Mickey's Ideas for the Unfortunate Event Film Trailers.
THE MISERABLE MILL
(THE DREAMWORKS LOGO APPEARS. )
( THE SCREEN THEN GOES BLACK. THEN THE WORDS A BARRY SONNEFIELD FILM SHOW UP ON A PIECE OF WOOD IN CHEWED UP GUM. )
NARRARATOR - Lucky Smells Lumbermill is a very small buissness place -
( SHOW A FLASH OF THE PINCHER MACHINE.)
NARRARATOR - ... but to the Baudelaire orphans, its big trouble.
( HEDWIGS THEME SLOWLY BEGINS TO START.)
(WE SEE THE BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS WALK UP TO THE GATE OF LUCKY SMELLS LUMBERMILL THE WORDS " LUCKY SMELLS LUMBERMILL " IS WRITTEN IN CHEWED UP GUM.)
KLAUS - No, it can't be. Violet look.
VIOLET - ( impatiently ) I know. Its written in chewed up gum.
KLAUS -No, look.
( THE CAMERA SLOWLY GOES UP A NEARBY BUILDING WHICH IS THE EXACT SAME SHAPE AND COLOR AS COUNT OLAF'S TATTOO. )
ALL 3 BAUDELAIRES - * gasps *
NARRARATOR - Its more misfortune for the Baudelaire orphans .
( SHOW THE BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS COVERED IN SAWDUST.)
NARRARATOR - First off, they are forced to work in the lumbermill. Secondly, they have a nasty Foreman named Flacutono, and number three Count Olaf is very nearby.
( WE SEE FOREMAN FLACUTONO BANGING HIS POTS TOGETHER AND THEN THE POTS SUDDENLY DROP.)
( WE SEE KLAUS RUNNING QUICKLY TO PICK THE POTS UP. FOREMAN FLACUTONO STICKS OUT HIS FOOT. KLAUS FALLS TO THE FLOOR OF THE MILL.)
KLAUS - Hey, you tripped me!
F.FLACUTONO - I don't know what you're talking about. Oh dear, it looks like your glasses are broken. Why don't you go to the building in the shape of an eye and get a new pair ?
( WE SEE A MAN COME AND TAKE KLAUS BY THE ARM AND LEAD HIM OUT OF THE MILL.)
KLAUS - No, please help me !
NARRARATOR -It's more misery and despair for the Baudelaire orphans.
( SHOW A FLASH OF KLAUS OPENING THE GATE OF THE MILL, AND HE WALKS VERY SLOWLY SLOWLY ACROSS THE COURTYARD.)
SUNNY - Klaus!
VIOLET - Klaus ,your back !
( SEE VIOLET RUN UP TO HIM AND GIVE HIM A HUG. KLAUS GIVES HIS SISTERS A LOOK AS THOUGH HE JUST MET THEM. )
KLAUS - Where am I?
VIOLET - Klaus, you are at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill.
( KLAUS'S EYES GO VERY WIDE. )
KLAUS - Yes sir.
( THE 2 BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS EXCHANGE GLANCES. )
VIOLET - Something is very wrong.
( THE MUSIC QUICKENS. )
( WE SEE KLAUS WORKING THE PINCHER MACHINE. VIOLET READING A BIG BOOK. SUNNY IN THE SWORDFIGHT WITH DR. ORWELL. THEN SEE A BIG FLAT STONE COME DOWN ON A MAN'S LEG . EVERYONE TURNS T KLAUS WHO WAS CONTROLLING THE MACHINE.
SIR - I was informed one of you caused an accident today , accidents are caused by ba workers -
( SHOW THE DAMAGED PINCHER MACHINE. )
SIR - A nice young lady named Shirley is more than happy to take you in if you cause anymore accidents.
SUNNY - Shirley?
( SHOW A FLASH OF A WOMAN WHO REALLY LOOKS LIKE A MAN. )
( THE WORDS " STARRING JIM CARREY " APPEAR ON A PIECE OF A BROWN BOARD, IN CHEWED UP GUM.)
CUT TO SCENE IS SIR'S OFFICE.
VIOLET - SHES NOT SHIRLEY! Its Count Olaf!
MUSIC GETS EVEN FASTER. WE SEE KLAUS WALKING TOWARDS A LOG, PUSHING IT CLOSER TO THE SAW.
VIOLET - Klaus, no!
THE MUSIC STOPS WITH A BIG BLAST . THEN THE WORDS
THE MISERY CONTINUES SPRING 2005 APPEAR ON A PIECE OF BROWN BOARDS IN CHEWED UP GUM.
A PREVIEW OF THE AUSTERE ACADEMY
AN ARCHWAY THAT HAS ' MEMENTO MORI ' WRITTEN ON IT COMES INTO VIEW.
VIOLET -Memento mori - Remember you will die.
KLAUS - * repeats softly * - Remember you will die.
VIOLET - * trns to siblings * Lets promise b4 we die we'll solve the mystery that lead us to our misery.
THE WORDS ' MEMENTO MORI ' MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPEAR ON THE ARCHWAY AND THE WORDS ' SOME MYSTERIES JUST WONT DIE ' APPEAR ON THE ARCHWAY IN SHIMMERING SILVER PRINT.
ALL 3 BAUDELAIRES NOD IN SOLEMN AGREEMENT TO WHAT VIOLET SAID.
