I don't own Smallville or any of the characters.
Author's note: I really do love most of the people on Smallville. The pain I inflict on them is my way of showing what good characters they are. . . . . . . . . OK I admit it. I put the characters threw pain because I'm sadistic and there is something funny about Clark hanging upside down and crying for his mommy. I mean he IS Superman. And that is what makes it so funny!!! Mwaahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!
Mmmmmmmmmmmm. The bald man gets angry. Much sexiness is seen.
**************************************************************************** *****************************
Clark builds up his courage and takes a flying leap off the Daily Planet building. Halfway in between it and the Luthor Corp. building, however, he stops suddenly and begins twirling in mid air from his momentum. Clark screams.
When he finally stops twirling, he is hanging up side down. Clark, the man who can stop bullets, run faster than anything on earth, light anything and every thing on fire, and who can see into the girls locker room in a single stare, . . . . . . . . Is crying like a baby. "AAAAA!!!! Get me down from here!!! HELP! HELP! I'm scared of heights!!! Whaaaaaaa!!!!!!"
Jonathan shakes his head as he looks up at his son. "Son, you can't die. Why are you scared of heights?"
"It's scary!!! Get me down!!!"
Jonathan sighs. "Now Clark. I know I always try to encourage you to be truthful and share your feelings . . . . . but Damn son!! Grow a back bone!!!"
Clark tries desperately to turn himself up right but only succeeds in flipping over a few times. "DAD!!! This is a valid fear that I have! If you can't respect that then be quiet! Whaaaaaa!!!"
Jonathan rolls his eyes. "Whatever."
Lex saunters over with several groupies and a Hug Slave. "Actually Clark, your father is right. With all your abilities, you should not be scared of something as small as a two hundred foot drop." Clark whimpers. "Or by the prospect that if you were a normal human, you would probably be dead by now."
Clark is clearly panicking now. "STOP IT!!! Neither of you are helping! I want my mommy!!!! MOMMY!!! Whaaaa!!! MOMMY!!!"
Martha and Lionel come out of the Luthor Corp. building with the terrorists and stand by Jonathan and Lex. Martha looks worriedly up at Clark. "Clark? Sweetie? Are you OK?"
"MOMMY!!! I'm scared of heights and dad and the Baldy Man are making fun of me!!!"
Martha glares at the two men. Lex shrugs and Jonathan rolls his eyes. "Honey. Clark is the strongest person in the world. He shouldn't be scared of heights."
Martha scolds Jonathan. "Now just because he is strong does not mean he does not have the right to be scared sometimes." Lex swallows a chuckle but Martha notices. "And you! You are his best friend! You should be more supportive of him!"
Lex gulps in fear of Martha. "Sorry Mrs. Kent."
Clark begins crying louder. "Whaaaaa!!! Help me! Help me!! Get me down! Mommy! Mommy!" A sudden change occurs in Clark. He lifts his head to the heavens and belts out. "Somebody SSSSSAAAAAAVVVVVEEEEEEEE MMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!"
Lex whips out a gun and takes a few pot shots at Clark. "That's my line Farm Boy!"
Lionel huffs. "I'm disappointed in you Lex!"
Lex nearly growls his question. "WHY?!"
Lionel shrugs. "Because I can."
Martha calls up to Clark. "Don't worry sweetie! I'll get you down. Somebody get me a fork lift!!!" Several people quickly move to make Martha's wish a reality. When one is brought in, Martha uses it to lift herself up to Clark who is now sobbing and whimpering. "I'm coming sweetie!!"
Left to their own devices, the men on the ground stand around. Jonathan notices the new woman hanging off of Lex and raises an eyebrow. "Lex. Did you get a new groupie?"
Lex smirks and shakes his head. "No. This is my Hug Slave. I got her for Christmas. Some humanitarian group thought I desperately needed hugs."
Jonathan nods. "Oh."
Lionel grumbles. "Lex, you are a pansy! No true leader NEEDS hugs! They are for the weak and powerless. Alexander the Great never got hugs! And he ruled the world! I'm disappointed in you Lex!"
The Hug Slave has wrapped herself around Lex to form a ' Protective Wall Of Hugging.' Lex hesitantly backs away from Lionel. Jonathan looks from father Luthor to son Luthor and shakes his head. "Damn Luthors."
Martha has returned to the ground with Clark hugging her tightly. When they are both safely on the ground, Clarks starts bouncing up and down with joy. "Hooray!! Mommy saved me!!"
Lionel snorts. "Oh, grow a back bone you pansy!!"
Clark looks like a puppy who has just been kicked. "But . . . ." Clark begins crying again.
Lex's Hug Slave rushes over to Clark and gives him a big bear hug. "There, there Clarky Bar! Don't cry!"
Clark responds between sobs. "I'm . . . . Not . . . . . . A Pansy!! Whaaaaaaa!!!"
