Please forgive my bad English, because it's not my mother tongue, and remember that I don't own ER characters.

Nobody kisses Luka's tears away.

I'm calling you, crying all alone in that room... don't let me there alone, please! Forgive me to disturb you, 'cause it's not my fault. Forgive me, I just miss you.... Oh god, you're dead and gone... you have eternal life... but why is your eternal lives supposed to be spent so far from me, please come and explain it to me!...

I'm still on earth and my life will be long enough to miss you way to much. I just can't face it. ... You know, sometimes I feel it's ok, I do my job as well as I can people live, people die and my life is going on... but is it ok for real?... I mean... you're not by my side... I miss you so much.

Please come back to me... don't laugh at my weakness, don't laugh at me 'cause I crying for you... you're souls are peaceful now, mine is a real mess. You're gone... I feel stolen. Did you know I loved you that much? Can you understand I still love you that way? Oh god...

You're no longer in my life, but you're in my heart... I keep all our memories secretely in my mind. I enjoy remembering your favourite meals, colors, jokes in the past, our past... I have so many regrets, too, killing me softly... especially the things I had to say and that will stay unsaid... I had few time to tell you how much I love you... I had almost no time and it's too late, now...

I wasn't able to protect you... oh... be sure I feel guilty about it.... please forgive me, honey please... I feel so shameful... oh god... my two little angels, forgive your daddy, please forgive me... please ...oh please I need you here right now! I need you all laughing, playing, living by my side. Just come and tell me you're not gone...

Where are you? Come and tell me... oh please, wherever you are remember I do love you... don't forget it... please, keep it in mind... oh... I don't know if I still believe in god, but I know I believe in love, because I love you. Do you hear me? I love you... I love you... I love you...

"""""""""

You're crying fit is so painful, but you keep on crying. You think it will be a relief...not at all. When you start crying, you can't stop it. What can't be fought as to be suffered... but tonight, you can't suffered your loss and you suddenly faint. Will this be a real relief?... No, because someone will find you here... Abby, maybe Kerry... you will open your eyes, and you will see a female face... not your wife... stop dreaming and wake up! Remember you're all alone. Welcome back in real life, Luka.

The end

This fan fiction is dedicated to my beloved younger brother, whom I will always love and miss.