Title: Firefly

Chapter Sixteen: Sweet Misery

Author: Kitty Malfoy

A/N: Yes I know it's been simply ages since I've updated, but you all love me anyway even those of you who are TOO LAZY TO REVIEW! Anyhoo here it is!

)()()()()()()(

Hermione awoke the next morning feeling as if something inside her had changed, but for good or ill she had yet to figure out. Carefully sliding Draco's journal beside her she climbed out of her bed, consequently dumping a load of clutter onto her already littered floor. Bits of her alarm clock still lay scattered about the floor and as she kicked them aside to make a path to her bathroom she felt a bit sheepish about not having picked them up yet.

Deciding that she'd deal with it later, Hermione shed her pajamas in random spots across her room as she directed her waking body towards the anticipated shower. A quick glance to the window before she closed the bathroom door told her without a clock that she was, in fact, up insanely early. The darkness of night was only now fading ever so slowly to charcoal gray as the sun began to creep up over the horizon.

When she exited some twenty minutes later it was with an accompanying cloud of steam pouring out of the bathroom - a leftover after-affect of her boiling hot shower. Her shower had done its job in waking up her body and unfortunately her mind as well - and boy was it turning now. Her uncertainty mixed with confusion from the previous night fueled her brain into delving into facts, over-analyzing, formulating theories, and conjuring up questions even her vast stores of knowledge couldn't answer.

This sort of "super-active" mind was a usual characteristic of Hermione, but never before had these processes been completely focused on love...and Draco Malfoy of all people. Groaning, Hermione massaged her temples.

Thinking about thinking was making her head hurt...

Slipping into the familiar routine of donning her Hogwarts' uniform helped distract her mind and her headache ebbed. When she finished the cold, early morning chill and the short sleeves of her blouse proved to be an uncomfortable combination.

It took her a few embarrassing moments to discern which mound of clothing was clean clothes and she routed through it diligently. She found one of her plain black robes embroidered with the Gryffindor crest, pulled it free, and threw it on top of her bed.

She started to straighten when her fingertips grazed silk - she could tell by the icy feeling it sent through her fingers and sparked her nerves. Hermione's nose twitched in thoughtfulness.

No harm in it...

Her fingers closed about the unknown garment and clutching it tight in her fist she yanked it free from it's hidden pocket of concealment. Green filled her vision until the silk fell into a shapeless puddle from her numb grasp.

Her muddy brown eyes, mirroring her conflicting emotions, lowered to her lap and stared with unsure eyes. Silver embroidery floss, twisted in the familiar emblem, peeked out from within the sea of folds and silken waves. And as the familiarity of the robe washed over her...so did the memories.

)()()()()()()(

Harry looked up in surprise when he heard noise on the stairwell. His surprise only greatened when the other "insomniac" turned out to be Hermione wearing a Slytherin bed robe over her uniform. Hermione looked equally shocked to find herself no longer the only one who was awake and dressed at ungodly hours.

The two friends smiled at each other and Hermione hurried down the last few steps and crossed the common room to sit next to Harry on the couch. Instantly, the heat radiating off the fire warmed her to the core and she sent her ex-boyfriend a grateful smile for starting a fire when he woke up.

"Nice robe..." he commented quietly, prodding the embers of the fire with a golden poker stained by ash.

He heard as well as felt Hermione sigh beside him, but he kept his emerald eyes riveted on the flames as if it were them and not Hermione with whom he was conversing. "Three guesses who it belongs to-" she replied in the same tone.

"Malfoy..." Harry muttered darkly.

Hermione was in a rather bitchy mood at such an early hour and she barely made any attempt to shield Harry from the "flaws" in her personality, "Wow! And it only took you one!" She retorted in a scathingly sarcastic voice.

She'd barely been awake an hour and already she was in an extremely foul mood. Ex-boyfriends did that to you...or maybe it was the fact that the sun wasn't even up...or the fact that Draco had betrayed her...or maybe she was upset and confused by the journal...maybe it was because she hadn't had her morning cappuccino yet...or maybe it was all those things combined.

