A Permanent Fusion Painful memories

Piccolo stared at the retreating form, still very confused as to what had just happened. One minute before the party, Goku was grinning from ear to ear at the Namek who kept growling at him and cursing him to get away. But now, he seemed to hate the Namek. And all because of Gojita.

Goku set Gojita down on the couch, then sat down beside her as he took out the bobbles. After they were out, he realised what they were.

"Dragonballs?"

"Hai…do you know about them?" she asked curiously.

"Hai! My first dragonball was this one!" he said as he pointed to the three star dragonball.

"Oh." She nodded. "How you know about the dragonballs?"

"Well, let me explain…" and Goku told her of his childhood. Growing up with his grandfather, meeting Bulma, fighting in the Budokai, meeting the rest of the Z Senshi, fighting the Red Ribbon army and the evil emperor Pilof. Even after he finished doing her hair, she still crept up on his lap and stared at him, eyes wide with absorbing each bit of the story. Her heart fell a bit when he told her that he married Chichi, but it was lifted just a bit when he told her that she tricked him into it. She was also very curious as to know how he and her tousan came together. But she didn't ask, not yet anyways.

"…And that's the story!" he proclaimed. Gojita stared wide-eyed, fascinated with all the happy adventures her kaasan had had.

"Sugoi!" she chirped. "Wow! I'd love to go on an adventure like you, kaa…I mean, Kakarot! Fighting evil people out to destroy or rule the earth, meeting new people and seeing new things everyday!" Goku smiled at her childish daydreaming. True, she was a child, but she was Vegeta's child. At first, it seemed to everyone that in Vegeta's world, there was no time or reason to dream. Even Goku had thought so. But after he and the ouji came together, he found out the ouji did dream. He dreamt of many things that Goku was sure no else did. And it was all because of Vegeta's upbringing.

"Well, at some times, it did feel pretty useless to fight."

"My tousan says, 'You should never give up, no matter what!'." She said proudly. Goku smiled. Hai, I found out that was the reason for his stubbornness. He thought amusedly. Iie, it wasn't stubbornness…it was persistence in disguise.

"Hmm…that is a very good motto." He nodded. Suddenly, the air was shattered by the gurgling sound of someone's stomach. Goku blushed a deep shade of red as he put a hand behind his head and chuckled nervously. "Oops! Erm…hehehehe…looks like I forgot to eat earlier on." Gojita was at first staring at him wide-eyed on surprise, but then burst out into peals of laughter. She was laughing so hard; she almost rolled off the couch if Goku hadn't caught her. Goku smiled as he picked her up and held her across from him.

He could clearly see that she had her tousan's lips, his nose, his beautifully tanned skin, his lithe little figure that had often beaten the shit out of him, and she had his wit. But what's there of me? He wondered. Goku ran his eyes over her carefully, hoping to spot something he knew that was his. Just then, Krillin walked into the room. Goku jumped in thinking it was Vegeta. He had been praying all the while that Vegeta wouldn't suddenly decide to come to the party. Krillin stopped when he saw Goku holding the arrogant chibi, and she was laughing! Krillin had thought that she was like Vegeta at first, but now here she was giggling away and looking like…like Goku!

"Hey Krillin!" greeted Goku as he put her back down on his lap. Gojita quickly tucked the cape under her butt so that her tail was hidden. "How are you enjoying the party?"

"Oh, it's great Goku!" Gojita cocked her head to one side, frowning curiously.

"Goku?" she looked up at him. "But…aren't you Kakarot?"

"Hai, that's my real name. But because I was from space, and I was too young to know what my name was, my grandfather called me Goku." She nodded her head, her tiny lips forming an 'oh'.

"Goku…" sputtered Krillin. "You told her that you're a…"

"Yup! He's a saiyan!" she chirped. Krillin looked shocked at this sudden happy-go-lucky nature when only a two hours ago she was scowling at them. Maybe Goku was right. He thought. Maybe she was only acting like that because she was nervous being around such big and muscular people. But that doesn't explain why she's with Goku…he's more big and muscular than any one of us!

"Oh…right." He muttered. "Well, Bulma says that the food is ready."

