Title: I Saved Yo Evil Ass part 11

Authors: Lilyana_Vamp & Sunscorched

Email: Lilyana_vamp@yahoo.com Aurora_plym_uk@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-15

Summary: Some vampires are just ungrateful

Content: C/Aus

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: We own nothing

Distribution: Just ask

Part 11, Home Sweet Home

Cordelia opened her eyes and groaned again as the pain meds began to wear off. She reached for that wonderful little button that pumped her body full of morphine, but it was gone. "What the hell?"

"Princess is wide-awake, like the owls at night. Daddy shall be ever so pleased"

Cordelia's eyes opened wide at the sound of the voice and she screamed. She tried to get out of the bed but ended up causing her shoulder to burn with pain. "Ow...ow ow ow!"

Drusilla rushed to her side and held her down, "You mustn't scream Princess, Daddy won't like it and he shall be very cross at me"

"Get your hands off me," Cordelia screamed and tried to pry the vampire's hands off of her. "Where is he? I'm so gonna kick his ass!

"Oooh, Princess says such naughty words" Drusilla giggled, "That's not right for a lady"

"Do I really look like I give a shit?" she told Drusilla angrily. "Where is he?"

"I like Princess; she has such pretty eyes and says naughty words. Shit, see I can say them too" Drusilla told her as she blinked owlishly at her.

Cordelia screamed in frustration. "Angelus!! Get this crazy, psycho thing away from me!! Angelus!!"

Angelus and Spike ran in, both looking around for the danger Cordelia was screaming about. "What?" Angelus panted as he frantically looked round for whatever had the balls to be in his place.

"Her!" She pointed at Drusilla.

"What's wrong with 'er?" Spike demanded with a frown.

"Nothing's wrong with me except I'm not in my nice hospital bed with my nice button to make the pain go away!"

Angelus felt another headache coming on, "Spike, Dru go downstairs while I talk to Cordelia" he ordered.

"Ever heard the word please, you ponce?" Spike growled in annoyance at being ordered around again.

"Go!" Cordelia yelled in a tone none of them had heard before.

Spike stepped back, "She possessed?" he asked as he blinked.

"Possibly" Angelus replied with a shrug, "It would explain a lot"

"Oh shut up! You're in enough trouble as it is," she growled.

"Oooh, has he been a bad Daddy?" Drusilla asked as she looked at Cordelia with an adoring gaze. "I can 'elp you punish 'im"

"Agh!! Angelus, get them out of here now!"

"Alright, alright" Spike spoke up, "What is with you and crazy brunettes Peaches?" he asked as he walked out the room shaking his head.

"Better than his blonde obsession," she muttered and then glared at Angelus. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"You want me to go, don't you?" Angelus asked as he turned from the door to her.

"No, I want you to explain why the hell I'm here with Looney Tunes and The Bleached Bandit!"

Angelus looked at Cordelia as if she was stupid, "You live here now" he told her like she should already know that.

"No, I live at my house. Why aren't I still in the hospital?"

"I brought you here so I could take care of you, what does it look like? I didn't like you there; men kept on coming in and demanding to see you naked. What else was I supposed to do?"

"They were trying to make me better! That's their job!"

"They were giving you stuff to make you better. Where does it say in the medical rule book you have to see a girl naked when the wound is on her shoulder?"

"I don't want to live here," she told him angrily. "I want to go home, in my own bed."

"This is your bed now, well our bed" Angelus replied just as angrily. "So you better get used to it"

Cordelia stared, he was insane. Angelus was officially insane, off the wall, a complete lunatic, a few screws loose. "I've figured it out. You're insane, absolutely completely, die-hard insane"

"Eh, I've been told" Angelus shrugged as he sat on their bed. "I got you painkillers and some decent food, not like that crap you kept at your old place"

Cordelia looked at him sceptically. "And what would you consider decent food? I'm not drinking blood, I'll have you know."

"Did I say that?"

"Well, if you don't think that the best food that money can buy is decent, what do you think is, besides blood of course, because that's your food of choice," she shot back.

Angelus smirked smugly, she didn't know he could cook he'd show her. "I'll show you good food and nice wine if that's what will make you happy"

"I tell you what, you wine and dine me and I'll tell you what makes me happy. Deal?"

Angelus raised his own eyebrow to match hers, "Deal"

"Oh, there's a stipulation," she added casually.

"Huh?" he asked with a blank look as he didn't quite follow her.

"There's a catch dumbass," she clarified herself.

"I'm not a dumbass, just you talk so fast it's hard to keep up" Angelus defended himself with a frown.

"Yeah, okay, whatever," she rolled her eyes. "Do you wanna know the catch or call the whole thing off or what?"

Angelus looked at her warily, "Go on" he encouraged in a low voice.

"I need to go shopping, and I want Sid and Nancy out of here for the evening. I can only deal with one crazy vamp at a time."

"Ok, but you don't need to go shopping, I can get somebody to go for you"

"No, I shop for myself," she told him firmly. "I don't want to end up looking like a fugitive from the fashion police."

"But you're still not well enough; you need to rest some more. I'll go with you later tonight" Angelus told her firmly.

"No, you can't go." She didn't want to have to explain herself to him. "Trust me, okay?"

"Why? Last time you said that you almost got both of us killed" Angelus replied a little harshly.

Cordelia winced and then held her head high. "Fine, send one of your goons with me. Will that satisfy you? If you want this deal to happen, you can't go. That's final." She stood up to prove a point and tried to ignore the pain in her shoulder. She managed to stand straight and steady to her own surprise.

"Dru can go with you, she likes shopping, the sales girls actually," Angelus offered as he watched her stretch her body carefully. "Come here"

She shuddered at his implied comment and walked over to him. "See, good as new. Well, almost," she winced when she tried to raise her arm.

