Thanks for the continuing support. I wish I could go through and thank
everybody one by one but I only have so much time (I'm at work now! -
opps!) and I figure you would rather I just write - believe me I am reading
your comments faithfully. As you know I have been approaching Xander
slowly so here comes the set-up. Thanks again!
Chapter 15 - Morning
Buffy is invigorated at the thought of having Xander at her mercy. As she thinks the possibilities, she sits down beside him on the cot and gently strokes his hair back from his face. He feels so warm and smells like that new baby smell in a way - a good way. She remembers dancing with him last night at the Bronze about how he became more aggressive and forceful as he danced with her. She liked the feel of him and adoration in his eyes.
Her eyes wonder to where her lover is leaning against the wall looking at her. She wonders at his comfort with letting her have Xander. He seems to read her thoughts, "Buff, it's OK, really. We are one. We share everything. Your pleasure is mine and mine is yours. Any power you absorb flows to me. I can't begrudge you a little fun anymore than I can myself."
Suddenly his eyes turn gold, "That's it though, we have Willow and we will have Xander. They are family, nothing, and I mean nothing is off limits with them. But that's as far as it goes, understand me, everything, everything you've got, everything you are stays inside this family. Do you understand?"
She nods, she understands. Until she was turned she had never thought about the possibility of cheating on Angel but from what she understands being with Xander or even Willow will not be considered cheating. They are essentially extensions of themselves, for pleasure, for companionship, for protection, for whatever the need might be. The more she thinks about it the more sense it makes to her. She reasons that it is really the same as always - with different rules.
"So what'll it be?" Angel asks as he tires of waiting.
"Well, since, I know in the end that he'll be OK, that he'll be with us. I feel better about playing with him a little."
"Playing?" Angel questions.
Buffy wrinkles her nose, "Can you think of a better term?"
"No, it's definitely in the recreational category."
"I think I would like to give him a little scare, if it's OK with you." She says tentatively.
He smiles at whatever she has in mind, "Oh, I'm game."
She takes a deep breath and grins. She walks over to the wall and rips the neck of her tee shirt. She then takes her delicate wrist and places it in one of the shackles hanging off of the wall. She smiles wickedly at him and gestures for him to come to her. She has his attention now. He's always been a sucker for drama.
"OK, first I want you to hit me. Hit me hard on the face so he'll be able to see the bruise."
Angel smiles, she can see his fangs. "My lady likes it rough." He says teasingly. He makes a fist and punches her hard. He doesn't hold back. She needs to learn that with Angelus, you get what you ask for. The back of her head hits the wall and she feels her eye beginning to swell already. He can tell that she's a little shaken. He is interested in what she's going to do next.
"OK, now wake him up and as soon as he's alert, vamp out and bite me. Don't let on that I'm not - you know - alive and well. Play it up as big as you want. Then just follow my lead. Like you said, we'll see where it goes from there."
Angel waves a disinterested hand in front of Xander as he turns back toward Buffy and vamps out.
The first thing that Xander hears is a scream. It sounds familiar and he fights his way to consciousness. As he comes to he sees Buffy standing against a wall. Her face is bleeding. She's been hit pretty hard and by the look of it more than once. She is screaming. He has never heard her scream in fear before. She is pleading for her life. In all of their battles, he has never seen her like this.
As soon as his brain sorts all of the information out, he jumps to try to help her, but he finds that he is restrained in some way. He looks down and sees that he is handcuffed to a metal cot.
Her next scream draws his attention again. He sees her attacker. He is bending over her, laughing. "You are mine, Slayer. Don't forget it" the vampire snarls. The vampire bites into her neck as she continues to fight.
Xander can see the vampire's hands snaking up under Buffy's shirt as she struggles and cries out. He cannot stand to see this, he screams out at the vampire, "You Bastard, Stop Tormenting the Girl, if you want to pick on someone try someone your own size."
The vampire turns, Xander recognizes him immediately. It's Angel. What's happened he thinks? He isn't able to reason through it. "Angel, Angel what the hell are you doing, stop for God's sake."
