puHow Do You Heal a Broken Heart? part 3 Rating: PG

June 1987

Max. . . It was a long drive. Made a little longer by the fact that Jordan wasn't really talking to anyone. She just stared out the window most of the time. At least she seemed to be handling things ok ~ who'd really expect a 17- year-old to chat with a group of "old folks" for hours on end. All in all she seemed pretty healthy. And she was at least eating when we'd stop for food.

We finally got to Gatlinburg, where we'd spend the night before starting up the mountain the next day. It was a cute little town ~ some really neat craft shops nestled in between such touristy things as "Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum" and "Hauntings" and other "museums." We had dinner in this wonderful restaurant that was built like an old National Park lodge and then headed back to the rooms to get some sleep. Jordan flopped down on the bed and flipped on the TV.

"Sweetheart? Are you ok? All ready for this adventure?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, my boots are all broken in. I've got my backpack all packed ~ I don't think it's too heavy. We've got our water bottles all filled up and plenty of trail snacks. Yeah. I think I'm all set." It was the most I'd heard out of her at one time the whole trip.

"Ok. And otherwise. . .?"

"You mean about Michael?"

"Well. . . Yeah, sweetheart. You haven't really talked about it, and I just want to make sure that. . ."

"I guess I'll live. It's not like we were going to go to college together anyway. Besides, I don't think he could handle having a heart surgeon for a wife ~ he seems like the kind of person who wants to take care of his wife."

"That's sensible. But. . ."

"It still hurts, Daddy. But I'll be ok." With or without this stupid hiking trip.

"Alright, baby. I just want to make sure you're ok."

"Ok. You think we should get some sleep? I mean, do we really know what Sam has in store for us?"

"Sleep would probably be good. Sam's been doing this for years, and I know Leslie's done it with him before. He said it's not the hardest trail ~ and it's supposed to be really pretty with a waterfall and everything."

"Yay."

"Jordan. . ."

"I mean the everything part. Everything including bears!"

"I don't think we have to worry about them. If we see any cubs, just make sure to leave them alone and don't get between them and their mother."

"Right. But if we can't see her, how do we know where she is? It's not like we can ask them where their mom is. What if we keep walking and accidentally go in between them?"

"Jordan, I think you're over-thinking this. It's going to be a nice couple of days in the woods. And don't forget what Sam has said about the lodge at the top."

"Yeah, yeah. Double bunk beds with wool blankets. Hot chocolate and cookies when we get there. Roast beef for dinner. And they put in porta- johns a couple of years ago."

"Sweetheart, please try not to sound so excited." It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud at her, but I knew that would only get her upset.

"Sorry Dad. I'm tired, but is it ok if I set the sleep timer on the TV?"

"Sure baby. I'll see you in the morning. Good night. I love you!"

"I love you too, Daddy."

So the immediate crisis seems to have passed with the Michael thing. The part about her feeling stupid for falling in love still bothers me, but that could have been a reaction to the emotion of the moment. We'll see. Guess I'd better get some sleep.

In the morning, we got up, got ready and went to the Pancake Pantry for breakfast. It was good, and before we knew it, we were headed into the Great Smoky Mountains National Park to start our adventure. We hit the Rainbow Falls trail and started walking.

It didn't seem that bad at first, but then the realization that we'd gone from around 0 feet above sea level to around 3000 feet above sea level and still had 3500 feet to climb over 6.7 miles hit. In spite of my training with the force and Jordan's jogging, we were soon breathing hard and had to take a break. Finally I told Sam and Mary to go on ahead and we'd catch up with them at some point. I wasn't sure how fast I could take it, and I didn't want to push Jordan too much. After a while, we figured out a nice steady pace and made good progress. Around 11:30, we reached the falls and found Sam and Mary waiting for us. We all decided to eat lunch there, and then they took a fantastic picture of Jordan and me in front of the falls ~ I don't know where that's gotten to. After a brief rest to let the food settle, we started hiking again. It wasn't long before Sam and Mary were far ahead of us again.

Jordan and I didn't talk a lot on the trail, just little things here and there. As we kept climbing, we'd encounter other hikers, some of whom were obsessed enough to go up one trail and down another in one day. At one particular steep section of the trail, we met a man who said we "only" had about a mile and a half to go before we reached LeConte Lodge. The "only" came from Jordan who turned around and gave me a look like she wasn't at all sure she appreciated me getting her into this. We took a brief snack and water break and got ready to head up the trail. As we got up off the rocks, I noticed an expression of something resembling pain cross Jordan's face.

"You ok, sweetheart?"

"I don't really have a choice do I? I mean, we either go up or down, and since the keys to the van are probably at the top of the mountain, I don't see down as being a viable option."

"So that means you're not?"

"Dad, my inner thighs are killing me. My legs hurt. But let's just keep going."

"Ok." So we kept on climbing. At one point, her feet were dragging a little and she tripped over a rock and stumbled forward. "Watch it, sweetheart. Watch it."

"Daddy, when I'm already falling and on the ground it doesn't really do a lot of good to tell me to watch it."

"You're right, Jordan. I'm. . ." But she was already up and going. Finally we reached the turn off to head up to the lodge. "Look, honey. We're almost there. Only six tenths of a mile to go."

"Yeah. Fine." She didn't sound enthused, and as I followed her gaze, I didn't have to wonder why. I wasn't even sure how excited I was with this prospect. The hill wasn't quite straight up and down, but it was pretty close.

