Title: Decisions Author: Orilon Rating: PG-13 for two bad words Pairing: Spike/Xander Spoilers: none Distribution: If you want it, take it and let me know where. Disclaimer: Everything from Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I came up the idea of Nevel Falcons before I started writing Buffy stories. Summary: Xander is forced to make a decision. Feedback: Please.



I hate when decisions are forced on me, but that is what happened. I have to decide between staying with my sire and leaving to fight evil like other Nevel Falcons. I don't want to leave my sire, I love him too much.

He reassures me that he won't leave, but is afraid that I will leave him. He's equated having a soul with leaving because his sire left when he got his soul. Seems we both have problems with people walking out on us. Saying they love us but not actually meaning it.

Another Nevel Falcon has come to town to train me, but I have to stake my sire first. Those are the rules, or so I am told. Nevels stake their vampire sires and find an older Nevel to train them how to fight and use their other abilities against evil. She came to train me, but is requiring that I stake my sire. She keeps pestering me every time I see her to take the first step.

I'm tired of trying to do the right thing all the time. It has gotten me nothing but injuries and heartache. The supposed good guys are self- righteous bastards. I'm sick and tired of my "friends" treating me like shit and lying to me and making decisions for me. Spike never lied to me; he laid everything on the table and let me make my own decisions.

I'm not leaving and I'm not staking my sire. I'm staying with him and if they don't like it, tough. I'm tired of the fight for good; getting burned out the several years that I helped. I let him turn me because I don't care anymore. No one cares for me but Spike. The Nevels want me to do this because it's my duty, not because they care about me.

I've had enough of duty, of supposed to. Just doing something because it's the "right" thing.