clones were curled up on the floor, napping, and just as tired as the original Jamie.
"Let's just leave him alone for a bit," said Scott. "Maybe this way, we can go back to Todd Fan's set and get Mutants in Tights wrapped up,"
"Good idea," said Jean, who honestly needed a break from filming this parody anyway.
At the words 'Todd Fan', however, Jamie immediately perked up. "I heard that!" he yelled, and jumped out of his chair and started waking up his sleepy clones.
"You, start working on the lighting for this next scene," he said to one clone. "You spin up the cameras, and you get me a triple espresso, extra sweet,"
"Where does he get all this energy from?" Scott wondered.
"Hey, has anybody seen Number 2?" Jamie asked. Number 2 was his smartest clone, who at the moment was nowhere to be found.
"Actually, I think I," Jean started to say. "Shh!" Scott quickly said, nudging her in the ribs. "We don't want to give that away yet!"
"Oh, right. Sorry," said Jean, remembering the deal that had just been made that would make their lives a whole lot better. "I mean, I haven't seen him since yesterday,"
"Oh, why can I never keep track of all my selves!" Jamie groaned as he started to set things up for the next scene. The Danger Room doors open and the actors, who were all much more well-rested than Jamie, started to trickle in for the day's shooting.
X
Evan wiped the sweat off of his forehead and took a sip of water from the well. It had been another typically hot day of driving railroad spikes, and he was as bored and tired as ever.
As he drank, a shadow fell over the well. He looked up and saw the most pleasant thing he had seen in days; Forge was sitting on a horse, smiling down at him, with Remy by his side.
"Forge!" cried Evan as Forge climbed down. Forge and Evan embraced tightly.
"You shifty mutie, they said you was hung!" Evan said.
"They was right!" Forge laughed.
"Hey, look at that star!" Evan said, pointing at the sheriff's star on Forge's shirt. "Woowee, civil service!"
He and Forge slapped hands again, and Evan leaned in to get a closer look at the star.
"Hey, back off, scamp!" Forge said with a grin. "You are addressin' the duly appointed sheriff of Bayville!"
"Bayville?" Forge asked. "Hey, the railroad's goin' through there,"
Before Forge could follow up on this tip, he heard several whoops of delight. He turned to see the rest of the mutant railroad workers running up to greet him.
The smiling workers mobbed Forge, and Evan had to hold them back to keep Forge from being trampled.
"Hey, back up off the brother!" Evan said. "Don't you mess up his fine threads!"
The reunion was interrupted by the sound of galloping horses. Forge looked up to see Lance, Toad, and the rest of the outlaws riding up fast.
"Well holy mother of pearl!" Lance said as he looked at Forge. "It's that mutie that went and hit me on the head with a shovel! Now what the hell do you think you're doin' wearing that tin star, boy?"
"Watch that boy shit, redneck," Forge shot back. "You are addressing the duly appointed sheriff of Bayville, not some blind beggar,"
Jamie was too tired to say anything about this latest reference to Todd Fan's parody.
"Well if that don't beat all," Lance said. "We take the good time and trouble to slaughter every last Indian in the west, and for what? So we can appoint a sheriff who's more of a mutie than any Indian! I am depressed,"
"Excuse me, Mr. Taggert," Toad said. "I sure do hate to see you this way. What if me and the boys were to shoot that mutie dead? Would that cheer you up?"
"That might help," said Lance.
Toad drew his gun. "Alright boys!" he said. "On the count of three,"
The other outlaws pulled out their guns and aimed them at Forge.
"Remy wouldn't do dat if he were you," Remy said.
"Don't pay any attention to that honkie," Toad said, dismissing Remy with a laugh. "He can't even hold a gun, much less shoot one. Now, one, two."
"Remy warned you," Remy said, and reached in his holster and pulled out a deck of cards. He charged several of them up and tossed them at the outlaws. The cards exploded and knocked all the outlaws' guns away.
The railroad workers started cheering and slapped Remy on the back as the outlaws held their hands in pain.