We started up the last bit, and it went slower than anything we'd done so far. I didn't want to push Jordan, but I knew we needed to get up to the lodge soon. She'd go 25-50 yards and take a breather. I thought maybe a reminder of food would be helpful. "Just think of the roast beef dinner that's waiting for us at the top, Jordan. Let's go, sweetheart."

"Daddy, at this point, you could tell me Tom Cruise was waiting at the top to give me a full body massage and it wouldn't make me go any faster." But she did turn and continue up the hill.

Finally we made it to the lodge and settled into the cabin we would share with Sam and Mary. I think he'd originally been planning for more people to come, so we ended up with a cabin for 12, which gave us plenty of room to spread out. Jordan plopped down on the floor and put her feet up on the wall in some kind of stretch she'd learned in a section on yoga from gym class. Pretty soon it was time for dinner, which was just as good as Sam had promised. After dinner, Sam, Mary and I decided to climb an additional two tenths of a mile to Cliff Tops for the sunset. Jordan opted to get some more hot chocolate and stay on the cabin's porch to watch the sunset from there. I wasn't totally sure about leaving her alone, but I knew her legs probably wouldn't take any more that day, and she seemed content to look out over the mountains and drink her hot chocolate.

When we got back, she wasn't at the cabin and I started to panic when Sam motioned for me to be quiet. The sound of a guitar and a strong alto voice drifted through the air. We followed it and found Jordan sitting on the main lodge's porch, playing an old guitar and singing with a small audience gathered around her. Sometimes I took her voice for granted ~ she really was talented. After an hour or so, we decided to head back to the cabin and make sure our kerosene lanterns were lit and begin to get ready for bed.

At some point in the night, I heard the door to Jordan's room open followed by footsteps across the floor. I heard a door open, and assumed she'd needed to go to the bathroom. When several minutes passed and there was no sound of her returning, I started to get worried. We hadn't seen any bears on the way up, but that didn't mean they weren't out there. What if. . .? I decided to go and see if I could find her.

When I got to the door that led outside, I noticed that the door was still locked, then turned and saw that the door to the porch was the tiniest bit ajar. I opened it slowly and found Jordan sitting on the porch railing. Her chin was resting on her knees and she was gazing at the stars. I wasn't sure how to proceed, since the porch was about 14 feet off the ground where she was sitting and I didn't want to startle her.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, sweetheart. You ok?"

"Yeah. Come here and look at the stars. They're so beautiful right now." I moved over towards her perch. She was right ~ the stars were beautiful.

"Yeah they are. It looks like you could almost touch them."

"Yeah. If only. . . Daddy?" She leaned into my chest and I automatically encircled her in my arms.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think she can see me?"

"I do, Jordan. I think she's watched over you every single day ~ she always will." Finally I felt her relax into my hug.

"I miss her. I wish she was here to talk to. I mean, you're great and all, but there are just some things. . ."

"That you need a mother for. I know. And I wish to God that she was still here. I miss her too, sweetheart."

"I know, Daddy. Oh ~ shooting star!" She was right, at that moment the brightest shooting star I'd ever seen flew across the sky.

"Better make a wish."

"Don't need to."

"What?"

"I've got you for my dad. All you care about is my being happy. Who else has a father who would drag her up a mountain to help heal a broken heart? Seriously, Daddy, what more could I possibly wish for?"

"Nothing, I guess." And I knew that there was nothing else I could wish for than that moment on that porch. We just sat there for a while longer, gazing at the stars and just being with each other. With her starting college, I didn't know how many more of these moments we'd have.

The next morning, we woke to fog ~ they don't call them the Great Smoky Mountains for nothing. We got our stuff packed up and headed to the dining room for breakfast. It was a typical country breakfast ~ pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuits, and grits. I won't even bother remembering what Jordan said about those ~ it wasn't very complimentary. I didn't think they were that bad, but Jordan's Jordan.

One of the workers came over to see how we were doing and asked what our plans were for going down. We'd planned to go down the same trail we came up, but he suggested that we go down the Bullhead Trail. It was a little longer, but it did end up at the same parking lot. He said that even without the falls, he thought it was a much prettier trail.

He was right. The trail was beautiful. I'm not sure how much of it Jordan saw. In spite of her stretching the night before, her calves kept locking up, which made the trip down as painful as the first, if not more. With about a mile to go, I took her pack so she could focus on walking. We made it back to the van, and she collapsed in tears, as much from the emotion of the night before as her physical exhaustion ~ but the fact that we'd done it together obviously was something that stuck with both of us for a long time.

Present day. . .

I realized that Jordan had fallen asleep in my arms, so I slid her back down under the covers and gently pulled the door almost shut before I headed to my room to get ready for bed. All the similarities between then and now were tumbling around in my mind. And yet things were different too. . .

I'd been right in my assessment that we might not have that many moments like that one on the cabin's porch that night. But I never forgot a second of it. And I get the feeling that Jordan hasn't either. One time we'd gone to visit my sister at the beach and were out walking at night when a shooting star blazed across the sky. It wasn't as bright as the one on the mountain, but Jordan turned and gave me a smile as she squeezed my hand. Somehow that time on the mountain gave her what she needed to heal her broken heart ~ that time.

. . .to be continued. . .