Sometimes I wonder about the fate of the human race. But I wonder no
longer. I know how we'll end up: we're screwed. Don't believe me? Here's a
snippet of a phone conversation I had at work today:
Me: "Hello. Crown Jewelry and Loan. This is Tomm, how can I help you?"
Caller: "Ummm...is this Crown Jewelry and Loan?"
Me: pause "Yes. How can I help you?"
Caller: "I...ummm...I'm looking at your ad. It says you buy and trade. Do you buy and trade?"
And it just goes on like this. Sigh...if there was only a way to put the massive stupidity of our species to good use.
Reader response:
digimon-lover; Alara-Sirinial-Amalon; DJ Eagel: I've got a thousand monkeys typing round the clock, but due to budget shortages, I only have three typewriters instead of a thousand. We'll get the next chapter up as soon as I cut a deal with their union leader about bananas in the company vending machines.
RIA: Like his personality? Thankee. Although the time warp thingy is a little weird, it has nothing to do with the Ellimist. I think using him as a way to explain all sorts of unrealistic stuff is lame.
Oedipal Kat: Thanks. Although it looks like one, this isn't a self- insertion at all. Ryan's completely made up, not based on anyone I know. If it was self-insertion, Ryan would be spending all of his time playing poker and cursing stupid pawnshop customers. :o)
Amy Angelblade: Lost your spark? Just do what I do. To connect events, try to do it in the simplest, most basic way possible. That way, it looks like it was "all meant to be", when in reality it's just a bunch of coincidences.or is it?
Qwerty: I assume you mean "Turok", the video game? I've never played it, so any correlation is completely coincidental.
L: Research papers. The bane of all students. You want Ryan as an Animorph. Hmmmm. Will he become one? Well, I don't know. Who knows? He might not need to become one.
Here we go with the actual story now!
Chapter 7: Marco's POV.
All right. Ryan's inside. He's wearing an normal, white shirt, jeans and gloves.
Tobias was doing his usual part: aerial watch. We were getting in position to attack when Ryan's firecrackers went off. When Erek showed us the plans, he showed that there aren't any security cameras outside. It made sense. After all, why would a community rec center that's open to the public have any security al all?
Probably because this rec center's a death factory. I said to no one in particular.
Prince Jake, the firecracker will detonate in thirty seconds. Ax informed us of the time.
All right, Jake responded. Rush 'em. Clear the front public area, then get to the chokepoint. Bust the door in then rush the production area. Then get out. This shouldn't take long.
It turns out that this building is divided into two parts. One is the public rec area. The other is where the bombs are produced. Connecting the two is a small room. The public side of this room is unlocked, but the door to the production floor is secure, even including a numeric keypad. Erek had found the code for us, though.
Five seconds.
I braced myself, and got ready to move. I was in my main battle morph: a gorilla. A gorilla can break walls down if he's in the mood.
Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
Zero.
...
Why isn't it...
BOOM!! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!
It was three seconds late, Ax explained.
Go! Now! Jake made the call. We all moved in.
After smashing through the window, I took a quick look around. The place was in chaos, as Ryan told me it would be. Everyone was either running for the exit, or standing their ground. Those who stood still and alert were our targets.
They may have been alert, but we were able to time it almost perfectly. We each were able to drop a Controller before any real shots got off. Those that did fire missed completely.
I didn't notice if Ryan was away. But, more importantly, we had a job to do.
We all made our way to the chokepoint room. After pushing the door open, Ax started entering the code.
I noticed a little smoke coming from a vent. This must've been where he planted the firecrackers. There was also a little green bag on left open on the floor.
I'm finished, Ax said. We have access.
The door opened. What did we see? Two factory workers with their guns trained on the door. They fired.
ARRRGH! I wailed as one of the bullets struck me in the stomach. But we were already barreling toward them. When we got there, we knocked them out with ease. Ax went to work finding a bomb and setting it.
Tobias! We're in. Anything happening outside? Jake asked.
No, I don't see any kind of response. That'll change soon though.
Rachel had something to add. Hey, couldn't we keep a few of these bombs? They might come in handy.
Jake answered. We can't take them out. Only Ax and Marco have hands, and Andalites and gorilla just down walk down the street.
I had a response for my crazy compatriot. Hey Ax, aren't these things inert? Meaning, there's no way to sense them?
Ax was still working on priming one of them, but he had answered: No. Scanners will not be able to sense them.
