A/N:  More hilarity!  Yay!  The theme song is "Bad Reputation," by Joan Jett.  I've started emailing all my reviewers to let them know about updates, new stories, etc.  However, some of you don't have your email addresses in your profiles!  If you would like to be included in this mailing list, please either leave your email in your review, or email me your addy at JinxthePixie@aol.com.  On to the disclaimer!

Disclaimer:  Everything you recognize belongs to JKR.  "Back That Ass Up, the Gay Version" belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park.  The original version (which does not appear here) belongs to whoever sings it.  (It is a very rare occasion that I listen to rap.  I find it quite annoying most of the time.)  Everything else is mine.  If you wish to use any of it, or archive this story, just ask me.  ^_^

Bad Reputation, by Joan Jett

I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
You're living in the past it's a new generation
A boy can do what he wants to do and that's
What I'm gonna do
An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation

Oh no not me
An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
Never said I wanted to improve my station
An' I'm only doin' good
When I'm havin' fun
An' I don't have to please no one
An' I don't give a damn
'Bout my bad reputation

Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me

I don't give a damn
'Bout my reputation
I've never been afraid of any deviation
An' I don't really care
If ya think I'm strange
I ain't gonna change
An' I'm never gonna care
'Bout my bad reputation

Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me

Pedal boys!

An' I don't give a damn
'Bout my reputation
The world's in trouble
There's no communication
An' everyone can say
What they want to say
It never gets better anyway
So why should I care
'Bout a bad reputation anyway
Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me

I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation
You're living in the past
It's a new generation
An' I only feel good
When I got no pain
An' that's how I'm gonna stay
An' I don't give a damn
'Bout my bad reputation

Oh no, not me
Oh no, not
Not me, not me

Chapter 4:  Lap Dances, Gay Boys, and Imps, OH MY!

            The next morning, Draco strolled into the Great Hall, wearing sangoire leather pants, a tight black stretchy shirt, and his new combat boots.  He smiled seductively at Draco, winked at Blaise (who had agreed to help), and put a charm on the walls to play background music.

            Once the music had started up, Draco stood in the aisle between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables, with his right hand isolated in the air.

            "What you are to do is, bend over, and walk this way," Draco said in a very "Diego-like" voice, without the lisp, as he bent over and jumped backward, toward the Gryffindor table.

            Blaise looked up and tried to copy the move, jumping forward, toward the Ravenclaw table.

            "Like this?"

            Draco rolled his eyes and said, "No fool!  Back that ass up!"

            Blaise shook his derriere in the air and said, "OH, like this?"

            Draco did the move correctly once again and replied, "No, like this."

            Blaise finally succeeded in backing his ass up and said cheerily, "Okay."

            Draco laughed and said, "You're so silly!" as he back his ass up until he was in Ron's lap, dancing in quite a sexual manner.

"I said I love it when your ass shakes, it's crazy!
I love to toss a salad daily, it's tasty!
I love it when we're maxin', relaxin',
You ask me if I'm super,
Thanks for askin',
But you know I'm a diva, like Xena,
You say "Hey senorita, nice to meet ya",
Bend over like a doggy,
Here comes the logger,
We can do it like a monkey,
Or frog it,
You can play with my Sony,
Rub my pony,
I don't like blow-up dolls,
'Cause they're too phony,
You like it from the back side,
The rough ride...
So dip, dip, dip n' slide,


Boy, you look good,
Need back that ass up!
You're a big fine man,
Back that ass up!
Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up!
Ronnie quit playin',
Back that ass up!
Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up!
All you need to do is back that ass up!

I like to get nude with the Village People,
I watched Mill Gibson's butt in the movie Lethal!
Jump on your ass like I'm doing stunts carnival,
Shagadelic like Austin Powers 'n' Dr. Evil!
Your ass is a medit,
I'm your gay bandit,
Ronnie your butt is too hairy,
I can't stand it!
The big airplane just landed,
So spread your butt cheeks so I can "can" it!


Boy you look good,
Need to back that ass up!
You're a big strong man,
Back that ass up!
Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up!
Ronnie quit playin',
Back that ass up!
Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up!
Boy who's will you play with?
Back that ass up!
Boy you look good,
All you need to do is back that ass up!
You're a big strong man,
Back that ass up!"

Draco continued dancing in Ron's lap, as Blaise began singing.

"I know you can't stand it,
Gay bandit,
Hoppin' around the big carry like a rabbit,
Looking for a big man, a thick man,
Send it deep inside like quick sand,
Looking for a big stick,
A loving, summer stick,
Back that ass up,
Fast, but not quick!

As Blaise finished his verse, he and Draco joined together to sing the last chorus in two-part harmony.

"Back that ass up!
Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up!
Ronnie quit playin',
Back that ass up!
Boy you look good,
Back that ass up!
You're a big strong man,
Back that ass up!"

At this, Draco turned around and planted a huge kiss on Ron's lips, before getting up.  Ron promptly ran out of the hall, red from head to toe.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "I'm bored."

            Draco looked up from his Potions homework as his cousin spoke, and said, "You would think you have had enough entertainment for the day, what with that scene at break."

            "Yeah, that was great.  I caught it on all film.  But that was several hours ago," Vile replied with an evil glint in her eyes.

            "Uh oh… Vile… what are you thinking?" Draco asked, backing away.