Angel, in game face, laughs at him. Xander is frightened. He has faced vampires many times with Buffy but nothing has prepared him for this. Angel's demon has an intelligence in its eyes that is devastating.There is something compelling about him, as if you will lose yourself at you stare at him for too long.
Even his game face is different, still handsome in an odd way - symmetrical, frightening - his eyes - glowing gold, his teeth white and sharp. While most of the vamps he has fought have come out of the graveyards, dirty and thoughtless. This creature is dressed in expensive black loafers, faded jeans and a black silk shirt. He has survived centuries and has a demeanor that says he will survive many more.
The creature snarls at him while Buffy cowers behind him, blood dripping down her neck from the open slash in her throat. "So, our little man has woken up from his beauty rest. I would advise you to stay out of my business, boy." Angel reaches forward and backhands him.
"Angel, stop." Xander screams.
Angel laughs and morphs into his human guise. "I'm sorry. We haven't been properly introduced. I am Angelus, also known as the Scourge of Europe. Blondie over here did me the favor of breaking that pesky curse that's been troubling poor Angel all these years. I was just thanking her."
At this prompt, Buffy decides to join in. "No, Angel! I love you. Don't do this! I love you so much. Please."
Angel turn and slaps her again, "Shut up, you slut. You'll get what you deserve and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
She cries out to Xander. Her appeal for help breaks his heart. He struggles to break free and help her.
Angel has turned his face back to Buffy. All Xander can see is the hulking back of the big man. He does want to imagine what he is doing to Buffy as he hears her moan.
As Angel turns, he smiles at her and for a moment, he sees a glint of gold in her eyes. He winks at her and nuzzles his head into her neck and growls. She lets out a whimper and then a moan as he gently licks her wound clean.
She whispers in the ear closest to her mouth, "Stop it! He'll see. I'm about to laugh. Now listen, while we've got his attention make me take some of your blood and then leave us for awhile."
He growls and pushes his lips to her mouth, as he draws away he whispers, "Whatever the lady wants..."
Xander is anxious, Buffy is too quiet. He is scared that she is loosing too much blood. He has got to think of a way out of this.
Angelus draws back. He has her blood on his lips. "Buff, what am I going to do with you?" He asks in a sarcastic tone. "Don't bother answering, it's a rhetorical question." He laughs at his own jest. He backs away a bit further as if to address both Buffy and Xander.
"Now here's the plan, I am going to give Buff here, a little surprise and then I'm going to leave you children for a while." He comes closer to Xander and gestures towards the fruit on the table. "She's going to get hungry in awhile and I'm counting on you to feed her." The last comment makes no sense to Xander but he thinks, Angelus is crazy anyway.
Xander watches as Angelus nears Buffy again. She is quiet and pale as if the fight has been drained out of her. She whimpers and turns her cheek as Angelus nears as if she is readying herself to be struck again. Angelus gently takes hold of her cheek and turns her face forward, looking toward her with compassion.
"Angel?" she questions.
"No baby, not Angel, something better. Something much better" he teases. He smiles a wicked smile and she has to fight not to return it. "Just call me Daddy," he whispers as he rips his shirt open and makes a deep cut on his chest.
Xander cranes his neck to see what is passing between them. When he realizes Angeles' intention, he screams, no, over and over again. But Angel only laughs.
Xander can only watch in horror as Buffy tries to turn her head away as Angelus presses her face to his chest giving her no chance to escape taking his blood into her mouth.
The feel of Buffy's eager tongue is heaven to Angel and he turns a bit to obscure the boy's view while he closes his eyes in ecstasy. He stifles a laugh as Buffy cries out "No, Angel, No!" His little actress.
She seems to read his mind and decides to torment both he and the boy at the same time. He feels her month curve into a smile right before she cries out again. Only this time, she says, "Yes, Yes, Yes!" He decides that she has watched the diner scene in When Harry Met Sally a few too many times. She stops any pretense of struggling and slides her strong arms around his back pulling him closer.
