Loving you,
Isn't the right thing to do
How can I ever change things
That I feel
If I could, Maybe I'd give you my world How can I, When you won't take it from me
You can go your own way Go your own way You an call it, Another lonely day You can go your own way Go your own way ~Fleetwood Mac
Chapter 19
Authors note: I am hoping no one has guessed (right) at how this fic is going to end....
I'd give you my world
"The coast is clear." Ellone whispered looking from left to right out of Squall's door. After another quick check, Ellone turned to face the inside of the room. "Let's go." She whispered looking eager. Squall's face appeared shortly after hers, and checked the passage way also.
"Ok, let's get going." Squall agreed taking Ellone's hand and pulling her along after him. Ellone staggered forward with a giggle.
"Whoa, Squall slow down!" Ellone said through light laughter.
"And where are you two off to?" Asked a suspicious voice that was all too familiar.
Squall halted his step suddenly and brought Ellone crashing into him.
"Ouch Squall!" Ellone mumbled, rubbing her hand after being released from Squall's tight grasp.
"Err, we weren't going anywhere." Squall replied facing his enquirer. Laguna raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest.
"Come on guys, it's the party! Come on down and join in!" Laguna said jumping up in excitement. Ellone kicked Squall in the ankle to prevent him saying anything in reply.
"Oh, um we were just gonna, um, go change. Yeah. Isn't that right Squall?" Ellone said looking at Squall in a pleading way. Squall frowned before catching onto her plan.
"Oh. Oh yeah, yeah that's right." Squall said nodding and looking at Ellone in a way that said 'he won't buy this'. Ellone smiled sweetly and pushed Squall onwards.
"Well, we don't want to keep you dad. Come on Squall; let's go get you in that pirate costume." Ellone said quickly, pushing Squall back into his room against a few protests. Squall shrugged her away from him and walked to the window. Ellone watched him before placing her ear to the door and listening for noise. "I think he's gone now Squall. Squall?"
"What? Oh yes, um lets go."
"You alright?"
"Never better, come on." Squall replied a little too quickly for Ellone's liking. "Well? Come on!"
The two sneaked down the hallway with over exuberant movements. Shaping their fingers into guns and creeping along with their backs to the walls; while humming a certain spy tune.
"Agent Squall, we have reached the garage." Ellone spoke into her watchstrap.
"Well observed Agent Ellone. Be careful, the enemy has many eyes." Squall answered dramatically, looking around though a pair of homemade binoculars at a machine filled room.
"Yes Sir." Ellone replied, saluting in a military fashion. Squall nodded and ran towards the helicopter, signalling for Ellone to follow him. Flinging herself onto the floor, Ellone commando crawled her way towards him. Squall watched her surprisingly fast approach towards him. "Trip the switch." She ordered standing up.
"Here we go." Squall whispered pulling the lever that would hopefully open the sky roof, without setting off the alarms. The roof slid away painfully slowly. But to their relief, there were none of the expected alarms.
"Good work Agent S.L."
"Thank you Agent E.L. After you?" Squall said, helping Ellone into the helicopter by using his hands as a step for her to stand in. "Now, I guess it's off to Galbadia!"
"Wahoo!" Ellone screamed before realising her situation as Squall started the engine. "Oh Hyne. I'm going to die." Ellone mumbled reaching frantically for her seatbelt.
"Don't worry Ell, you'll be home in time to watch your, err... videos soon." Squall said winking at her. Ellone looked at him scandalized.
"Hey! I do not watch what you are suggesting I watch." Ellone shouted. Squall smirked, he'd found a new button to press to make her annoyed. "I bet you do though." She added under her breath, but just intentionally loud enough for Squall to hear. Instead of replying, Squall rammed the machine onto motion. Making the frame jerk in an unfriendly way before the blades started to spin and carry them upwards.
"Yeah, did you want to borrow one?" Squall asked smiling wickedly. Ellone smiled despite herself and decided to play along with Squall's game.
"Nah, I already checked your room. You didn't have any. All you had were 'My little pony' videos. Oh and Power Rangers." Ellone said impressed with herself. Squall smirked and concentrated on guiding the expensive machine out of the room that it was imprisoned in.
