A Boy in the Goblin King's Castle

Joshua had taken his reading glasses from his pocket, shoving them so roughly on his nose that he cut himself. They hadn't changed a thing. Thus, he sat huddled in the corner, staring with eyes so wide the glasses threatened to fall. He was too afraid to move and stop their descent.

When he was little, his mother had given him the glasses. She promised that whenever he put them on, the monsters under his bed would be so afraid that they wouldn't bother with him, and would go away. He had long known that she had just made it up to make him feel better, but in moments like this, he still turned to the glasses for sanctuary. The act of putting them on, this time, did not dispel the illusions in the dark corners of his bedroom. Which led him to two conclusions. The first being, that he was no longer in his room, or his Uncle Toby's room which he had hidden from his sister in.

The second, that the hulking, armored, dripping, leering, toothed and horned things surrounding him in the dark pit, were real.

Joshua would have assumed it all a horrible dream, if he didn't remember so vividly how he'd been carried like luggage through another dark place into a pit by the horrible monsters. Or if he hadn't thought it was a dream. Dreams never last after you discover them for what they are, his mother had told him.

After he had sat, so very still, in the corner for a time beyond what he could keep track of, Joshua began to relax. Few of the things looked in his direction, and none of them seemed to care he was even there at all. As he calmed down, Joshua realized that he was twice as large as the largest monster. In fact, he could probably just kick them around if they started to harass him.

That in mind, Joshua stood up. All around him, the things scattered for cover, ranting about the 'monster' being awake. Before they could all get away, he snatched one up by the tail. The creature was covered in a greasy fur from head to tail tip, and its arms were as long as its body. Fortunately, its body wasn't much over a foot long. Two horns that seemed to be made out of a very flimsy cartilage instead of bone looped out to the sides of its head from a point between its glowing yellow eyes. As it hung suspended upside down, he asked it where he was and why they had taken him there.

"I don't know!"

"You don't know where we are, or you don't know why I'm here?" Joshua wasn't about to let it go easily.

"Of course I know where I am! This is the Goblin King's castle!"

"And why am I here?"

"How should I know?"

"You brought me here," Joshua yelled, stomping his foot, and shaking the monster about.

"Cahr! His Majesty made me do it!"

"Why!"

"I don't know! I just do what I'm told!" Something must have occurred to the thing, then, because it scrunched its face up in what Joshua could only assume was a smirk. "Mostly."

"So you're a goblin, huh," Joshua asked it after a thoughtful pause.

While the captive goblin was preparing to agree, two others suddenly appeared. Both were short, hunchbacked, and wearing a long, white beard. They looked exactly alike down to their helmets and maces. They pointed the weapons at him with a grunt that might have been imposing, if they'd been any larger than his foot.

"Fantastic," Joshua said as he rolled his eyes, which was as close to swearing as the fifteen year old boy got. "Who are you?"

"I'm Pilch," said the one on the left, sticking his mace out further in threat.

"And I'm Pilch," the right one squeaked, stomping his foot.

"And you're under arrest," the Pilch on the Left told him in no uncertain terms.

"Oh yeah," Joshua scoffed, trading disbelieving looks with the goblin he still held upside down. "For what?"

"Blatant disregard for the law," screamed Pilch on the Right.

"You've broken the Prevention of Thoughtful Pauses Act," howled Pilch on the Left.

Joshua shrugged, blinked thoughtfully, and stomped on Pilch on the Right. The goblin shrieked, now compacted entirely into his helmet, and went running down a random corridor.

"Now, Pilch," he knelt before the remaining goblin imposingly. Taking the mace from it, Joshua ordered, "Find your king. Tell him I've escaped, and I want him to send me home - immediately. Go!"

Pilch Who Had Been Previously of the Left went shrieking down another corridor.

"Which way do I go to get out of here?"

The captive goblin shrugged, which was rather funny-looking as it was still hanging upside down. Then it pointed into the opening that neither Pilch had taken.

"What's your name, anyway?"

"Demanding, ain'tcha? I'm Groeg. Who're you?"

"Joshua." The boy started down the hallway, having to stoop as it was obviously made only large enough for a very tall goblin. "And I gotta get out of this castle before I remember why I should be worried about that king of yours."

Groeg made a noise that Joshua suspected sneers sounded like, before offering, "Good furking luck. I ain't been outta the castle since the Nixes Takeover."

