Videl's Frontier: Breakthrough
"What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets."
-Andre MalrauxWhat in the hell was that blasted bright bulb doing? Why is it so sharp, and piercing? Why can't I resist it? How can I make it go away?
The most viable solution, of course, was to shift her position; and shift her position she did, only to make the piercing brightness intensify much more, adding to her vexation. Clasping her eyelids shut as tight as possible, the young woman tried her utmost to literarily bore the light to death, rationalizing that if it got bored, it'd leave her alone. Eventually, she came to a disappointed realization that light did not possess sentience, and therefore, did not know how to be bored. Sighing lethargically, she pushed off her covers and swung herself around into a sitting position on her bed.
Wait a minute…bed? How in the world did Gohan manage to get something so soft in the middle of a goddamn forest?
Rapidly blinking away the sleep still threatening to engulf her once more, she stared out at her new surroundings. Awkwardly, there was not one thing that she laid her eyes upon that would give any indication that she was stranded in the middle of a dense forest. In fact, her surroundings were eerily familiar to a bedroom, a cozy one at that too.
Where the hell am I?
Deciding to assuage her perplexity, she walked around the room, observing the many items scattered throughout it. It was of an acceptable size, not too constricting and yet not too large, as was her own bedroom. Sometimes she felt as if her room was too empty, despite the fact that it was well furnished, because it seemed extremely ridiculous to house one person in such a huge structure; it amplified her emotional loneliness all the more, constantly reminding her of what fate had served her.
A wooden chest of drawers and a computer table, minus the computer, lined the wall adjacent to the bed. She supposed that it would be more appropriate to call it a writing desk, but obvious provisions were made for a computer, such as a space for the monitor and a sliding slab designed to accommodate the keyboard. Clothes were strewn about on top of the desk's chair counterpart, and some were scattered randomly on the desk itself. Two sliding doors opposite the desk marked the closet, which also had clothes lazily discarded in and about its vicinity.
Damn, if this is Gohan's room, then he is a big time slob! Wait a minute, this can't be his room, cuz we had an hours walk ahead of us. This must be some house he found on the way…but how did he get me here? Didn't I fall asleep before?
Those dangerous questions—for a teenage Saiya-jin at least—were temporarily put on hold as her sweeping eyes rested upon a framed photo. It was of the normal photo size, being neatly framed in an ornate gold casing—its intricacy strikingly beautiful—which, despite the room's slatternly condition, remained remarkably shiny. She picked it up in her hands, fingers trailing over the complex patterns slowly, as she marveled at its beauty. The photo depicted a man, who looked maybe in his early twenties, his jet black hair set in a rather wild array of gravity defying spikes, smiling broadly with a small boy in his arms, also mimicking the smile. The small boy had on a traditional flamboyant Japanese dress, yellow with a corresponding symbol, with an equally cute looking hat that had a strange orange orb on its tip.
They look so happy. I wish…forget it…I wonder who they are?
A tantalizing aroma permeated the air, its perfume wafting in her nostrils portraying an ambrosial feast in her mind's eye. Her stomach growled deeply in furious protest at being negated for so long, for she hadn't ate a decent meal since yesterday; lunchtime yesterday to be more precise. Gazing down at her tummy, she decided to put her shower plans on a temporary hiatus and walked out into the hallway. She glanced about, and finding nobody around, she walked towards the living area that she managed to make out at the denouement of said hallway. She cautiously stepped into the living room, taking slow deliberate steps, still searching the area for any recognizable face, or any human for that matter. Concluding that everyone must be in the kitchen from the deserted living room, she walked towards it, and incidentally, towards the alluring scent of food as well.
There was no door to the kitchen, it just kind of blended in from the living room, but it had a doorway to lead into it, which was pretty weird. Timidly she entered, only to find that it too was empty, save for a woman busily working away at the oven. She had dark hair tied up into a bun, and had on a traditional purple Japanese dress, but that was all she could make out from the woman's back. A faint humming emanated from her as well, surprisingly loud enough to be heard over the lively dissonance of pots bubbling, steam cookers whistling, and food being fried in oil.
