a/n: Warning: big bad swearing in here – little kiddies beware…

James flew around in a daze. Nothing made sense. Lily was out of his life, and Voldemort was in it. James knew that he had messed up. Now at least, he may not die, but he and Lily wouldn't have that kid who was supposed to kill Voldemort. James hadn't spoken to Lily or Freddie since the fight. It had now been a week, and he hadn't heard any news from Dumbledore either.

James whizzed round on his broom, feeling the cold air whip past him. He had only a muggle t-shirt on, so the cold icy wind was quite painful on his skin, but he didn't care. He probably deserved every bit of pain he got.

He had handled the Lily situation really badly. He knew he had loved her; when you love people you do stupid things, but he had still handled it all really badly. First of all, he had kissed Lily behind his friend's back – you don't just kiss your friends girlfriends. You just don't. Then he had dumped her practically in front of Freddie (they could've at least gone outside to have the argument, then none of it would have happened) and ended up having a fight. A black eye and a cut lip. He didn't even have to break up with her; that was stupid. So what if Voldemort was after them? They should have handled it together. They were meant to be together…

No, James told himself firmly. They would have had to have ended it eventually. They were going behind Freddie's back anyway, despite all the Voldemort crap. James didn't think he had hated anyone so much before. Voldemort… Who was he anyway? You don't just become a dark wizard. Not just like that.

James landed roughly on the ground, hurting his leg in the process. He walked over to the shed and put his broom away, walking back up to the castle. When he reached the doors he stopped, looking up at them. They were big doors. James turned away sighing, and sat down, leaning against the wall of the castle. He sighed again. He couldn't face anyone in there. Everyone knew about the fight; of course they knew about the fight. They'd had a whole week to gossip about it by now. Even though James hadn't talked to Dumbledore yet, he assumed that he knew about it. Oh well. James didn't think he cared anyway. All he wanted was Lily…

James stood up and cried aloud in anger. He kicked the side of the wall viciously. "You alright, mate?" James looked up. It was Sirius. James looked away and began to walk in the opposite direction, but Sirius caught up with him. "You know, you could probably break your foot doing that," Sirius pointed out.

"I don't care," muttered James.

"Well yeah, but to do that, if you really wanted to, all you have to do is position your foot correctly, turn it round a bit, and push it really hard smack into the wall and…"

"Yeah, thanks Sirius, but I don't really need tips on how to break my foot."

Sirius laughed. "If you say so, I was only trying to help."

"Oh shut up Sirius," James said, suddenly getting really angry. "All you do is joke about things. You always have a bullshit answer to everything, don't you? Well fuck you, Sirius." James continued to walk, expecting Sirius to walk off, but instead his best friend hesitated a moment, then slowly moved to catch up with him.

"Ok," he said.

James raised an eyebrow. "I don't get you. I tell you to fuck off, and all you say is 'ok'?"

"Well," Sirius started to explain, "if you really want, I'll fuck off away from you. I'll never talk to you again. The marauders will divide, Peter and me will become best friends, you and Remus will become best friends, and you'll never have to see my stupid face and listen to my 'bullshit' answers ever again." James looked to the ground and frowned. "But since I do have a bullshit answer for everything, I'm not going to fuck off, because I know you won't want me to if you really think about it. I've been your best friend for year and years; even before Hogwarts. I've been here for every one of your bullshits, and I haven't told you to fuck off. And if you really think about it, you'll come to realise that Remus and Peter are great, they're really good friends, but in the long run, I'm all you have."

James sighed. "Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated, Padfoot? All I want is to be like other wizards. Other kids even. I just want Lily."

"Hey, Prongs mate, we aren't kids anymore," Sirius pointed out, grinning. "We're seventeen years old now. Very nearly eighteen in actually fact. Our hormones are going crazy right now, we have to shave if we don't wanna look stupid, and big bad wizards are hunting our asses."