Laguna finished greeting his guests with a grateful sigh and decided to take a quick walk outside in the colder air. Accompanied by two of his bodyguards, Laguna walked confidently out into the garden. The sound of singing birds, returning to their nests at the sight of the sunset, filled the cool air with a calming effect. Laguna let himself breathe in some of the magic laced evening before preparing himself for another showdown with his numerous guests. Just as he was about to leave, a new sound caught his ear.
A growing humming broke the stillness of the evening, and sent the sweet sounds into silence.
"What the?" Laguna questioned as the humming turned into a fast swishing noise. "It sounds like a..." Laguna began puzzled. But his answer was seen before it was spoken. "Helicopter. Hey that's mine."
"Oh, err hi dad." Squall said, leaning out of the window slightly as the miniature helicopter came close enough for speaking range. Ellone waved from beside him.
"What... are... you... doing?" Laguna asked, speaking each word with difficultly.
"Just a little evening flying." Squall answered. "Isn't the view beautiful?" He added. Both Ellone and Laguna started, Squall? Find something beautiful? Impossible!
"Ok, now I am worried." Laguna called over the noise of the blades.
"Yes that's nice. Bye!" Squall said randomly, before turning the helicopter and lifting it higher. Ellone laughed.
"You could have explained."
"He wouldn't have understood anyway, all he'd see is a chance to ride in a helicopter. No matter how many times he does, it's always the same questions. 'What does this do? What does this do?' As if anyone really needs to be told what a door handle is a hundred plus times." Squall said trying to suppress a smile.
"He's much better now." Ellone defended.
"Ooh, you mean he's moved on to asking what a light bulb is?"
"Stop it Squall."
"Ok, ok"
********************
Rinoa walked into her office for the first time in a long while. Like old times she was immediately greeted by Selphie.
"Hey you!"
"Hi Selphie." Rinoa answered walking calmly into the elevator.
"Heeey, wait!" Selphie shouted jumping in after her. "You look upset." She commented after they had passed a few floors. Rinoa looked down at her feet before answering.
"Yeah, well. I just found out Seifer was engaged the whole time." Rinoa answered bluntly.
"Oh, I'm sorry, were you and him...you know...back together?" Selphie asked cautiously. Rinoa shook her head.
"No. It's just that, he screwed everything with me and Squall and fed me a load of lies." Rinoa replied honestly.
"Oh." Selphie said not sure how to best comfort her.
"I'd just rather think it through for a bit Selph, you know, try and understand." Rinoa said leading the way towards their desks. Selphie nodded as she followed her.
"Yes, ok. I won't ask any questions."
The morning passed quickly, and Rinoa wondered when she would be called to see her boss. It had been made clear that she was needed back, but now here, the urgency didn't seem that bad. Before she knew what was happening, the entire office was in uproar. The workers flocked to the window with surprised faces.
"Rinny, Rinny, you'll never guess what happened! The most coolest thing! A helicopter just landed in the car park!" Selphie squealed excitedly. Rinoa rushed to the window eagerly with all the others and looked down. Sure enough, like Selphie had said, there was a helicopter in the car park.
"What's it doing here?" Rinoa asked. Selphie shrugged.
"Beats me. Maybe it's here to give rides!" Selphie suggested. Rinoa frowned.
"I doubt it Selph." Rinoa replied, watching as the blades on the top started to slow.
"A girl can hope can't she?"
Rinoa stared at the paint work on the side of it, strangely it was calling on her memories, but it failed to find an answer in her mind.
"Hey, isn't that the presidents son?" Asked one of the women, a few feet away from Rinoa's place at the window. Rinoa gaped as Squall started walking across the cement floor and heading towards the entrance.
"Oh Hyne." Rinoa whispered, grabbing Selphie by the arm and pulling her away. "He's here."
"Ooh, he looks hot." Continued the woman at the window. Rinoa scowled at her back, before remembering that she had now real reason to resent competition, since she had lost Squall on her own.
Squall stormed his way into the building via the main entrance, passing the guards who owned confused faces. A woman with papers dropped them all over the floor as Squall walked passed her.
"Is that?"
"What's he doing here?"
Squall looked around the busy lobby before heading towards the reception desk. The girl behind the counter watched him curiously and jumped when he addressed her.
