This is what happens when a friend (Mornie Alantie) and I were so bored
that we decided to play a story game. We each wrote a paragraph and then
sent it back to the other.
Disclaimer: One day I WILL own Lego.. . mebe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but SOME day. What?! I don't, can't and will never own him or anyone of Tolkien's? Aww *sobs*
All She Wanted Was Her Fish
Chapter 1:
Lunwe Celebleaf was strolling along in her garden one day, looking for the fish she had tossed down from her window to feed her cat. The cat had screeched and hurried away because the fish was trice its size, but Lunwe didn't want to waste a good fish so she wandered down from her bedroom in Lothlorien to look for the fish she had dropped.
And instead of finding her fish she bumped into Legolas Greenleaf who was in Lothlorien with the Fellowship on their way to Mordor. She scowled at him for getting in her way and preventing her from getting her nice fish. In the mean time Gollum had somehow broken in to Lothlorien unnoticed and had picked up the fish singing, "We only Wish to catch a fish! So juicy sWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" At this Legolas turned around to see what had happened and she ran past him to her beloved fish.
'I apologize milady,' the blonde elf shouted after her, 'did I disturb your hunt?' Lunwe turned around and ripped the dead fish out of Gollum's mouth (Gollum: "noooooooooooooo.my preeeccciouussssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!") she turned and chucked the fish at Legolas' head, it hit hard and the elf turned and blacked out. The Lunwe realized what she had done; she had put the Prince of Mirkwood into a coma.
"O Elbereth!" She muttered. Thranduil was going to kill her, and Galadriel, and Gandalf, and the killer FAN GIRLS!! "O no! O Sh*t! And other curses in Elvish, Dwarvish, Westron, and all other languages that she knew. That was quite a lot compared to the other elf maidens, but not all of them were insane like her. She knelt beside the Prince and pokes him gingerly, expecting him to bite. "You can wake up now, Please!"..
Water, that always worked in kiddy cartoons she watched, she ran to Galadriel's mirror and found the little pond empty, with a snarl she pulled the mirror off its settlement and carried the large dish to Legolas, which she poured over his face in one go. He was still unconscious. Maybe a bit of pain will help, Lunwe thought, she picked up one of his limp arms and bit him of the wrist as hard as she can, she left an impressive set of teeth marks, but the prince was as out of it as ever.
Elf Prince tasted good she thought as she sat back on her heels deciding what to do. She thought of what the girls in her fantasy books would do, she would NOT kiss him, she decided instantly. In past meetings with the Mirkwood elves she had learned that he was a snobby, obnoxious elf who only thought about him self and his bow if she thought about it. His Bow! That was it, she slapped herself on the forehead for her stupidity. But his bow was on his back, which he was lying on. She tried to push him on to his side, but he wouldn't move, heavy sack of potatoes, she thought as she used all of her strength to flip him over.
She finally managed to kick him over with her foot, there it was, the bow.she picked it up and waved it over the elf's face. 'HEY PRINCY!!! I GOT YOUR BOW!!!! AND GUESS WHAT???? IM GONNA BREAK IT!!!!' She pranced around waving the bow, the prince lay limp, well, Lunwe thought, guess I'll have to try some action. she bended the bow, further and further..
*SNAP*
Lunwe stared dumbly at the two pieces of bow in her hands, connected a shred of string, the elf lay still. Oh DAMN! Lunwe thought desperately, I killed the prince AND broke his bow! Then she noticed a short, pointy figure coming towards her, and saw a flash of pointed red glasses frames.
The figure seemed to be staring at Legolas so she didn't notice the creek in her path swollen to the brink with floodwater.
*SPLOOSH*
Well that was one headache she didn't have to worry about. She turned her attention back to the prince. What was she going to do? All she wanted was the fish and she had ended up with an unconscious elf prince and a broken bow. She had to get him out of sight, and soon she realized, if she could somehow revive him at least half her problems would be gone. She grabbed the Prince by his arms and began the long arduous struggle back to her room, which she decided would be the safest place to put him until she decided what of Middle-Earth to do with him. She halted, weary from the short haul along the ground to get to the entrance of her house, and stared. She stared in shock at the long, seemingly endless flight of stairs which on most days she loved so much..
'Oh GGGGOOOOODDDDD he's heavy.' Lunwe moaned as she finally propped Legolas onto her bed and threw a sheet over him. Great, now where am I supposed to sleep? She thought, well since he's unconscious. she decided, and threw herself wearily on the bed beside the limp body of the blonde elf. Then she remembered, she had forgotten the broken bow, she pounded her head and raced down fifty flight of stair, stuffing the remains of the bow down her shirt, she panted as she struggled up the stairs for what seemed to be hours. She finally got into the room, and stared in horror, Legolas was gone, but his clothes lay in a heap in the middle of her bed.