Despite everything, James laughed. "Don't you mean my ass, Padfoot? I'm the one Voldemort wants to kill."

"Hey, if people wanna mess with my unicorn, they gonna have to go through me first!" James and Sirius laughed together, and James suddenly felt really bad about what he'd said. He'd just been stressed out.

"Look, Padfoot, about earlier…"

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said, shrugging it off. He stopped and nodded his head towards the castle. "Wanna go back before we accidentally stroll into the horrors of the forbidden forest?"

James raised an eyebrow then turned round. He gasped. There were just inside the first few trees of the forest. "Wow," said James. Then he walked slowly back out of the forest where he had nearly been killed several times already, and walked back up to the castle with Sirius, all present problems momentarily forgotten.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

James and Sirius walked into the common room laughing about something in particular, when the bumped quite accidentally into someone. Sirius looked up. "Oh, sorry, Lily," he apologised.

James looked up as well. Lily. The girl he had never before been able to get out of his mind. The girl who had made him crap at Quidditch because all he could ever think about was her. The girl who had practically given herself to him even though she had a boyfriend. The girl who he had dumped…

"Yeah, sorry," James said without looking at her, then walked on past.

Lily looked at him angrily. "No you're not," she called after him.

James stopped and turned around. "What's that?"

"You're not really sorry."

"Yes I am. I am sorry for bumping into you," James said softly. "I didn't mean for it to happen."

"You're not sorry; if you were sorry you would have never bumped into me in the first place."

James and Lily glared at each other and Sirius just stood somewhere between them, feeling confused. "Uh…are we all talking about the same thing here?"

James turned away at the same time as Lily did, each walking in completely opposite directions.

Sirius sighed and walked over to talk to Remus. He sat down as he and Peter were playing each other at chess. "Guys, we have a serious problem here," he said quietly, staring at the chess board.

"Mm-hmm…" said Remus, frowning. He slowly moved his hand and touched his queen, then pulled it back again sharply. "Mm-hmm…" he said again.

Sirius looked up angrily. "Moony, are you even listening to me?"

"Mm-hmm…"

Peter lay back smiling quite happily. "He's afraid that I'm going to beat him. Which I am."

Remus grinned suddenly and moved his knight. Peter's face went pale and he cried out in anger. "Will I ever beat you?" he said exasperatedly.

"Probably not," Remus stated. He turned to Sirius. "What were you saying Padfoot?"

"We – have – a – serious – problem," Sirius said again, deliberately slow.

"Well, what is it?"

"James."

Remus sighed and leaned back in his chair. "How did I guess?"

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. We have to get them back together somehow. It's the only way."

"Why?" Remus and Sirius turned to Peter in confusion, who was avoiding their eyes and instead pretending to be concentrating on the board.

"What do you mean, why?" Remus asked, frowning.

Peter hesitated. "Well, I mean, why is it so important that they're together? I know I know, the prophecy thing, but it doesn't necessarily mean Lily does it? It would just be putting her in danger."

"He does kind of have a point, Padfoot," said Moony.

"Will you two listen to yourselves?" Sirius said angrily. "It's not about their safety. Don't get me wrong, I love Lily and James, but if they're supposed to have a son that's going to defeat some wizard mass-murderer in the future, isn't that more important?"

Peter frowned, this time looking to Sirius. "You'd be willing to risk their lives for something that only just might happen?"

Sirius leaned back in anger and didn't answer. Inside, Peter smiled to himself happily. On the outside, he was just Wormtail.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 a/n: and we're back ladies and jellyspoons! I apologise for the incredibly late and slow and crappy chapter, but hey, at least I wrote it. I nearly gave up on this story completely, as my muse is being particularly horrible to me at the moment!

Review and maybe it'll be nice to me. I will try my hardest to get the next chapter up soon, but as I said, I'm concentrating more on my other story at the moment. Thanks for sticking with me.

~rowan

xxxxxxx