Baby Blues 2 - Revenge is sweet
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Nobody's happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set".
*** Yey, i love my reviewers. The 'Baby song' Xavier sings is actually a modified version of Ross' 'Laundry Song' from Friends.
Pyromaniac - One Captain America, at your service!
Aphrodite - 'Near, far, wherever you are...'
Alison Sky - *Giggles in a way that suggests sanity left her long ago* Sean, please take a crown.
Steahl - The return of Wanda mom? Shazam!
Miranda - Some Kitty/Piotr?. You got it!
Mischievous One - *Blinks* Are you..i dunno some kind of Internet mindreader? I would LOVE to grant your request but NEIGH, i cannot. Why? Because my next parody just happens to be Robin Hood: Men in Tights...isn't that...kinda scary? *Humms Twilight Zone music while backing away* But he shall decide that Tabby is TinkerBell.
Dax Rattler - Haven't seen Lord of the Rings yet..so..no..i don't. I want to read the books first..which i'll get round to..someday..maybe. One Roberto breakdown, check please!
Draco-luver - Poor, poor Pie. Die Kelly, die! And one Blue and Fuzzy Vicar.
Kippenberger - Some Scott/Teryn heading your way.
***
Chapter 12 - 2 weddings, a funeral, and a mental breakdown
****
Hank grinned happily at 'Storm' and Forge.
"Yeah, i'll marry you!", he said happily, "what a busy day today. And you're in luck, a REAL angel has come to bless the ceremony!".
"I am NOT an angel", said Warren, from where he sat on the ground, Rahne swinging from one of his wings.
"I think Mr Sam Angel is sad", she said, "i'll give him a hug".
With that, she squeased Warren's head, Warren groaned and shut his eyes, sending out the mental picture of a fat, ugly naked woman shaving her bikini line to any telepath in the house.
****
Inside, Xavier suddenly shuddered.
"I'm going to have nightmares for life", he said out loud.
"The images, the images!", he heard Jean's scream from somewhere upstairs, followed by Jason crying for justice.
He glanced up, seeing Sean plonk something on his head...it was a metal helmet..a round metal helmet that belonged to a certain Master Of Magnetism before he had been...changed.
"Uh oh", said Xavier.
"What's 'uh oh', asked Sabertooth.
"Uh oh", said Xavier, thinking fast, "uh oh..it's the baby song..that baby song that we sing, 'uh oh, the baby's there, uh oh, the baby's here, uh oh....".
"CHUCK!".
"I can't change him back if he has the helmet on..it blocks my telepathy...you should know this".
"Oh..well aint that just PEACHY?!".
Sean dnaced around before skipping off to the babies, sitting himself among the other to see Barney...or rather a Barney that had been changed into an ugly, naked fat woman shaving her bikini line, while Jason rolled around on the floor in agony. The kids looked at Sean, then smiled.
"He is one of us!", said Jubilee happily.
"All hail BIG BABY!", sang Todd.
"No..no no no no no no no", said Xavier, putting his head in his hands.
****
"Oh Kuuuuurrrrt?. Here Bluey, Bluey, Bluey".
Tabby made a whistling sound before realising Kurt wasn't a dog, and the chances of her whistling and him coming were very small. Suddenly, John came racing towards her.
"Tink!", he said hugging her, "gimme some fairy dust".
"I don't have any fairy dust!", said Tabby, "who have you been speaking to?. I don't have any, i tell you, it's just sugar!".
Pyro ignored her and held her high over his head and started to shake her. Tabby, deciding this was NOT fun dropped a boom ball on his, kicked him in the head, struggled free and dove for cover as the ball exploded. Pyro fell flat on his face for a second...then stayed absolutely still....Tabby blinked..had she killed him? She carefully edged towards him and poked the lifeless body with a foot.
"ICEBERG!", he shouted, suddenly sitting up, "i gotta save Rose!".
With that, he raced off. Tabby blinked, then noticed something move from the corner of her eye.
"Ah HAH!", she said, diving on who she thought was Kurt, but ended up being Kelly.
"Oww", said Kelly.
"Oh...err...sorry", she said, putting Kelly down, deciding to ignore the fact his elbow was jutting out at a funny angle, and walking off.
****
Meanwhile, in the garden, Hank smiled hapily. He was GOOD at this vicar thing, he had just married off two very happy people, life was good.
"NEXT!".
Kitty frolicked up, dragging Piotr, who in turn was clinging to an uprooted tree-stump with him, his eyes screwed tightly shut.
