Title: Unprecedented (chapter 1)
Author: Lyns
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my storyline.
A/N: picks up after Seeing Red.kinda.its hard to explain.Basically everything up to Seeing Red is as it was on the show but then my imagination takes over. just read and you'll see what I mean. I suck at explaining.
Distribution: Just ask first. Thanks.
Feedback: go for it. Nothing makes me feel more complete (
Summary: Things are changing, how will everyone deal?
#*#*#*#*#*#
'Ugh' Buffy thought as she stood up slowly and wiped her face on a cool cloth. Damn morning sickness. 'If this keeps up people are going to guess what's going on in no time. Not that I really have all that much time left before I'll start to show anyway. And its not like I can hide it forever, they're going to have to know eventually.'
Just the thought of it made Buffy think she might be sick again. At around four months along she was lucky not to be showing already, although if a particularly observant person actually looked close enough they would probably notice a very slight bump beginning to grow where a month ago there had been nothing but flat muscle.
She wasn't even sure why she was trying to hide it anymore. It would be different if she was still considering her options but she had been there done that and seen the inside of the sterilized treatment room. It was not something she wanted to think about again any time soon.
Upon first discovering her pregnancy she had, without thinking, and in a state of numb detachment, booked an appointment to have it aborted as soon as possible. Upon arriving at the clinic however she suddenly realised what she was doing. Killing a life, killing something real, killing a part of her. Killing a part of him. The only part of Spike that was truly alive and she was going to get rid of it. She upped and ran and hadn't looked back since. Hadn't considered why the thought of ridding herself of Spike's child had filled her with a kind of dread and fear akin to knowing that she was going to die. Worse than that even. At least then she knew she had reasons for doing what she did, not like now.
So really all this avoiding wasn't doing anyone any good. It was just putting off the inevitable. Putting off that moment when Xander would undoubtedly storm out and not speak to her for a week, the moment when Willow would just sit in silence until Buffy thought her head might implode, the moment when Dawn would try desperately to hide her excitement upon seeing the torture and agony etched onto her sisters face. And avoiding the moment when it all becomes real and there's no going back.
#*#*#*#*#*#
Sunnydale. Land of sun. Why the hell he kept returning was beyond him, the Hellmouth wasn't enough to hold his interest anymore and there was no other reason for him to seek out this place time and again.
Actually, that wasn't strictly true. There was a reason; he just didn't like to think about it. Didn't like to think about her, because thinking about the girl he so desperately loved meant thinking about what he had done to her and that just led to considering how fate had royally screwed him when he had tried to find a way to make the constant dull ache in his chest go away.
All he wanted was to be back to his good old self. Be the person he was when he got the name Spike, be the big bad again, make her see that he wasn't just some dumb ass lap dog, that he could kill and maim and torture people with railroad spikes again if he really wanted to.
Well, now that's out the window.
'Stupid sodding soul' Spike thought to himself as he wandered through the cemetery to see what state his crypt had fallen into during his time away. Seemed like just yesterday he had ridden out of this hellhole with a promise to himself to give the slayer what she deserved.
Now here he was, with a soul he never really wanted, a hole in his chest so big he thought it might go on forever and the memory of the thousands of people he'd killed throughout the years burning on his brain.
He walked up to the place he had been calling home for the past few years and paused outside the heavy door.
"Here goes nothing," he said to himself and slowly pushed it open.
At the site of numerous half burnt candles, the dust covered old television and a sweater Buffy had left here many months ago, a sudden wave of memories hit him.
Himself and Buffy that last time on top of the sarcophagus.
Their first real kiss, no smoke or magic, just Buffy, pretending to be the Buffy-bot of course, but still Buffy and himself and a slow delicate kiss that meant the world to him.
The time she'd trusted him enough to let him handcuff her and have his way with her until she finally dragged herself off to work.
Then the moment that changed it all.
'Goodbye William'
The words shook him even now. He'd heard her little 'it's over' speech a thousand times, thought he knew her well enough to be sure that she'd never really put a n end to it, but she did. She turned and left and refused to admit any shred of real feelings for him.
And here he was again, the scene of so many passion filled nights and angry brawls and all he wanted was for it all to be like it was. Before soldier boy came back and waved his perfect little life right under his slayer's nose and made her realise what she was missing, what she could never have with Spike.
He had to see her.
Had to talk to her, touch her.but he couldn't. He wouldn't. Not now. Not after.what he did.
Instead he'd just have to sit and wallow in his own misery and self- loathing with his good old buddy Jack D.