"Okay!" he chirped happily as he picked Gojita up. She didn't object, and was actually complying. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

"For you to move, Kakarot." She smirked. Krillin nearly jumped out of his skin when she said and did that.

"Oh! Right! Well, let's get going!" she smiled happily as he walked out to the gardens, fitting snugly into his arms. Krillin blinked a couple of times, trying to get over what just happened.

"Oh my good Kami-sama!" he muttered to himself. "She's another little Vegeta!"

But to everyone's surprise, once you get to know her, she was a little Goku. But to everyone's eyes, she was a hybrid cross between Goku and Vegeta. Hybrid because both were completely opposite. When she first met someone, she would be arrogant and scowl at the other. But when you know her, she's just as friendly as Goku. She had an appetite like Goku, yet she ate with grace, poise and the exact same neatness that Vegeta did. Yet, they could see that she was more of a little Vegeta, as the only person she scowled at was Chichi. Gojita was still holding a grudge against the Ox Queen for yelling and screaming at her kaasan like that. If I wasn't around these bakas right now, I'd blast her off to kingdom come! She glared at the woman one last time before digging into her chocolate éclair. Everyone watched curiously as the tiny chibi took a tiny well placed bite, and some cream flowed out onto her petit nose. Pan started to giggle, and Gojita gave her a confused scowl. It was evident that she hated being laughed at. Just like her tousan. Goku thought as he took a napkin and wiped the blob off her nose. Gojita's eyes followed his hand to the napkin and to her nose. At this kawaii sight, everyone smiled. Later, Gojita had dropped her hostile act towards everyone, except Chichi, and became just as friendly as Goku. Krillin had to admit, even though she scared him at first, he realised she wasn't such a bad kid. Just different.

Goku sat on the grass, watching over his little girl as she ran around the field, running away from Trunks as he played with the group of chibis. He smiled at being glad that everyone now understood Gojita, and that she wasn't as bad as she portrayed herself to be. Too bad nobody believed Vegeta…he thought sadly.

"Hey Goku!" he looked up to see Krillin come walking over. He smiled at his life-long friend.

"Hey Krillin! Enjoying the party?" he asked as his friend sat next to him.

"Hai! It's a great party. I can see Pan's really enjoying herself."

"Hai, she is." He agreed. "She's really happy to be playing with Gojita."

"Yeah, and so's Trunks and Goten." He agreed. "Even Gohan likes her! Hell, nearly everyone likes her!" Goku turned his head curiously towards Krillin.

"Huh? Why do you say nearly everyone."

"Well, Chichi doesn't seem to like her very much." He honestly said. "And Gojita doesn't seem to like her either."

"Oh, that." He muttered. Goku actually didn't give a damn what Chichi liked or not, all he cared about was Gojita. Krillin noticed the silence and decided to change the subject.

"So…you gonna sleepover?"

"I guess so. Why? Are you?"

"Nah, Juuhachi-gou says that she'd prefer to go home. Even though Marron's gonna stay, she just wants it to be the two of us tonight." Goku nodded.

"Hai, I know." He looked blissfully to where Gojita was to see that she was being held by Piccolo. A deep growl escaped his throat, but he quickly covered it up. Gojita hopped down from Piccolo's arms and ran to Goku. He smiled at her, but his eyes were glaring at Piccolo.

"Hay Kakarot!" she chirped as she jumped into his lap.

"Hey there, Gojita." He said as he picked her up. "Having fun?" Gojita nodded. "Great! Mind if I play with you guys?"

"Sure, but don't run too fast." She said. "Pan'll have a hernia if you do. She's already yelling at Trunks." Goku shook his head as he chuckled and got up.

"Alright then…"

"Kiiids!" called Bulma. "Come on in! Dinner's ready!"

"FOOD!" Goku tried to run to the kitchen, but Gojita tripped him.

"I think that maybe we can walk, ne Kakarot?"

"Oh…gomen." He chuckled as he gave his famous Son grin. Back in the kitchen, Gojita sat on Goku's lap as there was no where else for her. Even though she was tiny and petit, there were so many kids she just couldn't fit in at the table. Goku was all too please to have his daughter sitting on his lap, and she wouldn't have it any other way. Everyone from the Z Senshi couldn't help but notice that the two were almost alike. Even though Gojita ate one-quarter of what Goku normally eats, it was still more than the average ningen adult.