"O Eru! Save me!" She stared numbly at the bed. It was then that she became aware that the door to her bathroom was open and there was something in the bathtub. To make it worse it was singing! She shrieked a slammed the door shut, breathing heavily she leaned against the closed door. The thing had blond hair; she came to the shocking conclusion, so it had to be Legolas. "O my Valar!" She moaned in despair. At least he was awake, she thought glumly. She felt something poke her in the back, resisting the urge to shriek again she grabbed. The bow. Great, one more thing to deal with. She flopped glumly on to her bed, not sure what to do with it.
Lunwe sat on her bed and gazed sadly at the bathroom door, great, she thought, wait until Rose hears that a guy had a bath in her bathroom. suddenly the elf came out, wearing only a towel tied around his waist. Lunwe stared, dumbstruck, as the elf walked across the room and didn't seem to notice her. His eyes were closed, he must be sleepwalking, Lunwe realized, and groaned, it was dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, she had heard, even fatal, so now she was stuck with an unconscious elf that walked around wearing nothing but a towel.sigh! There was a knocked on the door. 'Lunwe, you there?' It was Rose, Lunwe gulped, 'What's up with you? Let me in!' Not sure what to do, Lunwe reached out and opened the door.
Rose saw the door open to a bare crack; Lunwe's normally happy face looked drawn and worried. "What is troubling you?" Rose asked, her face a picture of kindness.
Lunwe glared at her, "If you don't count the knocked out, half naked, sleepwalking Prince of Mirkwood and his bow that *I* broke, nothing is at all the matter." Rose's face was a mixture of shock and laughter as she learned of Lunwe's predicament. "You've certainly gotten your self into trouble this time." She concluded as Lunwe finished telling her about her *wonderful* day.
Lunwe glared at her, the betrayer, she thought as she stared at Rose with narrowed eyes, she's Laughing! Rose saw the look on her face and quickly endeavored (A/n: English class is *fun*! Ya rite) to put a look of sympathy on her face. "Well, my friend," Rose tried hesitantly, "I mind as well come in and see if we can fix your little problem here." Lunwe gave one last hard look at Rose before she open the door wide enough to let Rose in and turned around. The sight that met her eyes caused her to release her second earsplitting shriek of the day.
'Holy sh*t!' Rose exclaimed, the prince of Mirkwood, still in the towel, was smearing a bottle of Lunwe's favorite sparkly burgundy nail polish into his perfect blonde hair like hair gel. Then he turned and headed to the bookshelf, where he opened an imaginary door and picked up a book, then he combed his hair with the book and got the nail polish all over the leather binding. Rose watched in amusement while Lunwe mourned the loss of her beautiful nail polish.
'He must still think he's in his own room.' Rose observed, 'I wonder where he keeps his food in his room.' Legolas turned and went back into the washroom, opening the medicine cabinet he pulled out a tampon, Lunwe flushed a deep red, but then turned white when the prince started trying to eat it, crunching the plastic and pulling the string out of his teeth at intervals. Rose was in hysterics, laughing uncontrollably; she got up and shoved Lunwe on the arm.
'Hey, at least he didn't try and eat a used one!'
Lunwe turned pale at the thought; it was just too disturbing for her already troubled mind to handle. Rose saw her face and decided to end this catastrophe now. She walked up to Legolas and slapped him hard across the face. He collapsed immediately to the floor, a trail of nail polish behind him. "O my Valar!" Lunwe yelled, "What did you do to him?" All other ranting was put aside as she heard a groan from foot level. The Prince opened his eyes blearily and looked around. "He's awake!" Rose murmured, not daring to hope. It was then when Legolas noticed his surroundings, and even more terrifying, himself.
'Sweet Eru where am I who are you why am I.O PRAISE VALAR!!!!!!!!!' He screeched as he caught the reflection of himself on the mirror, his precious hair blobbed with sparkly, dark red nail polish and himself naked except for a towel around his waist.
'What have you DONE?????' He ejaculated
'What have WE done?' Rose went up to him and Lunwe groped in confusion of how she was going to explain the bow. 'YOU'RE the one who used all her nail polish and got her book dirty! Oh yeah, and you tried to eat one of her TAMPONS!'
Lunwe gasped and choked.
'Tampon?' Legolas blinked, 'pray tell, what on Middle-Earth is that?'
Then Rose told him, explaining step by step, with every necessary and unnecessary detail of the origin and use of a tampon, although she did omit one detail, she didn't tell him that it was a new one.
Legolas turned red, then white, then as green as his name, and then with a scream of utter terror he fled from Lunwe's bed room, still wearing the nail polish and nothing but the towel. Rose and Lunwe gazed amusedly after him.
'Wow,' Lunwe said, 'look at him go!' Rose licked one of her fingers and raised it into the air; she grinned and turned to Lunwe.