            "So glad you asked!  See, Harry and I talked earlier.  He told me that his father, Professor Lupin, and their friends used to have quite a lot of fun causing mischief during school.  We decided that you, me, Hermione, Ron, Ginny Weasley, and himself should team up to create the new generation of Marauders.  After all, we ought to have fun during our last year of school."

            "WHAT?!?  Us, team up with *Gryffindors*, and the Dream Team, no less?" Draco screamed.

            "Oh come on.  He has this map that the Marauders made… you can see all the secret passages in the school, some that lead to Hogsmeade, and all the teachers, students, and ghosts, that are roaming the halls and grounds!  And between us, we'll have two invisibility cloaks.  We'll be virtually uncatchable!  Plus… this would be the perfect way for you to get close to your Ickle Ronniekins," reasoned Vile.

            Draco brightened and thought for a minute, before agreeing to take part in this new era of troublemaking.

            "I want in too."

            Vile and Draco turned around to see Blaise standing behind him.

            "What could you bring to the group?" asked Vile, skeptically.

            "I've been researching the Animagus spell.  I finally know how to perform it.  Pulling pranks would be much easier if you had a few people with small animal forms," he replied with a smug look on his handsome face.        

"All right, you're in," said Vile, as she picked up her invisibility cloak.  "Come on, let's go.  I told Harry I would meet him and the Gryffs in a room on the third floor at ten o'clock."

            So the trio raced out of the Slytherin common room, well hidden underneath Vile's cloak.

            Vile stopped them when they reached a large portrait of Wallace the Wimpy and said, "Open up you little wuss, or I'll beat your face in!"

            Wallace squeaked and allowed them admittance.

            The Slytherins walked inside the room to find the Gryffindor half of the future mischief-makers already there. 

            "So Harry, did you explain to the others about the proposal?" Vile asked as she sat down on a large purple couch.

            "Yes, they have agreed," Harry replied.  "Will Blaise be joining us as well?"

            "Yep.  He can help us become Animagi.  All of you should be able to perform the spell immediately.  As for me, I'll just take my wolf form," Vile said with a smile.

            "All right then.  We'll do that last.  First, we need to think of a name for ourselves.  And after that, we need to plan the ground-breaking prank."

            "Hold up, hold *up*!" Ron shouted.  "Don't tell me that… that… Fruit Donut is going to be in this too!"

            "Ron, it's Fruit *Loop*.  And yes, he is.  Now, on to business," said Harry authoritatively.

            So the seven teenagers began contemplating names for their newly formed group.

            "How about… The Imps?" suggested Hermione after a while.

            "What's an imp?" asked Ron.

            "Duh, Ron!  You're a wizard; you should know this!  It's 'one that likes to create trouble,'" exclaimed both Vile and Hermione at once.

            "So-o-ry…" Ron mumbled, quite grumpily.

            Harry shifted in the armchair he was seated in, and said, "Okay, so we're The Imps.  Does anyone have any ideas for the first prank?"

            "Of course.  We start Insult Day," Vile replied.

            "Insult Day?"

            "Yes, Insult Day.  We chant an incantation first thing in the morning, and the rest of the day is complete chaos, with everyone shouting crude insults at one another.  Everyone, even the teachers would be involved.  We could join in as well!" Vile said, excitedly.

            "Okay, so what is this spell?"

            "Eris, weave your work,
            Point out everyone's quirks.
            Turn this day upside down,
            And leave everyone with an insult crown,
" Vile replied, careful not to touch her wand as she recited the words, for it was not yet time for Insult Day to commence.

            "Okay, now it's time for the Animagus spell," Harry said, nodding his head.

            "Okay, we all gather in a circle.  I'll say the spell, and we'll each be transformed for a few seconds.  After that, we can transform at will," said Blaise.

            They then gathered in a circle, except Vile, and Blaise waved his wand, saying, "Riveli la vostra forma animale!"

            Soon, in the group's place, stood a small black kitten (Hermione), small red fox (Ron), tiny white ferret (Draco), another cute little fox (Ginny), a large ebony raven (Harry), and a massive Bengal tiger (Blaise).

            "Awww… you're all so tiny… except Harry and Blaise!  You're *so* cute!" exclaimed Vile as they began to become human again.

            "I can't believe I turned into a white ferret," Draco muttered. 

            Ginny giggled and said, "Well I like my form… foxes are pretty cool."

            "And of course you and Ron would have fox forms… everyone knows that the Weasleys are fox demons!" Vile said, as if this fact should have been obvious.  "Now, we need names for each of us."

            "Let's do that later," said Harry, with a yawn.  "It's past midnight, and I'm tired."

            So The Imps dispersed and went to bed anticipating Insult Day, and other future antics.

A/N:  Hermione thinks she's a dog… she kept trying to eat the chapter when I was writing it.  (I have a black kitten named Hermione.)  For those of you who don't know, sangoire is the color of blood.  It's such a dark red, that it's almost black.  And grrr… in the song part, it didn't keep the formatting I wanted… oh well… Cookie time!

SycoCallie:  Zim rocks!  And I'm so glad you like my stories.  I think one of the greatest compliments is when the author of another story I like gives me a positive review.  ^_^  And * wow*, you're the second person to add me to your favorites list!  I was so completely surprised when I looked at my stats and saw that I am now on the favorites list of 3 people… it made my day.  ^_^

 

ladylighter:  LOL, I'll talk to Vile and see if I can arrange that.  And yes, slightly mad Malfoys do rock.  Of course, Vile and Remus will still hook up eventually.  But I have to be evil and give them obstacles.  HEHEHE!!!