SailorsPathfinder : Love and Without

By MakotoJade : makotojade@hotmail.com

Epilogue : An Ending

(the part where I try to wrap things up)

            Risa stood, looking out over the balcony of the castle she had won.  The tops of the trees surrounding the building swayed in the breeze.  Beyond them, the fields began, where she could see figures moving about.  She could hear occasional voices echoing up from open windows somewhere on the floors below.  The first moon was rising over the far horizon.  Its sister would soon follow it.  And the sun…

            She glanced down at her watch.  "The sun should be setting in about twenty minutes…" She looked back out into the distance.  Slowly, she breathed in, held it, and then slowly exhaled. 

            Even the air tastes different.  Cleaner… fresher… It feels like… it feels like…

            "Peace," she voiced her thought aloud and let the word roll around the room.  "Peace."

            Taking it all in, one last time, she turned and walked back into the room.  Her room.  Her own space.  In all her life she had never owned anything, and now she had this.  Sage and the leaders of all the soldiers had been setting everything up.  Plans that were once dreams were being enacted.  People were settling in, helping out, learning… society…

            "Is it society?" she mumbled to herself as she searched through her things.  "What is a society anyways…"

            Before there had been two things.  Fighting and dying.  Now there was something new, something sought after, something won.  Living.

            And Risa didn't know what to do with it.

She couldn't do anything to help out.  Everywhere she went somebody, if not everybody, was staring at her.  She was some sort of a goddess or something.  Many had taken to calling her "Lady Risa".  Basically it annoyed her to no end.  Because of this she had carefully bowed out of any leadership responsibility and left Sage in charge of the Pathfinders.  It scared her to think that if she were in charge, people might take to worshiping her or something. 

Every once in awhile someone came by and tried to convince her to do something and she carefully argued her way out of it and then sent them on their way.  But that just left free time… and just what the hell was she supposed to do with that.  Not that she didn't have a few ideas of whom she'd like to—

Risa shook her head.  That's why I came up with this plan in the first place isn't it?  Because of how much… how much I--

Her hand suddenly fell upon what she had been searching for.  She picked it up and stared at it.

"Because of how much I love him."

She cracked the seal on the silver object.  "Begin recording."

*          *          *

            Ann stood watching as Alan finally got to his feet, wiping his hands on a towel.  "Do you think it will take?" she asked, worriedly.

            He turned to look at her, grinning.  "Can't you feel it?  It already has!"

            And then she did feel it.  A strengthening.  Suddenly she was not just feeling the energy from the tree, but from every living thing around her. 

            The tree had found it's home.  And so had they.

            Alan stepped up to her and put his arms around her, pulling her close.

            "We're home." She whispered.  For so long they had traveled, fought, been confused and alone.  And now… and now…

            She gasped.  Alan pulled away from her and looked at her, "Ann, what's wrong?"

            She could feel it.  Just behind her bellybutton…  She stood with her hand on her stomach as Alan looked on.  But how… the tree was supposed to…

            "Alan… Alan I think… "  She looked up into his confused eyes.  "Alan, I think I'm going to have a baby…"

            "But the tree is the one who gave life to us—  are you sure—"

She blinked hard as the tiny light within her swelled.  The life force surged through her body, pushing at Alan through his and Ann's connection.

Ann opened her eyes to meet Alan's.  His smile was as brilliant as any of the suns they had seen on their journey.  "Then it's ours then… yours and mine?"

She nodded, words catching in her throat.

He pulled her to him again, pausing only to kiss her firmly and then burying his face in her hair.  "I love you."

She could feel the tears in her eyes.  Everything was perfect.  "I love you, too."

Finally.  Joy.

