How Do You Heal A Broken Heart?
Phone Calls and Cases
Rating: PG-13
In Los Angeles. . .
Woody. . . Damn it, where is she? For a week, I've tried her cell, no answer; her home, no answer; her work, no answer. I'm beginning to get the distinct impression she's ignoring me. Or avoiding my calls. I really need to talk with her. I know how I left was wrong, but. . . There's no but. I was a jerk. Maybe I'll just try the morgue's main number and ask for her. I mean, it's not like the receptionist will remember my voice. Yeah. That's it. . .
"Massachusetts Medical Examiner's Office. How may I help you?"
"Hello. May I please speak with Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh?"
"One mom-. . . Woody? Is that you?"
Shit. "Um, yeah. It is. . ."
"It's Lily. Emmy was sick today so we're all taking turns covering the phone ~ well, I'm doing most of it."
"Oh. I see. Well, is. . ." I heard a distinct shuffle and struggle in the background. Maybe Jordan had heard my name and Garret or someone heard her and was trying to make her get on the phone. I could hope, right?
"Woodrow. What are you doing?"
Great, it was Nigel. "Um, well, I was calling to talk with Jordan and. . ."
"Uh uh. No way."
"What? Is she not there?"
"No, fortunately she's out on a case, but you wouldn't be talking to her anyway. I'm not going to let you. You have no idea the mess you left behind."
"All I did was. . ."
"I mean, it's not like what she left last year what with the D.A. investigating her father. But the emotional fallout hasn't been pretty. We've had our hands full around here between the cases and helping her cope with everything. Max said that he hasn't seen her like this since. . ."
Oh God. What had I done? I heard someone else in the background and before I knew it Garret was on the phone.
"Hoyt, what the hell are you doing? I haven't worked like hell to keep Jordan here in spite of what a lot of people on the force and in the D.A.'s office would like to see happen only to have her fall apart because just when she finally started to open herself up to someone emotionally he up and leaves for a swanky new job in Los Angeles with only a note in the mail."
"I just didn't. . ."
"Didn't know how to tell her? How about something like 'Jordan, I've gotten an offer for a job in Los Angeles and would like to talk with you about it?' You don't think that would have worked?"
"I was afraid to. I. . . I didn't want to see the look on her face. I was chicken-shit about it, I know. I just want to talk with her and maybe straighten things out."
"What's to straighten? You're there and she's here."
"I just. . ." I'd never heard Garret this angry. I knew he cared about Jordan like a big brother does for his little sister, but I had no idea he'd be this upset. I guess I made things even worse than I'd imagined.
"Even if she was here, there's no way I'd let you talk to her. Between Max and Dr. Stiles and myself we've managed to get her back on an even keel and I'm not about to let you wreck that."
"But. . ."
"Why don't you give me your number and when we feel she's up to it and she feels like it I'll have her give you a call?"
"Well, I guess so." Feeling lower than scum, I gave him my information.
"Alright. I've got it. Enjoy the sunshine. Good-bye Hoyt." And I heard the phone click and the line go dead.
What had I done? What was I thinking when I ran out like that? Woody, you are an idiot and a jerk. You knew how much it took for Jordan to open up to you like she did. What did you think she was going to do when she got the letter? Hop on the first plane out here and bring you back home again? Yeah, I guess maybe I thought that she. . . Damn it, why was I such a chicken-shit idiot?
Back in the morgue. . .
"Guys, don't you think you were a little hard on him?"
"Lilliput, have you not seen the same Jordan we have walking around for the past couple of weeks?" Nigel was looking at her incredulously.
"Well, yes. But can you blame Woody for taking a job to better himself, especially when he wasn't able to get any promotions here in Boston?"
"Lily, we don't blame him for taking the job. We blame him for the way he left. The running out in the middle of the night and mailing ~ not leaving it in her apartment for her to find, not calling her from the airport even, and especially not talking with her in person ~ mailing the note to her. Would she have let him go? Probably. I've known Jordan for several years now. She would have said something about how he couldn't pass an opportunity like this up and he should go and take it. That he'd be stupid not to. She would have driven him to the airport herself. Yes, she would have been upset about him leaving, but she wouldn't have stood in his way. And she wouldn't have gone into the tailspin we're just beginning to pull her out of."