"What floor does Miss Rinoa Heartilly work on?" Squall asked hastily. The girl stared him blankly before registering what had been asked of her.
"Oh, yes. Um, the fifth floor Sir."
"Thankyou." Squall said hurrying to the elevator.
"Your welcome!" She called sweetly after him.
There was silence in the office as the bell from the elevator sounded. Rinoa held onto Selphie's arm with fear, if it was him, if it was Squall how would she be able to survive it?
The sliding doors opened and Squall walked out confidently. Rinoa gasped and ducked behind her computer screen. Selphie gave her quizzical look before watching Squall. He was addressing the nearest member of the office and being shown in the direction of Rinoa's desk.
"He's err, coming over." Selphie said nudging Rinoa. Rinoa's head snapped up and unintentionally she caught Squall's eye.
"Oh crap, oh no, oh help." Rinoa muttered to herself with a frightened look in her eyes. Squall was nearly upon her now, but she couldn't move to greet him. Thankfully he made the first move.
"Rinoa, I need to talk to you." Squall ordered pulling Rinoa to her feet and dragging her out of the office much to everyone's surprise. The reason for Squall's rough greeting was that he was expecting an objection on her side.
"Squall! What are you doing?" Rinoa asked snatching her hand out of his.
"I want you to come back with me now. I don't care what Seifer has said to you, he's a liar, please don't trust him. Come back with me. I love you so much Rin." Squall said, his words coming out in a jumble. Rinoa watched him; trying desperately to process all the words she had been forcefully given.
"Squall, slow down. I'm not with Seifer. Apparently Mr smooth has been engaged the whole time." Rinoa said, there was no point keeping it to herself, Squall deserved to know that at least. But his answer to her confession shocked her.
"Yes I know. Anie Hesters, used to be an ex of mine I don't even be that anymore." Squall said finding his shoes interesting for a while.
"Your joking right? Oh please say you're joking." Rinoa whispered. She almost felt like crying, why was everything so messed up?
"This isn't the first time I have seen Seifer since I left Garden. Against all better judgement, I invited him to a party we were having some while back. Of course Anie was there, I guess it just kind of explains it's self."
"Oh, Squall."
"I didn't want to loose you too." Squall said taking her hand. Rinoa watched as he held her hand tightly and brought it up close to his lips to kiss it.
"Squall, I can't pretend that I don't love you, because I do." Rinoa began. Squall dropped her hand, sensing she was about to tell him something important. "And I can't hide that, coming all this way to confess you love hasn't moved me deeply. But I cannot return with you."
The dreamy expression on Squall's face vanished instantly.
"What? What do you mean?" Squall asked desperately. Rinoa sighed.
"I belong here, this is my home."
"No, no I don't understand. I thought you said you loved me!"
A few people passed them, and the pair lapsed into silence till they were gone.
"Squall, I will never forget the wonderful life you showed me in Esthar. With you there I was more alive than ever. But would it last?" Rinoa said trying to explain.
"Yes, yes it would last." Squall answered urgently. All he wanted to do was kiss her, but his restraint held him back out of respect.
"We are two completely different people, we lead different lives. What seems so perfect at first is really covered in tiny cracks." Rinoa said, causing Squall to look puzzled. "What I mean is, I don't think I am strong enough to live your life. I can barely cope with mine."
"No, Rinoa that's not true."
"I'd crumble under their scrupulous eyes. You could teach me how to live in your shiny world, but I would never be accepted. I can not endure that kind of life."
"Rinoa I've never understood you. What is it that you want? I'm giving you everything that I can. What? You want to get married? We can get married, come on Rin. Come home with me." Squall pleaded once more. Rinoa sighed again and shook her head.
"Oh sure it would all be smiles and fun for a few years, but then what? What next? To be always in the public eye? It makes a person cold, withdrawn, afraid to live. I see it all the time. Give up my freedom for you? For love? Marry me you ask, Squall, think how it would destroy us!"
Squall found himself speechless, how could she be so cold?
"So you choose to stay here then, alone, working like a slave for your newspaper?" Squall asked annoyed. Rinoa scowled.
"Squall, I will not take a hand out. I do not want to be kept."
"Oh this is a different change of tune, so happy to jump into bed with me before. What happened Rinny? Did you get scared?" Squall asked mockingly.