Before he can guess what she will do next, she straddles one of his thighs and begins to rub suggestively against him. Faster, and faster she moves while drawing on his chest. His demon comes forward again and he has to raise her face to kiss her again and again. He feels her fangs graze his tongue. "Careful babe, don't let the cat out of the bag quite yet." She laughs at his warning, and continues on.
Xander is devastated, he has been unsuccessful in helping Buffy and now. Now, he must watch this. It is killing him to see her being poisoned by this demon. He always knew that her involvement with Angel would come to no good. But never did he imagine this.
To Xander's increasing horror, he can feel himself becoming aroused by the sight in front of him. He can't turn away no matter how much he wishes he could. He has wanted her for too long. He has to remind himself that this is not good, not good at all. He can see Buffy arching into Angeles at a faster and faster pace. He realizes that he has begun to move his own hips in time with hers. Somehow, they are both seducing him at this point.
Angel and Buffy both smell the human's arousal and hear the increase his heart rate and his breathing. It turns them on further and they forget about their carefully staged performance. Buffy breaks the cuff holding her to the wall and puts both of her arms around Angel. Soon her legs follow suit and she feels his hands unlacing her pants and unzipping his own as she braces herself against the wall.
Angel lifts her and impales her with one deep thrust. She screams out in pure pleasure and begins to ride him at a frantic pace. His hands cup her rear and help to steady her movements. Ultimately holding her in place while they both explode.
Xander is watching the beautiful pair - a study in contrasts - light and dark, petite and muscular, good and evil - melding into one. He is totally mesmerized. He cannot look away. He has ceased to try. When he sees them strain together one final time, both screaming out in ecstasy, he comes too. He is too exhausted by their performance to even be embarrassed. He closes his eyes as he tries to gather his thoughts.
Angel gently pulls out of Buffy and zips up his pants. Buffy slides to the floor when he releases her. He leans down and kisses her on the cheek and whispers - "one hour" before turning and walking out of the room.
The sound of the lock sliding into place is the next sound he hears. He looks up and Buffy is huddled in the floor, whimpering. She looks up and they make eye contact. She crawls the distance to his cot and says, "Quick, give me your hand, we don't know when he's coming back."
Xander holds out the hand that is chained to the bed frame and she breaks it quickly. As soon as he is free, he gathers her into his arms as he begins to speak. He wants to know how it happened that Angelus is back and how they came to be in this room. He asks where Willow is? Buffy evades answering all his questions. She is quite content to be held in his strong arms, nuzzling and sniffing his neck, feeling his heart pound.
This is good she thinks and she nuzzles even closer. He suddenly jumps a bit as if something has just occurred to him. "Oh God, Buffy, here I am going on and on, and you - you must be in shock. Here -" he says as he stands them both up long enough to wrap the blanket that has been on the cot around her thin shoulders. He then rips the pillowcase and dips a piece of cloth into the water on the table. He begins to gently wash her face.
He looks in her eyes to try to draw her out but somehow when he looks at her, he has a flashback of sorts. He is watching she and Angel together. But in his mind's eye, it is he who is driving into her unmercifully over and over. He tries to clear his head even as he feels himself becoming aroused by the picture.
He starts to feel a little desperate and he fears that he is losing her. She is so cold. He reasons that she must be in shock from the blood loss. He holds her face in his hands and looks into her eyes again. "Buffy, Buffy - you have got to hang on and help me here! What can I do - just tell me, what can I do?"
This time, Buffy takes the bait. She draws away from him and cries, her face in her hands. "Oh Xander, you just don't know, you just don't know" she sobs.
He rubs her back and tries to reassure her. "Buffy, I was here. I saw it. I saw him hurt you. I'll try to not let it happen again. Now tell me what can I do? You're freezing and your pulse is so weak I can hardly find it."
"It's too late," she says slowly. After what she considers a dramatic pause, she raises her face from her hands. He sees her vampire visage and gasps in horror, then fear and then ultimately in guilt. He doesn't know very much about the mechanics of turning someone. He thinks back to Angelus forcing Buffy to drink his blood. That must have been it.
