Family Guy-Bubble pipes, Dry martinis, and...Chris.

This is just the intro gag. More to come soon. Please review.

The scene opens on the family sitting on the couch glued to the television. All of a sudden a commercial comes on.

Commercial-Tomorrow on today, we have a special guest straight from the bowels of hell-Martha Stewart!"

Chris's jaw drops down and he frantically looks around the room at everyone.

Chris-"Did-did they just day tomorrow on today??!"

Commercial-"Be sure to catch the latest today on tomorrow!"

Chris-"Oh my God what the hell is goin' on!!"

Chris runs upstairs and Stewie looks around suspiciously then dashes up after him.

Peter- (Without looking up from the TV) says -"Martha Stewart is a Lesbian and not good-lesbian either more like confused-gender-Ellen-Degeneris- Lesbian."

Chris -"Oh my God it's the evil monkey from my closet!" (Chris yells from upstairs)

Then we hear Chris scream, a mysterious futuristic Zapp!, and a thud as Chris hits the ground. Then Stewie comes running down the stairs and sits back down watching TV with the bottoms of a evil monkey suit and one of his trademark guns.

Stewie-"Cowardly bovine lummox! I tire of his mindless chatter. And you, the one they call "Meg" your next!"

Lois -"Oh my God! She is a lesbian!"

~ Theme music ~

Lois-"It seems today that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on TV" Peter-"But where are those good old fashioned values!" All-"On which we used to rely!" All-"Lucky there's a family guy! Lucky theres a man who'll positively tell you all the things that make us-" Stewie-"Laugh 'n' cry!" All-"He's a Family Guy!!!"