"Well don't just stand there lookin' stupid, graspin' your hands in pain," Forge said. "How about some applause for the N'Orleans Kid?"
The outlaws reluctantly applauded as the workers continue to celebrate.
X
Later, Pietro had Kitty tied up in his office. Kitty had agreed to fill in for Rogue, who was now undergoing speech therapy to cure her of her lisp.
Pietro paced around the room while Lance looked on.
"Alright, I'm through being Mr. Goodbar," Pietro said. "It's time to act and act quickly. All of my plans have backfired. Instead of the people leaving, they're staying in droves!"
"Why don't you admit it?" asked Kitty. "He's too much of a man for you, believe me, I know! You're gonna need an army to beat him! You're finished. Ferdick, ferfallen, ferlumpt, ferblundgen, ferkackt!"
Pietro smacked Kitty. "Shut up, you teutonic twat!" he said. "I must think!"
"Nobody calls me a twat! I'm outta here!" Kitty said, and phased through the ropes and left the set. Pietro ignored her, since she was done in the scene anyway.
"Wait a minute, she said army," he said. "That's it! An army of the worst dregs ever to soil the face of the west. Taggert!"
"Yes sir?"
"I've decided to launch an attack that will reduce Bayville to ashes,"
"What do you want me to do, sir?"
"I want you to round up every gunslinger and vicious criminal in the west," Pietro said. "Take this down,"
Lance started looking for a pencil as Pietro started naming off the people he wanted.
"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits,"
He took a deep breath and continued, growing more and more dramatic.
"Vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits," he said, and paused again to let the suspense grow a little. Lance continued to search through his clothes and his hat for a pencil, but to no avail.
"Muggers, buggerers, bushwackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bulldykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers, and mercenaries!" Pietro concluded, laughing maniacally and rubbing his hands together. "Oh yeah! That award's as good as mine!"
Lance tugged on his sleeve.
"What, what is it?" he asked.
"Could you repeat all that?" Lance asked, finally finding something to write with.
X
"Jamie, wake up!" she said, shaking him a bit.
"Hmm, is it dinner time yet?" Jamie asked, still half asleep. The hectic schedule from the previous night had exhausted him. His clones were curled up on the floor, napping, and just as tired as the original Jamie.
"Let's just leave him alone for a bit," said Scott. "Maybe this way, we can go back to Todd Fan's set and get Mutants in Tights wrapped up,"
"Good idea," said Jean, who honestly needed a break from filming this parody anyway.
At the words 'Todd Fan', however, Jamie immediately perked up. "I heard that!" he yelled, and jumped out of his chair and started waking up his sleepy clones.
"You, start working on the lighting for this next scene," he said to one clone. "You spin up the cameras, and you get me a triple espresso, extra sweet,"
"Where does he get all this energy from?" Scott wondered.
"Hey, has anybody seen Number 2?" Jamie asked. Number 2 was his smartest clone, who at the moment was nowhere to be found.
"Actually, I think I," Jean started to say. "Shh!" Scott quickly said, nudging her in the ribs. "We don't want to give that away yet!"
"Oh, right. Sorry," said Jean, remembering the deal that had just been made that would make their lives a whole lot better. "I mean, I haven't seen him since yesterday,"
"Oh, why can I never keep track of all my selves!" Jamie groaned as he started to set things up for the next scene. The Danger Room doors open and the actors, who were all much more well-rested than Jamie, started to trickle in for the day's shooting.
X
Evan wiped the sweat off of his forehead and took a sip of water from the well. It had been another typically hot day of driving railroad spikes, and he was as bored and tired as ever.
As he drank, a shadow fell over the well. He looked up and saw the most pleasant thing he had seen in days; Forge was sitting on a horse, smiling down at him, with Remy by his side.
"Forge!" cried Evan as Forge climbed down. Forge and Evan embraced tightly.
"You shifty mutie, they said you was hung!" Evan said.
"They was right!" Forge laughed.
"Hey, look at that star!" Evan said, pointing at the sheriff's star on Forge's shirt. "Woowee, civil service!"
He and Forge slapped hands again, and Evan leaned in to get a closer look at the star.