"We wanna get married!", said Kitty happily.
"No. No we do not!", said Piotr.
"Yes we do, he's just nervous", said Kitty, phasing Piotr through the tree stump and standing him up.
"Yey!", said Hank, throwing blossoms in the air, some landing on Angel's head.
"Kill me, kill me now", he muttered.
*****
Storm sighed as she walked through the halls. She had just gone past a room where Roberto was rocking violently on the floor, curled in a foetal position. When she had asked him what had happened, he muttered something about show-tunes and evil orphans. She blinked when a minautrised version of herself walked past her, humming. Okay. Suddenly, something picked her up from behind, she turned and groaned, realising it was Pyro.
"We gotta get off the ship, Rose!", he said, "we've just hit an iceberg!".
"Ship?", said Storm, blinking, "Pyro..this is a mansion...not a ship".
"This is no time for denial, my love", he said, scooping her up maiden- style.
"Oh for the love of the Goddess!", snapped Ororo, whacking Pyro on the head, making him, once again, drop to the floor.
"Don't let go, Rose", he whispered before he lost conciouness.
Storm rolled her eyes and stalked away, right into Forge, who had a plastic ring on his finger. He looked suprised to see her.
"Ororo?", he said, "how you become big again?...where's your ring?".
"Ring?", asked Storm, blinking.
"Our wedding ring!", said Forge, "from just now".
"Forge...sweety, we didn't get married...and i have always been big", she said.
Forge blinked.
"Then who did i marry?".
*****
Pietro sighed, closing his eyes sadly. Things were starting to get a little...fuzzy now, all the blood had rushed to his head and he could no longer feel his feet.
"Hey there".
He strained his eyes to see Wanda stood in front of him.
"WANDA!", he said happily, "will you PLEASE let me down, i've been here for HOURS!".
Wanda crossed her arms and gave an evil smirk.
"Not until you appologise for pulling Kevin's head off", she said.
Pietro blinked.
"That old stuffed unicorn?", he asked, squinting, "Wanda, that was when we were four!".
"I loved Kevin", she said, "you broke my heart when you tore his head off".
"I am NOT going to appologise for something that was an accident!", snapped Pietro, crossing his arms stubornly.
"Well, you can just stay there and ROT!", snapped Wanda, storming off.
Pietro blinked, realising he was alone.
"Wanda?", he said, "dear sweet sister?...where are you?..Wanda?".
****
"Heloooo anyone hoooooome?".
Nick Fury stepped into the mansion, then noticed Xavier, striding up to him and depositing something on his lap. Xavier looked down to see Steve Rogers...a three year old Steve Rogers...a three year old CONCIOUS Steve Rogers.
"How....?".
"I don't know", said Nick, "i walked in to check on him to find the lid of his chamber open and him like this!".
"I have a cool sheild", said Steve, waving a miniature sheild around, then smiled, "the nice Pirate Man brought me in".
Nick sighed and started to move out of the door, only to have Logan block his way...Logan didn't look very happy....Logan didn't look very sane.
"Oh no you don't", he said, pushing Nick back in, "if I have ta suffer here, so do YOU!".
****
Outside, Hank was busy. He had just preformed yet another funeral, and was currently burrying Kelly in the ground. Okay, so Kelly was making screaming sounds...but he was still dead...right?. Scott had managed to escape the house and noticed this, giving a shout of terror, he dove into the ground and pulled Kelly out. Kelly coughed up some dirt and fell uncnocious.
"No, bad Hank!", said Scott, "no burrying Principle Kelly!".
He suddenly felt something attach to his leg. He looked down to see Teryn.
"Scott, my love", she said, "i was wrong to let you go. Will you marry me?".
"I..errr...no..i can't", stammered Scott, "y'see...errr..i already have a..i can't marry...".
"Hank?", said Treyn.
"Dwearly bloved...".
"NOOOOOO!", screamed Scott, taking off at full tilt, tripping over Kelly as he went.
***
Wanda had walked back into the Common Room to see Todd sitting all alone. She sighed and walked over to him, he whimpered and hugged her.
"What's wrong?", asked Wanda.
"The other kids won't play with me", he said, "then Mr Jason lost the Braney and can't get it right again".
Wanda glanced at Mastermind, who looked on the verge of a mental breakdown. Todd gave a sniffle, she blinked and suddenly hugged him.
"There there", she said, giving him a hug, "Wanda's here".
***
There we go, hope you like....that was VERY insane. Please do send in your suggestions. Until next time...