Now he is in shock himself. She is crying harder than ever now and she flings herself back into his arms. He can do nothing but hold her. Abruptly, she draws away from him. She looks up at him and implores him to stay away from her. "Xander, I can't control the demon for long. I am so weak, so cold, so hungry. I'm scared I'm going to hurt you."
She shutters for effect, as tears fall from her eyes. "Xander, listen to me, you are going to have to kill me - check - do you have a stake in your coat? You have to kill me before I hurt you."
Looking at him, he reminds her of a deer caught in the headlights. There is no way that he can manage to do what she is asking. He has already failed her once tonight, he won't kill her a second time - no matter that she is not even herself. He has never heard a vampire beg to be killed or even seen a vamp move away from a potential victim before. Her behaviors confuse him and her tears are breaking his heart.
Angel sits in front of a screen in the room next to the one where Buffy is playing the boy like a fiddle. He is impressed by her little show but after all, she is his mate in every way. Anything less and he would be disappointed.
Xander's mind is running at about a thousand miles an hour. He figures that Willow is already dead and that as soon as Angelus returns, he will be too. With Buffy collapsed in the corner in tears, he really can't envision taking on Angelus by himself, much less winning. He reasons that if he is going to die that he rather die by her hand or by her demon than by Angelus.
Before he can lose his nerve, he calls out to her. "Buffy, I've made up my mind, I want." he stutters, "I want.I mean, it's OK if you.I would rather it be you." He takes in another deep breath, "I mean, I want you to, you can.it might give you enough strength for you to fight him. To get away."
This declaration is music to her ears, his sweet sacrifice to her demon. She can almost hear Angel laughing. She gathers up all of the vampire glamour she has and projects it outward. Where has she learned this trick? Who knows? Another gift she guesses or just plain instinct.
When Xander sees her look up from her tears, he is struck by the wild beauty that is Buffy. He feels himself drawn up into her eyes again but this time the feeling has increased one hundred- fold. He can think of nothing but surrender.
TBC
Chapter 15 - Morning
Buffy is invigorated at the thought of having Xander at her mercy. As she thinks the possibilities, she sits down beside him on the cot and gently strokes his hair back from his face. He feels so warm and smells like that new baby smell in a way - a good way. She remembers dancing with him last night at the Bronze about how he became more aggressive and forceful as he danced with her. She liked the feel of him and adoration in his eyes.
Her eyes wonder to where her lover is leaning against the wall looking at her. She wonders at his comfort with letting her have Xander. He seems to read her thoughts, "Buff, it's OK, really. We are one. We share everything. Your pleasure is mine and mine is yours. Any power you absorb flows to me. I can't begrudge you a little fun anymore than I can myself."
Suddenly his eyes turn gold, "That's it though, we have Willow and we will have Xander. They are family, nothing, and I mean nothing is off limits with them. But that's as far as it goes, understand me, everything, everything you've got, everything you are stays inside this family. Do you understand?"
She nods, she understands. Until she was turned she had never thought about the possibility of cheating on Angel but from what she understands being with Xander or even Willow will not be considered cheating. They are essentially extensions of themselves, for pleasure, for companionship, for protection, for whatever the need might be. The more she thinks about it the more sense it makes to her. She reasons that it is really the same as always - with different rules.
"So what'll it be?" Angel asks as he tires of waiting.
"Well, since, I know in the end that he'll be OK, that he'll be with us. I feel better about playing with him a little."
"Playing?" Angel questions.
Buffy wrinkles her nose, "Can you think of a better term?"
"No, it's definitely in the recreational category."
"I think I would like to give him a little scare, if it's OK with you." She says tentatively.
He smiles at whatever she has in mind, "Oh, I'm game."
She takes a deep breath and grins. She walks over to the wall and rips the neck of her tee shirt. She then takes her delicate wrist and places it in one of the shackles hanging off of the wall. She smiles wickedly at him and gestures for him to come to her. She has his attention now. He's always been a sucker for drama.