At any rate she was in no mood to be sympathetic and caring, especially to a person who changed his moods depending on the day of the week.

"I was gonna say 'and the first two don't count', because as your loving friend I have complete confidence in your intelligence, but you were so quick to interrupt me with your 'oh-so-superior' retort I didn't have the chance to finish."

Or maybe I'm PMSing...

Great! Now her mind was going in a completely different direction than her mouth and that never ended well.

"Silly me for thinking that my best friend might wanna be a little sympathetic to me when I'm going through a hard time in my life. Like that would be too much to ask."

Harry had finally realized that he'd made a mistake and he looked down at Hermione with pleading emerald eyes. "Please don't be like this, 'Mione. It's me...your best friend - Harry Potter!"

"Yeah, The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Stress-Me-Out! Hi, nice to meet you. My name's Hermione - we're well acquainted you and I. Have you ever considered making your name shorter? It's quite a mouthful you know-"

"Hermione!" He exclaimed. He shook her roughly by her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, for you Hermione I really am, but you can't just expect me to change my feelings about Malfoy two weeks into the school year when he just decides to get all "buddy-buddy" with you. You did and you got hurt."

He ran a hand through his sleep-tousled raven hair and let out a frustrated sigh, making Hermione wonder if this was really that hard for him to say. He turned to her and lifted her chin so that he could meet her eyes. "Look into my eyes, 'Mione. I don't want you to get hurt. I'd die for you, Hermione, you have to know that."

Hermione did meet his eyes and felt immediately sorry for snapping at him. Smiling to ease the tension she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered. "What you just said...it meant a lot to me...especially now."

Harry smiled too and enveloped her in a hug, "I'll do anything to see you happy, 'Mione." He whispered into her honey brown hair. Hermione sniffed emotionally and nodded. Pulling away she dabbed at her eyes that Harry was surprised to find brimming with tears.

"I'm gonna go down to the library before breakfast," She sniffed and started to walk to the portrait, "And, uh, you should change your shirt."

Harry frowned, "Why?"

"You got my mascara on it."

)()()()()()()(

When Hermione stepped out of the Gryffindor common room she shed the green robe and replaced it with her usual black one before stashing it deep into her knapsack. In doing so, her fingers grazed the cold leather of the journal and her entire dilemma resurfaced. Steeling herself for the day that was only just beginning she pushed away from the portrait of the fat lady and headed down the corridor to the Great Hall.

Her paten-leather Mary Jane's clicked repetitively against the cobblestones and echoed annoyingly throughout the deserted hallways. Since it was barely dawn, the corridors were dark and shadowed; only adding to the depression of the day that weighed down on her. The magical torches lining the wall kept her always in their orange glow; sparking to life as she drew near and snuffing themselves out as she passed.

I can't believe I've only been here for two weeks and I'm already a wreck!

She spitefully kicked at a loose floorstone and sent it clattering in front of her where it disappeared into the darkness the torches hadn't seen fit to illuminate.

Her mind went back to Draco's journal.

Damn him! I was perfectly fine hating him for the rest of my life - because he deserved it - but then he had to give me that damn journal. And now that I know all these...things about him it just feels...wrong to hate him.

Running a hand through her long waves of hair she sighed in frustration and changed directions - heading down a corridor perpendicular to the Great Hall.

And now I'm so addlebrained that I almost went down to the Great Hall, when breakfast isn't for ages. I'll go to the kitchens instead. I've been meaning to visit Dobby anyway, and I think I've got some pocket money in my bag that I can give him for serving me an early breakfast.

Already forcing her thoughts onto to something completely non-Draco related she headed towards the portrait of fruit. But all the while the back of her mind whirled as she subconsciously debated over two separate choices. She could go either way on this one.

And even before she reached out to tickle the pear that shielded the entrance to the kitchens she'd finally reached a decision.

)()()()()()()(

Yeah I know that was kinda weird with Harry, but they needed a confrontation sometime, and wouldn't you be a little stressed out too?

Well review - and I'm sorry this took so long!

Kitty Malfoy