Sorry this took so long guys, but I had a short-term case of writers block, and then I got rather busy with school. So without further delayÉ
WesleyÕs Torment: part 3/?
Giles sat down at the computer and began to search on the net. This is normally a task that Angel would ask Wesley to do, but considering the circumstances it would be better if Giles did it. He pulled up the database to the watchers main frame. He then accessed the private documents, which was precisely what he was looking for. A password was always required but he didnÕt know if they would keep the same one that they used when he was a watcher. He tried it. ACCESS DENIED flashed across the screen. He thought for a moment and typed in another word. He was denied again. He stood up and started to pace.
ÒIf I was still a watcher and I wanted to access something what would I use that no ordinary person would know?Ó He pondered out loud. A moment later he was sitting at the computer again. He typed in another word, this time, ACCESS GRANTED flashed across the screen. He easily found his way around to the information he needed. He printed it out and headed over to the Hyperion.
~*~
Wesley found himself sitting on the floor in front of an open book. He looked at it curiously. He read the first line and realized what it was. It was a diary of some sort. But whoÕs. He stood and walked out holding the diary in his hand. He walked down stairs to see Angel and Cordelia sitting on the couch, Giles across from them. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. He cleared his throat.
ÒI umÉfound this in that room that I so childishly locked myself into. I have no idea who it belongs to, or why I just happen to find it. But by the looks of things it seems importantÉI am also sorry about the way I have been acting lately. I just, I think I needed sometime alone. Ò
ÒIÕm glad that your feeling better, Wes. It is good to have you back.Ó
ÒItÕs good to be back.Ó
Angel stood and walked over to him. ÒHas it ever been this bad?Ó
ÒWhat?Ó
ÒWhatever your rememberingÉyour depression?Ó
ÒYes, but only once before. I didnÕt think I would ever return to this stateÉI think
I might need some help, I canÕt do this alone anymore. Will you guys help me?Ó
ÒYes, of course, what do you think we have been trying to do? Anything you needÉlet us know.Ó
He nodded, and went over to his desk to begin his search.
~*~
He sat in the office, uncomfortably. Hands in his lap, palms sweaty.
The office door opened and a woman walked in.
ÒWesley, I presume?Ó
ÒYes. Dr. Atkins?Ó
ÒYes. Why are you here Wesley?Ó
ÒWellÉI have been ratherÉdown lately and I donÕt know why. I guess I would like
to knowÉ what is going on with me.Ó
ÒOkay. Good. ThatÕs a start. Tell me a little about yourself Wesley.Ó She sat down across from him a pad and paper in hand, tape recorder on.
ÒIs that absolutely necessary?Ó
ÒYes. If I am to diagnose you properly I will need to review our sessions later.Ó
ÒAl-alright. I donÕt know where to begin reallyÉÓ
ÒThe beginning is always a good place.Ó
He nodded and swallowed.
ÒOkay. My name is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce and I work for Angel Investigations. My mother is dead and my dad is in jail.Ó
ÒHow does that make you feel?Ó
ÒWhat do you mean? How does what make me feel?Ó
ÒYour mother being dead and your dad being in jail, how does it make you feel?Ó
ÒI am troubled by my mothers death and relieved that my
father is in jail.Ó
ÒWhy?Ó
ÒMy father killed my mother because she was protecting me.Ó
ÒProtecting you? Protecting you from what?Ó
ÒFrom him.Ó
ÒWesley what did he do to you?Ó
He swallowed, as if he was trying to bury his emotions.
ÒIÉheÉwas abusive.Ó
ÒAbusive? How?Ó
ÒHe would hit me and yell at me all the time.Ó
ÒHow long ago was this?Ó
ÒI was thirteen.Ó
ÒHow old are you now?Ó
ÒThirty.Ó
ÒThat was awhile ago. How long did it go on for?Ó
ÒFor as long as I can remember.Ó
ÒYou have been traumatized at a
very young age.Ó She stated as she jotted some things down on her pad.
ÒWhat are you writing?Ó
ÒJust some notes that will help me later. Okay, what else
happened to you as a child?Ó
ÒI was put into foster homes and I bounced in and out of those for quite some
time.Ó
ÒWhat happened to you? Why did you change homes?Ó
He looked down at the ground, hands clasped together. ÒMore abuse.Ó He mumbled.
ÒWould you like to talk about it?Ó
ÒIÉI was sexually abused as well as physically.Ó
She looked up from what she was writing, an eyebrow raised. ÒReally? You donÕt
seem to have much luck.Ó
ÒI would rather not talk about that.Ó
ÒNow that I know a bit of your background, what is been happening recently?
What has happened that has sent you to me?Ó
ÒI have been cutting myself and I tried to kill myself, but my friend Angel saved me.Ó
ÒWhat did you use?Ó
ÒAny thing I could find. I stabbed my leg one night with a knife. I was washing
dishes and cut the palm of my hand, I used razors and cut into the skin of my
arms, legs, anywhere I could reach.Ó
ÒAre you happy about this behavior?Ó
ÒNo, maÕam IÕm not.Ó
ÒWhat would you like to do about that?Ó
ÒIÉIÕm here, right?Ó
ÒYes you are. But you went a long way before you realized
you needed help. How do I know that you wonÕt leave here and try to cut
yourself or kill yourself?Ó
ÒBecause my friends will be helping me, and keeping me busy.Ó
ÒYes, but they cant watch you 24/7, Wesley. There is a flaw in your plan.Ó
ÒAt least I have one. Why are you getting on my case?Ó
ÒI just want to make sure you will be okay. I donÕt want you to make progress
here and then go and destroy it. Will you sign a no harm contract?Ó
ÒWhat is that?Ó
ÒIt is a contract that states that if you hurt yourself you will be
institutionalized in order for you to receive better care.Ó
ÒNo. I am not crazy. I donÕt need to be institutionalized.Ó
ÒI never said that you were. It is a tool to help you, thatÕs all.Ó
ÒSo, if I sign this, its purely voluntary?Ó
ÒYes, but if you violate the contract after you sign it, you will have no
choice but to follow what it states.Ó
He thought for a moment and then nodded. Knowing that it was for his own good.
She brought out a sheet of paper, and he signed it before he changed his mind. She put it away in a file and put it in her desk.
ÒI will see you on Thursday Wesley.Ó
ÒWeÕre done?Ó
ÒYes. I will come up with a structured program that I think will work for you.
We will go into some things, more in depth on Thursday.Ó
He stood, nodded and left.
