I loved Florida. It was warm, it was sunny, and it was full of strangers. The attraction of strangers should never be under-rated. A state full of people who didn't know me? That was the ultimate attraction. Once I got there, I even broke up with Captain Jack. I still feel kind of guilty about that, but I think he understood that I needed to be free from my family before I could make any decisions.

My family. I know they love me. At least, I'm pretty sure they love me. I just noticed, as time went on that they didn't want me. At least, not the way I was. Not that I blame them. I didn't want me the way I was. But I didn't have a choice and so I got out. Yeah, running away is childish and all, but what can you do? And you can't look at my little sister who's marrying a guy she met while tormenting security at the airport and say she's adult.

Adult. I'm never going to be adult enough for them. Do normal people send 18 year olds to live with scary grandfathers because they refuse to get their lives on track? I didn't think so. And then I got there and I realized that I didn't want to be what they wanted me to be. And so I had to make a break for it. Fire fighter, policeman, none of those worked out. So I made one last ditch effort-flight attendant. I didn't and don't want to be a flight attendant. Who does? But I had to get OUT. So I did it. And there I met Captain Jack and a real plan formed in my mind. A plan that would work.

If they thought I loved him, really, truly loved a man twice my age, they would get mad at me. And then I would have a reason to leave under my own power. And more importantly, I would have a reason to never come back.

Except that last part backfired.

But only a little.

I was free, for the first time in my life. And it was scary. It was just like drinking wine (which I did, once) a very heady wine that never wore off. And I didn't like it. At least not at first, but then I did like it and that scared me even more. So I started calling home. Just to talk to Dad, just for one more reassurance that I could do it if I wanted to.

But then I got Lucy, and Lucy needed me. I remembered that I was her big sister, and I hadn't been much of one before-so I went back. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have done that. But you do what you have to do, especially when it's family. Even if your family hates you, and probably wouldn't mind if you conveniently dropped off the face of the planet. So I talked to Lucy.

And what she'd done was worse than anything I'd done. Pregnant? My baby sister pregnant? And in school. At least I'd never done anything that dumb. I'd only gotten myself in trouble, not someone new little life too. Okay, so I got close to it one time, but I never really did it. And look, I got myself out of my mess. So I'll have to deal with it a little longer, but I did.

And that's right! I did get myself out of my mess. I can handle this freedom stuff! Why did I come back? Because I told Lucy I did something stupid. And I did do something stupid, but it wasn't what I thought it was. I came back.

And that was the stupidest thing of all.