The hallway got progressively shorter until Joshua had to crawl to get through it. The walls became rough and rocky, jutting out in odd places. Fortunately, it opened up into a giant dome-shaped room before he was forced to let go of Groeg. The new room looked just like the pit he'd been in, down to the three stalactites hanging in the middle of the room. Groeg pointed him down another corridor, but Joshua couldn't remember whether it was the same one he had taken before. He followed it.

"Nixes? Aren't those scaly, hairy monsters who swim the deep and warn people about future drownings they might be culpable for?"

When Groeg only stared at him, Joshua tried again. With smaller words. "Aren't nixes fish people?"

"Nope," the goblin's tone said that was the stupidest idea in the world. "You're thinkin' of nixies. Nixes are like goblins, only smoother and shinier," Groeg said both words as if they were the finest insults he could think of. "They invaded after the Great Collapse of Good Governance and tricked us into letting them stay."

It was Joshua's turn to stare. After a bit, he shook his head and crouched to shuffle through an opening into another room.

Or rather, the same room. He snarled in frustration. "This place is crazy. It just keeps looping back!"

"No it doesn't," Groeg managed to squeak out between losing his breath as he was flung wildly about in Joshua's tantrum.

A soft white light suddenly filled the pit, startling boy and goblin into stillness and silence. Then Groeg shut his glowing eyes, held onto his captor's wrist with all fours, and began to shake so badly that it shook Joshua's entire arm as well.

Joshua, on the other hand, stood enraptured by the light. He suddenly felt very calm. "What is that," he whispered to nothing in particular.

"The Gloamy Sprite," Groeg answered with a harsh whisper.

It seemed as if the light were soughing, so quiet were the words he heard. Then the sound was gone. It was only a moment later that Joshua's mind caught up with his ears.

"Release the goblin. Its captivity is meaningless."

Spurred into action, he set the creature on the ground and promptly forgot it, as he returned to stare into the light. Groeg, however, was too terrified to leave, and crawled onto Joshua's thigh, clutching as tightly as he had to the boy's wrist.

They stood in silence this way for a while, as Joshua relaxed. When his breathing had stilled so as not to interfere with hearing, the Gloamy seemed to sense it and spoke again. "I can lead you out of the castle," the distinctly feminine voice promised. "But I need your help, first, Joshua."

So lost in her spell, the boy didn't think to wonder how she knew his name. "Anything," he swore, leaning closer to hear better.

"I am trapped within the castle by a magic mirror. I need you to break it."

"Just take me to it!" The light seemed to swell and become warm. Joshua assumed it meant she was pleased with him.

"Carry the goblin and bid it make no sound," the soft whisper told him. "Then follow me, quickly!"

Tugging Groeg from his leg, he slung the goblin over his shoulder and ran after the light. He smirked as he remembered it was the one Pilch on the Right had taken. Briefly, he wondered if there were an Anti-Smirking Law. Then he concentrated on keeping sight of the Gloamy Sprite as she wavered from wall to wall.

It was a very short time before the Gloamy Sprite led them into the castle proper. The short, rough walled tunnels abruptly opened into vast corridors of smooth, light coloured stone walls made from giant bricks. The ceiling was so high up that he couldn't make it out in the faint light of the Gloamy. Giant chain links adorned the walls, stopping now and again to display some coat of arms or another, or hang some bit of unrecognizable weaponry. They passed no one, and it seemed as if the castle were abandoned or asleep.

The Gloamy slowed suddenly as they came to a door. She hovered near it, flickering, until Joshua got the clue that he needed to open it. As he did, a brief, sharp, sting assaulted his fingertips. The Gloamy Sprite hovered until he had recovered, then took off again.

Still dark, this part of the castle was different. The walls were made of finer stock, but still giant. Tapestries had once hung in the spaces between the chains, but now they were only tattered remnants of their former glory. Candles had been placed in low spots along the massive chain, but had long since burned out altogether.

The Gloamy Sprite slowed as they neared a lit cross-corridor. Joshua peered around the corner to discover a massive collection of goblins of all shapes and sizes. They seemed to be fighting each other to the death at first, but then he noticed food. They were having lunch. Or dinner. Or something.

"Go now, quick," Groeg whispered. Joshua had the inkling that the goblin was far more concerned about his own safety than the boy's. When the were across, they found the Gloamy lighting up the base of a steep stairwell. The moment they reached her, she shot upwards, vanishing into the darkness. Having no other options, Joshua chased after.