"Excuse me," Videl asked softly.
The woman stiffened a little, but then shook her head a little later and resumed ladling something in a rather large pot.
"Excuse me," Videl said a little louder, this time making sure she could be heard over the ruckus.
This time she turned around and glanced towards Videl, and her slight frown quickly changed into a warming smile, "Oh Videl dear, so glad you woke up. Feeling any better?"
The woman's voice was tinged with a little concern, as she examined the petite girl in front of her, "Er, yeah a lot better, thank you very much."
"Oh, that's always good to hear! Well, well, I'll wager that you're starving right now."
Videl's stomach growled again at this, seemingly directing a desperate plea to its savior in purple. She blushed a little at her stomach's outburst and replied, "Yes, very. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon."
"Well, we can't have that can we? Go ahead and sit down, I'll let you eat before the boys arrive this time around." She reached over to a cupboard and pulled out a bowl, plate, and a set of chopsticks, placing them in front of the famished teen. She then went over to her steaming assortment of pots, heaping them out on to serving bowls which she also placed on the table in an orderly manner.
"Um, if you don't mind me asking, do you know me?" Videl was meaning to ask this before, when the strange woman mystically knew her name, but was swept into the conversation before she could say so.
"Oh of course dear, Gohan has said a great deal about you," the woman replied, still placing different dishes on to the table.
"Gohan?"
"Yes, Gohan. You know, spiky hair, a little naïve, about yay big," she placed her hand at a higher level than her head, and continued, "Don't tell me you forgot him already."
"No, no, what I meant was how do you know Gohan?" She looked at the woman, who now, was staring intently at her, when it struck her. "Oops, of course! You're his mother!" She smacked her head, obviously not believing her own naiveté.
"Yes, dear. I don't think you completely recovered from yesterday," said the mother, placing her hand on Videl's forehead checking for any signs of fever.
"No, Mrs. Son, I'm fine. Speaking of which, where is he anyway?"
"Oh just outside with his brother, they'd be coming in any moment, expecting to be fed." She chuckled, "Those two honestly haven't missed meal time in years! Oh yes, no formalities here, it's too…lets just say impersonal out here, you can call me Chi-Chi."
Videl smirked a little, "Yeah, Gohan can give a sumo wrestler a run for his money!"
"I'd advise you to start eating pretty soon. You wouldn't want to put your hand in there," gesturing to the variety of bowls strewn across the table, "When the two tornadoes start their rampage, you'd honestly be in danger of losing a hand or two otherwise."
Finally, much to the immense delight of her tortured stomach, she attacked the various dishes in front of her. "Thank you Mrs," and glimpsing at Chi-Chi's disapproving look, "I mean Chi-Chi, I really love your cooking. I almost always steal a sandwich or two from good ol' gullible Gohan over there."
The two women giggled a little, Chi-Chi beaming with pride, "Why thank you, it's hard enough to be out here by yourself all the time. So I decided to do something to keep me occupied, and cooking, was just what the doctor ordered."
Videl started to swallow large quantities of food rather rapidly, the first-rate quality of the cuisine not helping her stuffed esophagus, as she continued to ravage the various foods. She strained herself a little, to swallow, and Chi-Chi watched as a large lump that protruded out of her neck descended rather slowly downwards until it disappeared, only to give way to another lump that replenished the cycle and started back at the top.
"Wow, you must be really hungry."
"Mphhh," and after washing down the masticated remains of Chi-Chi's cooking with a large swig of water, she replied, "Um, yeah, pretty much. I think I look like Gohan eating now, don't I?" The two women burst into another set of giggles, Chi-Chi deciding that she liked this girl very much.
