Greetings all! More mayhem and insanity have befallen us! With Defiance coming soon, I'm so hyped about LoK that I wrote a song. Here it is!

Legacy of Kain is coming, Defiance is on its way! Er.Um.. Something something something, Defiance is on its way!

Wnut: Ganon, give it a rest.

Me: Can I sing it in Al Bhed?

Wnut: No.

Me: Awwwwwwww.okay then! Well, at least I can write this chapter! This one has a guest appearance by none other than the greatest LoK humor author of all time, Popeland!

Wnut: Right! And remember we don't own LoK, Popeland, LEGO's, or anything of the sort.

Ganon: I own your soul and that's about it. So without further adue, I present to you:

Legacy of Ganon: Nut Reaver Chapter III

And so, having defeated Melchiah, Wingnut walks out of his lair feeling all proud of herself. She makes it to the Sanctuary of the Clans.

Wingnut: I love my new Quarter Slot ability!

EG: For the last time Wingnut, you can walk through gates!!!!!

Wingnut: Lemmie try! *tries to walk through gate, but knocks herself out when she hits it*

EG: How can one being be so stupid?!?!

Wnut: (in Spectral Realm) Wow...that smarts!!!! Hey cool! Another Quarter Slot!

EG: Why do I even bother?

Wingnut: Cause Im supplying you with the food you need!

EG: Shhhhhhhh! You're not supposed to know that!

Wingnut: Oh.

And so, Wingnut forgets about it. She prances her merry way to a portal, and then shifts to Material. She comes across two Dumahim..

Dumahim 1: Hey! Theres an intruder over there! Get her!

Dumahim 2: Hey! It's Auntie Wingnut! She owes us some money for all the times we mowed her lawn!

Wingnut: You didn't mow the lawn! Someone else did!

D1: Who?

Wnut: Hmmmm...

Flashback to when Sarafan Commander Popeland and his group of Sarafan dudes are about to attack Wingnut's palace.

Popeland: Men, ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!

Men: Who?

Popeland: Um...I dunno! Just hack away at anything!

Men: *start cutting down grass*

Popeland: Good job troops! Now lets go home!

Flashback ends.

Wingnut: Ah, those were the good ole days.

D1&2: 0_o

Wingnut: And then I remember the time..

Flashback to when Ganon is talking to Wingnut and the others.

Ganon: Now, we have a Sarafan Menace on our hands. Well, Im not a vampire, but you all are! Dismissed!

Dumah: Um...what?

Wnut: Say what now?

Rahab: That made no sense!

Melchiah: Shouldn't we kill them?

Ganon: The Sarafan can die on their own time, now you all are dismissed!

Turel: But Ganon, The Sarafan will kill us all if we don't wipe them out!

Ganon: Oh if you insist.kill them if you want..but be back before bedtime!

Flashback ends.

Wnut: Ah, what a glorious victory!

Dumahim 1&2: This is boring..

Wingnut: And then there was that time when.

D1&2: AAAAAAH! WE CANT STAND IT!!!!! *jump into water*

Wnut: Whats their problem?

Wingnut walks along, singing 'Don't Stop Believing' by Journey. She stops occasionally to jam on her air guitar.

Wnut: Workin' hard to get my fill. Everybody wants a thrill! Payin anything to roll the dice, Just one more time..

EG: Rock on! *sings along, causing Wingnut to throw her hands over her ears*

Wnut: AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!

EG: Okay.(sniffle)..if that's how you feel.

Wingnut finally makes it to Ganon's Chamber, where she finds Ganon playing with LEGOs.

Ganon: *puts Legos down* Wingnut.

Wingnut: Daddy! Daddy I missed you so much!

Ganon: What? Youre not mad at me?

Wingnut: Nope! Why would I be?

Ganon: Cause I killed you and threw you into the Abyss?

Wnut: Oh yeah...Wheres my clan?

