Disclaimer: *groans* I don't own anything. Do you hear me? ANYTHING! I do not own ANYTHING *sobs*! Peyton, Taryn, and Carolina belong to themselves. James, Lily, and Co. belong to the Greatest Author Known to Man. I might own the plot, but I'm not sure, so DON'T SUE! I'M FLAT BROKE ANYWAYS!

Chapter Five: Of Flying, House Elves, and Pranks

Sirius and James stood gaping at the doorway where Malfoy had disappeared. McGonagall had just told everyone to get to their classes, but the boys were frozen in shock. James realized that the hall was emptying first and jabbed Sirius in the gut.

"What the bloody hell was that for?" he gasped, clutching his side.

"We have Flying Lessons in three minutes. Let's go already you great lump!" James trotted off down the hall, followed by a wheezing Sirius, who was muttering to himself.

"Sharp elbows…evil Lucius…Slytherin…greasy hair...little bastard…must die…" Had anyone overheard Sirius, it would have seemed like gibberish, but to the spontaneous mastermind, it was the key to unlocking the door to revenge. By the time he had caught up with James a completely evil plan had formed in his mind. By the time they reached the Quidditch pitch he could tell you exactly what he needed, who was going to help him, and how each prank was going to work. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he barely noticed, nor did he care that they lost five points from Gryffindor for being late.

"Now that Potter and Black have been so kind as to grace us with their presence," said the skinny young witch with a sharp glance in their direction, "we had better get started. Step up to your broom, place your hand over the handle, and say UP!" Sirius managed to get the broom to leap into his hands on his first try. Only James, Carolina, and an Oriental looking Ravenclaw boy enjoyed that same success. Lily's broom had only moved a twig, the girl with the blue hair had gotten her broom to hover an inch above the ground, and the other girl in Carolina's year-Peyton, was it?-was too busy chatting with a stick of a Ravenclaw girl to even take interest in their lesson. As soon as everyone had gotten their brooms off the ground (manually, in some cases) Madame Hooch (for that was what the teacher's name was) let then take to the air. Well, take to the air two feet above the ground. For Sirius this was a big let down.

"Oy, this is pathetic. I've gone so high I almost hit a bloody helicopter…what kind of rubbish is this? Flying lessons…pah!" James grinned as Sirius rambled on about how hovering was nonsense, and how they were never going to make the house team if they don't get to fly properly. Carolina seemed to be an old pro at this as well, Sirius noticed as he continued to babble. His frizzy-haired friend was doing circles (quite literally) around the terrified Lily. That girl they had accidentally given a dose of blue hair seemed relaxed, but her white knuckles gave away her feelings about flight. The Oriental Ravenclaw was simply hovering, using both hands to hide a ginormus yawn. Sirius grinned at the boy, and then turned back to James.

James had followed Sirius's gaze. "That boy's a transfer student from the wizarding school in China…Hinakai Academy; I think…they're supposed to have rad Quidditch players there. Half of the Appleby Arrows players last year were from China. Or was it Japan?" Sirius gave his friend a smile as they settled back to the ground. James was the biggest Quidditch geek he knew. But they were best friends and best friends are supposed to put up with that sort of crap. Remus sat with them during lunch while Sirius explained his master prank. James choked on his sweet potato when he heard the final result, and Remus snorted into his pumpkin juice. The rest of the day proved entirely uneventful, unless you count Peter accidentally feeding the Venomous Tentacula a bit of his right index finger.

In the common room that night, while playing chess with Remus, Sirius asked James if he thought they could use a partner in crime.

"Who d'you have in mind?" James asked suspiciously. Sirius knew that he wasn't terribly fond of asking for help, and he defiantly would not care for his next suggestion.

"Well," he began. "Seeing as how they are really good at this type of stuff, and seem to have experience..." Sirius stopped when he saw the look on James's face.

"You can't be serious!" exclaimed James.