"Who looks like me?" The voice came from the kitchen doorway, with Gohan leaning against its sides a smile plastered on his face.
"A toad, the resemblance is uncanny."
"Hey!"
Videl chuckled again at Gohan's indignant protest, "It's true, it's true."
"I'll have you know that a toad once kissed turns into a revered Prince!" Gohan retorted, smirking a little as he entered their playful banter.
"That's a frog you moron."
"Toad, frog, same thing!"
"You, a nerd, are saying this? You, the biggest nerd of all, the nerdiest nerd of 'em all, the mother of all nerds, the royal King of nerds, the—," she was interrupted by Gohan's exasperated voice.
"Alright already, we get it!"
She smirked, "Hey don't interrupt me in one of my tirades!"
"Well, as you said, since I'm the King of all Nerds, then I can exercise my royal prerogative and chose to interrupt any of my subordinate subjects at any given time."
She sweat-dropped, a little confused, until she got the gist of it, "Hey, wait a minute, did you just…?"
"Yep."
"You're dead Gohan, I mean it! No one calls me a nerd and lives with it!" She bolted out of her seat after a rapidly retreating Gohan, who was also simultaneously laughing his ass off. He dashed madly out the front door and onto the vast green expanse ahead, running with no direction, intent to elude the raving mad girl on his tail, well, figuratively speaking of course.
He didn't want to surprise her that much by running faster than herself, for he suspected that she was probably the best track runner they have in school, heck, she probably topped the whole state. Suppressing his power, he kept his pace agonizing slow for himself, which, conversely, was a pretty fast sprint for Videl. She managed to catch up to him however, executing a perfect football tackle, aiming for the back of the knee. As she anticipated, his knees buckled and they both came crashing down onto the grassy clearing. Quickly darting on top of his body, she straddled his hips and pinned both his arms to the floor, while a red Gohan tried his hardest to subdue his laughter.
Videl had a triumphant smirk on her face as she exclaimed, "Gotcha!"
Between gasps of laughter, he managed to choke out, "S…Sor….Ha ha ha." He couldn't go through with it, and promptly burst into another fit of cachinnations, his stomach lurching up and down violently as Videl struggled to hold on to his arms while being jerked up and down. The strength of which she was being bounced around surprised her a little. His stomach muscles were very strong because they tossed around her weight like it was nothing, and this was an involuntary act also, only coming to being because he was laughing so hard. Watching his hilarious antics, Videl couldn't help but giggle with him; his laughter was contagious.
Soon he calmed down, still gasping for breath, while she smiled down at him.
"It wasn't that funny."
"The look on your face was priceless, Videl. Seriously, that was a Kodak moment if ever was one." He struggled with himself again, trying to repress another fit of hilarity that threatened to emerge once again.
She smiled at him again, still keeping his arms pinned, "Well, your still not gonna get away with it."
He looked back up at her, as partial shadows played in subtle blotches about her face, making it, if that was even possible, even more beautiful than before. But before he could reply, something akin to an earthquake rumbled in the distance. Actually, it wasn't so much into the distance, as it was coming from right beneath Videl.
She looked at him curiously, "Oh let me guess…that was the bottomless pit crying out for mercy?"
He smiled back at her rather sheepishly, something he did often, "Yeah, haven't eaten anything since breakfast!"
"Breakfast? You mean, I woke up at around lunch time?"
"Yah, I was getting worried there for a moment," he replied, causing her to blush a little. She let go of his arms, and gazed about the forest clearing, taking in the many sights and sounds.
"How did we get here, we were about an hour away when we crashed." She looked at him, and then her eyes widened a little as she observed him squirming beneath her, and she exclaimed a little loudly, "No WAY! Don't tell me you carried me for an hour to this house! That's, that's…impossible!"
"Well, I couldn't leave you there! You would of caught pneumonia or something!" He cried indignantly, in his defense, however stupid that might have been.
