a/n: thank you to all my reviewers – you've been reviewing since the dawn of time and thank you :D

tom girl – thank you so much for adding me to your favourites you don't know how much that means to me!! I haven't even started the next chapter yet I don't think but I'll try and get it up soon I promise.

josalyn – your meaness is excused and I hope you're enjoying the story.

MegHarts – ah, how will they get through this? HOW, you ask? You wanna know? Keep reading!! The next chapter will be painful for Lily and James, I promise you!

BeCKy – becky, my most loyal reviewer who starts almost every review with "aw" or "oh"!! :D HOW ARE YOU? GOOD? GOOD. Glad you love my story. I do try. Your email doesn't work? Shame. Well I'll try and update as often as I can then. :D

******* - I get the feeling you want me to update!! Lol. Don't worry, I will not leave you all hanging, I promise I will get this story finished, bear with me.

Golden Rose – as soon as I finish a chapter I'll upload it. Thanks for reviewing!

Princess pixie ice – lol, glad you liked my meat and bread thing. And don't worry if you weren't feeling too inspired, I'm not feeling all that inspired at the moment myself!

Starborn – yay, my other loyal reviewer. :D you and BeCKy have reviewed loads of my chapters, thank you so much. It's so great to get reviews, knowing people are reading and are enjoying my work. Thanks! I love the word indeed – don't you?! And normal dancing is NEVER enough when it comes to James Potter!!!!!!

Ohepelss Oramtnci – yep, I liked the pole dancing part too! I love your name by the way, whatever it means!

Clearbrook – bittersweet…I like that word! I think it's perfect word to describe my story, don't you?

Sun Chime – wow, fantastic? I wouldn't call my story fantastic, but thanks!!

Rose Black – yay, one of the longest reviews I've ever had! Thank you!!!! Lots of things you said were very interesting :P I totally agree with you on James. He's a doofus, trying to be all hero-like and saving Lily when really he's just hurting her more, wouldn't you say? Silly boy. 'And they should just kill Peter'. Lol, yeah but they don't know he's up to anything do they? But yes, it would seem the logical thing to do from our point of view!

Now, this chapter IS NOT a staller, let's get that straight. I thought it would be important to have this memory put in, and I thought instead of putting it with other things in a chapter, it would have a chapter all by itself (isn't it lucky!) with all the thank yous and stuff. So do not hate me, enjoy the memory, feel your presence in the sad time and review at the end!! I changed the rating because I thought this chapter may be unsuitable in its violence and stuff. Oh, and I tried hard to think of timing, and spent about five minutes drawing up a time-line on the computer of birthdays and dates on my computer…and then I thought "scrap that, I'm sure no one will care if this is supposed to be set in the 70s or whatever and it doesn't seem like that!" I did try not to have anything modern in it, though. REVIEW!!! : )  ~rowanx

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James walked across the room and sat on the pale blue quilt. He fingered the soft material and gazed at the tantalising pattern of navy blue seahorses and fish of soft purple. He looked up as Sirius came into the room, a grin plastered on his cheeky face, as was usual. James felt uneasy. He looked at the wand in Sirius' hand and looked up at him. Not wanting his best friend to think he'd gone soft, he laughed casually and said, "Don't you think you're being a bit mean? Mona loves that Barbie."

     Sirius grinned. "Yeah, and she'll love it more in black!" He walked over to her bed and knelt down. Pushing the box full of memories forgotten and old childhood toys of his own, he reached right under her bed through the shadows right to the back; he lifted up what he knew was a lose floorboard and shoved it aside. Reaching his hand in, he pulled out a bow, and drew it out from under the bed for James to see. James leaned forward, curious above all negative thoughts to see what was inside Mona's box. He knew what they were doing was wrong, but he had heard from Sirius and indeed Mona herself about how no one was ever to go into her bedroom because she didn't want anyone going through her things, and ever since Sirius had found the hiding place of her secret box from overhearing a conversation between her and her best friend Clara, James had to admit, he had been curious to see what was in there.

