"Andrew ...?" Xander's voice was heavier, thicker than it usually was, as though there was something on his mind.

Andrew swiveled on the couch, away from the frozen image on the screen, and stared. There wasn't anything physically different about Xander, of course; the same slightly rumpled T-shirt, the same loose blue jeans, the same ruffled dark hair and large, expressive dark eyes ... they glinted now with an emotion Andrew wasn't sure he could put a name to, but one which made his heart thump in his chest.

"X-Xander?" Andrew stammered.

"I can't hold it in any longer," Xander said in a low voice. He crossed the room and leaned with his palms against the couch, his face inches away from Andrew's. His breath smelled of chocolate, his body of cologne and sweat. He made Andrew tingle all over.

"Hold what in?" Andrew asked, the blush creeping into his cheeks as his eyes opened as wide as they'd ever been and he stared into Xander's warm brown eyes. Warm brown, but dark ... dark, like chocolate, like good coffee, like ... like sweet, hot mochaccino.

"I can't take it any longer," Xander said, leaning even closer. He laid one warm hand on Andrew's shoulder and drew him in. He was close - very close - and beautiful - and strong. "I love you. I want you. I want you more every minute."

"Oh, Xander," breathed Andrew, "but how can it work?"

"I couldn't stand for the First to take us, for one of us to die, without the truth being spoken," Xander said seriously. His presence made every hair on Andrew's body stand on end, he was so close now, so close and so masculine, and yet so sensitive, so tender ... "And I love you. I want to be with you. I don't know how long I've known, but I do know we can't be apart, not any longer."

Andrew felt the tears coming, tears from a joy so beautiful he couldn't express it. "Oh, Xander, and I love you!" he exclaimed breathlessly. "I can't tell you how long I've been waiting for this moment!"

Xander ran his fingers tenderly through Andrew's springy hair. "We were meant to be," he said softly. "We have so much in common ..."

"Yes!" Andrew exclaimed. "Yes, we *do*! Oh, please -- don't torture me any longer, darling -- kiss me!"

Xander merely gazed at him for a long moment, his dark eyes brimming with emotion, before he found Andrew's mouth with his own for love's sweetest kiss.

And then he was gone. There was nothing. He was alone, and Xander was still in the bathroom.

Andrew clung to the side of the couch, his eyes wide. "I have to stop this," he whispered. "I can't keep letting my imagination get away with me." He shook his head to clear it and then buried his face in his hands, breathing deeply through his fingers. It had felt so real. It was so unfair. Xander would never look at him that way ... Xander would never touch him that way ... Xander would never want to ...

Those were Anya's looks, Anya's caresses, Anya's kisses. Andrew had seen that himself. And although it seemed as though they were over now, then maybe those looks, those caresses, those kisses, maybe they'd go to another girl. Some caring, intelligent, ravishing woman with excellent taste to match Xander's own who would appreciate him for what he was, for the wonderful, beautiful, caring, intelligent, humorous, sensitive, responsible, tasteful, talented, absurdly perfect man that Xander could be. And if Xander found that woman, to love him and care for him, well, Andrew couldn't begrudge him that.

"Andrew ...?"

Andrew looked up. Xander had come out of the bathroom and was peering at him with an expression of concern.

"You okay, bud?"

That's right, bud. We're friends, Andrew thought. I love being Xander's friend. Even if I can't be anything else for him, it will be wonderful when I can be his friend. "I'm fine," he said, smiling meekly at him. "Just a bit of a headache."

"Want some aspirin?" Xander asked, leaning on the back of the couch.

Andrew paused for a moment, remembering the surreal reality of his daydream, and then he smiled again and shook his head. "That's okay, I'll be all right."

"Okay, if you say so," Xander said, climbing over the back of the couch to hop back onto his corner of it. "Shall we?"

"Go ahead," Andrew said.

He let out a long breath as Xander unpaused the episode of Enterprise. Damn his imagination for being so cruel to him ...

... oh, but bless it, bless it for being so sweet!