"You carried me for and hour?!" She stared at him in obvious disbelief, as Gohan realized the folly of his words before. He wanted to smack himself for uttering it out so foolishly.
Damn, now she thinks I'm a freak! Way to go Gohan, bravo! You single handedly managed to make the girl of your dreams freaked at you! You didn't even need extra help! Commendable, you stupid little…
"Um, sorry?"
"Oh my god, you big lug!" She smacked him on the head, "You should have woke me! You didn't need to go through all of that, just for me!"
"Yes I did, Videl, yes I did…" He spoke those words with utmost sincerity, leaving no room for argument, as he gazed up at her sapphire eyes.
She just wanted to bend down and kiss him, she was that flabbergasted at what he had done for her. To her, that was the most compassionate thing anyone had ever done for her after her unfortunate, and rather depressing, turning point in her life. She realized that in this man, lay all her hopes and ambitions of the future, a future where she was no longer alone and hurt, where she could love and be loved in return, no strings attached.
Too bad, that she was immensely petrified at the repercussions of such a move, because it was a make or break move and she wasn't ready to take that sort of risk. If the gamble worked, then she would be the happiest girl in the world, and her pain would recede into darkness, from which she'd march forth into a new age of emotional peace and happiness. But, if she didn't, she'd lose him, as all friendships that turn into failed romances have done, and she couldn't have that. Not when she was so close to him, not when they were learning so much about each other and especially not when he was becoming her only true confidant, where she can tell him anything, just to share the pain. She wasn't willing to risk it all, just yet.
"KIDS!! LUNCH!!" The official call for lunch had been made, and for a saiya-jin, that was like the allurement of a bug to bright neon lights.
Breaking out of their trance like states, both teens blushed crimson, as Gohan stuttered, "Er, Videl…Um, can you, um, get off?" She looked at him, a vacant stare still refusing to leave those otherwise twinkling cobalt eyes. He motioned a little with his arms, trying to get his point across to the zoned out girl, "Lunch…hungry…food…off…"
"Oh, yeah, I better go finished my plate as well." Still blushing at what Gohan did for her, she stood up and walked off towards the house. Gohan followed, looking tentatively at the petite girl, but although he tried, his sole attention was fixated upon the food lying in the kitchen, just waiting to be devoured.
They entered the kitchen, only to see little Goten already at the table, ravaging his plateful like a month-starved peasant. Videl shook her head slightly, mentally noting that this must be Gohan's little brother, because he definitely had Gohan's appetite, and, upon a quick search of her memory, appeared to be an exact identical miniature copy of the man in the photo.
"Oh Videl, this is my brother, Goten. Say hi Goten." Gohan commanded, rather than asked, the little ruffian.
"Phi!" Videl sweat-dropped, the boy definitely was Gohan's brother, because even the talking-while-food-in-the-mouth trait was evident. But, he sure was a cute looking one, eating habits aside.
"Hi. So your Goten, I heard a lot about you," she said sweetly. Gohan was a little astonished at the fact that she could talk to people in that tone as well, because that sure as hell wasn't the tone she used with most people in their school. But, he reminded himself, I haven't seen her talk to little kids either.
"Really! What did big brother say! I hope he didn't say that I was really nice and pretty and cool and nice and cool like he said about you. I hope he didn't say, muff—," that was about as far as Gohan would allow things to go, as he quickly clamped his hand over Goten's mouth. Videl looked at Gohan, a faint tinge of a blush once again pervaded his cheeks and he quickly stuttered out,
"Kids say the darndest things!"
She decided not to pursue it any further because Gohan's mother was still in the kitchen. She'd have other instances to pounce on him, and then, she would be relentless.
She sat down again to her plate, and Gohan took the seat opposite her, heaping on a considerable portion of food onto his plate.
And then, there was silence. Do not make false assumptions about this silence; this wasn't a comfortable, pleasant silence. On the contrary, there was a peculiar eeriness tangible, although, it was not like the uncomfortable silence associated with embarrassment, this was much more pervasive. The only metaphorical analogy that could be applied to this scenario was that of a storm, and its preceding silence that foreshadowed the events to come.