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Nobody's happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set".
*** Yey, i love my reviewers. The 'Baby song' Xavier sings is actually a modified version of Ross' 'Laundry Song' from Friends.
Pyromaniac - One Captain America, at your service!
Aphrodite - 'Near, far, wherever you are...'
Alison Sky - *Giggles in a way that suggests sanity left her long ago* Sean, please take a crown.
Steahl - The return of Wanda mom? Shazam!
Miranda - Some Kitty/Piotr?. You got it!
Mischievous One - *Blinks* Are you..i dunno some kind of Internet mindreader? I would LOVE to grant your request but NEIGH, i cannot. Why? Because my next parody just happens to be Robin Hood: Men in Tights...isn't that...kinda scary? *Humms Twilight Zone music while backing away* But he shall decide that Tabby is TinkerBell.
Dax Rattler - Haven't seen Lord of the Rings yet..so..no..i don't. I want to read the books first..which i'll get round to..someday..maybe. One Roberto breakdown, check please!
Draco-luver - Poor, poor Pie. Die Kelly, die! And one Blue and Fuzzy Vicar.
Kippenberger - Some Scott/Teryn heading your way.
***
Chapter 12 - 2 weddings, a funeral, and a mental breakdown
****
Hank grinned happily at 'Storm' and Forge.
"Yeah, i'll marry you!", he said happily, "what a busy day today. And you're in luck, a REAL angel has come to bless the ceremony!".
"I am NOT an angel", said Warren, from where he sat on the ground, Rahne swinging from one of his wings.
"I think Mr Sam Angel is sad", she said, "i'll give him a hug".
With that, she squeased Warren's head, Warren groaned and shut his eyes, sending out the mental picture of a fat, ugly naked woman shaving her bikini line to any telepath in the house.
****
Inside, Xavier suddenly shuddered.
"I'm going to have nightmares for life", he said out loud.
"The images, the images!", he heard Jean's scream from somewhere upstairs, followed by Jason crying for justice.
He glanced up, seeing Sean plonk something on his head...it was a metal helmet..a round metal helmet that belonged to a certain Master Of Magnetism before he had been...changed.
"Uh oh", said Xavier.
"What's 'uh oh', asked Sabertooth.
"Uh oh", said Xavier, thinking fast, "uh oh..it's the baby song..that baby song that we sing, 'uh oh, the baby's there, uh oh, the baby's here, uh oh....".
"CHUCK!".
"I can't change him back if he has the helmet on..it blocks my telepathy...you should know this".
"Oh..well aint that just PEACHY?!".
Sean dnaced around before skipping off to the babies, sitting himself among the other to see Barney...or rather a Barney that had been changed into an ugly, naked fat woman shaving her bikini line, while Jason rolled around on the floor in agony. The kids looked at Sean, then smiled.
"He is one of us!", said Jubilee happily.
"All hail BIG BABY!", sang Todd.
"No..no no no no no no no", said Xavier, putting his head in his hands.
****
"Oh Kuuuuurrrrt?. Here Bluey, Bluey, Bluey".
Tabby made a whistling sound before realising Kurt wasn't a dog, and the chances of her whistling and him coming were very small. Suddenly, John came racing towards her.
"Tink!", he said hugging her, "gimme some fairy dust".
"I don't have any fairy dust!", said Tabby, "who have you been speaking to?. I don't have any, i tell you, it's just sugar!".
Pyro ignored her and held her high over his head and started to shake her. Tabby, deciding this was NOT fun dropped a boom ball on his, kicked him in the head, struggled free and dove for cover as the ball exploded. Pyro fell flat on his face for a second...then stayed absolutely still....Tabby blinked..had she killed him? She carefully edged towards him and poked the lifeless body with a foot.
"ICEBERG!", he shouted, suddenly sitting up, "i gotta save Rose!".
With that, he raced off. Tabby blinked, then noticed something move from the corner of her eye.
"Ah HAH!", she said, diving on who she thought was Kurt, but ended up being Kelly.
"Oww", said Kelly.
"Oh...err...sorry", she said, putting Kelly down, deciding to ignore the fact his elbow was jutting out at a funny angle, and walking off.
****
Meanwhile, in the garden, Hank smiled hapily. He was GOOD at this vicar thing, he had just married off two very happy people, life was good.
"NEXT!".
Kitty frolicked up, dragging Piotr, who in turn was clinging to an uprooted tree-stump with him, his eyes screwed tightly shut.