*          *          *

            Mamoru Chiba, once, long ago, Prince Endymion of Earth stood and gazed out over the fields of this foreign land he had lived upon for these past weeks.  Children ran in circles in the distance.  Men and women wandered, walking in and out of the surrounding trees.  Everything was peaceful.  A part of him was glad.  He had helped to bring this about; he had brought an end to the reign of a dark queen… one of his old friends…

            He leaned against an archway, before him steps led down into the trees below, behind him the archway opened onto the ancient ruin that Hydrazite had modified into her castle.  Sage and several new "officials" had taken up residence here and had dubbed it the new capital.  Sage had begun to rebuild her giant computer; somehow she still had all of her old data.  Government was beginning.  Life was going on.

            Only, his was not.  He was dying.

            Sighing he slid down and sat on the top step.  He could see the sun on the horizon in the distance.  Both moons were now in the sky.  It was a beautiful sight.

            And tears came to his eyes.  It shocked him.  He had thought that by now his body was beyond tears.  He let them fall though, and stared up at the first moon. 

            If he let his mind play tricks on him… which he did every waking moment now… he could see the rabbit, upside down, grinning at him.  The rabbit of the moon.  Tsuki no Usagi.

            He reached his hand into his coat pocket and pulled out the leather pouch he had procured this morning.  He pulled it open and stared down at the gleaming silver blade, etched with old-age writings.

            There was nothing else.  He knew that now.  For a time he thought it would go away, this feeling within him.  He thought his powers were linked to Sailor Moon.  And they were, to a certain extent.  But they depended, he now realized, on his own magic as well.  His own magic that had been fading since he had come to this place.  His magic drawn from his protectorate.  From his ancient home.  From Earth. 

Usagi's presence had helped him when she was here.  He had realized though, that even if she had remained here, with him, that he would still have gone through the downward spiral he was now cascading down, it just would have taken longer.

He was the last Prince of Earth.  And he had abandoned his home.  With all his heart he hoped Sailor Moon would protect it always and would be able to do so without his power.

Sick at heart, he slowly stroked the dagger.  He looked back up at the horizon.

"Sunset.  I'll wait for the sunset."

"To do what?"

Mamoru, recognizing the voice, didn't even reply.

"Well?"

Silence.

Risa suddenly sat down next to him.  She looked down at his hands.   "To kill yourself?  That's just a wonderful idea there.  What about all the rest of us?  Don't you think we could use your help?  You come from a planet of many nations.  You could help us to begin our world, to begin our new lives.  Instead you're suicidal?  Besides, I … we… all of us need you, we need you alive.  We all love you and care about you.  You'll always have a home here, you—"

"This isn't my home."

As soon as he said it, he felt bad, but it was there, he'd said it.  "It's not my home Risa, and it will never be my home.  I'm sorry.  But my heart can never belong here."

"Your heart."  He heard her mumble it and looked over to her.

They sat for a few minutes in silence.  Beyond them the sun slowly sank into the horizon and the moons began to glow.

"Still," he heard her begin again, "still you don't have to kill yourself.  You could go on.  You don't have to die.  Maybe someday we'll find another fortress that has the crystal technology.  Then we can send you home."

He sighed, looked away from her and up into the sky.  "I can't, Risa.  It's not that simple."  He paused, and then looked down at her.  "I'm dying Risa.  I can feel it.  I can't even walk very far anymore without getting tired.  I won't let it go on anymore."

Flustered, she ran over the words as they worriedly tumbled out, "Sage, she could help you though, she's offered.  We all know you feel sick, and that, well, you're depressed, but—"

Something in him awakened.  A pain. 

No one, no one is listening!! 

"You DON'T understand!" he jerked his hand out and grabbed her shoulder.  He pulled her towards him.  "Look, look into my eyes, can't you see it?"

"See what?  Hey!  You're hurting—" her eyes connected with his suddenly, and she gasped.

*          *          *

            Empty.  Behind his eyes was emptiness, a void. 

            She pulled away from him, shocked.  "How—how do you—"

            "How do I know I look like that?  When I look in a mirror, I can't seem to see myself anymore.  It's like I'm fading out of existence.  I was born of a planet, not just on it.  Without it, I am wasting away."  He let go of her and laid both hands over the silver blade.  "I just want it all to end."