Finally, by ten, everyone who was sleeping over was in bed. Gojita included. The Z Senshi were sitting in the living room, having a good 'ol chat about the old days. Goku had made sure to sit as far away from Chichi as possible, as he didn't want her to suddenly burst out with some shit about him hitting her. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. Then, Yamcha decided to bring up something.

"Hey, Goku."

"Hai?"

"I just wanted to ask you if you know that chibi Gojita."

"Well, yeah. I meet her everyday after school when I pick up Pan, Trunks and Goten." He said. "Why?"

"Oh, it's nothing." He said with a casual wave of his hand. "I'm just wondering because you two seem so close."

"Nani?" he asked, feeling a little nervous. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she scowls at everyone but you. And she'll let us ruffle her hair, but she won't let us pick her up like she let's you."

"Yeah, come to think of it dad," piped up Goten. "She had never scowled at you before. Not even when you guys first met." Everyone turned their attention to the burly saiyan who was sweating madly! Goku felt like he was on trial, and the suspense was driving him nuts! Good thing Vegeta isn't here. He thought. He's probably edge them on to the truth!!

"Uh…hehehe…I really don't know why that is so." He said, trying to pretend like he really didn't. "All I do is act friendly towards her." They nodded, obviously buying it.

"Maybe so," spoke up Chichi. "But what I'd like to know is…why does she look like you?" If Goku wasn't already pale before, he was most certainly now. Huge beads of sweat ran down the side of his head.

"Uhh…what…what are you talking about?"

"You know very well!" she yelled.

"Shh!" he hissed. "Do you want to wake the kids?!"

"Saa, Chichi does have a point." Said Bulma. "She does look a bit like you."

"Umm…how?"

"Well, you have the same spiky bangs in front, you both grin the same and she's got your eyes." Once again, everyone turned their attention to Goku, as if looking for an answer in him. Goku was now sweating bullets! Oh man! If I say something wrong…they'll be on my tail!!

"What's the big deal?' asked Piccolo. "Just because she has the same hair, eyes and smile as him doesn't mean they're alike."

"How do you know?" snapped Chichi.

"Simple. I've been observing you ningen for quite a while and have found that even though not related, some look very much alike." Everyone nodded, very much convinced by what Piccolo said. Goku let out a silent sigh of relief, glad that they weren't onto him again. He at first thought that Piccolo was just saying that because he really didn't see what the big deal was. But when he looked at him, there was something in Piccolo's eyes that said something to him. And it said it loud and clear.

'I know the truth. You owe me one.'

Vegeta tossed over in his double bed, trying to suppress the flood of emotions. Gojita had been gone for a whole day. A whole twenty-four hours. He was used to her going to school, and going out training with Piccolo. But he had never spent a night away from his beloved. Part of him wanted to be angry, and curse the fact that he let her sleep out. But the other part wanted to cry. Weep at the loss of his chibi. He knew that she was safe at this person's house, but he couldn't help feeling like that. Even though she never actually slept by him, he always knew that she was close by so he knew she was safe. Each moment away from her was painful agony. His instinct told him to just fly over to her and hold her close, but he couldn't. For one, that'd mean he was being weak and he was giving into his emotions when he knew that she was okay and should anything go wrong, she could take care of herself. And for another, he didn't know where she was. He just let her go because he felt that if she wanted to go, she should. But now that he reflects back on it, it might've been a mistake.

Just like the stupid mistake I made of trusting that Earth-raised baka! He thought miserably. I hate him!! He lay on his back for a few moments, thinking over what he just said. Iie. I don't hate him. I could never hate him. He not only helped in combat, but he bore me a beautiful little girl. Even if he didn't really love me…

Vegeta sniffed as he remembered that terrible day:

~Flashback~

He sat on the side by the Capsule Corp gardens, fiddling with a red rose. Even though he was usually a proud ouji, arrogant and squasher of ningen emotions, right now he was feeling so happy, he wanted to sing! It had been three months now that he and Goku had been together, and he relished in every moment he spent with his koi. What am I saying 'koi' for? He wondered. Kakarot isn't only my koi…but my mate! He smiled happily at those words, twirling the rose in his fingers. My mate…he repeated, the words sending a shiver down his spine. He looked up to the moonless sky, now dotted with sparkling diamonds. Vegeta snorted. Feh! They can shine all they want! But they'll never compare to the glitter in Kakarot's eyes. He looked back down at the rose. Kakarot is so beautiful; he'd make this rose jealous. Hell, he'd make anything beautiful jealous because he is 'beauty' himself! Inside and out! Vegeta let out a happy sigh. He was so happy to have Kakarot by his side. Even though he was always there, he was even happier because Goku loved him for who he was.