"How dare you." Rinoa warned, her eyes flashing in anger. "Are you suggesting that I used you, is that it?"
"I dunno, you tell me."
"I did not use you. I love you." Rinoa said feeling very small.
"If I wasn't connected in anyway to Laguna, would to leave with me?" Squall asked curious.
"Squall what does it matter? It's impossible, why make me answer when it won't help anyway!"
"Rinoa forget who we are, forget who you are. Just listen to your heart. Nobody has power over you; you proved that right from the very beginning. Why should you care what anyone thinks, when all that around you approve? Come with me please."
"No. Squall I have poured every feeling on this subject that I own, please don't make me say more." Rinoa said looking pleadingly into Squall's eyes.
"Then you disappoint me. I thought you were different, I thought you truly loved me, but I suppose I got that wrong. Was I just a plan to get secrets into your book? You used me, you lied your way into my trust."
"No, no that's not true!" Rinoa exclaimed shocked.
"I told you things I had never confided anyone, and you know why? Because I thought I could trust you." Squall said, hurt sounding deeply in his voice. "Before you came, I believed that journalists were just after anything they could get. Money was all they thought about. It didn't matter to them how many people they hurt and betrayed along the way, just as long as they got their stories. For awhile Rin, you almost had me convinced otherwise. But it seems I had it right all along." Squall said starting to walk away from her.
"No wait Squall, I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you, I love you so much. I wasn't using you, you must believe me. But I can't return with you. How can I when I have so much to lose? Do you know how long it took me to get this job? For years I have struggled against people who said I would never make it. To give it up now would be too much of a loss." Rinoa explained. Squall listened politely, but he had had enough of her practical thinking. Yes, what she was saying Squall could understand because he had been through the same thing himself. Fighting against other peoples prejudices, it wasn't something easily done.
"I understand." Squall answered, sensing that this was the answer she was waiting for. A look of relief spread over Rinoa's face.
"I have to go." Rinoa said opening the door to the office. The chatter inside quickly died as Rinoa appeared once again.
"Wait Rin." Squall demanded. Rinoa blushed deeply as all the office eyes were on her. "Come here." Rinoa felt her chest flutter like when she had first laid eyes on him. He was looking at her in that way again, the one that made her feel vulnerable to anything he might do next. Wrapping his arm around her back, Squall pulled Rinoa close to him so that she was pressed tightly to his chest. Rinoa let her hands dangle loosely by her side as he leaned into kiss her. Rinoa felt her brain screaming out two different orders. The impulse to keep kissing him overruled the better judgement of pulling away. After the initial shock, the office burst into cheers bringing Rinoa back to her feet.
"Squall" Rinoa said breathlessly.
"Yeah?" Squall asked. Rinoa shook her head as she couldn't find anything to say. Squall smiled before turning to walk away. This time Rinoa let him leave her.
She wasn't going to return with him, and It tore his heart to think that it was only days ago when she had been so ready to love him in the way he'd wished. Rinoa stood rigid, no words or action could penetrate the sadness that hung over her in a heavy curtain.
Yes it would be happiness with Squall, but it would also be brief. Mrs Leonhart would either be accepted or shunned. It would be a big gamble and one that would determine her future. Either way, a life in the papers would never flatter her.
The helicopter that had brought so much expectation, now left with more. What was going on with Rinoa and Squall?
"Ooh, I think we all know what Rinny's been up to in Esthar." Commented one of the onlookers. Rinoa felt tears prickle in the backs of her eyes. Why did he always make her cry?
AN: Whoopie I finally got the title of the fic in there! Thank you, all of you for reading!
ima hopeless romantic, eiggem3, The Angel of the Lion, Crystal Night, CharlieGirl, Hiasha, The Notorious Naurwen, Jewels14, Ma/eRiCK, AngelWingedPrincess, Mariko, omnitoad, RPG Hui, Karla, Shaman King, AnglePrincess29, miss wings, CTHKSI, Lionheart, Griever Leonhart, Liliangel(sure I understand your English! :), Lady Yevon, Archangel_666, townberry, Sammy-Chan, Rinoa Heartilly-Leonhart, Princess Amelia, shinji the good sharer, lionhearted, Kupo, CuteMooglez, bn431, Rory.