            Risa stared down at her own hands.  "It's all my fault- it has been since the beginning.  If I hadn't pulled you here and then made you stay—"

            He reached over and put two fingers on her lips.  "Haven't we already gone over this?  It happened, it's the past… no regrets."  He lowered his hand. 

            They looked at each other for a moment.  Then he turned and looked back over to the horizon.

            She followed his gaze.  She felt horrible.  Her heart ached.  And not for her own feelings, but for him.  She was killing him.   Oh, he could say what he wanted, but she had brought him here, she had caused everything.  And, supposively, the good of the planet should outweigh the cost of one man.

Only you can make the right.

            But not this man.  Not for her. 

            Risa closed her eyes and breathed in, tasting that air that she had earlier, that feeling of peace.  She opened her eyes to twilight on her planet.  Her Sabi.  She could understand what he meant, could feel its power calling to her.  Risa was a senshi though; she had power to sustain herself on another world.  She wondered how much more powerful Sage or Leeota would be if they were on their own home planets.

            She took it all in.  Moment.

            Then she turned to Mamoru.  "Before I do this thing that I'm about to do, I have to tell you something."

            "I have to tell you… that I love you…"

*          *          *

            Sage, her feet aching and her eyes fighting to stay open, slowly stumbled through her room and fell down on her bed.  Meeting after meeting, day after day.  Who knew running a planet could be so difficult?  Hydrazite had never shown any stress.  "Ah yes, but then again she was a 1,000 year old witch of dark magic.  I'm sure she had the best routine in place about 986 years ago and then let it run on and on.  I wonder how her feet never hurt in those stiletto heels all the time though.  I'd like to have some dark spell for my feet, darn senshi boots.  Couldn't I have had sandals or something… noooo."

She moaned and rolled over.  Something dug into her back and she sat up with a yelp.  She called up the lights and then saw a small message wafer gleaming behind her on the mattress.

Sage reached for it, confused, and then activated it.

Risa's face hovered above it instantly.  "Hey Sage.  Sorry if you land on this when you fall into bed tonight.  It's the one place I knew you'd find it though.  Hopefully you'll find it before… well, before rumors start flying.  Then you can tell everyone what really happened."

Risa's opening comments had produced a chuckle… but her last few words, and the sudden strange "why isn't she telling me this in person" feeling that was creeping over her, left Sage far from laughter now.

            "I've been doing a little meditation, some study into my own abilities and what I know of Senshi power.  I've come up with something and, if it works, I'll be able to have our Prince home before the next sunrise."

            Something caught in Sage's throat and she pushed herself to her feet.

            "I've modified my own teleportation so that I alone can carry someone.  I know I've shown others how to do it before in threes and fours, but now I can do it on my own."

            "No Risa… you wouldn't…"

            "I have been practicing and I'm fairly certain I can achieve the journey.  Unfortunately, I think that when I get to my destination, I'll be drained of all my powers… and I'll most likely… well…"

            "RISA!!"  Sage grabbed the message wafer up and ran from the room, searching… where would she be…

            The recorded Risa went on.  "Anyways, if I link my mind with Mamoru's I'll be able to find the Earth.  I have to do this Sage.  It's my fault he's here, I'm the only one who can fix this and send him home.  Besides Sage… I love him…"

            "Dammit, that's not a reason Risa!!"  She was running through the halls, people were staring out of their doors at her as she flew downstairs towards the main hall.

            "I love him and I can't live know that I've wronged our Prince and the Princess of the Moon Kingdom.  We are pledged to protect them both until the end, aren't we?"

            "That was A THOUSAND YEARS AGO!!"

            "Sage, you're my best friend in the world… hell, in our universe if you want to think about the grand scale of all of this.  I'll love you in my heart forever and I hope you can understand why I did this.  And I know you'll protect Sabi for me.  All of the rest of the wands are in my room Sage, someday, someday maybe more senshi will be reborn, and you can help them on their way.  Thank you Sage.  Tell Leeota goodbye for me as well… I don't have time or the strength to leave her a message.  Please Sage, don't hate me.  It's all for the best, really.  Maybe you'll understand someday."