At least, he thought so.

Goku came trudging along, looking a little nervous. But Vegeta didn't notice at first, as he was just glad his mate had showed up.

"Kakarot!" he whispered. Goku looked up nervously as Vegeta sauntered over to him. He took him by the back of his neck and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Goku returned the kiss, but it wasn't as passionate as it always was. In fact, Vegeta had begun to notice that little over a month a go; Goku had started to act very strangely. One minute, he was trying to resist Vegeta, and the next he was taking him with all the fiery passion he had ever had…which was a lot!! He pulled back, trying to ignore the simple little fact. He could feel nervousness and regret radiating off the younger, yet taller, saiyan but he chose to ignore the warnings it was sending. "I've been waiting for you." Goku nodded. "You said you had something to talk to me about." Goku nodded again.

"Hai…there is something."

"Well, come let's sit over there on the grass." He suggested. Vegeta took his hand and led them over to the sakura tree, the same one he proclaimed his love to Goku. He sat down and patted the grass next to him, indicating that he wanted Goku to sit next to him. He did so, but sat at a distance. Vegeta frowned at this, but shrugged it off and inched up until he was right next to him. He gently lay his head on Goku's shoulder and put his hand on his amazingly tight six pack stomach. He could feel Goku tense up and the nervousness increase, but he ignored the warnings again. They sat there for a few seconds.

"Uhh…Vegeta…"

"Shhh…" he whispered. "I just want to sit like this for a while. Onegai, Kakarot?" Goku nodded. He lay his head on top of Vegeta's and wrapped his one arms around him, holding him more closely then before. Vegeta relished in the quiet company and closed his eyes, hoping to savor the moment. In fact, every moment with Goku, he tries to savor. He snuggled closer to the warm heat of Goku's body, not wanting to let go. But this request was silently denied as Goku gently pushed him away. Vegeta was confused, but let him anyway.

"Vegeta…" he started. Vegeta frowned. Goku had never called him Vegeta. At least not for the past three months. This must be serious. He thought.

"Hai, Kakarot?"

"Umm…I've been doing some thinking." He said. "And I think we've been spending too much time together." His eyes widened, and then he laughed.

"Kakarot! Don't be silly." He said. "We only see each other three times a week."

"Yeah, and isn't that a lot for a mated couple?" he asked. Vegeta now frowned at this. Goku was acting very strange all of a sudden.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "Usual mated saiyan couple live with each other forever. Like husband and wife, as you so put it." Goku opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again. "Kakarot, what's wrong?"

"Well, Vegeta…I was just thinking that maybe…maybe…"

"Hai?"

"Well, thinking that maybe…I…I don't…"

"You don't what?" Goku opened his mouth a number of times and Vegeta could feel that his nervousness had increased ten-fold.

"I think we should stop seeing each other." He blurted out. Vegeta looked like he had just been slapped in the face.

"You…you think what??!" he asked calmly, but obviously shocked. Goku didn't repeat himself. He just looked down very guiltily at the ground. "But…Kakarot…why?"

"Because…I think Chichi's onto us."

"So what?" he asked, his voice getting louder. "That never bothered you before."

"Yeah but…"

"And I thought you always wanted to show that harpy that you've found someone else!"

"Hai, but…"

"Well? What is it Kakarot? Why must we stop seeing each other? Why? Just tell me…"

"Vegeta! I don't love you anymore!!" he yelled out. Vegeta stopped his ranting and stared at Goku, eyes wide in shock. Goku looked like he had just shot himself in the foot and Vegeta looked like Goku had just stabbed a knife through his chest.

"You…you what??!!" his eyes were wide, and his breathing started to quicken. "Iie…it…it can't be! It just can't!"