Angelus eased his hands up, taking the hospital gown up with his movements but Cordelia stopped him before he got to far. "What did you do that for? It was going to get good"

"I already told you, it'll be on my terms." She stepped out of his reach and looked around the room. "Tell me I have something to wear besides this thing."

Angelus shifted his eyes for a second, giving his answer. "Dru has some clothes you can borrow"

"Ok, off the ew-ness meter! There's no way I'm gonna wear her fashion victim of the undead disasters! You'd better tell me she's got some decent clothes hiding somewhere. I'd even opt for something she stole off someone you killed over one of her outfits!" She couldn't even believe she had just said that. She must have completely lost her mind.

Angelus couldn't help the amused grin off his face, "If the thought of wearing another female's clothes has you so flexing your claws, you can wear something of mine. I have some sweats or something. Actually, I like the idea of you wearing my stuff, makes me feel like I totally possess you"

"Are you calling yourself another female?" she asked with a grin as amused as his.

"Do I detect some girl-on-girl fantasies Cordelia?" Angelus purred as he leaned back on his elbows to get a better look at her.

"Ugh, and I thought that was just a teenage boy's obsession. I guess it doesn't discriminate." She walked carefully across the room, looking for anything to wear.

"Closet, bottom shelf and don't disturb the order in there" Angelus told her seriously as he watched to make sure she didn't.

"Anal much?" she shot over her shoulder as she grabbed a pair of sweats and a shirt. "Jeez, I'm surprised your sweats aren't made of leather."

"Surprised or disappointed?"

"Neither," she answered and looked at him, expecting him to leave while she changed.

"What?" Angelus asked when Cordelia looked at him expectantly. "I can definitely say I have seen your all before Cordelia, and I've already told you. You have nothing to be shy about"

"Fine." She turned her back from him and struggled with the hospital gown, trying to undo the snaps with her one good hand.

Angelus was instantly behind her, "Let me help you with that" he whispered in her ear, making her shiver. He smoothed his hands up her back and lifted the material; this time she didn't stop him. He untied the bow at the top and the few snaps at the back, then stepped away from her.

"Thanks," she whispered and pulled on the sweats with difficulty. She fought with the shirt, finally crumpling it into a ball, throwing it back in the closet and reaching for a button-up one.

Angelus watched, and enjoyed, as Cordelia got more and more frustrated with one of his shirts. "You doing ok there?" he asked casually, not making any attempt to help her.

"I'm fine," she answered coldly, finally managing to get a couple of the buttons fastened. "Tell me you have a mirror kicking around here somewhere."

"Uh, no?"

She turned and looked at him expectantly again. "Find me a mirror"

"What did I tell you about ordering me around?"

"What did I tell you about the stipulation to this deal? I'm not going out looking like a bag lady."

"Hello" Angelus said to her, "House of Vamps here, no reflection hence no mirrors"

"Do I look like I care? Seriously, do you see care on my face. I want a mirror, now!"

"Did you not just here me say no mirrors? Because if you didn't, I'll repeat it. NO MIRRORS!" Angelus barked back.

"FINE!! Then the deal is off!" she screamed just as loud and stormed out of the room as best she could. Angelus heard her scream.

Angelus vamped out and took off after her, "What the hell?" he growled as he came to a sudden halt.

She stood in front of him with a silver platter in her hand. "I can't go out like this! Do you know what this would do to my reputation?! Look at my hair! I mean look at it!! And my face!! I need make-up! And I need...look at my hair!!!! I'm all gross looking!!!" she screamed in horror.

"Will you stop screaming?" Angelus yelled at her, "I have sensitive ears, for God's sake, shut up"

"If any of them saw me like this, I'd never live it down!"

"If you don't stop screaming, I'll take you outside, I don't give damn if it's daylight, and dump you in the middle of school" Angelus threatened as he blocked his ears to the awful sound of her shrill screams.

"You wouldn't." She looked at him in horror.

"Wanna bet on that? I don't have a soul Kitten, I would gladly suffer a sun tan just for the sheer satisfaction of watching your face"

"I hate you," she answered only half truthfully, and stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

"Even better" Angelus grinned evilly, "Spike" he bellowed, "Bring the camera, I wanna get this on film"

"No!!" she yelled at him and grabbed his arm. "No! If you have any mercy in you at all, don't!" She pouted a little more and trailed her finger along his arm.

"Are you going to stop that horrid noise?"

"Are you gonna help me look pretty again?" she asked, motioning toward her wounded shoulder.

Angelus took in her pouting, lower lip and her finger trailing up and down his arm. Angelus smirked, "I might, what's it worth?"

"I told you, I'll tell you what makes me happy," she told him with a quirked eyebrow.

Angelus raised both his eyebrows, "Why don't you tell me now?"

"Because, that's not part of the deal. First, you wine and dine me. Actually, first you help me look good again, I go shopping, THEN you wine and dine me. Then I tell you."

Angelus pursed his lips in thought before nodding, "Alright, I know Dru has some nice clothes. Don't go flexing your claws little Kitten, she likes you and won't harm you. Neither will Spike, he'll torment you but won't hurt you. If you want to look nice, then trust me"

"Said the snake." She stuck out her tongue and smiled at him.

Angelus felt the weird desire to smile back at her, "Come on, let's go raid her closet"

***********

When Cordelia felt she was suitable for public she turned to Angelus with a serious look. "What colour?"

"Red" he replied easily as he looked at her with an appreciative eye. "You need something to match your insanity," he added quickly.

"Have I mentioned that I hate you?" she asked casually and walked toward the door.

"Yes, but say it again it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside"

"Okay, I hate you." She couldn't help but smile as she left with her insane escort.