            "NO!!  Risa… Risa… where would you do this at---"

            She came around a corner and slammed into Leeota as the message came to an end.

            "I love all of you, forever and ever.  Please protect Sabi and the peace you've found.  Please be happy.  Goodbye."

            Sage hit the floor and was instantly on her feet again.  She roughly pulled Leeota up as the other girl gasped for breath, "What was that?" she managed.

            "Its Risa," replied Sage, "And we have to find her… NOW!!"  And with that she sprinted off, Leeota stumbling after her.

*          *          *

            Mamoru blinked.  "You…"

            "Yes, I love you."

            She leaned over to him, and kissed him.

            He sat in shock and realized only after she had pulled away that he had not kissed her back.

            Risa looked down at her hands for a moment, then back up into his eyes.  "And I want you to be happy, always.  And I want you to live."

            She stood, and reached a hand down to him.

            Still in shock, he took it, and let her pull him to his feet.  He let her pull the dagger from his hands.  She threw it beyond them.  It clattered down the stairs.

            "You will live.  I promise you that.  I will give back what I have taken away.  I'm the only one who can, Serenity told me herself."

            "Sailor Moon?" he asked, stupidly.

            Risa smiled softly, "No."  She held up her hands.  "Here, put your hands against mine."

            "But—but what—"

            "Please do it."

            And he did.  Instantly a red sphere shimmered into existence around them.  "What… what are you—"

            "RISA!!  DON'T DO IT!!"

            Mamoru turned to see Sage running at them.  Leeota stood away, seemingly in shock.  Sage slammed into the red sphere and was thrown back yards, crashing into the stone floor of the open area beyond them.

            In a moment though, she was on her feet again and was standing, screaming next to them.  "RISA!!  YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS!!"  Tears were streaming down her face.

            He turned to look at Risa, whose eyes hadn't left his face.  "Risa!  What are you doing?"

            "I'm taking you home."

            Sage pounded fists against the red wall, "NO RISA!!  STOP, please!! Please stop pleasepleasestopstopnononono…"

            Mamoru tried to pull his hands away from Risa's.  "You can't… it's too far… the power… Risa… Risa you'll—"

            "I'll die?  I've done that before."

            He stared at her.  Suddenly her voice was richer, older.  Her eyes shone like rubies as they pierced into his diminishing soul.

            The princess of Sabi… I remember…

            She smiled at him.

            As do I… from so long ago…It seems that only now I find myself again…

Risa…you don't have to do this… I can't let you die.

Will you remember me?

Always.

Well then, I'll never really die, now will I?

He leaned down then and kissed her, deeply.  She returned it.

And then with a deafening crack, they were gone.

*          *          *

            Sage cried at the spot for what seemed like an eternity.  After a time, she realized Leeota was across from her with her head in her hands.

            She looked around.  All the Pathfinders had been drawn to the spot, it seemed.  They stood, staring at the two of them.  Watching and waiting. 

            Sage slowly pushed herself to her feet.  Leeota looked up at her and then stood up beside her.

            With her voice trembling, she addressed the crowd.  "Risa is gone.  She has atoned for all of our crimes in bringing the prince of Earth here.  She has repaid a debt she felt she owed.  And I—" she gasped and choked back a sob, "And I understand why she did it… and why she had to do it and I … and I…"

            She sobbed again, and Leeota's arms were around her, holding her up.  And then they all were around them both.  A wave of sadness seemed to blanket them all.  Sage hadn't realized how much the others had felt towards Risa.

            After a time, she stood on her own again and let the message wafer run again, for all to see.

            Then, Sage put it in her pocket, hugged her arms to herself and looked around her.  "We'll do what she asked won't we?  Do you all vow, here and now, to protect Sabi, and to preserve our peace?"

            There were affirmative shouts from all around her.

            "Then let's do it.  Let us do it for her, for forever."