"OK, first I want you to hit me. Hit me hard on the face so he'll be able to see the bruise."
Angel smiles, she can see his fangs. "My lady likes it rough." He says teasingly. He makes a fist and punches her hard. He doesn't hold back. She needs to learn that with Angelus, you get what you ask for. The back of her head hits the wall and she feels her eye beginning to swell already. He can tell that she's a little shaken. He is interested in what she's going to do next.
"OK, now wake him up and as soon as he's alert, vamp out and bite me. Don't let on that I'm not - you know - alive and well. Play it up as big as you want. Then just follow my lead. Like you said, we'll see where it goes from there."
Angel waves a disinterested hand in front of Xander as he turns back toward Buffy and vamps out.
The first thing that Xander hears is a scream. It sounds familiar and he fights his way to consciousness. As he comes to he sees Buffy standing against a wall. Her face is bleeding. She's been hit pretty hard and by the look of it more than once. She is screaming. He has never heard her scream in fear before. She is pleading for her life. In all of their battles, he has never seen her like this.
As soon as his brain sorts all of the information out, he jumps to try to help her, but he finds that he is restrained in some way. He looks down and sees that he is handcuffed to a metal cot.
Her next scream draws his attention again. He sees her attacker. He is bending over her, laughing. "You are mine, Slayer. Don't forget it" the vampire snarls. The vampire bites into her neck as she continues to fight.
Xander can see the vampire's hands snaking up under Buffy's shirt as she struggles and cries out. He cannot stand to see this, he screams out at the vampire, "You Bastard, Stop Tormenting the Girl, if you want to pick on someone try someone your own size."
The vampire turns, Xander recognizes him immediately. It's Angel. What's happened he thinks? He isn't able to reason through it. "Angel, Angel what the hell are you doing, stop for God's sake."
Angel, in game face, laughs at him. Xander is frightened. He has faced vampires many times with Buffy but nothing has prepared him for this. Angel's demon has an intelligence in its eyes that is devastating.There is something compelling about him, as if you will lose yourself at you stare at him for too long.
Even his game face is different, still handsome in an odd way - symmetrical, frightening - his eyes - glowing gold, his teeth white and sharp. While most of the vamps he has fought have come out of the graveyards, dirty and thoughtless. This creature is dressed in expensive black loafers, faded jeans and a black silk shirt. He has survived centuries and has a demeanor that says he will survive many more.
The creature snarls at him while Buffy cowers behind him, blood dripping down her neck from the open slash in her throat. "So, our little man has woken up from his beauty rest. I would advise you to stay out of my business, boy." Angel reaches forward and backhands him.
"Angel, stop." Xander screams.
Angel laughs and morphs into his human guise. "I'm sorry. We haven't been properly introduced. I am Angelus, also known as the Scourge of Europe. Blondie over here did me the favor of breaking that pesky curse that's been troubling poor Angel all these years. I was just thanking her."
At this prompt, Buffy decides to join in. "No, Angel! I love you. Don't do this! I love you so much. Please."
Angel turn and slaps her again, "Shut up, you slut. You'll get what you deserve and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
She cries out to Xander. Her appeal for help breaks his heart. He struggles to break free and help her.
Angel has turned his face back to Buffy. All Xander can see is the hulking back of the big man. He does want to imagine what he is doing to Buffy as he hears her moan.
As Angel turns, he smiles at her and for a moment, he sees a glint of gold in her eyes. He winks at her and nuzzles his head into her neck and growls. She lets out a whimper and then a moan as he gently licks her wound clean.
She whispers in the ear closest to her mouth, "Stop it! He'll see. I'm about to laugh. Now listen, while we've got his attention make me take some of your blood and then leave us for awhile."
He growls and pushes his lips to her mouth, as he draws away he whispers, "Whatever the lady wants..."
Xander is anxious, Buffy is too quiet. He is scared that she is loosing too much blood. He has got to think of a way out of this.