Ganon: On a Jamaican Cruise! (Confetti falls)

Wingnut: And I wasn't invited? (tear comes to eye) Darn you Ganon! Youre performing the ultimate evil: SELF-INSERTATIONS!!!!!

Ganon: Huh?

Wnut: Youre the Author! You cant be a character in the story! You are not God!

Ganon: Wanna bet! *builds Lego town* GAHAHAHAHA! I own all you LEGO people!!!! Bow before me!

Lego People: (bow)

Wingnut: How'd you do that?

Ganon: With my almighty (boomy voice) Author Power!!! (echo)

Wingnut: This act of Self-Insertation is unconscionable!

Ganon: Conscience? You dare speak to me of conscience!?! Only when you have had the full gravity of choice upon your shoulders of what Legos to use can you question my judgment!

Full Gravity of Choice: Yeah! What he said!

Ganon: Can you even begin to conceive what you would do in MY position?

Wingnut: I would choose the red roof on that house right next to the store, Ganon!

Ganon: *looks it over* Ya know, that might have been a better choice.

Wingnut: Ha! I win!

Ganon: *kicks Lego town, sending pieces flying* That town outlasted it's usefulness..as have you.

Wingnut: I was never useful to begin with!

Ganon: DIIIE!!!!!

Ganon draws the Nut Reaver. It looks like the Soul Reaver, only with a giant metal peanut where the skull should be.

Wnut VO: The Nut Reaver, Ganon's ancient blade. Older than any of us and a few million times more corny. We knew what it meant when he drew the sword. It meant you were dead, he needed to scratch his back, or he was out of toothpicks.

Ganon quickly rushed to get Wingnut, but he accidentally stepped on a LEGO!!!!!!

Ganon: OOOOOOOH OOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!! *Reaver goes flying, Ganon clutches foot*

Wingnut: I got it! *misses Reaver, Reaver lands on her and explodes* OW!!!!

Ganon: The blade is..ouch! That must have hurt! Ha Ha! I win! Oh yeah, and were closer to our destinies, even though there's still 2 and maybe more games til its all over! Now, wheres that Band-Aid..*hops off to heal injured foot*

In Spectral,

Wnut: What is it? (looking at Reaver)

EG: The Nut Reaver. Now go poke it.

Wnut: Nah, Im gonna get my hands on something more useful. Maybe like an AK- 47 or something..

Somewhere, in the past, Moe is watching through a cauldron.

Moe: Well, there go all my plans.

Back in the present, a tentacle flies from no-where and pushes Wnut at the Wraith Nut, causing it to wrap around Wnut's arm.

Wnut: AAAAAAAH! MARTIANS ARE INVADING MY HAND!!!!!!!!!

EG: Now you are both inexplicably bound, Nut Reaver, and Reaver of Nuts. Ewwwww, that sounds so wrong! Who's writing this anyway?

All: *Point at Ganon*

Ganon: Don't look at me! *hides computer*

EG: Whatever. Now..

Wingnut: THEY HAVE COME TO DESTROY MY FINGERS!!!!!

EG: Wingnut! There are no Martians in your hands!!!

Wingnut: OH NO, IT'S THE HYLDEN!!!!!!!!!!!

EG: I give up.

Ariel: (appears) What are you little soul? Come to taunt this bound specter?

Wingnut: Nya nya! *sticks out tongue*

Ariel: GANON! She cant stick out her tounge! She has no mouth!!!!!

Wingnut: (tounge disappears) Awwww.

Ariel: I give up too!!!!

Wingnut goes away, and finds a Quarter Slot. She is, however, out out of Quarters!!!! So Wingnut goes back to Ariel.

Wnut: Ariel! I'll shine your skull for a Quarter!

Ariel: Kay!

So Wnut gets a Quarter. She then goes on her merry way, unknowingly skipping to Zephon's Citadel.

So how was it? Free Voradoor Plushies to all who Review!!!!!! Til next Chapter, Cya! Now where did I put that Lego Dragon?