He came to a huffing stop some ten grueling minutes later. They had reached a landing at the top of the staircase, that branched into a single hall. At the end of that, the Gloamy Sprite wavered dimly next to a door. Heaving in gulps of air, Joshua made his way to the door. He had to suspend Groeg in one arm while he put the other against the wall for support.

"In here?"

The Gloamy's only response was a soft breeze against him.

Joshua twisted the handle, and pushed it open, but didn't get the chance to step inside. A wind no harder than his own breath pressed against him, pushing him back from the door.

"Careful," the Gloamy Sprite whispered, and, "Look."

Just inside the jamb of the door, a faint change in the air took place. It looked like the air above a fire, or a hot desert road. Clear flames, his father had told him, mark a magical barrier.

Never once had he believed his father's strange religion and practices to be true. He'd listened, sure enough, and learned. Because he was afraid to do anything else. Yet, never - never, had he believed it real.

Joshua stared at it for a long time, trying to recall the word his father said would make the wall go away. It came to him as he watched the way the 'non-corporeal' wall flickered at him, and he called it out. "Corporeate!"

The wall instantly froze, and became a solid white as if it truly were ice. Then it shattered, and seemed to give out a very quiet moan as it dissipated on the air. He stepped into the room immediately, far more afraid of being found by whatever it was that lived in this part of the castle than by tripping into another magic trap.

The Gloamy Sprite raced across the room to hover in front of a mirror. Joshua could almost make out her features before they were gone on the wind the Gloamy seemed to exist in.

"This is it, huh?" Joshua ran his fingers over the cold frame of the mirror. It was silver carved to resemble leaves. The glass was unmarred, but covered in a very think layer of dust. The mirror was oval, and taller than he, but suspended on a turn stand and tilted toward the ceiling. He noted that the reflection of the Gloamy Sprite seemed to shift from near to far. Turning, he found a twin mirror, oddly hung against the roof, and reflecting directly into the first mirror.

"So," he asked the flickering light. "How do I break it?"

The room swirled with a faint breeze. Joshua guessed that was her way of admitting that she didn't know. He looked at Groeg on his shoulder, and the goblin just shrugged at him. He tried to study the ceiling mirror in the reflection of its twin, but his gaze kept crossing itself.

"Well, since you two are immensely helpful," Joshua reasoned, "I guess I'm on my own. But first," he moved around to the back of the mirror as he spoke. "I'm moving this before I go permanently cross-eyed." He had to reach to his full height to grasp the top of the mirror, then spun it to face the wall, instead.

No sooner had he finished, then a loud crashing sound exploded through the otherwise empty room, and glass rained down on them. Joshua ducked, and Groeg dug his claws into the front of his captor's shirt, to use his body as a shield.

When the tinkling sound of falling shards stopped, Joshua stood up again and shook himself off. Groeg managed not to be thrown off. What sat in the middle of the remains of the ceiling mirror was not at all what the boy had expected. A creme-coloured owl with big, flat circles of feathers around its eyes was calmly plucking pieces of mirror from between its feathers.

"Gloamy," he ventured.

The owl looked up at him and hooted, shaking her feathers out. The body seemed to stretch, and then it suddenly vanished.

"Thank you," the Gloamy Sprite's voice whispered from in front of him.

"Where did you go?" Though he knew it wasn't possible, Joshua felt the wind turn sad all around him. A moment later, the owl reappeared. She took flight, rushing at his face.

Joshua turned out of her way in time to see the owl fly through a window he hadn't noticed. Rushing to it, he called out "Hey, you pro-" before noticing a weight had left his chest.

Below the window ledge, Groeg climbed onto a ladder which was not quite hidden by dense ivy-like vines. The goblin looked up at the boy, and waved with one clawed hand. "Welp, c'mon, then."

"Fantastic," Joshua swore under his breath. The boy removed his glasses, tucking them safely into their case. He then climbed onto the ladder himself, albeit slowly. After he'd left the window entirely, it vanished, and a patch of fungi-like growths took its place. They grew in stalks, at the end of which were very real eyes that followed his every move.

It was all real. And he was going to kill Faryn for it. As soon as he found her, he was going to wrap his hands around her pencil neck and pop off her daydreaming little girl head.

If he ever found her.