"Hey, back off, scamp!" Forge said with a grin. "You are addressin' the duly appointed sheriff of Bayville!"
"Bayville?" Forge asked. "Hey, the railroad's goin' through there,"
Before Forge could follow up on this tip, he heard several whoops of delight. He turned to see the rest of the mutant railroad workers running up to greet him.
The smiling workers mobbed Forge, and Evan had to hold them back to keep Forge from being trampled.
"Hey, back up off the brother!" Evan said. "Don't you mess up his fine threads!"
The reunion was interrupted by the sound of galloping horses. Forge looked up to see Lance, Toad, and the rest of the outlaws riding up fast.
"Well holy mother of pearl!" Lance said as he looked at Forge. "It's that mutie that went and hit me on the head with a shovel! Now what the hell do you think you're doin' wearing that tin star, boy?"
"Watch that boy shit, redneck," Forge shot back. "You are addressing the duly appointed sheriff of Bayville, not some blind beggar,"
Jamie was too tired to say anything about this latest reference to Todd Fan's parody.
"Well if that don't beat all," Lance said. "We take the good time and trouble to slaughter every last Indian in the west, and for what? So we can appoint a sheriff who's more of a mutie than any Indian! I am depressed,"
"Excuse me, Mr. Taggert," Toad said. "I sure do hate to see you this way. What if me and the boys were to shoot that mutie dead? Would that cheer you up?"
"That might help," said Lance.
Toad drew his gun. "Alright boys!" he said. "On the count of three,"
The other outlaws pulled out their guns and aimed them at Forge.
"Remy wouldn't do dat if he were you," Remy said.
"Don't pay any attention to that honkie," Toad said, dismissing Remy with a laugh. "He can't even hold a gun, much less shoot one. Now, one, two."
"Remy warned you," Remy said, and reached in his holster and pulled out a deck of cards. He charged several of them up and tossed them at the outlaws. The cards exploded and knocked all the outlaws' guns away.
The railroad workers started cheering and slapped Remy on the back as the outlaws held their hands in pain.
"Well don't just stand there lookin' stupid, graspin' your hands in pain," Forge said. "How about some applause for the N'Orleans Kid?"
The outlaws reluctantly applauded as the workers continue to celebrate.
X
Later, Pietro had Kitty tied up in his office. Kitty had agreed to fill in for Rogue, who was now undergoing speech therapy to cure her of her lisp.
Pietro paced around the room while Lance looked on.
"Alright, I'm through being Mr. Goodbar," Pietro said. "It's time to act and act quickly. All of my plans have backfired. Instead of the people leaving, they're staying in droves!"
"Why don't you admit it?" asked Kitty. "He's too much of a man for you, believe me, I know! You're gonna need an army to beat him! You're finished. Ferdick, ferfallen, ferlumpt, ferblundgen, ferkackt!"
Pietro smacked Kitty. "Shut up, you teutonic twat!" he said. "I must think!"
"Nobody calls me a twat! I'm outta here!" Kitty said, and phased through the ropes and left the set. Pietro ignored her, since she was done in the scene anyway.
"Wait a minute, she said army," he said. "That's it! An army of the worst dregs ever to soil the face of the west. Taggert!"
"Yes sir?"
"I've decided to launch an attack that will reduce Bayville to ashes,"
"What do you want me to do, sir?"
"I want you to round up every gunslinger and vicious criminal in the west," Pietro said. "Take this down,"
Lance started looking for a pencil as Pietro started naming off the people he wanted.
"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits,"
He took a deep breath and continued, growing more and more dramatic.
"Vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits," he said, and paused again to let the suspense grow a little. Lance continued to search through his clothes and his hat for a pencil, but to no avail.
"Muggers, buggerers, bushwackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bulldykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers, and mercenaries!" Pietro concluded, laughing maniacally and rubbing his hands together. "Oh yeah! That award's as good as mine!"
Lance tugged on his sleeve.
"What, what is it?" he asked.
"Could you repeat all that?" Lance asked, finally finding something to write with.
X