"Vegeta…"

"You're lying Kakarot!" he yelled, his chest now heaving up and down. "You love me! I know it!! You love me!!!"

"No, Vegeta." He said softly, trying to suppress the tears in his eyes. "Not anymore." Vegeta stared incredulously at the tall saiyan. His chest was now heaving heavily and his face was flushed. When Goku didn't say anything after that, he gazed down at the ground. He didn't know what to do. This was his love. His one true love telling him he didn't really love him.

"Kakarot…" he said weakly, pleading him to tell him that it wasn't true.

"Gomen nasai Vegeta." He whispered, taking a step towards the small, heavily breathing saiyan. "Demo…we can still be friends." He said, stretching out his hand to comfort him.

But Vegeta wouldn't have any of it. He violently slapped Goku's hand away. He took a step back, clutching his hand. He knew he had received worse from the same saiyan, yet this hurt so much more.

"Iie! I don't want to be friends! I don't want to be near you Kakarot!" he screamed, his pain and anger getting the better of him. "You come here," he said stepping closer as he pushed Goku back violently. "To tell me that you just want to dump me because you don't love me anymore! After all that I've revealed to you! After all the things we did together during the past three months!! You come here and tell me that it didn't mean anything to you!! When you KNOW that I love you!!!"

"Vegeta…" Goku tried to console him by taking his hand, but Vegeta snatched his hand back.

"Don't you dare touch me!!" he screamed as he slapped Goku across his face. Obviously Vegeta before had hit Goku far worse, but this time, this one really hurt. "I hate you, Kakarot!! Do you hear me!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!" he screamed into the night.

Silence then filled the air, and the only thing that could be heard was the quickened breathing of Vegeta. Goku stared at Vegeta, looking incredibly hurt. But Vegeta felt he was hurt even more. Without another word, and without a glance back, he took off back to Capsule Corp. He didn't even see the Earth-raised saiyan drop to his knees and weep bitterly.

Vegeta ran blindly through the house, up the stairs and to his room. Once he had slammed his door, he went mental! He completely trashed his room. He turned everything upside down and inside out. Nothing in his room went unharmed. Once he had finished, the room was completely littered with all his possessions. The chair by his computer was turned over as well as the desk. The computer had been knocked over and everything else had also been tossed around the room. But it made no difference in the end. All that he had done was relieve himself of the anger he felt. But the pain and hurt was still there. Unable to contain his emotions any longer, he dropped to the floor and cried. He cried and cried and cried until he was sure that there were no more tears left. But even then, there were still more.

The next morning, around about lunchtime, Bulma had told Trunks to go up to Vegeta's room to call him down to eat. Trunks ran up the stairs to his father's room. But when he tried to open the door, he found that it was practically blocked by junk. Forcing the door open, he was shocked to see the room all trashed and messy, and his father lying in the middle of it.

"Tousan!!" he called as he ran over to the sleeping man. But Vegeta was awake, he just didn't want to get up from where he had fallen and wept. He didn't want to get up from where he slept. He just didn't want to go on living. His eyes were puffy and red, and Trunks could see that it was him who had trashed the room. And that he had been crying. But Trunks didn't go down and tell his mother what had really happened. He just shut the door, went downstairs and told his mother that Vegeta said he wasn't hungry.

From that day on, things in Vegeta and Goku's life, had never been the same again.

~End Flashback~

He lay on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling as the tears streamed down his eyes as he replayed that night in his mind. It had been nearly six years, and he was still hurting. But he knew why. He truly did love the Earth-raised baka. Even after he screamed in his face that he hated him, he knew the truth. He still loved him, even after what he did. Many nights after that, he cursed the thing called 'emotion', and often wished that he was rid of it, even though he didn't really want to. But the night that he had met Gojita, he stopped the cursing. He had stopped the wishing of not showing any emotions and let himself be himself. Just like he was with Kakarot during those three months.

Vegeta sniffed, not bothered with the little rivulets of tears that were streaming down his eyes and soaking into his pillow.

"Baka…" he whispered into the night. "It's been six years, and I still love you." But Vegeta knew the truth. Even if eternity went by, he'd still love him.

Forever.