Lex is pissed off at Lionel. "Dad, if you weren't going to get shot next week, I would have you killed for making Clark cry!"
Jonathan nods in agreement. "Me too!"
Martha grabs one of the terrorists guns. "Forget about next week!!! No one makes my Baby Cry. DIE FUZZY! DIE!!!" Martha pulls the trigger but nothing happens. She looks questioningly at the gun and then at the terrorists. "What the hell?"
The terrorist shrugs. "I guess I forgot to load the gun before I tried to take people hostage."
Lionel laughs evilly. His eyes glow red, a hot wind picks up and he begins to levitate. "Mwahahahahah!! I will never die! I am Satan!!" Lionel, returning to normal, then smiles smugly at Martha. "I will forget your attempt on my life if you become my willing Sex Slave until I get bored of you or you go insane."
Martha wraps her arms around Jonathan. "Hell no! I love my Farm Boy! He is all I need."
Lionel looks as if he is going to destroy something for a minuet but then shrugs. "Your loss."
Lana suddenly runs in crying. "Whitney is dead!!! Boo Hoo!!"
Lex raises an eyebrow at Lana. "Lana . . . . ." Lex sighs in disgust. "Never mind."
Lana ignores Lex. "Why does everyone leave me??!!"
Lex rolls his eyes sarcastically. "Because you are a whiny whore who is leading on one of the most good looking and good acting persons in the world?"
Lana stops for a second. "You know, I never thought of it that way. I really am an awful whore. . . . . Oh well!" The water works start up again. "Whitney is DEAD!!!"
"Oh please!"
"I'm a Fairy Princess!"
Lex spreads his hands in exasperation. "Are you even in this episode?"
Lana stops and considers it for a moment before going back on her ranting. "At my signal . . . unleash hell!"
Clark Pipes up. "I'm The Prettiest!!"
Lex groans. "Not you too!"
Lana hops up and down. "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
Clark tries to look tuff. "Wendy, I can fly!"
Lex curls into a ball on the ground. "Make it stop! Make it stop!!"
Jonathan looks at Martha as the three main characters continue doing whatever it is that they are doing. "Dear? Should we maybe leave them alone to . . .. . . . do what ever they are doing?"
Martha nods. "Yes dear."
All the people except for Lana, Clark and Lex leave. The three of them continue until the camera people get annoyed and walk off the set.
NEXT TIME ON SMALLVILLE . . . . . . . . . . . .
Author's note: I really do love most of the people on Smallville. The pain I inflict on them is my way of showing what good characters they are. . . . . . . . . OK I admit it. I put the characters threw pain because I'm sadistic and there is something funny about Clark hanging upside down and crying for his mommy. I mean he IS Superman. And that is what makes it so funny!!! Mwaahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!
Mmmmmmmmmmmm. The bald man gets angry. Much sexiness is seen.
**************************************************************************** *****************************
Clark builds up his courage and takes a flying leap off the Daily Planet building. Halfway in between it and the Luthor Corp. building, however, he stops suddenly and begins twirling in mid air from his momentum. Clark screams.
When he finally stops twirling, he is hanging up side down. Clark, the man who can stop bullets, run faster than anything on earth, light anything and every thing on fire, and who can see into the girls locker room in a single stare, . . . . . . . . Is crying like a baby. "AAAAA!!!! Get me down from here!!! HELP! HELP! I'm scared of heights!!! Whaaaaaaa!!!!!!"
Jonathan shakes his head as he looks up at his son. "Son, you can't die. Why are you scared of heights?"
"It's scary!!! Get me down!!!"
Jonathan sighs. "Now Clark. I know I always try to encourage you to be truthful and share your feelings . . . . . but Damn son!! Grow a back bone!!!"
Clark tries desperately to turn himself up right but only succeeds in flipping over a few times. "DAD!!! This is a valid fear that I have! If you can't respect that then be quiet! Whaaaaaa!!!"
Jonathan rolls his eyes. "Whatever."
Lex saunters over with several groupies and a Hug Slave. "Actually Clark, your father is right. With all your abilities, you should not be scared of something as small as a two hundred foot drop." Clark whimpers. "Or by the prospect that if you were a normal human, you would probably be dead by now."
Clark is clearly panicking now. "STOP IT!!! Neither of you are helping! I want my mommy!!!! MOMMY!!! Whaaaa!!! MOMMY!!!"
Martha and Lionel come out of the Luthor Corp. building with the terrorists and stand by Jonathan and Lex. Martha looks worriedly up at Clark. "Clark? Sweetie? Are you OK?"
"MOMMY!!! I'm scared of heights and dad and the Baldy Man are making fun of me!!!"
Martha glares at the two men. Lex shrugs and Jonathan rolls his eyes. "Honey. Clark is the strongest person in the world. He shouldn't be scared of heights."