Yeah I can almost feel the flames for this chapter..
If I could, Maybe I'd give you my world How can I, When you won't take it from me
You can go your own way Go your own way You an call it, Another lonely day You can go your own way Go your own way ~Fleetwood Mac
Chapter 19
Authors note: I am hoping no one has guessed (right) at how this fic is going to end....
I'd give you my world
"The coast is clear." Ellone whispered looking from left to right out of Squall's door. After another quick check, Ellone turned to face the inside of the room. "Let's go." She whispered looking eager. Squall's face appeared shortly after hers, and checked the passage way also.
"Ok, let's get going." Squall agreed taking Ellone's hand and pulling her along after him. Ellone staggered forward with a giggle.
"Whoa, Squall slow down!" Ellone said through light laughter.
"And where are you two off to?" Asked a suspicious voice that was all too familiar.
Squall halted his step suddenly and brought Ellone crashing into him.
"Ouch Squall!" Ellone mumbled, rubbing her hand after being released from Squall's tight grasp.
"Err, we weren't going anywhere." Squall replied facing his enquirer. Laguna raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest.
"Come on guys, it's the party! Come on down and join in!" Laguna said jumping up in excitement. Ellone kicked Squall in the ankle to prevent him saying anything in reply.
"Oh, um we were just gonna, um, go change. Yeah. Isn't that right Squall?" Ellone said looking at Squall in a pleading way. Squall frowned before catching onto her plan.
"Oh. Oh yeah, yeah that's right." Squall said nodding and looking at Ellone in a way that said 'he won't buy this'. Ellone smiled sweetly and pushed Squall onwards.
"Well, we don't want to keep you dad. Come on Squall; let's go get you in that pirate costume." Ellone said quickly, pushing Squall back into his room against a few protests. Squall shrugged her away from him and walked to the window. Ellone watched him before placing her ear to the door and listening for noise. "I think he's gone now Squall. Squall?"
"What? Oh yes, um lets go."
"You alright?"
"Never better, come on." Squall replied a little too quickly for Ellone's liking. "Well? Come on!"
The two sneaked down the hallway with over exuberant movements. Shaping their fingers into guns and creeping along with their backs to the walls; while humming a certain spy tune.
"Agent Squall, we have reached the garage." Ellone spoke into her watchstrap.
"Well observed Agent Ellone. Be careful, the enemy has many eyes." Squall answered dramatically, looking around though a pair of homemade binoculars at a machine filled room.
"Yes Sir." Ellone replied, saluting in a military fashion. Squall nodded and ran towards the helicopter, signalling for Ellone to follow him. Flinging herself onto the floor, Ellone commando crawled her way towards him. Squall watched her surprisingly fast approach towards him. "Trip the switch." She ordered standing up.
"Here we go." Squall whispered pulling the lever that would hopefully open the sky roof, without setting off the alarms. The roof slid away painfully slowly. But to their relief, there were none of the expected alarms.
"Good work Agent S.L."
"Thank you Agent E.L. After you?" Squall said, helping Ellone into the helicopter by using his hands as a step for her to stand in. "Now, I guess it's off to Galbadia!"
"Wahoo!" Ellone screamed before realising her situation as Squall started the engine. "Oh Hyne. I'm going to die." Ellone mumbled reaching frantically for her seatbelt.
"Don't worry Ell, you'll be home in time to watch your, err... videos soon." Squall said winking at her. Ellone looked at him scandalized.
"Hey! I do not watch what you are suggesting I watch." Ellone shouted. Squall smirked, he'd found a new button to press to make her annoyed. "I bet you do though." She added under her breath, but just intentionally loud enough for Squall to hear. Instead of replying, Squall rammed the machine onto motion. Making the frame jerk in an unfriendly way before the blades started to spin and carry them upwards.
"Yeah, did you want to borrow one?" Squall asked smiling wickedly. Ellone smiled despite herself and decided to play along with Squall's game.
"Nah, I already checked your room. You didn't have any. All you had were 'My little pony' videos. Oh and Power Rangers." Ellone said impressed with herself. Squall smirked and concentrated on guiding the expensive machine out of the room that it was imprisoned in.