"Oh. I see your point now. I hadn't thought of it that way. So I'm guessing I'm not to tell Jordan that he called?"
"Exactly. I told him the truth. I have his phone numbers and when she's ready, I'll give them to her and she can make the decision to contact him. I only hope he'll stop trying to call her house and her cell. Thank God she's got caller ID for both those lines. Now, let's get back to work and keep things as normal as we can."
Back in Los Angeles. . .
Woody. . . Ok, so I'm an idiot! A chicken-shit idiot. I move out here for this job with Sunset Division and they've got me stuck inside doing paperwork. I could have stayed in Boston and done paperwork. I know I should be grateful that I got offered a job inside, especially not being local, and Owens keeps telling me that something will come my way, I just have to be patient. But now knowing how badly I hurt Jordan, I mean really knowing, I'm beginning to wish that I'd just stayed put.
I know I promised Garret that I wouldn't call, but maybe just one more try. Maybe I can help her understand why. . .
"Pogue Mahone."
Shit! What number did I. . .? Oh crap! I hit 5 rather than 2 on my speed dial.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
Right, gotta say something. "I'm sorry, I think I. . ."
"Hoyt? What the hell are you doing calling here?"
"Max, I was just. . ."
"You leave my girl in the middle of the night, send her a note and then call here and try to act like it's a wrong number?"
"I didn't mean to. . . Max, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. . ."
"That you'd hurt her like you did? Let me tell you something about Jordan. She has this tough exterior that she's built up to protect herself from being hurt when she loses someone like she did her mother. If you get inside, that shows a huge amount of trust on her part. And you had gotten inside. I think the only other people who she's ever allowed inside that shell like she did you are Garret and myself."
"I. . ."
"Hoyt, it's been a long time since I've seen Jordan like she's been these past couple of weeks. And I've got to tell you, I don't like it. When she got your note, it took every ounce of restraint I have in my body to not get on the next plane to Los Angeles. But then I thought better of it and decided that getting myself arrested was not what she needed right now. I had to think of Jordan. Which is why I'm going to tell you as nicely as I can that I don't want you to call here, to call my house, or especially to call Jordan at all. Or best intentions aside I'm not sure that I can resist coming out there and. . ."
"Alright, sir. I understand. And I am sorry. I just wish. . ."
"Just leave her alone Hoyt." And yet again, the phone went dead.
I couldn't help it ~ I pout my head down on my desk like I did when I was in school and wrapped my arms around the top of my head. I felt lower than dirt. Yeah, leaving Annie was one thing. It was the chicken-shit way out, but we'd grown up together and known each other all our lives. She knew that I wanted bigger than Kewaunee. But this is different. I worked so hard to be with Jordan, to understand her, to be her friend, to get through to her and help her understand that I wasn't. . .that I wasn't the type of guy who would just leave. And what did I do?
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Owens standing there.
"You ok, Hoyt?"
"Yeah. I'm just feeling like a jerk right now. When I came out here I took the chicken-shit way out ~ left my girlfriend in the middle of the night and mailed her a note from the airport."
"Boy scout like you did something like that? That's low."
"I know. And I knew it would hurt her, but I had no idea how badly. I've spent the morning being reamed out by her co-workers who are worse than big brothers. And then I was trying to call her cell phone and accidentally called her father's bar and had the pleasure of talking with him."
"Ouch. So I'll spare you my lecture on the subject for now. Why don't you come with me? Merry's still on the D.L. and I've got a case I need someone competent to work with me on it. And for whatever reason I'm picking you."
We walked towards the entrance and got into his car. We didn't say much on the way to wherever we were going. Pretty soon, things started to look familiar. Even though I hadn't been in L.A. that long, I looked around and realized I'd seen this part before.
"Owens? Where exactly are we going?"
"Out to this tiny town in the Mojave. We usually wouldn't work anything out here but it ties into another case the Division's working on. Actually, it's off a dirt road on the way to the town."
I had a weird feeling in my gut about where we were going. Everything about this road was too familiar. "Um, does this 'tiny town' have a name?"
"Yep. San Quivera."
Oh shit. And as if things weren't already making me uncomfortable enough, Owens turned the car onto an all-too-familiar stretch of dirt road and about six miles later, pulled the car off to the side.