Author: Lyns
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my storyline.
A/N: picks up after Seeing Red.kinda.its hard to explain.Basically everything up to Seeing Red is as it was on the show but then my imagination takes over. just read and you'll see what I mean. I suck at explaining.
Distribution: Just ask first. Thanks.
Feedback: go for it. Nothing makes me feel more complete (
Summary: Things are changing, how will everyone deal?
#*#*#*#*#*#
'Ugh' Buffy thought as she stood up slowly and wiped her face on a cool cloth. Damn morning sickness. 'If this keeps up people are going to guess what's going on in no time. Not that I really have all that much time left before I'll start to show anyway. And its not like I can hide it forever, they're going to have to know eventually.'
Just the thought of it made Buffy think she might be sick again. At around four months along she was lucky not to be showing already, although if a particularly observant person actually looked close enough they would probably notice a very slight bump beginning to grow where a month ago there had been nothing but flat muscle.
She wasn't even sure why she was trying to hide it anymore. It would be different if she was still considering her options but she had been there done that and seen the inside of the sterilized treatment room. It was not something she wanted to think about again any time soon.
Upon first discovering her pregnancy she had, without thinking, and in a state of numb detachment, booked an appointment to have it aborted as soon as possible. Upon arriving at the clinic however she suddenly realised what she was doing. Killing a life, killing something real, killing a part of her. Killing a part of him. The only part of Spike that was truly alive and she was going to get rid of it. She upped and ran and hadn't looked back since. Hadn't considered why the thought of ridding herself of Spike's child had filled her with a kind of dread and fear akin to knowing that she was going to die. Worse than that even. At least then she knew she had reasons for doing what she did, not like now.
So really all this avoiding wasn't doing anyone any good. It was just putting off the inevitable. Putting off that moment when Xander would undoubtedly storm out and not speak to her for a week, the moment when Willow would just sit in silence until Buffy thought her head might implode, the moment when Dawn would try desperately to hide her excitement upon seeing the torture and agony etched onto her sisters face. And avoiding the moment when it all becomes real and there's no going back.
#*#*#*#*#*#
Sunnydale. Land of sun. Why the hell he kept returning was beyond him, the Hellmouth wasn't enough to hold his interest anymore and there was no other reason for him to seek out this place time and again.
Actually, that wasn't strictly true. There was a reason; he just didn't like to think about it. Didn't like to think about her, because thinking about the girl he so desperately loved meant thinking about what he had done to her and that just led to considering how fate had royally screwed him when he had tried to find a way to make the constant dull ache in his chest go away.
All he wanted was to be back to his good old self. Be the person he was when he got the name Spike, be the big bad again, make her see that he wasn't just some dumb ass lap dog, that he could kill and maim and torture people with railroad spikes again if he really wanted to.
Well, now that's out the window.
'Stupid sodding soul' Spike thought to himself as he wandered through the cemetery to see what state his crypt had fallen into during his time away. Seemed like just yesterday he had ridden out of this hellhole with a promise to himself to give the slayer what she deserved.
Now here he was, with a soul he never really wanted, a hole in his chest so big he thought it might go on forever and the memory of the thousands of people he'd killed throughout the years burning on his brain.
He walked up to the place he had been calling home for the past few years and paused outside the heavy door.
"Here goes nothing," he said to himself and slowly pushed it open.
At the site of numerous half burnt candles, the dust covered old television and a sweater Buffy had left here many months ago, a sudden wave of memories hit him.
Himself and Buffy that last time on top of the sarcophagus.
Their first real kiss, no smoke or magic, just Buffy, pretending to be the Buffy-bot of course, but still Buffy and himself and a slow delicate kiss that meant the world to him.
The time she'd trusted him enough to let him handcuff her and have his way with her until she finally dragged herself off to work.
Then the moment that changed it all.
'Goodbye William'
The words shook him even now. He'd heard her little 'it's over' speech a thousand times, thought he knew her well enough to be sure that she'd never really put a n end to it, but she did. She turned and left and refused to admit any shred of real feelings for him.
And here he was again, the scene of so many passion filled nights and angry brawls and all he wanted was for it all to be like it was. Before soldier boy came back and waved his perfect little life right under his slayer's nose and made her realise what she was missing, what she could never have with Spike.
He had to see her.
Had to talk to her, touch her.but he couldn't. He wouldn't. Not now. Not after.what he did.
Instead he'd just have to sit and wallow in his own misery and self- loathing with his good old buddy Jack D.