Laguna finished greeting his guests with a grateful sigh and decided to take a quick walk outside in the colder air. Accompanied by two of his bodyguards, Laguna walked confidently out into the garden. The sound of singing birds, returning to their nests at the sight of the sunset, filled the cool air with a calming effect. Laguna let himself breathe in some of the magic laced evening before preparing himself for another showdown with his numerous guests. Just as he was about to leave, a new sound caught his ear.
A growing humming broke the stillness of the evening, and sent the sweet sounds into silence.
"What the?" Laguna questioned as the humming turned into a fast swishing noise. "It sounds like a..." Laguna began puzzled. But his answer was seen before it was spoken. "Helicopter. Hey that's mine."
"Oh, err hi dad." Squall said, leaning out of the window slightly as the miniature helicopter came close enough for speaking range. Ellone waved from beside him.
"What... are... you... doing?" Laguna asked, speaking each word with difficultly.
"Just a little evening flying." Squall answered. "Isn't the view beautiful?" He added. Both Ellone and Laguna started, Squall? Find something beautiful? Impossible!
"Ok, now I am worried." Laguna called over the noise of the blades.
"Yes that's nice. Bye!" Squall said randomly, before turning the helicopter and lifting it higher. Ellone laughed.
"You could have explained."
"He wouldn't have understood anyway, all he'd see is a chance to ride in a helicopter. No matter how many times he does, it's always the same questions. 'What does this do? What does this do?' As if anyone really needs to be told what a door handle is a hundred plus times." Squall said trying to suppress a smile.
"He's much better now." Ellone defended.
"Ooh, you mean he's moved on to asking what a light bulb is?"
"Stop it Squall."
"Ok, ok"
********************
Rinoa walked into her office for the first time in a long while. Like old times she was immediately greeted by Selphie.
"Hey you!"
"Hi Selphie." Rinoa answered walking calmly into the elevator.
"Heeey, wait!" Selphie shouted jumping in after her. "You look upset." She commented after they had passed a few floors. Rinoa looked down at her feet before answering.
"Yeah, well. I just found out Seifer was engaged the whole time." Rinoa answered bluntly.
"Oh, I'm sorry, were you and him...you know...back together?" Selphie asked cautiously. Rinoa shook her head.
"No. It's just that, he screwed everything with me and Squall and fed me a load of lies." Rinoa replied honestly.
"Oh." Selphie said not sure how to best comfort her.
"I'd just rather think it through for a bit Selph, you know, try and understand." Rinoa said leading the way towards their desks. Selphie nodded as she followed her.
"Yes, ok. I won't ask any questions."
The morning passed quickly, and Rinoa wondered when she would be called to see her boss. It had been made clear that she was needed back, but now here, the urgency didn't seem that bad. Before she knew what was happening, the entire office was in uproar. The workers flocked to the window with surprised faces.
"Rinny, Rinny, you'll never guess what happened! The most coolest thing! A helicopter just landed in the car park!" Selphie squealed excitedly. Rinoa rushed to the window eagerly with all the others and looked down. Sure enough, like Selphie had said, there was a helicopter in the car park.
"What's it doing here?" Rinoa asked. Selphie shrugged.
"Beats me. Maybe it's here to give rides!" Selphie suggested. Rinoa frowned.
"I doubt it Selph." Rinoa replied, watching as the blades on the top started to slow.
"A girl can hope can't she?"
Rinoa stared at the paint work on the side of it, strangely it was calling on her memories, but it failed to find an answer in her mind.
"Hey, isn't that the presidents son?" Asked one of the women, a few feet away from Rinoa's place at the window. Rinoa gaped as Squall started walking across the cement floor and heading towards the entrance.
"Oh Hyne." Rinoa whispered, grabbing Selphie by the arm and pulling her away. "He's here."
"Ooh, he looks hot." Continued the woman at the window. Rinoa scowled at her back, before remembering that she had now real reason to resent competition, since she had lost Squall on her own.
Squall stormed his way into the building via the main entrance, passing the guards who owned confused faces. A woman with papers dropped them all over the floor as Squall walked passed her.
"Is that?"
"What's he doing here?"
Squall looked around the busy lobby before heading towards the reception desk. The girl behind the counter watched him curiously and jumped when he addressed her.
"What floor does Miss Rinoa Heartilly work on?" Squall asked hastily. The girl stared him blankly before registering what had been asked of her.
