A/N:  Be warned, this contains some slashy smut.  The lemon is pretty vague and undetailed though.  The theme song is "Feelin' Love" by Paula Cole.

Disclaimer:  What's mine is still mine and what's not is still JKR's.

Feelin' Love, by Paula Cole

You make me feel like a sticky pistil
Leaning into her stamen
You make me feel like Mr. Sunshine himself
You make me feel like splendor in the grass where we're rolling
Damn skippy baby
You make me feel like the Amazon's running between my thighs

You make me feel love

You make me feel like a candy apple all red and horny
You make me feel like I want to be dumb blonde
In a centerfold, the girl next door
And I would open the door and I'd be all wet
With my tits soaking through this tiny little t-shirt
That I'm wearing and you would open the door
And tie me up to the bed

You make me feel love

Lover, I don't know who I am
Am I Barry White?
Am I hot inside?
What would I place with your hot conscious
Oh baby babe babe babe
I will be your death the moon light
Take your time

You make me feel love

Chapter 8:  Love Potion No. 9

            "I hope everyone knows the rules of safe sex, for I do believe that you will need them," said Snape, grinning gleefully at the class of Gryffindor and Slytherin seventh years.  "Well, what are you waiting for, you insolent brats?  Drink up!"

            The students looked warily at each other and tentatively lifted their goblets full of a smoky, sickeningly pink liquid.  Even Neville hadn't messed this one up.

            No sooner than they had ingested the potion, they were overtaken with a driving need for sex, sex, and more sex.

            Vile slowly turned to Harry and said, "SWEET MERLIN, Harry, you look so hot!  I… I want you to fuck me with a spoon!"

            Harry answered by glomping her.

            "I guess I should have told you all that the name of this particular love potion is the Draught of Ardor… or Love Potion No. 9," giggled Snape.

            The students were too busy drooling over one another to hear his admission.

            BAM!

Everyone looked up after hearing their Professor slam a copy of Moste Potente Potions on his desk.

"You are excused from classes for the rest of the day so that you can be free to hump like fluffy bunnies."

Within five seconds, the classroom was empty.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BEHIND THE PORTRAIT OF WALLACE THE WIMPY…

            "Draco, I want you now!  Please take me, now!" breathed Ron.

            "But," protested Draco.  I'm an uke!"

            Ron looked up in horror at the Slytherin and cried, "But I am too!"

            Suddenly, Vile walked in the room with Harry.

            "It doesn't matter who's top and who's bottom when you've taken the Draught of Ardor.  You just wanna get some.  So will y'all please get freaky already?!?"

            Ron and Draco stared pointedly at Vile and Harry.

            "Oh yeah… we should leave.  Come on Harry.  Let's go to the kitchens.  There's lots of spoons there."

            "Yes ma'am!  Yehaw!"

            "No, Harry.  It's 'yeehaw.'  And you can't do it.  You're not from Texas OR the South, or even America."

            Harry pouted and closed the portrait behind them.        

            "Well, now that they're gone, who gets to be on the bottom?" asked Draco.

            "ME!"

            "NO, ME!"

            "ME!"

            "Let's play Rock, Paper, Scissors," suggested Draco.

            "What?"

            "It's a Muggle game.  You hit your palm with your fist twice and on the third time, you either make a fist for rock, open hand for paper, or hold out two fingers for scissors.  Paper covers rock, rock smashes scissors, and scissors cut paper.  Whoever wins the most out of three gets to be bottom," explained Draco.

            "You're on," smirked Ron.

            And so, the game commenced.

            "HAHA!  I win!  LOSER!" exclaimed Ron.

            Draco growled and began again.

            "Oh, but *I* win this time.  Paper covers rock," purred Draco.

            "This game sucks!" Ron shouted as they went for the last time.

            "HA!  I win again!  Rock smashes scissors!" giggled Draco.

            "Bitch!"

            "Damn straight!"

            Ron tackled Draco to the floor, ripping at his clothes.  Once Draco's were gone, he tore his own away.

            Ron crashed his mouth down on Draco's in a bruising kiss.

            "This is no time for formalities, Weasley!  I want you to fuck me now!"

            "OH SHIT!  We don't have any lube!  Guess you'll have to take it dry…"

            "Bullshit!  Are you a wizard or not?" as Draco, pointing his wand… no, his wooden one… no… the one *separate* from his body… at Ron's erection.  "LUBRICACIO!"

            Ron's shaft was immediately slick and wet.

            "Now, Weasley… will you PLEASE penetrate me!  I'm dying here!"

            Ron grinned and complied, not worrying about being gentle.