Martha scolds Jonathan. "Now just because he is strong does not mean he does not have the right to be scared sometimes." Lex swallows a chuckle but Martha notices. "And you! You are his best friend! You should be more supportive of him!"
Lex gulps in fear of Martha. "Sorry Mrs. Kent."
Clark begins crying louder. "Whaaaaa!!! Help me! Help me!! Get me down! Mommy! Mommy!" A sudden change occurs in Clark. He lifts his head to the heavens and belts out. "Somebody SSSSSAAAAAAVVVVVEEEEEEEE MMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!"
Lex whips out a gun and takes a few pot shots at Clark. "That's my line Farm Boy!"
Lionel huffs. "I'm disappointed in you Lex!"
Lex nearly growls his question. "WHY?!"
Lionel shrugs. "Because I can."
Martha calls up to Clark. "Don't worry sweetie! I'll get you down. Somebody get me a fork lift!!!" Several people quickly move to make Martha's wish a reality. When one is brought in, Martha uses it to lift herself up to Clark who is now sobbing and whimpering. "I'm coming sweetie!!"
Left to their own devices, the men on the ground stand around. Jonathan notices the new woman hanging off of Lex and raises an eyebrow. "Lex. Did you get a new groupie?"
Lex smirks and shakes his head. "No. This is my Hug Slave. I got her for Christmas. Some humanitarian group thought I desperately needed hugs."
Jonathan nods. "Oh."
Lionel grumbles. "Lex, you are a pansy! No true leader NEEDS hugs! They are for the weak and powerless. Alexander the Great never got hugs! And he ruled the world! I'm disappointed in you Lex!"
The Hug Slave has wrapped herself around Lex to form a ' Protective Wall Of Hugging.' Lex hesitantly backs away from Lionel. Jonathan looks from father Luthor to son Luthor and shakes his head. "Damn Luthors."
Martha has returned to the ground with Clark hugging her tightly. When they are both safely on the ground, Clarks starts bouncing up and down with joy. "Hooray!! Mommy saved me!!"
Lionel snorts. "Oh, grow a back bone you pansy!!"
Clark looks like a puppy who has just been kicked. "But . . . ." Clark begins crying again.
Lex's Hug Slave rushes over to Clark and gives him a big bear hug. "There, there Clarky Bar! Don't cry!"
Clark responds between sobs. "I'm . . . . Not . . . . . . A Pansy!! Whaaaaaaa!!!"
Lex is pissed off at Lionel. "Dad, if you weren't going to get shot next week, I would have you killed for making Clark cry!"
Jonathan nods in agreement. "Me too!"
Martha grabs one of the terrorists guns. "Forget about next week!!! No one makes my Baby Cry. DIE FUZZY! DIE!!!" Martha pulls the trigger but nothing happens. She looks questioningly at the gun and then at the terrorists. "What the hell?"
The terrorist shrugs. "I guess I forgot to load the gun before I tried to take people hostage."
Lionel laughs evilly. His eyes glow red, a hot wind picks up and he begins to levitate. "Mwahahahahah!! I will never die! I am Satan!!" Lionel, returning to normal, then smiles smugly at Martha. "I will forget your attempt on my life if you become my willing Sex Slave until I get bored of you or you go insane."
Martha wraps her arms around Jonathan. "Hell no! I love my Farm Boy! He is all I need."
Lionel looks as if he is going to destroy something for a minuet but then shrugs. "Your loss."
Lana suddenly runs in crying. "Whitney is dead!!! Boo Hoo!!"
Lex raises an eyebrow at Lana. "Lana . . . . ." Lex sighs in disgust. "Never mind."
Lana ignores Lex. "Why does everyone leave me??!!"
Lex rolls his eyes sarcastically. "Because you are a whiny whore who is leading on one of the most good looking and good acting persons in the world?"
Lana stops for a second. "You know, I never thought of it that way. I really am an awful whore. . . . . Oh well!" The water works start up again. "Whitney is DEAD!!!"
"Oh please!"
"I'm a Fairy Princess!"
Lex spreads his hands in exasperation. "Are you even in this episode?"
Lana stops and considers it for a moment before going back on her ranting. "At my signal . . . unleash hell!"
Clark Pipes up. "I'm The Prettiest!!"
Lex groans. "Not you too!"
Lana hops up and down. "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
Clark tries to look tuff. "Wendy, I can fly!"
Lex curls into a ball on the ground. "Make it stop! Make it stop!!"
Jonathan looks at Martha as the three main characters continue doing whatever it is that they are doing. "Dear? Should we maybe leave them alone to . . .. . . . do what ever they are doing?"
Martha nods. "Yes dear."
All the people except for Lana, Clark and Lex leave. The three of them continue until the camera people get annoyed and walk off the set.
NEXT TIME ON SMALLVILLE . . . . . . . . . . . .