She didn't know when the actual transition took place, or when the silent barrier was transgressed, but she could attest to the fact that it had, as the rapid clicking and clanging of metallic cutlery meeting ceramic crockery testified. She only paused a moment to observe the scene in a mixture of awe and disgust, but when her own stomach couldn't stand the fact that she had made eating a spectator sport, she quickly started on her own meal.
For the next few minutes, a substantial amount of food kept disappearing from the serving bowls, and the intensity of some of the clanging had been gradually lessening to a degree. Soon, the dishes lay desecrated upon the table, empty of its edible contents, one by one being dumped into the washbasin by Chi-Chi. Satisfied at their afternoon meal, the two teens and one child decided to crash in the living room whist Chi-Chi tackled the massive mountain of dishes that had accumulated over the course of the meal.
"Oh man, I'm stuffed. I don't think I've ever pigged out so much on food before," complained Videl, holding her stomach as she lazily plopped down upon the sofa.
On the other hand, both Gohan and Goten had very satisfied looks plastered on their face, but they did not experience the same lethargy associated with over-eating, in fact, they were both walking around unhindered.
"Eh? Videl, wait 'till dinnertime! Me and Trunks eat twice as much!" Goten exclaimed, obviously perplexed at how someone could be stuffed by eating so little.
"What?" Videl was too, well, overstuffed, to argue with the child upon that point. "Who's Trunks?"
Gohan tried to stop her from asking the dreaded question, he really did.
"He's my bestest friend in the whole wide world! Me and him go everywhere together, and do everything together as well! But mommy says that he's sometimes a bad influence on me," his face scrunched up a little, "But she doesn't stop me from playing with him! But sometimes we get into trouble. But we have so much fun! Although, sometimes his dad yells at us, oh man, Vegeta yelling, that's a scary sight! Have you met Vegeta?" His face looked up at her expectantly, but before she could answer he continued on, "Of course not! But maybe Gohan will make you meet them, his mom too. She's cool, she makes lots of cool gadgets to play with. And sometimes," he leaned closer to her, whispering conspiratorially, "She gives us a double scoop of ice-cream, with hot fudge!" Videl laughed, amused at the several mood swings the little boy took in the duration of his answer. It was akin to watching a kaleidoscope of emotions.
"Wow Goten, it looks like you have a lot of fun with him." He smiled at her and sat down on her lap, deciding to inform her of the Infernal Duo's other, more conniving, adventures, which frequently earned the scorn of their authority figures.
"Once, Me and Trunks switched the salt with sugar! I mean…" he scratched his head confused, seemingly trying to remember something, hand on chin. Videl laughed again, the way he sat there, with his hand on his little chin, deep in thought, just had a cute comical effect to it. His effervescence was truly something to be adored, because it just fitted with his innocent, easy-going disposition.
"Oh yeah! We switched the sugar with the salt! Yeah, and Trunks' mother put it in her coffee, and spat it out all on Vegeta! He was so mad, that I think he broke the windows by just shaking."
Videl, of course, didn't take that last statement literarily. She smiled down at the bubbly guy, who, upon closer inspection, convinced her that he was the miniature version of the man in the photo. Gohan was watching the whole scene from the other couch, lazily flipping through channels on television set, with a bemused expression. Goten really could win over even the toughest of persons, namely, Videl.
"Hey, you wanna see something cool!"
She looked at him, still smiling, "Sure, what is it?"
"Wait right here!" He jumped off her lap and raced into the hallway, noisily rummaging through his stuff.
"Energetic kid," Videl commented, looking at Gohan.
"Man, it's weird. And you don't even want to know what happens to the cuteness and the innocence when he teams up with Trunks."
