Title: Home is Where the Heart Is, 3/6 Author: Chocolatequeen Rating: PG Disclaimer: I'm broke. Don't sue. In addition to Enterprise, I also quoted a line out of The Princess Bride. Archiving: Ask first, send a link. Summary: In the aftermath of the attack on Earth, two of the Enterprise crew struggle to find where they belong. Parts 1-5 are vignettes focusing on various characters, and part 6 is the conversation.

Chapter 3: Does She Belong Here?

"Argh! Can't just one thing go my way, or would that be too much to ask??" Trip exclaimed as he entered his cabin. "I've got to get some of this off my chest or I'm liable to lose my mind, if I haven't already," he muttered, tossing himself down on the bed. "Computer, access the personal log of Charles Tucker III, recognition code pi sigma alpha omicron."

Rolling off the bed, he started to pace as he recalled the day's events. "I gotta remember to think before I speak," he began. "Everything was just dandy until. well, let me start at the beginning.

"All I wanted to do was remind the cap'n that we'd need a science officer going into the Expanse. I tried to ease into it-you know, subtle like. I was only thinking about the mission, about what it would feel like to make them pay for killing Lizzie. I had no intention of playing Father Confessor to one half of the Enterprise lonely hearts club."

He snorted in disgust, remembering how quickly things had gone wrong. "So there I was, trying to talk about work for once, and he has to go mess things up with one word." Logically, Trip knew it wasn't Jon's fault, but he wasn't a huge fan of logic at the moment.

"Who woulda guessed that one little word could throw my whole plan off? I mean, I ask a question, he says no, I should ask why not or something, right? But no, he has to say "No" in that voice that says, "I don't want to talk about it and thank you from brining up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour some lemon juice in it!"

Trip shoved his hands through his hair, still unable to believe that his simple question had started a counseling session. "That was when I knew this was going to be a harder conversation than I'd thought. Shoot, it was supposed to be easy! Gently remind him of his duty, talk a little, you know. But instead I walked into a talk about feelings!"

He shuddered, remembering exactly what had happened. "I could tell by his tone of voice that he was trying to ignore the fact that T'Pol was leaving." Shaking his head in confusion, Trip continued his rant. "I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Just to make sure I wasn't imagining things, I asked him if he was going to miss her.

"I was hoping he'd shrug it off, or laugh, or look at me like I was crazy, anything but confirming my suspicions! But instead he went and messed things up again. Oh, he didn't come right out and admit to it, but what he did say was almost worse! He told me that he used to resent her. Used to!! That means he doesn't anymore, and the only reason he'd say it like that, well if you combine it with his tone of voice and the morose attitude he had, was if he had romantic feelings for her! I guess I knew there was some sort of undercurrent there, I just didn't know how strong it was! If I had I wouldn't have brought it up.

"But I did, and once he got all down about losing her, I had to be the good best friend and commiserate with him. And I do, really I do. Having to be separated from someone you care about is lousy, I know that as well as the next person. But why did he have to go and fall for a Vulcan?? I mean, it would be bad enough if she was just a member of the crew, but a Vulcan? Man, talk about complicated!! I may not understand how it happened, but I do feel for him.

"So anyway, after I realized what was going on, I tried to end that part of the conversation. After all, if he started waxing poetic about her pointy ears or whatever I certainly didn't want to hear it. Besides, that wasn't the point of the conversation!! I tried to bring the focus back by agreeing that she's not as bad as we'd thought at first. She's not, I know that, but I still don't want her laissez-faire attitude keeping us from doing whatever it takes to get those creeps."

Flopping down into his chair, he sighed to himself. "I guess it wasn't the best idea to phrase it to the captain quite like that though," he admitted grudgingly. "Here he'd just told me that he had feelings for her and I implied I was glad she wouldn't be coming with us! Implied hell, I flat out said it! Open mouth, insert foot. I've never seen the cap'n that. pissed before. In a personal way I mean, not at Suliban ships or Duros, or something that was threatening the ship." He stopped and pondered for an instant before going on. "And you know, his feelings for her and his reaction when I mentioned her leaving really just prove my point. He'd listen to her in the end, and I just can't handle the thought of letting the Xindi go free.

"I should have known better than to criticize her to his face like that, but I just wasn't thinking straight. All I could think about was. well, I don't want to think about it anymore. Anyway, I've learned my lesson-T'Pol is not a topic for conversation. Just for the record however, I still think it's a good thing she's going."