'You ain't seen nothing yet, wait until this wind catches.'
Disclaimer: One day I WILL own Lego.. . mebe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but SOME day. What?! I don't, can't and will never own him or anyone of Tolkien's? Aww *sobs*
All She Wanted Was Her Fish
Chapter 1:
Lunwe Celebleaf was strolling along in her garden one day, looking for the fish she had tossed down from her window to feed her cat. The cat had screeched and hurried away because the fish was trice its size, but Lunwe didn't want to waste a good fish so she wandered down from her bedroom in Lothlorien to look for the fish she had dropped.
And instead of finding her fish she bumped into Legolas Greenleaf who was in Lothlorien with the Fellowship on their way to Mordor. She scowled at him for getting in her way and preventing her from getting her nice fish. In the mean time Gollum had somehow broken in to Lothlorien unnoticed and had picked up the fish singing, "We only Wish to catch a fish! So juicy sWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" At this Legolas turned around to see what had happened and she ran past him to her beloved fish.
'I apologize milady,' the blonde elf shouted after her, 'did I disturb your hunt?' Lunwe turned around and ripped the dead fish out of Gollum's mouth (Gollum: "noooooooooooooo.my preeeccciouussssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!") she turned and chucked the fish at Legolas' head, it hit hard and the elf turned and blacked out. The Lunwe realized what she had done; she had put the Prince of Mirkwood into a coma.
"O Elbereth!" She muttered. Thranduil was going to kill her, and Galadriel, and Gandalf, and the killer FAN GIRLS!! "O no! O Sh*t! And other curses in Elvish, Dwarvish, Westron, and all other languages that she knew. That was quite a lot compared to the other elf maidens, but not all of them were insane like her. She knelt beside the Prince and pokes him gingerly, expecting him to bite. "You can wake up now, Please!"..
Water, that always worked in kiddy cartoons she watched, she ran to Galadriel's mirror and found the little pond empty, with a snarl she pulled the mirror off its settlement and carried the large dish to Legolas, which she poured over his face in one go. He was still unconscious. Maybe a bit of pain will help, Lunwe thought, she picked up one of his limp arms and bit him of the wrist as hard as she can, she left an impressive set of teeth marks, but the prince was as out of it as ever.
Elf Prince tasted good she thought as she sat back on her heels deciding what to do. She thought of what the girls in her fantasy books would do, she would NOT kiss him, she decided instantly. In past meetings with the Mirkwood elves she had learned that he was a snobby, obnoxious elf who only thought about him self and his bow if she thought about it. His Bow! That was it, she slapped herself on the forehead for her stupidity. But his bow was on his back, which he was lying on. She tried to push him on to his side, but he wouldn't move, heavy sack of potatoes, she thought as she used all of her strength to flip him over.
She finally managed to kick him over with her foot, there it was, the bow.she picked it up and waved it over the elf's face. 'HEY PRINCY!!! I GOT YOUR BOW!!!! AND GUESS WHAT???? IM GONNA BREAK IT!!!!' She pranced around waving the bow, the prince lay limp, well, Lunwe thought, guess I'll have to try some action. she bended the bow, further and further..
*SNAP*
Lunwe stared dumbly at the two pieces of bow in her hands, connected a shred of string, the elf lay still. Oh DAMN! Lunwe thought desperately, I killed the prince AND broke his bow! Then she noticed a short, pointy figure coming towards her, and saw a flash of pointed red glasses frames.
The figure seemed to be staring at Legolas so she didn't notice the creek in her path swollen to the brink with floodwater.
*SPLOOSH*
Well that was one headache she didn't have to worry about. She turned her attention back to the prince. What was she going to do? All she wanted was the fish and she had ended up with an unconscious elf prince and a broken bow. She had to get him out of sight, and soon she realized, if she could somehow revive him at least half her problems would be gone. She grabbed the Prince by his arms and began the long arduous struggle back to her room, which she decided would be the safest place to put him until she decided what of Middle-Earth to do with him. She halted, weary from the short haul along the ground to get to the entrance of her house, and stared. She stared in shock at the long, seemingly endless flight of stairs which on most days she loved so much..
'Oh GGGGOOOOODDDDD he's heavy.' Lunwe moaned as she finally propped Legolas onto her bed and threw a sheet over him. Great, now where am I supposed to sleep? She thought, well since he's unconscious. she decided, and threw herself wearily on the bed beside the limp body of the blonde elf. Then she remembered, she had forgotten the broken bow, she pounded her head and raced down fifty flight of stair, stuffing the remains of the bow down her shirt, she panted as she struggled up the stairs for what seemed to be hours. She finally got into the room, and stared in horror, Legolas was gone, but his clothes lay in a heap in the middle of her bed.