"We wanna get married!", said Kitty happily.
"No. No we do not!", said Piotr.
"Yes we do, he's just nervous", said Kitty, phasing Piotr through the tree stump and standing him up.
"Yey!", said Hank, throwing blossoms in the air, some landing on Angel's head.
"Kill me, kill me now", he muttered.
*****
Storm sighed as she walked through the halls. She had just gone past a room where Roberto was rocking violently on the floor, curled in a foetal position. When she had asked him what had happened, he muttered something about show-tunes and evil orphans. She blinked when a minautrised version of herself walked past her, humming. Okay. Suddenly, something picked her up from behind, she turned and groaned, realising it was Pyro.
"We gotta get off the ship, Rose!", he said, "we've just hit an iceberg!".
"Ship?", said Storm, blinking, "Pyro..this is a mansion...not a ship".
"This is no time for denial, my love", he said, scooping her up maiden- style.
"Oh for the love of the Goddess!", snapped Ororo, whacking Pyro on the head, making him, once again, drop to the floor.
"Don't let go, Rose", he whispered before he lost conciouness.
Storm rolled her eyes and stalked away, right into Forge, who had a plastic ring on his finger. He looked suprised to see her.
"Ororo?", he said, "how you become big again?...where's your ring?".
"Ring?", asked Storm, blinking.
"Our wedding ring!", said Forge, "from just now".
"Forge...sweety, we didn't get married...and i have always been big", she said.
Forge blinked.
"Then who did i marry?".
*****
Pietro sighed, closing his eyes sadly. Things were starting to get a little...fuzzy now, all the blood had rushed to his head and he could no longer feel his feet.
"Hey there".
He strained his eyes to see Wanda stood in front of him.
"WANDA!", he said happily, "will you PLEASE let me down, i've been here for HOURS!".
Wanda crossed her arms and gave an evil smirk.
"Not until you appologise for pulling Kevin's head off", she said.
Pietro blinked.
"That old stuffed unicorn?", he asked, squinting, "Wanda, that was when we were four!".
"I loved Kevin", she said, "you broke my heart when you tore his head off".
"I am NOT going to appologise for something that was an accident!", snapped Pietro, crossing his arms stubornly.
"Well, you can just stay there and ROT!", snapped Wanda, storming off.
Pietro blinked, realising he was alone.
"Wanda?", he said, "dear sweet sister?...where are you?..Wanda?".
****
"Heloooo anyone hoooooome?".
Nick Fury stepped into the mansion, then noticed Xavier, striding up to him and depositing something on his lap. Xavier looked down to see Steve Rogers...a three year old Steve Rogers...a three year old CONCIOUS Steve Rogers.
"How....?".
"I don't know", said Nick, "i walked in to check on him to find the lid of his chamber open and him like this!".
"I have a cool sheild", said Steve, waving a miniature sheild around, then smiled, "the nice Pirate Man brought me in".
Nick sighed and started to move out of the door, only to have Logan block his way...Logan didn't look very happy....Logan didn't look very sane.
"Oh no you don't", he said, pushing Nick back in, "if I have ta suffer here, so do YOU!".
****
Outside, Hank was busy. He had just preformed yet another funeral, and was currently burrying Kelly in the ground. Okay, so Kelly was making screaming sounds...but he was still dead...right?. Scott had managed to escape the house and noticed this, giving a shout of terror, he dove into the ground and pulled Kelly out. Kelly coughed up some dirt and fell uncnocious.
"No, bad Hank!", said Scott, "no burrying Principle Kelly!".
He suddenly felt something attach to his leg. He looked down to see Teryn.
"Scott, my love", she said, "i was wrong to let you go. Will you marry me?".
"I..errr...no..i can't", stammered Scott, "y'see...errr..i already have a..i can't marry...".
"Hank?", said Treyn.
"Dwearly bloved...".
"NOOOOOO!", screamed Scott, taking off at full tilt, tripping over Kelly as he went.
***
Wanda had walked back into the Common Room to see Todd sitting all alone. She sighed and walked over to him, he whimpered and hugged her.
"What's wrong?", asked Wanda.
"The other kids won't play with me", he said, "then Mr Jason lost the Braney and can't get it right again".
Wanda glanced at Mastermind, who looked on the verge of a mental breakdown. Todd gave a sniffle, she blinked and suddenly hugged him.
"There there", she said, giving him a hug, "Wanda's here".
***
There we go, hope you like....that was VERY insane. Please do send in your suggestions. Until next time...