Perfect, Rachel says. We can just hide a few somewhere nearby. We can come and get them later.
All right, Jake says. Grab a few, and find a box to put them in. We'll stash it behind a Dumpster or something.
Unfortunately, there weren't any boxes around. There were only large steel crates. Those won't hide anything.
The little bag near the door! That can hold a few. I grabbed it, and started stuffing it with the bombs. They were about the size of an apple.
Prince Jake, the bomb is armed. It will detonate in one minute, perhaps we should leave?
Tobias called: Jake! The cops are starting to arrive, they'll be here in about three minutes.
Time's up, everybody get out! Marco, Cassie, stash the bombs somewhere once you're outside. The walls of the building will contain the blast.
Cassie and I ran through the chokepoint room. As I ran out, I noticed a weird black thing on the ceiling. Probably a security camera. I smiled my lovable gorilla smile at it, and continued running out, with the bag of bombs in tow.
I'd like to say that the bomb exploded the instant we were clear, Miami Vice-style, but it didn't work that way. We were outside with at least 15 seconds to spare.
Marco, I found a place to hide them! Come over here, Cassie directed me.
I lumbered over as best I could, but I was already starting to morph human. Cassie was morphing as well. She pointed a finger/wolf claw toward a pile of cardboard boxed and trashcans.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
Debris started flying out of the windows as I remembered that the bomb hadn't gone off yet. Oh yeah.
Anyway, I stached the green bag under the boxes. It's going to take a real odd coincidence for this to be found.
Cassie had already morphed to osprey. I started to do the same.
Is everyone away? Jake asked.
One by one, we all reported:
That was awesome!: Rachel.
I'm safe.: Cassie.
I am safely away, Prince Jake.: Ax
My presence still graces this earth.: Me.
Tobias interjected: Okay boys and girls, it's time to go. The cops will be here in two.
We flew off, back toward Cassie's barn. Cassie seemed to have something on her mind though...
Marco, she said to me in private thought-speak. Ryan put the firecrackers in the chokepoint room, right? Did he forget his bag?
Maybe, why?
Because of the security camera on the ceiling. It sees Ryan come in, plant something in a vent, and leave the bag behind. It then sees us use the bag to steal bombs. It'll look like he was helping us.
A/N: Somebody's in some hot water. Good luck Ryan, you might need a lot of luck to weasel out of this prank's consequences...
Me: "Hello. Crown Jewelry and Loan. This is Tomm, how can I help you?"
Caller: "Ummm...is this Crown Jewelry and Loan?"
Me: pause "Yes. How can I help you?"
Caller: "I...ummm...I'm looking at your ad. It says you buy and trade. Do you buy and trade?"
And it just goes on like this. Sigh...if there was only a way to put the massive stupidity of our species to good use.
Reader response:
digimon-lover; Alara-Sirinial-Amalon; DJ Eagel: I've got a thousand monkeys typing round the clock, but due to budget shortages, I only have three typewriters instead of a thousand. We'll get the next chapter up as soon as I cut a deal with their union leader about bananas in the company vending machines.
RIA: Like his personality? Thankee. Although the time warp thingy is a little weird, it has nothing to do with the Ellimist. I think using him as a way to explain all sorts of unrealistic stuff is lame.
Oedipal Kat: Thanks. Although it looks like one, this isn't a self- insertion at all. Ryan's completely made up, not based on anyone I know. If it was self-insertion, Ryan would be spending all of his time playing poker and cursing stupid pawnshop customers. :o)
Amy Angelblade: Lost your spark? Just do what I do. To connect events, try to do it in the simplest, most basic way possible. That way, it looks like it was "all meant to be", when in reality it's just a bunch of coincidences.or is it?
Qwerty: I assume you mean "Turok", the video game? I've never played it, so any correlation is completely coincidental.
L: Research papers. The bane of all students. You want Ryan as an Animorph. Hmmmm. Will he become one? Well, I don't know. Who knows? He might not need to become one.
Here we go with the actual story now!
Chapter 7: Marco's POV.
All right. Ryan's inside. He's wearing an normal, white shirt, jeans and gloves.
Tobias was doing his usual part: aerial watch. We were getting in position to attack when Ryan's firecrackers went off. When Erek showed us the plans, he showed that there aren't any security cameras outside. It made sense. After all, why would a community rec center that's open to the public have any security al all?
Probably because this rec center's a death factory. I said to no one in particular.
Prince Jake, the firecracker will detonate in thirty seconds. Ax informed us of the time.