     Decorated on the lid of the box were drawings of pink and blue and yellow flowers and scrawled on one edge in neat, purple handwriting read: "Mona's Box of Secrets". Sirius carefully lifted up the lid and placed it carefully onto the floor. The first thing they saw was a picture of Mona and Clara at Mona's birthday party. They were wearing silly sunflower hats and Clara had chocolate dribbled down her chin. Shifting that aside, amongst various writing pads and other things, Sirius reached for the lumpy figure at the bottom of the small shoebox. He lifted it out, and James felt the queasy feeling down at the pit of his stomach again. "Sirius, I don't think we should do this."

     "Oh, I'm only getting her back for nicking my orange the other day." Sirius pulled a childish pout.

     "Didn't your mum say you had to give it to her because you'd had the last orange last time and it was Mona's turn?" Sirius pointed out.

     Sirius stuck his tongue out at James and held the Barbie doll in front of him. It was very precious to Mona, who apparently had had it since she was three years old. She was now eight. And Sirius, being her older brother by two years, should really have been the less childish of the two. James shook his head and grinned. Sometimes he thought that the Blacks' had got their children confused the wrong way round, and it was actually Mona who was the mature ten year old.

     Holding the wand in his hand, Sirius had it pointing towards the doll and was in a state of remembrance; it appeared he had forgotten the spell he had found in a book in his parents "secret" bookshelves. Suddenly, his face filled bright and he turned to James eagerly, obviously about to tell him something interesting he had just remembered, but he had barely got James' name out when they heard a loud, shrill scream.

     James and Sirius whipped their heads round to the door. "That sounded like Mona," said Sirius, dropping her doll to the floor and getting to his feet.

     "I thought you said she was at Clara's house," James said, getting up and rushing out of Mona's room in Sirius' footsteps. Running along the corridor he stopped at the picture of the Blacks. Staring wide-eyed in horror, he saw Mrs Black collapsed against Mr Black, who seemed shocked. Mrs Black was obviously dead. Mona was leaning against the side of the frame with her hands over her mouth and Sirius was kicking wildly at his father who didn't seem to notice. James fled from the corridor through the kitchen to the living room, where it seemed Sirius had only just reached. Sirius: oblivious to anything except for his crying sister who sat in a small heap against the door. "Mona…" he said. Looking up, he could see why she was crying.

     Lying on the floor slumped against a chair lay Mrs Black, pale, lifeless, with a gash on her arms and across her neck. Over her stood Mr Black, holding a muggle kitchen knife, in apparent shock. He was as pale as she was; his pupils wide open, his hand shaking as it was still raised high in the air violently. Sirius simply gasped and James stared at Mr Black in confused disbelief. At that moment three things happened at the same time: Mona fainted and James supported her in his arms; Sirius lunged forward in rage at his father; and Mr Black raised the knife to his throat and slit it.

     The cries that followed from Mona's screaming voice and from Sirius' horrified expression were too much for James to bear. He ran to the hall and found the telephone. Thankfully, he had been living amongst and going to school with muggles for a long time now, and knew exactly what to do. He lifted the handset to his ear and dialled 999 on the board. Someone answered calmly, and he screamed down the phone for an ambulance. He knew there was no point, he knew that the Blacks, whom he had loved dearly for so long, were dead. But he didn't know what else to do. A man came on the line and asked what was wrong and James told him in a quieter voice, shaking with fear and shock. He struggled to remember the address, but finally got it out, and the man said they would be there as soon as they could. Dropping the handset from his hands and letting the cord swing it to and fro lose in the air he walked slowly back into the living room. Sirius was still standing exactly where he was when James had gone to call for help, and Mona was just recovering from her faint. She looked around, unsure of what was happening. James rushed forward trying to block the horrendous site from the view of an innocent eight-year-old, but she saw it, and the screams that rung out endlessly from her despair haunted James' nightmares for days, for weeks, for years to come.