Mickey's Ideas for the Unfortunate Event Film Trailers. THE MISERABLE MILL

(THE DREAMWORKS LOGO APPEARS. )

( THE SCREEN THEN GOES BLACK. THEN THE WORDS A BARRY SONNEFIELD FILM SHOW UP ON A PIECE OF WOOD IN CHEWED UP GUM. )

NARRARATOR - Lucky Smells Lumbermill is a very small buissness place -

( SHOW A FLASH OF THE PINCHER MACHINE.)

NARRARATOR - ... but to the Baudelaire orphans, its big trouble.

( HEDWIGS THEME SLOWLY BEGINS TO START.)

(WE SEE THE BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS WALK UP TO THE GATE OF LUCKY SMELLS LUMBERMILL THE WORDS " LUCKY SMELLS LUMBERMILL " IS WRITTEN IN CHEWED UP GUM.)

KLAUS - No, it can't be. Violet look.

VIOLET - ( impatiently ) I know. Its written in chewed up gum.

KLAUS -No, look.

( THE CAMERA SLOWLY GOES UP A NEARBY BUILDING WHICH IS THE EXACT SAME SHAPE AND COLOR AS COUNT OLAF'S TATTOO. )

ALL 3 BAUDELAIRES - * gasps *

NARRARATOR - Its more misfortune for the Baudelaire orphans .

( SHOW THE BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS COVERED IN SAWDUST.)

NARRARATOR - First off, they are forced to work in the lumbermill. Secondly, they have a nasty Foreman named Flacutono, and number three Count Olaf is very nearby.

( WE SEE FOREMAN FLACUTONO BANGING HIS POTS TOGETHER AND THEN THE POTS SUDDENLY DROP.)

( WE SEE KLAUS RUNNING QUICKLY TO PICK THE POTS UP. FOREMAN FLACUTONO STICKS OUT HIS FOOT. KLAUS FALLS TO THE FLOOR OF THE MILL.)

KLAUS - Hey, you tripped me!

F.FLACUTONO - I don't know what you're talking about. Oh dear, it looks like your glasses are broken. Why don't you go to the building in the shape of an eye and get a new pair ?

( WE SEE A MAN COME AND TAKE KLAUS BY THE ARM AND LEAD HIM OUT OF THE MILL.)

KLAUS - No, please help me !

NARRARATOR -It's more misery and despair for the Baudelaire orphans.

( SHOW A FLASH OF KLAUS OPENING THE GATE OF THE MILL, AND HE WALKS VERY SLOWLY SLOWLY ACROSS THE COURTYARD.)

SUNNY - Klaus!

VIOLET - Klaus ,your back !

( SEE VIOLET RUN UP TO HIM AND GIVE HIM A HUG. KLAUS GIVES HIS SISTERS A LOOK AS THOUGH HE JUST MET THEM. )

KLAUS - Where am I?

VIOLET - Klaus, you are at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill.

( KLAUS'S EYES GO VERY WIDE. )

KLAUS - Yes sir.

( THE 2 BAUDELAIRE ORPHANS EXCHANGE GLANCES. )

VIOLET - Something is very wrong.

( THE MUSIC QUICKENS. )

( WE SEE KLAUS WORKING THE PINCHER MACHINE. VIOLET READING A BIG BOOK. SUNNY IN THE SWORDFIGHT WITH DR. ORWELL. THEN SEE A BIG FLAT STONE COME DOWN ON A MAN'S LEG . EVERYONE TURNS T KLAUS WHO WAS CONTROLLING THE MACHINE.

SIR - I was informed one of you caused an accident today , accidents are caused by ba workers -

( SHOW THE DAMAGED PINCHER MACHINE. )

SIR - A nice young lady named Shirley is more than happy to take you in if you cause anymore accidents.

SUNNY - Shirley?

( SHOW A FLASH OF A WOMAN WHO REALLY LOOKS LIKE A MAN. )

( THE WORDS " STARRING JIM CARREY " APPEAR ON A PIECE OF A BROWN BOARD, IN CHEWED UP GUM.)

CUT TO SCENE IS SIR'S OFFICE.

VIOLET - SHES NOT SHIRLEY! Its Count Olaf!

MUSIC GETS EVEN FASTER. WE SEE KLAUS WALKING TOWARDS A LOG, PUSHING IT CLOSER TO THE SAW.

VIOLET - Klaus, no!

THE MUSIC STOPS WITH A BIG BLAST . THEN THE WORDS

THE MISERY CONTINUES SPRING 2005 APPEAR ON A PIECE OF BROWN BOARDS IN CHEWED UP GUM.

A PREVIEW OF THE AUSTERE ACADEMY

AN ARCHWAY THAT HAS ' MEMENTO MORI ' WRITTEN ON IT COMES INTO VIEW.

VIOLET -Memento mori - Remember you will die.

KLAUS - * repeats softly * - Remember you will die.

VIOLET - * trns to siblings * Lets promise b4 we die we'll solve the mystery that lead us to our misery.

THE WORDS ' MEMENTO MORI ' MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPEAR ON THE ARCHWAY AND THE WORDS ' SOME MYSTERIES JUST WONT DIE ' APPEAR ON THE ARCHWAY IN SHIMMERING SILVER PRINT.

ALL 3 BAUDELAIRES NOD IN SOLEMN AGREEMENT TO WHAT VIOLET SAID.