By the time Forge and Remy returned to Bayville, they found all the townsfolk lined up, waiting to depart. They had their wagons packed with as many props as they could carry with them.

"Now just so everybody understands," Jamie said. "Those props are to be returned IMMEDIATELY after this scene is over. If I find out about Todd Fan getting her hands on any of this stuff, heads will roll!"

"Hey, where's everybody goin'?" asked Forge.

"Read this," said Jean Johnson, and held up a help wanted poster. It read, "Heartless villains sought for the destruction of Bayville. $20 per day, criminal record required. Apply to Pietro Lamar, an Equal Opportunity Employer,"

"Hey, can we apply for this job?" asked Ray and Sam. "$20 a day would be a lot better than what we're making here,"

"No!" said Jamie. "You're not fully qualified. At least I hope you're not,"

"Can't you see this is the last act of a desperate man?" Forge asked the townspeople.

"We don't care if it's the first act of Henry the Fifth!" said Scott Johnson. "We're leaving!"

"Now wait a minute!" Forge insisted. "Wait one gosh-darn minute here! Just give me 24 hours to come up with a plan to save our town. Just 24 hours, that's all I ask!"

"No!" the townsfolk shouted.

"You'd do it for Steve Rogers," Forge said.

The crowd gasped and reverently removed their hats as Forge invoked the name of the legendary hero.

Scott and Jean looked at each other and nodded. "Alright, sheriff," Scott said. "24 hours,"

X

Out in the desert, Pietro, Lance, and Toad sat behind a desk, taking application for their criminals wanted ad. Scores of people had answered the call, and Pietro was interviewing all of them to find the best of the worst. Among their ranks were Mastermind, Pyro, Colossus, Caliban, and Callisto.

"Qualifications?" Pietro asked as Duncan stepped forward.

"Rape, arson, murder, and rape," Duncan said.

"You said rape twice!" Pietro pointed out.

"I like rape," Duncan said, smiling.

"He'll do!" Lance laughed.

"Yes, quite charming. Sign right here," said Pietro, and handed him a badge.

"Next!" Lance called, and Caliban stepped forward. He was chewing on something in his mouth.

"Qualifications?"

"Arson, armed robbery, mail fraud," Caliban said.

"Wait a minute, what have you got in your mouth?" Pietro asked.

"Nothin!"

"Nothin, eh?"

Pietro nodded at Toad, who pried Caliban's mouth open and pulled out a wad of gum.

"Chewing gum on line?" Pietro asked. "I hope you brought enough for everybody!"

"I didn't know there was gonna be so many!" Caliban said meekly.

Pietro pulled out a small pistol and shot Caliban in the chest.

X

A little ways away, Remy and Forge were watching the line from behind a tall rock.

"Man, he's a strict one," Remy observed as Toad hauled Caliban's body away.

"We gotta get in closer and see what's happening," Forge said.

"Remy got an idea," Remy said, pointing at two figures wearing Friends of Humanity masks and sweaters standing at the back of the line. The sweaters had the words 'Have a nice, normal, mutant-free day,' written on them, along with a yellow smiley-face. "There's our ticket. Get out of sight for a sec,"

Remy stood up as Forge ducked behind the rock. "Hey boys!" he called to the two thugs. The thugs turned around.

"Look what Remy find!" Remy said, pulling Forge out from behind the rock by the collar. Forge had his drill set to its biggest, nastiest-looking configuration.

"Hey, where are the human women at?" Forge asked. He and Remy ducked back behind the rock as the FoH thugs ran towards them. When the thugs came around the rock, Remy and Forge jumped them, knocked them out, and took their sweaters. Then they casually walked over to the line.

A little while later, they were at the front of the line as Pietro finished interviewing some Mexican bandits.

"Be ready to attack Bayville at noon tomorrow," Pietro instructed. "Here's your badge,"

"Badges?" asked Pyro, who was dressed as one of the bandits. "Badges? We don't need no steekin' badges! Vaminos!" he called, and he and Colossus walked away laughing, clearing the way for Remy and Forge to approach the table.

"Qualifications?" Pietro asked them as they stepped forward.

"Stampeding cattle," Forge said.

"That's not much of a crime,"

"Through the Vatican?"

"Kinky! Sign here" Pietro said.

Forge reached out and took the pen, but as he did so, he accidentally brought his drill hand into view.

Thinking quickly, Remy grabbed the drill and started to pull.

"Why, Rex!" he said. "How many times has Remy told you to put your tools away after you're done building!"

He pulled harder, but the drill stayed attached to Forge's arm.

"Ow, quit it!" Forge said. "This is my real arm!"

"Oh, sorry," Remy said. "Dey told Remy dat dis was a prop, like in Mutants in Tights,"

"No, this is the real thing,"

"Den how did Scott get your arm for dat last fight scene anyway?"

"It's a long story," Forge said.

By this time, of course, their cover had been completely blown. Lance stepped forward and jerked Forge's mask off his face for the whole world to see.

"And now for my next impression," Forge said. "Pietro Maximoff!" With that, he and Remy took off running.

"Hey, nobody impersonates me and gets away with them!" Pietro shouted. "After them! Seize them, catch them!" He fired his pistol into the air.

"We'll head 'em off at the pass!" Lance screamed to his men. Pietro cringed and turned around.

"Head them off at the pass?" he asked angrily. "I HATE that cliché!"

With that, he shot Lance in the foot. Lance screamed and started jumping around as the scene wrapped up.

"Cut!"

"Dammit, Jamie, you said those were going to be fake bullets!" Lance screamed at him.

"Did I? Hmm," Jamie said, puzzled. "Must have been a mix-up in the prop department,"

"You like rape?" Jean asked Duncan.

"Hey, Jean, gimme a break!" Duncan said. "I was just reading the script!" He opened the script to show Jean what he was talking about.

"Get away from me, you sicko!" she screamed, and dashed away from him

X