"Well, actually, I can give you loads of proof that I really am Sirius. Remember this scar?" Sirius pulled up the sleeve on his robes to show a long jagged scar running from his shoulder to his wrist. "I got it when I first discovered that you need a broom to fly. And remember-" Sirius stopped seeing the look on James's face. "Fine, I'll be shutting up right about now."

"As I was trying to say: You can't really want to go crawling to those girls for help? I mean come on! That's like saying we can't do it by ourselves. That's like saying that they're better than us! I'm not going to ask them for help."

"Fine. You don't have to ask them for help. I will." Sirius got up from the table and approached Lily and Carolina, who were working on their Levitation Charms homework.

"Hey," Lily greeted him as he sat down at their table. "What's up?" Sirius quickly explained the prank, leaving out the fact that James didn't want their help. When he finished, Lily and Carolina readily agreed.

That night, long after the common room had emptied, James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and Carolina clambered out the portrait hole and carefully sneaked down three flights of stairs. They ended up in front of a large painting of a bowl of fruit. Sirius reached forward and tickled the giant pear until it turned into a doorknob so they could walk into the Hogwarts kitchens. Sirius smiled as he saw Lily's jaw drop. He had to admit, it was an amazing sight. Loads of tiny green creatures, known as House Elves, were running about, placing breakfast on large gold platters.

"What can we do for Sirs and Misses?" inquired a squeaky voice at his feet. Sirius smiled down at the little elf.

"Well, my friends and me were feeling a tad hungry, and we thought we could come down here for some food. You wouldn't happen to have any banana cream pie by any chance, would you?" The house elf bowed so low that it long nose almost touched the neatly swept floor, and then scampered off. Sirius nodded to James, who grabbed Carolina and Lily's elbows and dragged them off to the duplicate of the Slytherin table. They had worked out this part of the plan earlier that night. Sirius and Remus would distract the House Elves, while James and the girls placed some complicated spells on the plates and food given to the Slytherins. Ten minutes and six pieces of pie later, the five left the kitchens and escaped back to their beds, to await the joys of tomorrow.

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Sirius woke up extra early the next morning, barely able to contain his excitement. Sirius thrived off humiliation. Not his own humiliation, of course, but the humiliation of others. It gave him a certain thrill to pull a job like this and see the results. After restraining himself for three minutes (a new personal record) Sirius pounced on James while chucking a pillow at Remus. James was used to this sort of torture and simply rolled over mumbling something like 'why me? Dear God, why me?' while Remus grabbed the pillow and threw it back so hard that he knocked the unsuspecting Sirius off James's bed.

"Oy, what was that for?" cried Sirius, with an innocent look that had taken him eight years to perfect.

"Shut it, you load of old dung," Remus replied. "You jolly well know what you did so sod off."

"I can see you're not a morning person Remie, darling," chortled James as he gave in to his hyper best friend, and got up. "Wassa matter? Up a little too late last night?" Remus glared at him as James tried in vain to make his hair lie somewhat flat.

"Call me 'Remie' again, and die, Pot-head!" Sirius shook his head, laughing. His plan had worked, well, as planned. Now both of them were awake, and they had managed to forget that they were pissed off at him.

"I'm good!" Sirius thought to himself as he fell over while trying to get his leg into his pants. Ten minutes later Peter was still asleep, and his three dorm mates were on their way down to the Great Hall for what should prove to be an interesting breakfast.

When they arrived, the boys discovered that the girls had already eaten and Lily was busy writing stuff on a piece of parchment, while Carolina gulped down a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Do they serve this stuff with every meal?" Carolina asked as the boys sat down beside them. "I mean pumpkin juice is great stuff, but I think I'm going to get sick of it sooner or later." The five of them made polite conversation (while trying to look innocent) for a while, discussing flying lessons, and that big project that Professor McGonagall had assigned. Remus and Lily were working together, and were already half finished, but Sirius and Carolina hadn't even started. James didn't even have a partner yet. Lily snorted when she heard that bit of news.