"Heh, I guess it can be that way with kids. One minute they're alone, and adorable, the next, they're with company, causing mass havoc."
"Um, Videl, don't you need to tell someone that you're somewhere?"
She laughed, "I personally don't care, however, I'm quite sure my father is raving mad at this point. I'm surprised news bulletins aren't all over the television asking for the whereabouts of "Hercule's daughter". Ah, I'll just call him up, where's the phone?"
Gohan looked about, and found the cordless lying around on the sofa. Picking it up he lobbed it to Videl, who in turn caught the flying communicator. Dialing in the number she rested the earpiece on the side of her head, waiting.
"Oh hi, is dad home?" Must be the servants, came Gohan's first thought.
A brief waiting period ensued, and she looked at him and rolled her eyes, making her boredom known.
"Dad…no…I mean…yes…A friend's…no…Dad…dad…dad…DAD WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN! I'm at a friend's house, and she had some problems, you know, family. So I decided to sleep over…no…yes…her phone wasn't working…me?…payphone…yes…evening…yes…bye…dad…bye…dad…" She took the phone off of her ear, and Gohan could hear a voice in a steady stream of admonishment, but before he could hear anymore, Videl just clicked the "talk" button again, effectively disconnecting.
"You just cut off your dad, isn't he gonna be even more pissed?"
"Who cares? Besides, I'll tell him I ran outta quarters." They both sniggered, until a hyperactive 7 year-old burst back into the living room.
"Look! Great Saiya-Man!" Videl stared at the green fellow for a while, he was tiny, a bike helmet on his head, and a rather large green gi enveloped his upper torso, making him look like a dangly version of Saiya-Man. Gohan burst out laughing, sniggering uncontrollably at Goten's attempt to copy Saiya-Man's attire with random household items.
He looked on, his bike helmet purple, and visor-less, a little hurt, "What? I look like Saiya-Man don't I?" His face fell, sadness creeping into his usual bubbly self, which tugged at Videl's heart overwhelmingly.
"Of course you do! For a minute there I thought you were the real deal!"
"Really?" A faint glimmer of hope surfaced in his eyes, as he studied Videl searching for any insincerity.
"Yah! How did you do it? You like exactly like him." Then she knitted her eyebrows feigning suspicion, "You're not the real Saiya-Man are you?"
Goten smiled, "No! But I could be!" He then looked at Gohan, who still was rolling around the living room carpet, clutching his sides in agony, "Hey, why is big brother laughing then?"
"That's because he saw himself in the mirror."
Goten, of course, didn't get it, and just looked on at his brother slightly confused. Finally calming down, Gohan got to his feet, still grinning broadly, "Hey! That was a cheap shot!"
"That's what you get for being so insensitive."
Gohan chuckled, "Tell me you didn't say that!"
She looked on at him, eyes twinkling, "Of course I did."
"You're the one who always goes on and on about how I'm too sensitive," he exclaimed, in mock exasperation.
"Well, I judged you wrong, you dweeb."
Goten picked this time, unfortunately, to mimic Saiya-Man's introduction poses. He jumped around comically, yelling at the top of his lungs, "The Defender of Incense, the Cupholder of Justice, I wear tight thongs, I free the Depressed, I am the GREAT SAIYA-MAN!!"
Silence. Until both teens burst out into fresh hysterics of hilarity, Gohan seeking refuge on the same couch as Videl, both writhing around in loud cachinnations.
"Defender of INCENSE!!! HAHAHAHA," Gohan exclaimed teary eyed.
"CUPHOLDER of Justice!!" Videl gasped, between bouts of hilarity.
"Tight thongs?!"
"Oh GOD!"
While both teens tried to subdue their wild laughter, Goten smiled on, encouraged by the response he got.