"Oh, yes. Um, the fifth floor Sir."
"Thankyou." Squall said hurrying to the elevator.
"Your welcome!" She called sweetly after him.
There was silence in the office as the bell from the elevator sounded. Rinoa held onto Selphie's arm with fear, if it was him, if it was Squall how would she be able to survive it?
The sliding doors opened and Squall walked out confidently. Rinoa gasped and ducked behind her computer screen. Selphie gave her quizzical look before watching Squall. He was addressing the nearest member of the office and being shown in the direction of Rinoa's desk.
"He's err, coming over." Selphie said nudging Rinoa. Rinoa's head snapped up and unintentionally she caught Squall's eye.
"Oh crap, oh no, oh help." Rinoa muttered to herself with a frightened look in her eyes. Squall was nearly upon her now, but she couldn't move to greet him. Thankfully he made the first move.
"Rinoa, I need to talk to you." Squall ordered pulling Rinoa to her feet and dragging her out of the office much to everyone's surprise. The reason for Squall's rough greeting was that he was expecting an objection on her side.
"Squall! What are you doing?" Rinoa asked snatching her hand out of his.
"I want you to come back with me now. I don't care what Seifer has said to you, he's a liar, please don't trust him. Come back with me. I love you so much Rin." Squall said, his words coming out in a jumble. Rinoa watched him; trying desperately to process all the words she had been forcefully given.
"Squall, slow down. I'm not with Seifer. Apparently Mr smooth has been engaged the whole time." Rinoa said, there was no point keeping it to herself, Squall deserved to know that at least. But his answer to her confession shocked her.
"Yes I know. Anie Hesters, used to be an ex of mine I don't even be that anymore." Squall said finding his shoes interesting for a while.
"Your joking right? Oh please say you're joking." Rinoa whispered. She almost felt like crying, why was everything so messed up?
"This isn't the first time I have seen Seifer since I left Garden. Against all better judgement, I invited him to a party we were having some while back. Of course Anie was there, I guess it just kind of explains it's self."
"Oh, Squall."
"I didn't want to loose you too." Squall said taking her hand. Rinoa watched as he held her hand tightly and brought it up close to his lips to kiss it.
"Squall, I can't pretend that I don't love you, because I do." Rinoa began. Squall dropped her hand, sensing she was about to tell him something important. "And I can't hide that, coming all this way to confess you love hasn't moved me deeply. But I cannot return with you."
The dreamy expression on Squall's face vanished instantly.
"What? What do you mean?" Squall asked desperately. Rinoa sighed.
"I belong here, this is my home."
"No, no I don't understand. I thought you said you loved me!"
A few people passed them, and the pair lapsed into silence till they were gone.
"Squall, I will never forget the wonderful life you showed me in Esthar. With you there I was more alive than ever. But would it last?" Rinoa said trying to explain.
"Yes, yes it would last." Squall answered urgently. All he wanted to do was kiss her, but his restraint held him back out of respect.
"We are two completely different people, we lead different lives. What seems so perfect at first is really covered in tiny cracks." Rinoa said, causing Squall to look puzzled. "What I mean is, I don't think I am strong enough to live your life. I can barely cope with mine."
"No, Rinoa that's not true."
"I'd crumble under their scrupulous eyes. You could teach me how to live in your shiny world, but I would never be accepted. I can not endure that kind of life."
"Rinoa I've never understood you. What is it that you want? I'm giving you everything that I can. What? You want to get married? We can get married, come on Rin. Come home with me." Squall pleaded once more. Rinoa sighed again and shook her head.
"Oh sure it would all be smiles and fun for a few years, but then what? What next? To be always in the public eye? It makes a person cold, withdrawn, afraid to live. I see it all the time. Give up my freedom for you? For love? Marry me you ask, Squall, think how it would destroy us!"
Squall found himself speechless, how could she be so cold?
"So you choose to stay here then, alone, working like a slave for your newspaper?" Squall asked annoyed. Rinoa scowled.
"Squall, I will not take a hand out. I do not want to be kept."
"Oh this is a different change of tune, so happy to jump into bed with me before. What happened Rinny? Did you get scared?" Squall asked mockingly.