. . .to be continued. . .
In Los Angeles. . .
Woody. . . Damn it, where is she? For a week, I've tried her cell, no answer; her home, no answer; her work, no answer. I'm beginning to get the distinct impression she's ignoring me. Or avoiding my calls. I really need to talk with her. I know how I left was wrong, but. . . There's no but. I was a jerk. Maybe I'll just try the morgue's main number and ask for her. I mean, it's not like the receptionist will remember my voice. Yeah. That's it. . .
"Massachusetts Medical Examiner's Office. How may I help you?"
"Hello. May I please speak with Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh?"
"One mom-. . . Woody? Is that you?"
Shit. "Um, yeah. It is. . ."
"It's Lily. Emmy was sick today so we're all taking turns covering the phone ~ well, I'm doing most of it."
"Oh. I see. Well, is. . ." I heard a distinct shuffle and struggle in the background. Maybe Jordan had heard my name and Garret or someone heard her and was trying to make her get on the phone. I could hope, right?
"Woodrow. What are you doing?"
Great, it was Nigel. "Um, well, I was calling to talk with Jordan and. . ."
"Uh uh. No way."
"What? Is she not there?"
"No, fortunately she's out on a case, but you wouldn't be talking to her anyway. I'm not going to let you. You have no idea the mess you left behind."
"All I did was. . ."
"I mean, it's not like what she left last year what with the D.A. investigating her father. But the emotional fallout hasn't been pretty. We've had our hands full around here between the cases and helping her cope with everything. Max said that he hasn't seen her like this since. . ."
Oh God. What had I done? I heard someone else in the background and before I knew it Garret was on the phone.
"Hoyt, what the hell are you doing? I haven't worked like hell to keep Jordan here in spite of what a lot of people on the force and in the D.A.'s office would like to see happen only to have her fall apart because just when she finally started to open herself up to someone emotionally he up and leaves for a swanky new job in Los Angeles with only a note in the mail."
"I just didn't. . ."
"Didn't know how to tell her? How about something like 'Jordan, I've gotten an offer for a job in Los Angeles and would like to talk with you about it?' You don't think that would have worked?"
"I was afraid to. I. . . I didn't want to see the look on her face. I was chicken-shit about it, I know. I just want to talk with her and maybe straighten things out."
"What's to straighten? You're there and she's here."
"I just. . ." I'd never heard Garret this angry. I knew he cared about Jordan like a big brother does for his little sister, but I had no idea he'd be this upset. I guess I made things even worse than I'd imagined.
"Even if she was here, there's no way I'd let you talk to her. Between Max and Dr. Stiles and myself we've managed to get her back on an even keel and I'm not about to let you wreck that."
"But. . ."
"Why don't you give me your number and when we feel she's up to it and she feels like it I'll have her give you a call?"
"Well, I guess so." Feeling lower than scum, I gave him my information.
"Alright. I've got it. Enjoy the sunshine. Good-bye Hoyt." And I heard the phone click and the line go dead.
What had I done? What was I thinking when I ran out like that? Woody, you are an idiot and a jerk. You knew how much it took for Jordan to open up to you like she did. What did you think she was going to do when she got the letter? Hop on the first plane out here and bring you back home again? Yeah, I guess maybe I thought that she. . . Damn it, why was I such a chicken-shit idiot?
Back in the morgue. . .
"Guys, don't you think you were a little hard on him?"
"Lilliput, have you not seen the same Jordan we have walking around for the past couple of weeks?" Nigel was looking at her incredulously.
"Well, yes. But can you blame Woody for taking a job to better himself, especially when he wasn't able to get any promotions here in Boston?"
"Lily, we don't blame him for taking the job. We blame him for the way he left. The running out in the middle of the night and mailing ~ not leaving it in her apartment for her to find, not calling her from the airport even, and especially not talking with her in person ~ mailing the note to her. Would she have let him go? Probably. I've known Jordan for several years now. She would have said something about how he couldn't pass an opportunity like this up and he should go and take it. That he'd be stupid not to. She would have driven him to the airport herself. Yes, she would have been upset about him leaving, but she wouldn't have stood in his way. And she wouldn't have gone into the tailspin we're just beginning to pull her out of."