            Slowly, after a time they all wandered off.  Leeota went to sit at the spot on the stairs where they had disappeared and stared off into the night.  Sage came and stood behind her.

            "We'll fight forever for you Risa."

            "And I do forgive you… wherever you are…"

**        **        **

            Tsukino Usagi stared at the ceiling of her room.  Her friends were all over at her house for a sleepover, it was just like old times…

            Makoto leaned over her.  "Do you think there's a senshi for every planet then?"

            She shook her head.  She heard the others take on the conversation around her.  "There must be, Mako-chan, we saw them all with our own eyes."

            "But only 295 or whatever, how far did the Moon Kingdom reach.  How many planets were under Serenity's control."

            "Oh, I wish we could have all of our old memories back—"

            Usagi rolled over to stare at her window.  The conversation always came back to the same thing.  None of them could get over what had happened to them, what they had seen.

            The rose she had taken from Mamoru's apartment when she had left it was on the windowsill, in one of her old vases.  It had long since wilted; it was bent over the side of the vase, brown and dead.

            It was how she felt inside.

            "Usagi… Usagi-chan…"

            She rolled back over to face Minako.

            "How are you feeling?"

            A wave of something spilled over her as she growled, "How am I FEELING!!!"

            And then she burst into tears.

            "I'll never see him again.  He's alive… somewhere out there and I'll never be able to find him.  It would have been better if we'd never been taken there, if I still thought he was dead… at least I would be able to go on… but I can't--- I can't do this anymore—I need him, I can't do any of this without him, I just can't—" she broke off into a sob and buried her face in her hands.

            She felt her friends around her, hugging her…

            And then the strangest sensation tugged at her.  She heard Rei gasp.

            They all looked over at the other side of the room.

            There was a red glimmer hovering in the air.  Usagi stood… moving towards it, and then it suddenly expanded into a giant red sphere knocking her back onto the floor. 

            A voice was suddenly in her mind.

            Serenity?

            She recognized it at once.

            SABI!!!

            Serenity please forgive me.  I am trying to repay my debt to you, and I know this will help.  I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me…but please… I can't hold on any longer…

            But… but what?!?

            Please love him, love him forever.

            And then the red bubble burst.  Mamoru lay, crumpled, on the floor.

            Usagi stared for a moment, and then was instantly at his side.  She could hear her friends gasping behind her.

            He stirred and then opened his eyes.

            She stared down at him, her eyes filling with tears.

            His eyes lit up with a joy that made her heart break.  He pushed himself up and swept his arms around her.  He held her to him, tightly.  "I love you," he whispered.

            "I love you, too."

*          *          *         

            Now, actually, the bubble didn't burst, per say.  It sort of… diminished instantaneously.  It went from being a sphere to a glimmer so quickly that no one in the room noticed.

            Even in the moments afterwards, the occupants in the room were so swept up in their happiness and greetings, that no one noticed the glimmer fade in and out, drifting around the room.

            Then, it fell upon the rose in the window.

            That rose would bloom for a very long time…

~~!!@@##$$%%^^&&**(())__++

My Spot:
So I'm done.  Thank the maker.  How long have I been off and on writing that? Gee, only 5 years?  Only?  Or is it 6?  Who's counting?  Demosthenes, I hope you like it.

Some may ask why this is an epilogue and not Episode 16.  Well because I said so, darn it!  No, but really, as I have been writing this I have discovered that I liked writing my own characters more than I liked writing Naoko's.  So, as Episode 15 concluded 'their' battle, I thought that concluded 'their' major story.  I only had to wrap up to get rid of Mamoru, so to speak.  Well, and Risa too… or is she really gone?  After all, this is SailorsPathfinder : Love and Without.  There could always be a SailorsPathfinder : The Next Generation or something else absurdly horrible.  Another day perhaps, another day.

Sailor Moon is ©Naoko Takeuchi
But I © this to me, ©2001 MJade Productions
... And I truly hope she doesn't mind ...

June 15, 2001