Angelus draws back. He has her blood on his lips. "Buff, what am I going to do with you?" He asks in a sarcastic tone. "Don't bother answering, it's a rhetorical question." He laughs at his own jest. He backs away a bit further as if to address both Buffy and Xander.
"Now here's the plan, I am going to give Buff here, a little surprise and then I'm going to leave you children for a while." He comes closer to Xander and gestures towards the fruit on the table. "She's going to get hungry in awhile and I'm counting on you to feed her." The last comment makes no sense to Xander but he thinks, Angelus is crazy anyway.
Xander watches as Angelus nears Buffy again. She is quiet and pale as if the fight has been drained out of her. She whimpers and turns her cheek as Angelus nears as if she is readying herself to be struck again. Angelus gently takes hold of her cheek and turns her face forward, looking toward her with compassion.
"Angel?" she questions.
"No baby, not Angel, something better. Something much better" he teases. He smiles a wicked smile and she has to fight not to return it. "Just call me Daddy," he whispers as he rips his shirt open and makes a deep cut on his chest.
Xander cranes his neck to see what is passing between them. When he realizes Angeles' intention, he screams, no, over and over again. But Angel only laughs.
Xander can only watch in horror as Buffy tries to turn her head away as Angelus presses her face to his chest giving her no chance to escape taking his blood into her mouth.
The feel of Buffy's eager tongue is heaven to Angel and he turns a bit to obscure the boy's view while he closes his eyes in ecstasy. He stifles a laugh as Buffy cries out "No, Angel, No!" His little actress.
She seems to read his mind and decides to torment both he and the boy at the same time. He feels her month curve into a smile right before she cries out again. Only this time, she says, "Yes, Yes, Yes!" He decides that she has watched the diner scene in When Harry Met Sally a few too many times. She stops any pretense of struggling and slides her strong arms around his back pulling him closer.
Before he can guess what she will do next, she straddles one of his thighs and begins to rub suggestively against him. Faster, and faster she moves while drawing on his chest. His demon comes forward again and he has to raise her face to kiss her again and again. He feels her fangs graze his tongue. "Careful babe, don't let the cat out of the bag quite yet." She laughs at his warning, and continues on.
Xander is devastated, he has been unsuccessful in helping Buffy and now. Now, he must watch this. It is killing him to see her being poisoned by this demon. He always knew that her involvement with Angel would come to no good. But never did he imagine this.
To Xander's increasing horror, he can feel himself becoming aroused by the sight in front of him. He can't turn away no matter how much he wishes he could. He has wanted her for too long. He has to remind himself that this is not good, not good at all. He can see Buffy arching into Angeles at a faster and faster pace. He realizes that he has begun to move his own hips in time with hers. Somehow, they are both seducing him at this point.
Angel and Buffy both smell the human's arousal and hear the increase his heart rate and his breathing. It turns them on further and they forget about their carefully staged performance. Buffy breaks the cuff holding her to the wall and puts both of her arms around Angel. Soon her legs follow suit and she feels his hands unlacing her pants and unzipping his own as she braces herself against the wall.
Angel lifts her and impales her with one deep thrust. She screams out in pure pleasure and begins to ride him at a frantic pace. His hands cup her rear and help to steady her movements. Ultimately holding her in place while they both explode.
Xander is watching the beautiful pair - a study in contrasts - light and dark, petite and muscular, good and evil - melding into one. He is totally mesmerized. He cannot look away. He has ceased to try. When he sees them strain together one final time, both screaming out in ecstasy, he comes too. He is too exhausted by their performance to even be embarrassed. He closes his eyes as he tries to gather his thoughts.
Angel gently pulls out of Buffy and zips up his pants. Buffy slides to the floor when he releases her. He leans down and kisses her on the cheek and whispers - "one hour" before turning and walking out of the room.
The sound of the lock sliding into place is the next sound he hears. He looks up and Buffy is huddled in the floor, whimpering. She looks up and they make eye contact. She crawls the distance to his cot and says, "Quick, give me your hand, we don't know when he's coming back."
