Okay. This is hit #3, "Only the Slow Die Young" to the tune of "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel.

* * *

Come on, have mercy, let's go now Twoflower,

We've walked through this city for nearly an hour,

The looks I'm getting are becoming sour:

I'm thinking that we should run.

Uh oh, they're coming; they've got spears and knives,

I think around now we should run for our lives,

And now I believe it is safe to surmise:

Our touristing days are done.

Only the slow DIE YOUNG, Only the slow die young.



Here is a shed, let's bolt inside,

(There is a science in just where to hide)

Now aren't you glad you've got me as a guide;

So what if we're standing in dung.

Oh good they've passed us, I prayed that they would,

Now just look natural, okay that's good,

Yeah, I'd wipe my shoes off too if I could;

But I never said this'd be fun.

And only the slow DIE YOUNG, only the slow die young.



We've got a five-minute head start and we've almost got past the villas!

If you don't slow,

Then I know where to go,

And if we hide in the woods then I don't think they can find or kill us!



I can't figure out why they want us both dead,

Was it something you or I said?

But they can't catch us now; we're too far ahead

And thank the gods that is done.

And only the slow DIE YOUNG, only the slow die young.



Yes I'm glad that's over and I wonder what we'll do for dinner

You remembered? Oh great! Oh,

I wouldn't suppose that we have potatoes?