"O Eru! Save me!" She stared numbly at the bed. It was then that she became aware that the door to her bathroom was open and there was something in the bathtub. To make it worse it was singing! She shrieked a slammed the door shut, breathing heavily she leaned against the closed door. The thing had blond hair; she came to the shocking conclusion, so it had to be Legolas. "O my Valar!" She moaned in despair. At least he was awake, she thought glumly. She felt something poke her in the back, resisting the urge to shriek again she grabbed. The bow. Great, one more thing to deal with. She flopped glumly on to her bed, not sure what to do with it.
Lunwe sat on her bed and gazed sadly at the bathroom door, great, she thought, wait until Rose hears that a guy had a bath in her bathroom. suddenly the elf came out, wearing only a towel tied around his waist. Lunwe stared, dumbstruck, as the elf walked across the room and didn't seem to notice her. His eyes were closed, he must be sleepwalking, Lunwe realized, and groaned, it was dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, she had heard, even fatal, so now she was stuck with an unconscious elf that walked around wearing nothing but a towel.sigh! There was a knocked on the door. 'Lunwe, you there?' It was Rose, Lunwe gulped, 'What's up with you? Let me in!' Not sure what to do, Lunwe reached out and opened the door.
Rose saw the door open to a bare crack; Lunwe's normally happy face looked drawn and worried. "What is troubling you?" Rose asked, her face a picture of kindness.
Lunwe glared at her, "If you don't count the knocked out, half naked, sleepwalking Prince of Mirkwood and his bow that *I* broke, nothing is at all the matter." Rose's face was a mixture of shock and laughter as she learned of Lunwe's predicament. "You've certainly gotten your self into trouble this time." She concluded as Lunwe finished telling her about her *wonderful* day.
Lunwe glared at her, the betrayer, she thought as she stared at Rose with narrowed eyes, she's Laughing! Rose saw the look on her face and quickly endeavored (A/n: English class is *fun*! Ya rite) to put a look of sympathy on her face. "Well, my friend," Rose tried hesitantly, "I mind as well come in and see if we can fix your little problem here." Lunwe gave one last hard look at Rose before she open the door wide enough to let Rose in and turned around. The sight that met her eyes caused her to release her second earsplitting shriek of the day.
'Holy sh*t!' Rose exclaimed, the prince of Mirkwood, still in the towel, was smearing a bottle of Lunwe's favorite sparkly burgundy nail polish into his perfect blonde hair like hair gel. Then he turned and headed to the bookshelf, where he opened an imaginary door and picked up a book, then he combed his hair with the book and got the nail polish all over the leather binding. Rose watched in amusement while Lunwe mourned the loss of her beautiful nail polish.
'He must still think he's in his own room.' Rose observed, 'I wonder where he keeps his food in his room.' Legolas turned and went back into the washroom, opening the medicine cabinet he pulled out a tampon, Lunwe flushed a deep red, but then turned white when the prince started trying to eat it, crunching the plastic and pulling the string out of his teeth at intervals. Rose was in hysterics, laughing uncontrollably; she got up and shoved Lunwe on the arm.
'Hey, at least he didn't try and eat a used one!'
Lunwe turned pale at the thought; it was just too disturbing for her already troubled mind to handle. Rose saw her face and decided to end this catastrophe now. She walked up to Legolas and slapped him hard across the face. He collapsed immediately to the floor, a trail of nail polish behind him. "O my Valar!" Lunwe yelled, "What did you do to him?" All other ranting was put aside as she heard a groan from foot level. The Prince opened his eyes blearily and looked around. "He's awake!" Rose murmured, not daring to hope. It was then when Legolas noticed his surroundings, and even more terrifying, himself.
'Sweet Eru where am I who are you why am I.O PRAISE VALAR!!!!!!!!!' He screeched as he caught the reflection of himself on the mirror, his precious hair blobbed with sparkly, dark red nail polish and himself naked except for a towel around his waist.
'What have you DONE?????' He ejaculated
'What have WE done?' Rose went up to him and Lunwe groped in confusion of how she was going to explain the bow. 'YOU'RE the one who used all her nail polish and got her book dirty! Oh yeah, and you tried to eat one of her TAMPONS!'
Lunwe gasped and choked.
'Tampon?' Legolas blinked, 'pray tell, what on Middle-Earth is that?'
Then Rose told him, explaining step by step, with every necessary and unnecessary detail of the origin and use of a tampon, although she did omit one detail, she didn't tell him that it was a new one.
Legolas turned red, then white, then as green as his name, and then with a scream of utter terror he fled from Lunwe's bed room, still wearing the nail polish and nothing but the towel. Rose and Lunwe gazed amusedly after him.
'Wow,' Lunwe said, 'look at him go!' Rose licked one of her fingers and raised it into the air; she grinned and turned to Lunwe.
'You ain't seen nothing yet, wait until this wind catches.'