Xander holds out the hand that is chained to the bed frame and she breaks it quickly. As soon as he is free, he gathers her into his arms as he begins to speak. He wants to know how it happened that Angelus is back and how they came to be in this room. He asks where Willow is? Buffy evades answering all his questions. She is quite content to be held in his strong arms, nuzzling and sniffing his neck, feeling his heart pound.
This is good she thinks and she nuzzles even closer. He suddenly jumps a bit as if something has just occurred to him. "Oh God, Buffy, here I am going on and on, and you - you must be in shock. Here -" he says as he stands them both up long enough to wrap the blanket that has been on the cot around her thin shoulders. He then rips the pillowcase and dips a piece of cloth into the water on the table. He begins to gently wash her face.
He looks in her eyes to try to draw her out but somehow when he looks at her, he has a flashback of sorts. He is watching she and Angel together. But in his mind's eye, it is he who is driving into her unmercifully over and over. He tries to clear his head even as he feels himself becoming aroused by the picture.
He starts to feel a little desperate and he fears that he is losing her. She is so cold. He reasons that she must be in shock from the blood loss. He holds her face in his hands and looks into her eyes again. "Buffy, Buffy - you have got to hang on and help me here! What can I do - just tell me, what can I do?"
This time, Buffy takes the bait. She draws away from him and cries, her face in her hands. "Oh Xander, you just don't know, you just don't know" she sobs.
He rubs her back and tries to reassure her. "Buffy, I was here. I saw it. I saw him hurt you. I'll try to not let it happen again. Now tell me what can I do? You're freezing and your pulse is so weak I can hardly find it."
"It's too late," she says slowly. After what she considers a dramatic pause, she raises her face from her hands. He sees her vampire visage and gasps in horror, then fear and then ultimately in guilt. He doesn't know very much about the mechanics of turning someone. He thinks back to Angelus forcing Buffy to drink his blood. That must have been it.
Now he is in shock himself. She is crying harder than ever now and she flings herself back into his arms. He can do nothing but hold her. Abruptly, she draws away from him. She looks up at him and implores him to stay away from her. "Xander, I can't control the demon for long. I am so weak, so cold, so hungry. I'm scared I'm going to hurt you."
She shutters for effect, as tears fall from her eyes. "Xander, listen to me, you are going to have to kill me - check - do you have a stake in your coat? You have to kill me before I hurt you."
Looking at him, he reminds her of a deer caught in the headlights. There is no way that he can manage to do what she is asking. He has already failed her once tonight, he won't kill her a second time - no matter that she is not even herself. He has never heard a vampire beg to be killed or even seen a vamp move away from a potential victim before. Her behaviors confuse him and her tears are breaking his heart.
Angel sits in front of a screen in the room next to the one where Buffy is playing the boy like a fiddle. He is impressed by her little show but after all, she is his mate in every way. Anything less and he would be disappointed.
Xander's mind is running at about a thousand miles an hour. He figures that Willow is already dead and that as soon as Angelus returns, he will be too. With Buffy collapsed in the corner in tears, he really can't envision taking on Angelus by himself, much less winning. He reasons that if he is going to die that he rather die by her hand or by her demon than by Angelus.
Before he can lose his nerve, he calls out to her. "Buffy, I've made up my mind, I want." he stutters, "I want.I mean, it's OK if you.I would rather it be you." He takes in another deep breath, "I mean, I want you to, you can.it might give you enough strength for you to fight him. To get away."
This declaration is music to her ears, his sweet sacrifice to her demon. She can almost hear Angel laughing. She gathers up all of the vampire glamour she has and projects it outward. Where has she learned this trick? Who knows? Another gift she guesses or just plain instinct.
When Xander sees her look up from her tears, he is struck by the wild beauty that is Buffy. He feels himself drawn up into her eyes again but this time the feeling has increased one hundred- fold. He can think of nothing but surrender.
TBC