            Draco loved the initial pain, reveled in it.  The seduction and making love blah blah blah could wait until *after* the potion had worn off.  For now, he just needed a good fuck.

            Meanwhile, Ron was arguing with himself inside his mind.  Practical Ron was chiding him for giving into the potion's effects and letting Malfoy lure him to the… floor, while Horny Ron was telling the other Ron to shut the hell up.  The poor redhead was beginning to feel a bit neurotic.

            Soon, both boys had finished with as much force as they had started.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            Later that evening, the students reluctantly went to dinner.

            "I hope you seventh years enjoyed your afternoon," chuckled Dumbledore, with a twinkle in his eye.  "If need be, you may sleep in one another's dorms.  Who knows, you could have giant orgies!"

            The students looked quite shocked that the Headmaster had suggested this.

            "Yes, I am a randy old goat," confirmed Dumbledore.  "Speaking of, we will be holding auditions for The Rocky Horror Picture Show in one week's time."

            Chatter filled the hall and Vile turned to Harry.  (He was sitting with her at the Slytherin table, for the sexual pull was too strong to allow them to be separated for long.) 

            "After dinner, bring all the girls in your house that are in fourth year and above to the Quidditch pitch."

            "Why?" asked Harry.

            "Duh, you're getting cheerleaders.  I already picked Hufflepuff's, Ravenclaw's, and Slytherin's.  I hope you've been training your team in Squeedlyspooch…"

            Harry nodded and said, "By the way… your place, or mine?  I've always wanted to say that…"

            Vile giggled and replied, "Neither.  We're gonna go to the Astronomy Tower.  You can have group sex some other time."

            Harry smiled and went to the Gryffindor table to gather the girls, while Vile went to the pitch.

            Vile paced, looking the girls Harry had brought her up and down, sizing them up.

            "Okay, Parvati Patil, Lavender Brown, Hermione Granger, Natalie McDonald, Virginia Weasley, Cara Riley, Madalyn Monroe, Cassandra Richards, Guinevere Jordan, Brenna Gallagher, Vivienne Lake, and Atalanta Spinnet, over here.  The rest of you may go.  Now, can any of you do a cartwheel?"

            Everyone except Natalie, Brenna, and Madalyn raised their hands.

            "Okay, Monroe, McDonald, and Gallagher, you may leave."

            The three girls huffed and left.

            "The rest of you, show me what you got."

            The nine remaining girls went into a succession of flips, tumbles, and jumps.

            "Riley and Richards, you're outta here.  Okay we've got seven left, and I'm keeping the five with the loudest voices.  So when I call on you, I want you to scream Harry's name at the top of your lungs.  Jordan."

            Guinevere Jordan opened her mouth wide and "HARRY!" echoed throughout the grounds.

            "Weasley."

            Ginny had been anticipating the moment when she would be screaming Harry's name, and as such, her voice beat that of Guinevere.

            "Spinnet."

            Atalanta's voice, however, was barely audible.

            "Patil."

            Parvati was loud, as were Lavender and Hermione.  Vivienne Lake, however, was only a bit louder that Atalanta Spinnet.

            "Okay, Weasley, Patil, Jordan, Brown, and Granger, you're Gryffindor's cheerleaders.  Granger, Jordan, tame that hair.  I've got plenty of Sleakeasy's and spells that I can use, so there's no excuse for leaving it like that.  Tomorrow I want you to bring me your oldest clothes and I will transfigure them into uniforms for you.  Oh and Ginny is the team captain.  She will be organizing practices, etc.  You may go."

            The girls rushed into the castle, chattering excitedly.  (Well, except for Hermione.  She wasn't quite sure how she felt about being a cheerleader.)  Vile grabbed Harry's hand and they raced to the Astronomy Tower, trying to fight down a fit of giggles.

A/N:  Don't worry, Harry and Vile are only together until the potion wears off.  Hehe… next chapter will have Snape and Lupin getting jealous, and the Rocky Horror auditions!  Oh, and Ron and Draco aren't completely together.  He's gonna be a prat after the potion wears off for a little while.  COOKIE TIME!         

Angelxd14:  Well I've got your new email address this time, so hopefully you won't miss this one.  LOL, thanks!  Love ya, you rock!  ~Queen Alexa Caytin Lowe:  Well that's already taken care of…

chimerical:  Sorry, had to get a bit of Vile/Remus in there.  But I put some R/D stuff in this chappy, just for you!  (And Caytin…)

SycoCallie:  LOL… And yes, as Dumbledore tells everyone, he is a "randy old goat."  Oh GODS I do not want to imagine Dumbledore that scantily clad, lol… now, Snape on the other hand… I wouldn't mind.  However, it's unfortunately only going to be a cast of students.