All right, Jake responded. Rush 'em. Clear the front public area, then get to the chokepoint. Bust the door in then rush the production area. Then get out. This shouldn't take long.
It turns out that this building is divided into two parts. One is the public rec area. The other is where the bombs are produced. Connecting the two is a small room. The public side of this room is unlocked, but the door to the production floor is secure, even including a numeric keypad. Erek had found the code for us, though.
Five seconds.
I braced myself, and got ready to move. I was in my main battle morph: a gorilla. A gorilla can break walls down if he's in the mood.
Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
Zero.
...
Why isn't it...
BOOM!! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!
It was three seconds late, Ax explained.
Go! Now! Jake made the call. We all moved in.
After smashing through the window, I took a quick look around. The place was in chaos, as Ryan told me it would be. Everyone was either running for the exit, or standing their ground. Those who stood still and alert were our targets.
They may have been alert, but we were able to time it almost perfectly. We each were able to drop a Controller before any real shots got off. Those that did fire missed completely.
I didn't notice if Ryan was away. But, more importantly, we had a job to do.
We all made our way to the chokepoint room. After pushing the door open, Ax started entering the code.
I noticed a little smoke coming from a vent. This must've been where he planted the firecrackers. There was also a little green bag on left open on the floor.
I'm finished, Ax said. We have access.
The door opened. What did we see? Two factory workers with their guns trained on the door. They fired.
ARRRGH! I wailed as one of the bullets struck me in the stomach. But we were already barreling toward them. When we got there, we knocked them out with ease. Ax went to work finding a bomb and setting it.
Tobias! We're in. Anything happening outside? Jake asked.
No, I don't see any kind of response. That'll change soon though.
Rachel had something to add. Hey, couldn't we keep a few of these bombs? They might come in handy.
Jake answered. We can't take them out. Only Ax and Marco have hands, and Andalites and gorilla just down walk down the street.
I had a response for my crazy compatriot. Hey Ax, aren't these things inert? Meaning, there's no way to sense them?
Ax was still working on priming one of them, but he had answered: No. Scanners will not be able to sense them.
Perfect, Rachel says. We can just hide a few somewhere nearby. We can come and get them later.
All right, Jake says. Grab a few, and find a box to put them in. We'll stash it behind a Dumpster or something.
Unfortunately, there weren't any boxes around. There were only large steel crates. Those won't hide anything.
The little bag near the door! That can hold a few. I grabbed it, and started stuffing it with the bombs. They were about the size of an apple.
Prince Jake, the bomb is armed. It will detonate in one minute, perhaps we should leave?
Tobias called: Jake! The cops are starting to arrive, they'll be here in about three minutes.
Time's up, everybody get out! Marco, Cassie, stash the bombs somewhere once you're outside. The walls of the building will contain the blast.
Cassie and I ran through the chokepoint room. As I ran out, I noticed a weird black thing on the ceiling. Probably a security camera. I smiled my lovable gorilla smile at it, and continued running out, with the bag of bombs in tow.
I'd like to say that the bomb exploded the instant we were clear, Miami Vice-style, but it didn't work that way. We were outside with at least 15 seconds to spare.
Marco, I found a place to hide them! Come over here, Cassie directed me.
I lumbered over as best I could, but I was already starting to morph human. Cassie was morphing as well. She pointed a finger/wolf claw toward a pile of cardboard boxed and trashcans.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
Debris started flying out of the windows as I remembered that the bomb hadn't gone off yet. Oh yeah.
Anyway, I stached the green bag under the boxes. It's going to take a real odd coincidence for this to be found.
Cassie had already morphed to osprey. I started to do the same.
Is everyone away? Jake asked.
One by one, we all reported:
That was awesome!: Rachel.
I'm safe.: Cassie.
I am safely away, Prince Jake.: Ax
My presence still graces this earth.: Me.
Tobias interjected: Okay boys and girls, it's time to go. The cops will be here in two.
We flew off, back toward Cassie's barn. Cassie seemed to have something on her mind though...
Marco, she said to me in private thought-speak. Ryan put the firecrackers in the chokepoint room, right? Did he forget his bag?
Maybe, why?
Because of the security camera on the ceiling. It sees Ryan come in, plant something in a vent, and leave the bag behind. It then sees us use the bag to steal bombs. It'll look like he was helping us.
A/N: Somebody's in some hot water. Good luck Ryan, you might need a lot of luck to weasel out of this prank's consequences...