"How dare you." Rinoa warned, her eyes flashing in anger. "Are you suggesting that I used you, is that it?"
"I dunno, you tell me."
"I did not use you. I love you." Rinoa said feeling very small.
"If I wasn't connected in anyway to Laguna, would to leave with me?" Squall asked curious.
"Squall what does it matter? It's impossible, why make me answer when it won't help anyway!"
"Rinoa forget who we are, forget who you are. Just listen to your heart. Nobody has power over you; you proved that right from the very beginning. Why should you care what anyone thinks, when all that around you approve? Come with me please."
"No. Squall I have poured every feeling on this subject that I own, please don't make me say more." Rinoa said looking pleadingly into Squall's eyes.
"Then you disappoint me. I thought you were different, I thought you truly loved me, but I suppose I got that wrong. Was I just a plan to get secrets into your book? You used me, you lied your way into my trust."
"No, no that's not true!" Rinoa exclaimed shocked.
"I told you things I had never confided anyone, and you know why? Because I thought I could trust you." Squall said, hurt sounding deeply in his voice. "Before you came, I believed that journalists were just after anything they could get. Money was all they thought about. It didn't matter to them how many people they hurt and betrayed along the way, just as long as they got their stories. For awhile Rin, you almost had me convinced otherwise. But it seems I had it right all along." Squall said starting to walk away from her.
"No wait Squall, I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you, I love you so much. I wasn't using you, you must believe me. But I can't return with you. How can I when I have so much to lose? Do you know how long it took me to get this job? For years I have struggled against people who said I would never make it. To give it up now would be too much of a loss." Rinoa explained. Squall listened politely, but he had had enough of her practical thinking. Yes, what she was saying Squall could understand because he had been through the same thing himself. Fighting against other peoples prejudices, it wasn't something easily done.
"I understand." Squall answered, sensing that this was the answer she was waiting for. A look of relief spread over Rinoa's face.
"I have to go." Rinoa said opening the door to the office. The chatter inside quickly died as Rinoa appeared once again.
"Wait Rin." Squall demanded. Rinoa blushed deeply as all the office eyes were on her. "Come here." Rinoa felt her chest flutter like when she had first laid eyes on him. He was looking at her in that way again, the one that made her feel vulnerable to anything he might do next. Wrapping his arm around her back, Squall pulled Rinoa close to him so that she was pressed tightly to his chest. Rinoa let her hands dangle loosely by her side as he leaned into kiss her. Rinoa felt her brain screaming out two different orders. The impulse to keep kissing him overruled the better judgement of pulling away. After the initial shock, the office burst into cheers bringing Rinoa back to her feet.
"Squall" Rinoa said breathlessly.
"Yeah?" Squall asked. Rinoa shook her head as she couldn't find anything to say. Squall smiled before turning to walk away. This time Rinoa let him leave her.
She wasn't going to return with him, and It tore his heart to think that it was only days ago when she had been so ready to love him in the way he'd wished. Rinoa stood rigid, no words or action could penetrate the sadness that hung over her in a heavy curtain.
Yes it would be happiness with Squall, but it would also be brief. Mrs Leonhart would either be accepted or shunned. It would be a big gamble and one that would determine her future. Either way, a life in the papers would never flatter her.
The helicopter that had brought so much expectation, now left with more. What was going on with Rinoa and Squall?
"Ooh, I think we all know what Rinny's been up to in Esthar." Commented one of the onlookers. Rinoa felt tears prickle in the backs of her eyes. Why did he always make her cry?
AN: Whoopie I finally got the title of the fic in there! Thank you, all of you for reading!
ima hopeless romantic, eiggem3, The Angel of the Lion, Crystal Night, CharlieGirl, Hiasha, The Notorious Naurwen, Jewels14, Ma/eRiCK, AngelWingedPrincess, Mariko, omnitoad, RPG Hui, Karla, Shaman King, AnglePrincess29, miss wings, CTHKSI, Lionheart, Griever Leonhart, Liliangel(sure I understand your English! :), Lady Yevon, Archangel_666, townberry, Sammy-Chan, Rinoa Heartilly-Leonhart, Princess Amelia, shinji the good sharer, lionhearted, Kupo, CuteMooglez, bn431, Rory.
Yeah I can almost feel the flames for this chapter..