By the time both teens managed to desist their hysterical laughter, they had managed to get their faces mere inches apart. Videl, who was previously sitting at the end of the three-seater couch, lay down sideways in her oblivious state of laughter. Gohan, who was previously standing, couldn't resist his laughter anymore and plopped down on the same couch, both of their heads meeting somewhere around the middle cushion. They stopped their giggling, staring at each other in the confines of the couch. If either one of them moved an inch forward, their lips would meet in a gentle kiss. Their close proximity was undoubtedly inciting prurient thoughts in them both, as they continued to gaze deeply in each other's eyes, trying to see through to the soul.
Goten, however, had better things to do then wait for his brother and Videl to stop staring at each other, so he decided to take the incentive. Jumping on them both he yelled, "GREAT SAIYA-MAN to the rescue!" He effectively destroyed the dreamy moment they both shared for a few minutes, and jolted them both back into reality.
"Hey squirt, that hurt!" Gohan exclaimed, grabbing his ear.
"Videl, Saiya-Man will save you, from the evil…uh…staring man!"
Gohan turned a little red, remembering that he had been staring into Videl's eyes a few moments before, and without the purest of intentions mind you.
She smiled at him, a little annoyed that he had broken up a magical moment between her and Gohan, but she found out, like many others did, it was a task heralded as impossible to stay vexed at the little vagabond. "Hee Hee, now you only need to fly, and you can save me for real!"
Goten stared at her for a moment, then flashed her a grin, shouting, "Of course I can fly!" With that he levitated up into the air, towards the ceiling, and zipped around, all the time yelling, "HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!" (A/N-for some of the older teens around, anyone remember that line?)
She stared at him dumbfounded, utter incredulity marring her beautiful features, not wanting to believe what she had just seen.
"He…He can fly?"
Gohan slapped his forehead, muttering something about suicide and kid's conspiring to kill him, all the time shaking his head slowly.
Why me?
(A/N- Man! I just realized something while going over some of my reviews! For all this time, approximately a week or so, I had this nagging feeling that I forgot something, or that I missed something, you know, the daunting feeling you get. Then, as two observant reviewers commented, I forgot to put the little note at the end of the fifth chapter! So in the succeeding narrative will be the points on which I wished to discuss, back at the conclusion of the fifth chapter.
YES! The robbery scene was inspired from the motion picture SNATCH. I incorporated that whole scene because where I live, Toronto, Canada, most of the people that I talked to, even acquaintances, haven't seen that movie! I think that it is the most heinous of crimes not to watch that movie. It is, perhaps, the most hilarious movie I have ever seen, and trust me, I've had my fair share of movies, as my bank account will vigorously attest to. I saw that movie more than a year ago, when it was released, but I still meet people today who haven't even rented it! So go watch it, if you haven't already, that short excerpt was meant to inspire you to go and watch it. It stars Brad Pitt, and is eerily reminiscent to those movies with gritty British cinematography, but don't let that deter you, because it is absolutely hilarious. Man, and to think, they didn't even pay me to advertise…damn it…
Oh yeah, a reviewer suggested that I asterisk any words that seem to be, well, words that only articulate readers would understand. Well, fanfiction.net has answered all your prayers! The new dictionary feature enables you to get a quick dictionary definition of the word, just highlight it and tap the D key. It would be extremely impractical for me to go about asterisking "complicated" words, then providing a corresponding dictionary definition at the bottom. Because if I took the average vocabulary of the under-achiever, then the whole fic would be riddled with asterisks, and if I took the vocabulary of the more eloquent readers, such as the person who suggested this, then the fic would have almost no asterisks and would defeat the whole purpose. I personally can't distinguish which words to be asterisked or not, and go about looking them up in a dictionary to write down its definition. All hail the dictionary feature.
On to the funny, cynical, quote of the day.)
" 'I am,' is reportedly the shortest grammatically sound sentence possible in the English language, 'I do,' sure as hell is the longest!"
-Anonymous
(My memory deceives me, and I can't be bothered to look this up. So, for now, it's accredited to 'anonymous' until someone can tell me otherwise.)
