A/N: Generally, these things are either sung by Rincewind or by, presumably, some random person. This one, however, is split up into the parts of Twoflower, Pretty Butterfly, and Lotus Blossom. The tune is one of my favorites: "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" from the South Park movie. I haven't seen the movie, but I love this song.

TWOFLOWER: What would the Great Wizard do?

If he was here with us?

He'd make a spell and win the war,

That's what the Great Wizard's for.

BUTTERFLY: When a Sourceror was in Ankh,

And caused a giant row,

Rincewind made him go away,

Though I'm not sure just how.

LOTUS BLOSSOM: When they almost threw him off the Rim,

While he was in Krull,

He beat their army to a pulp;

He was so powerful.

ALL: What would the Great Wizard do?

If he was here with us?

He'd make a spell and win the war,

That's what the Great Wizard's for.

BUTTERFLY: I want a glorious victory;

Because I am in charge of the Red Army.

LOTUS BLOSSUM: I just want Lord Hong

To stop killing everyone.

TWOFLOWRER: Wouldn't we stand up for justice too,

Cause that's what the Great Wizard would do.

ALL: What would the Great Wizard do?

If he was here with us?

He'd make a spell and win the war,

That's what the Great Wizard's for.

ALL: When the Great Wizard wins this war,

And sets our country straight,

The evil houses will be gone,

From the government of the state!

LOTUS BLOSSOM:

When the Great Wizard invented Klatch,

He talked to A'Tu-In

ALL [SLOWLY]: Cause the Great Wizard doesn't make sense to An-Y-Bod-Y.

ALL: So let's go off together,

And unite to stop Lord Hong,

And we'll help Genghiz Cohen too,

Cause that's what the Great Wizard would do.

And we'll help Genghiz Cohen too,

Cause that's what the Great Wizard would do.

Cause that's what the Great Wizard would do!