(THE DREAMWORKS LOGO APPEARS. )
( THE SCREEN THEN GOES BLACK. THEN THE WORDS A BARRY SONNEFIELD FILM SHOW UP ON A PIECE OF WOOD IN CHEWED UP GUM. )
NARRARATOR - Lucky Smells Lumbermill is a very small buissness place -
( SHOW A FLASH OF THE PINCHER MACHINE.)
NARRARATOR - ... but to the Baudelaire orphans, its big trouble.
( HEDWIGS THEME SLOWLY BEGINS TO START.)
(WE SEE THE BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS WALK UP TO THE GATE OF LUCKY SMELLS LUMBERMILL THE WORDS " LUCKY SMELLS LUMBERMILL " IS WRITTEN IN CHEWED UP GUM.)
KLAUS - No, it can't be. Violet look.
VIOLET - ( impatiently ) I know. Its written in chewed up gum.
KLAUS -No, look.
( THE CAMERA SLOWLY GOES UP A NEARBY BUILDING WHICH IS THE EXACT SAME SHAPE AND COLOR AS COUNT OLAF'S TATTOO. )
ALL 3 BAUDELAIRES - * gasps *
NARRARATOR - Its more misfortune for the Baudelaire orphans .
( SHOW THE BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS COVERED IN SAWDUST.)
NARRARATOR - First off, they are forced to work in the lumbermill. Secondly, they have a nasty Foreman named Flacutono, and number three Count Olaf is very nearby.
( WE SEE FOREMAN FLACUTONO BANGING HIS POTS TOGETHER AND THEN THE POTS SUDDENLY DROP.)
( WE SEE KLAUS RUNNING QUICKLY TO PICK THE POTS UP. FOREMAN FLACUTONO STICKS OUT HIS FOOT. KLAUS FALLS TO THE FLOOR OF THE MILL.)
KLAUS - Hey, you tripped me!
F.FLACUTONO - I don't know what you're talking about. Oh dear, it looks like your glasses are broken. Why don't you go to the building in the shape of an eye and get a new pair ?
( WE SEE A MAN COME AND TAKE KLAUS BY THE ARM AND LEAD HIM OUT OF THE MILL.)
KLAUS - No, please help me !
NARRARATOR -It's more misery and despair for the Baudelaire orphans.
( SHOW A FLASH OF KLAUS OPENING THE GATE OF THE MILL, AND HE WALKS VERY SLOWLY SLOWLY ACROSS THE COURTYARD.)
SUNNY - Klaus!
VIOLET - Klaus ,your back !
( SEE VIOLET RUN UP TO HIM AND GIVE HIM A HUG. KLAUS GIVES HIS SISTERS A LOOK AS THOUGH HE JUST MET THEM. )
KLAUS - Where am I?
VIOLET - Klaus, you are at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill.
( KLAUS'S EYES GO VERY WIDE. )
KLAUS - Yes sir.
( THE 2 BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS EXCHANGE GLANCES. )
VIOLET - Something is very wrong.
( THE MUSIC QUICKENS. )
( WE SEE KLAUS WORKING THE PINCHER MACHINE. VIOLET READING A BIG BOOK. SUNNY IN THE SWORDFIGHT WITH DR. ORWELL. THEN SEE A BIG FLAT STONE COME DOWN ON A MAN'S LEG . EVERYONE TURNS T KLAUS WHO WAS CONTROLLING THE MACHINE.
SIR - I was informed one of you caused an accident today , accidents are caused by ba workers -
( SHOW THE DAMAGED PINCHER MACHINE. )
SIR - A nice young lady named Shirley is more than happy to take you in if you cause anymore accidents.
SUNNY - Shirley?
( SHOW A FLASH OF A WOMAN WHO REALLY LOOKS LIKE A MAN. )
( THE WORDS " STARRING JIM CARREY " APPEAR ON A PIECE OF A BROWN BOARD, IN CHEWED UP GUM.)
CUT TO SCENE IS SIR'S OFFICE.
VIOLET - SHES NOT SHIRLEY! Its Count Olaf!
MUSIC GETS EVEN FASTER. WE SEE KLAUS WALKING TOWARDS A LOG, PUSHING IT CLOSER TO THE SAW.
VIOLET - Klaus, no!
THE MUSIC STOPS WITH A BIG BLAST . THEN THE WORDS
THE MISERY CONTINUES SPRING 2005 APPEAR ON A PIECE OF BROWN BOARDS IN CHEWED UP GUM.
A PREVIEW OF THE AUSTERE ACADEMY
AN ARCHWAY THAT HAS ' MEMENTO MORI ' WRITTEN ON IT COMES INTO VIEW.
VIOLET -Memento mori - Remember you will die.
KLAUS - * repeats softly * - Remember you will die.
VIOLET - * trns to siblings * Lets promise b4 we die we'll solve the mystery that lead us to our misery.
THE WORDS ' MEMENTO MORI ' MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPEAR ON THE ARCHWAY AND THE WORDS ' SOME MYSTERIES JUST WONT DIE ' APPEAR ON THE ARCHWAY IN SHIMMERING SILVER PRINT.
ALL 3 BAUDELAIRES NOD IN SOLEMN AGREEMENT TO WHAT VIOLET SAID.