"I don't think Taryn has a partner yet either, if you're still looking," she suggested. From the look on James face he was just as confused as Sirius. "Taryn. You know, that girl whose hair you fellows dyed blue. She still doesn't have a partner for the project, though I doubt she would enjoy working with you. How long till her hair returns to normal?"

Sirius smiled. "It should be wearing off today. When James makes a potion, it's built to last."

"Too bad they didn't get the right person, though. You would've looked great with blue hair, Lily." Remus smiled, and ducked Lily's slap.

"Ahem!" Carolina cleared her throat. "In case you morons haven't noticed, the Slytherin table is almost full, so if they may have your attention please…" They all grinned at one another; James even smiled at Lily, but stopped immediately when he realized his mistake, and they glanced nonchalantly at the table full of Slytherins. Their grins widened as the spells began to take effect. James had placed a timed transfiguration on the scrambled eggs, which turned into slugs, Lily had made it so that the biscuits would turn everything they touched scarlet or gold (a handy spell from Charming Charms), and Carolina had exchanged the pumpkin juice for orange slime. She had also put a handy Slipping Charm on the plates so that whoever picked them up had a sudden clumsy attack and found themselves covered in food. Chaos broke out at the Slytherin table. The most note worthy parts were that Lucius, Crabbe, and Goyle had Gryffindor colored hands, Snape had chugged half a goblet of slime, and the entire table was covered in slugs.

There was silence for a minute while everyone was in shock. Then the hall erupted into cheers (the Slytherins weren't very popular) and laughter. The five mad pranksters were laughing along with the rest as they swiftly exited the scene of the crime. They quintet calmly made their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts, flushed and pleased at how well their prank had been received by the school. Lily commented, "Did you see? Even Dumbledore was laughing! I think he almost choked on his biscuit! Professor Centia didn't seem quite so amused though. Revenge is sweet, isn't it?" Everyone nodded their assent as they sat down. Sirius was confused when Remus didn't sit with them. He raised his eyebrows.

"What? I like the view over here better," Remus explained, indicating the wall behind him. It was the far wall, furthest away from the muggle guns. Sirius shrugged. Let him keep his secrets, he thought, and moved to sit by him. Remus had turned into a good friend, and Sirius decided that he wasn't one to cross. He throws a hard pillow, though. When the rest of the class entered the room, they were still laughing.

"Did you see Malfoy? The little prig had a slug in his hair, and didn't even notice!" This caused another round of laughter.

"Yeah, like the git needs any more slime in his hair than is there already!" Sirius joined in. As long as he had an enemy, he would make the most of it!           

(A/N) Hey once again to all you wonderful, wonderful readers out there! Sorry about the Sirius/Serious gag. I know its dead and buried, but I couldn't resist. I also want to comment on something I forgot to comment on in Chapter Two. You nay have noticed that I took special care to state that the Sorting Hat had no hesitation about placing James in Gryffindor. That's because HE IS A TRUE BLUE GRYFFINDOR! Harry only had issues with that because Voldie dear (the Heir of Slytherin) had accidentally transferred some of his powers to Harry. I hate is when people say that James was almost a Slytherin or whatever. No offense if any of y'all wrote a story like that, but I just can't stand it. Okay, now that I have made myself clear: onto those wonderful, wonderful reviews. Musicizdbest-more pranks? No problamo, dude! You like pulling pranks too? AWESOME! Feel free to share any ideas. Pranks are the best! Thanks for the review! rosezgarden- Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. I read your story Before it all began There was YOU! and I really like it so far! Keep writing! Lucky_719- It's actually convincing? *falls onto floor in a dead faint* Thank you thank you thank you! I'll update as fast as my evil computer will let me (or as fast as I can write). I read/reviewed your story (The Mind of Lily). Look 4 it!

Thank you, Thank you one and all. Thank you greatest reviewers of all! (Wow. I don't know where that came from!)

Keep Reading, and Keep Reviewing!