"Oh. I see your point now. I hadn't thought of it that way. So I'm guessing I'm not to tell Jordan that he called?"
"Exactly. I told him the truth. I have his phone numbers and when she's ready, I'll give them to her and she can make the decision to contact him. I only hope he'll stop trying to call her house and her cell. Thank God she's got caller ID for both those lines. Now, let's get back to work and keep things as normal as we can."
Back in Los Angeles. . .
Woody. . . Ok, so I'm an idiot! A chicken-shit idiot. I move out here for this job with Sunset Division and they've got me stuck inside doing paperwork. I could have stayed in Boston and done paperwork. I know I should be grateful that I got offered a job inside, especially not being local, and Owens keeps telling me that something will come my way, I just have to be patient. But now knowing how badly I hurt Jordan, I mean really knowing, I'm beginning to wish that I'd just stayed put.
I know I promised Garret that I wouldn't call, but maybe just one more try. Maybe I can help her understand why. . .
"Pogue Mahone."
Shit! What number did I. . .? Oh crap! I hit 5 rather than 2 on my speed dial.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
Right, gotta say something. "I'm sorry, I think I. . ."
"Hoyt? What the hell are you doing calling here?"
"Max, I was just. . ."
"You leave my girl in the middle of the night, send her a note and then call here and try to act like it's a wrong number?"
"I didn't mean to. . . Max, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. . ."
"That you'd hurt her like you did? Let me tell you something about Jordan. She has this tough exterior that she's built up to protect herself from being hurt when she loses someone like she did her mother. If you get inside, that shows a huge amount of trust on her part. And you had gotten inside. I think the only other people who she's ever allowed inside that shell like she did you are Garret and myself."
"I. . ."
"Hoyt, it's been a long time since I've seen Jordan like she's been these past couple of weeks. And I've got to tell you, I don't like it. When she got your note, it took every ounce of restraint I have in my body to not get on the next plane to Los Angeles. But then I thought better of it and decided that getting myself arrested was not what she needed right now. I had to think of Jordan. Which is why I'm going to tell you as nicely as I can that I don't want you to call here, to call my house, or especially to call Jordan at all. Or best intentions aside I'm not sure that I can resist coming out there and. . ."
"Alright, sir. I understand. And I am sorry. I just wish. . ."
"Just leave her alone Hoyt." And yet again, the phone went dead.
I couldn't help it ~ I pout my head down on my desk like I did when I was in school and wrapped my arms around the top of my head. I felt lower than dirt. Yeah, leaving Annie was one thing. It was the chicken-shit way out, but we'd grown up together and known each other all our lives. She knew that I wanted bigger than Kewaunee. But this is different. I worked so hard to be with Jordan, to understand her, to be her friend, to get through to her and help her understand that I wasn't. . .that I wasn't the type of guy who would just leave. And what did I do?
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Owens standing there.
"You ok, Hoyt?"
"Yeah. I'm just feeling like a jerk right now. When I came out here I took the chicken-shit way out ~ left my girlfriend in the middle of the night and mailed her a note from the airport."
"Boy scout like you did something like that? That's low."
"I know. And I knew it would hurt her, but I had no idea how badly. I've spent the morning being reamed out by her co-workers who are worse than big brothers. And then I was trying to call her cell phone and accidentally called her father's bar and had the pleasure of talking with him."
"Ouch. So I'll spare you my lecture on the subject for now. Why don't you come with me? Merry's still on the D.L. and I've got a case I need someone competent to work with me on it. And for whatever reason I'm picking you."
We walked towards the entrance and got into his car. We didn't say much on the way to wherever we were going. Pretty soon, things started to look familiar. Even though I hadn't been in L.A. that long, I looked around and realized I'd seen this part before.
"Owens? Where exactly are we going?"
"Out to this tiny town in the Mojave. We usually wouldn't work anything out here but it ties into another case the Division's working on. Actually, it's off a dirt road on the way to the town."
I had a weird feeling in my gut about where we were going. Everything about this road was too familiar. "Um, does this 'tiny town' have a name?"
"Yep. San Quivera."
Oh shit. And as if things weren't already making me uncomfortable enough, Owens turned the car onto an all-too-familiar stretch of dirt road and about six miles later, pulled the car off to the side.
. . .to be continued. . .
