Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of its characters. They are the rightful property of SQUARESOFT.
Chapter VThis was incredible. Did they expect me to pass these tests with flying colors? I didn't want to know. They must be bullshitting me…
Five physical exams… Piece of cake. Five different monsters: T-Rexaurs, Ruby Dragons… Like I said, piece of cake. My gunblade and I would take care of that.
Then my eyes scrolled down to the intelligence exams. I admit… I'm not that bright and the intellectual level that I needed to pass exceeds my limits. I thought it would be stuff like 'Johnny has four apples. Johnny eats two apples, how many apples does he have left?' Hey, I can dream right?
The first was a history lesson about sorceresses, knights and the whole shitbox. How is that essential to running a military academy? I didn't want to know. First off, this whole history thing was a problem because… I didn't know jackshit about where to learn the material. So I thought, 'Hey, I'll ask Rinoa…'
Next was a biology test. Ok, I could guess why they wanted me to learn the basics of the human body. Yeah, sure… Head, arms, legs, feet and the likes. I knew it all. At least something was going my way… um, that was until I read 'Respiratory system, nervous system, digestive system … reproductive system.' So I thought, 'Hey, I'll ask Rinoa… except maybe for the reproductive system part.'
The final test? A geography lesson. Boring… So boring… Give me a break. I needed to know all the cities, all the islands… Why is this important? Why are they doing this to me? Hyne, what did I do to deserve this? I don't even know how to read a map properly and now I have to memorize what's on it? Fuck… So I thought, 'Hey, I'll ask Rinoa…' Again.
Now, I was already in bad shape for the intelligence exams. The behavior control exams were worse. No, you don't understand… They were very, very, very bad.
Sanity Exam numero uno: They'd hook me up to a lie detector to see if I could lie to the machines, then they'd put me through vast amounts of torture until I begged for mercy (to which if I did, they would flunk me) and then… Then… they'd ask me all sorts of questions that I would have to reply truthfully to.
The second one was worse then the first. To the point where I thought I would never get my commander position. Ever. It was a control exam… To see if I gave into sexual temptations. I broke out into a cold sweat. I began to think, 'Hey, I'll ask Rinoa… Um… Actually, maybe that isn't such a great idea.' Oh Hyne… Oh good Hyne… Save me!
The phone snapped me out of my vacuous trance. I stared at the ringing communication device and remembered that I was alone in the house. Rinoa, Mike and Stu were all at school, Caraway was at work and Julia and Joan had gone to shop.
I picked up, "Hello?"
"Hello, this is Mr. Rolan from Dawson College. Is Miss Heartilly home?"
"No." I replied; my thoughts shifted from the conversation and back to my current problem… The Balamb Exams.
"Well, please give her the message that she has passed the entrance exam however, she must reserve herself a place here. Inform her that she must call us before… Friday."
Friday? It was Monday. "Yeah sure." And without one more word I hung up, and in disbelief I began to examine my future obstacles.
***
Sweet relaxation. I tapped random buttons and it seemed to me as a natural reflex now. Video games… The source of nirvana. Sly Cooper: Theivious Raccounous… Hyne, I loved that game.
I made the raccoon figure slide down a wire (one of his super sneaky moves). I was at the 'Panda King' level. Did I mention how much I loved that game?
I heard the noise of the automatic garage door being opened. Julia and Joan must be back. Sure enough came the, "Squall?"
"Yeah, I'm upstairs!" I replied, saved my game and bounced out of the room. They had gone food shopping… I like food. Thoughts of Balamb and the upcoming exams occupied most of my thoughts. I had to admit I was worried.
***
"So?" Caraway leaned over his mashed potatoes and streak inquiringly. He was, to say the least, grilling Rinoa.
"So what?" She looked exasperated but over the last months, I had learned that supper was a ritual for Caraway. He picked one of his three kids, each night and simply grilled them with questions on school.
"I'm still waiting for the results of that physics exam." He ate some of his potatoes but his glare didn't shift. His eyes were set on her. The rest of the table was silent.
"Ok, fine." Her patience snapped suddenly, she slammed her glass of water down on the marble table, "I failed it, ok? I got a 49%… I flunked the test, dad." She got up from the table, dropped her plate off at the counter and was about to leave… When Caraway decided he would have the last word.
"That was an important one too." He growled.
"So sue me!" She yelled back at him and then she was gone.
An uncomfortable silence followed. I shut up and shoveled the steak and potatoes in my mouth. Mike and Stu did the same.
***
"Oh, what the hell do you want? I'm studying for another fucking physics exams." Her eyes withheld an unfriendly 'you're-going-straight-to-hell' look.
I leaned on her bedroom doorframe and sighed, "I've come to ask you a small favor… It's about the exams I have to pass."
"I can't even pass my own exams so you can shove yours up your own ass!" She snapped back at me. Feisty… Alrighty then…
"No, you don't understand I need your help. Listen, I'll do whatever it takes but I can't pass these intellectual exams without you!" I was starting to look pathetic… I started to beg. She gave me a disgusted look.
"Let me make this clear." She advanced towards me, "I'm busy, and you're fucked… Have a nice life!" She pushed me out her room and slammed the door in my face.
I turned around and walked back to my room. She was right… I was fucked. The worst part is that I really couldn't do anything. I didn't know where to find the resources; I didn't know where to find anything. And if I failed any intellectual exam or sanity exam… I wouldn't be Commander.
Something snapped in my head. I was supposed to give her the message… That Dawson College guy. I paused, while taking off my shirt in my room. I looked towards the door, considering whether to tell her or not.
I grimaced and said aloud, "Yeah, she can go burn in hell." And I switched off my light.
Sammy: Yeah, sorry. The chapter is pathetic, boring and short … and I didn't meet my deadline. It's Sunday … *Sighs* Ah well … I'm sorry! But I promise that next week will be a better and longer chapter … at least that's what I'm aiming for. I've finally figured out the whole storyline to this … a pathetic one maybe but it's still a story line! *All happy like* Please review …
