CHAPTER 8
@~!*!~@
AN- I'M BACK! And guess what??? IT'S SUMMER VACATION! Whoot! *dances* I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Teehee! So I am hopefully going to update more often. All though I am taking part in a thingy called NaNoWriSea (National Write a Novel in a Season) which is the Sheroes version of National Write a Novel in a Month thingy. So I dunno how often I am going to be doing my fanfics. If you want to read that I have it up on Fiction Press.com and here's the linky: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1303226\
It's called, 'Life Styles of the Not So Rich or the Famous.' It's something I am really very proud of. Check it out and I will love you forever and ever!!!!
Oh, and as a warning: THIS CHAPTER IS SOMEWHAT ANGSTY! IT IS NOT A HAPPY CHAPTER! I just thought I should warn you.
So onto the thank you's................. (By the way: 59 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO SO SO MUCH!)
Katie- lol. Miles a burden, Huh? lol. Thanks a ton for reviewing! I'm glad ya like it!
Isadora- Ah, that might explain why I couldn't find anything under that name! I'll check that out when I have some spare time. I love reading people's stories! Glad someone else thinks Miles is a cool character!!!
Me- Short and sweet review. I am updating... Now actually!
Cassandra- No making FRUM of your spelling mistakes, Huh? lol. I just love teasing you! If it helps at all I am a completely hopeless speller as well, and spell check is my bestest friend!!!
Silver Fawkes- I totally agree that questioning shows caring. And remember that Winnie was only ten years old! I wasn't even thinking about guys at that age, they still had cooties! So I dunno if she's really ready to fall head over heels yet. Hmmm... Thanks!
~SW- Let me guess, you want a Jesse/Winnie relationship? lol. Thanks for reviewing!!!
Critara's pride (2 la-Z 2 sign N)- *whimpers* I think I may have just gotten a death threat! Oooh! How great is that!!!! lol. Thanks for reviewing and as for who she ends up with... We'll have to see what happens. I actually don't have all that much control over my characters, they control me!
Dodger- What was that? You want A? Or did you want B or C? Hmm... lol. Thanks for reviewing!!!!!
Star C. Waters- Ah, you lazy girl! Review me! It keeps my little ego nice and happy. lol, thanks for reviewing and reading!!!
Rowana166- Hey, a reviewer that doesn't care that much! lol. Thanks for reviewing me!!!
DramaQueen77- Hmm... Interesting idea. I'll think about that. Thanks for the input and reviewing!
Katherine- Weird can be good though, too! But thanks a ton for reviewing my ficcers!
Angel47- THANKS! And we have yet another Jesse vote! lol... He seems somewhat popular...
Minnie Mouse- Well, I KNOW! lol. I have it all figured out... *superior grin* THANKS FOR REVIEWING!
Xirleb70- Ah! A Miles vote! Whoot... I like the thought of Miles having love again. If I decide not to do a Winnie/miles ship in this story I may have to write another one!
BuffyAngel4ever- You gave me a GREAT idea! What about an email list? Like I email everyone that likes this fic when I update... Hmm... Thanks for giving me the thought! lol. Cliff hangers are lovely things, are they not? Teehee, my reviewers hate me but it brings me pleasure! THANKS!
EVERYONE- OMG! I have like... A LOT of reviews! lol. I am like in shock! I never thought people would like my stuff. Teehee. Anywho, BuffyAngel4ever gave me a great idea: What about starting an email list? Like when I update, I send out an email to everyone and let them know? If ya like this idea leave your email addie here! Oh, and the vote for who Winnie should be with stands thus:
A (aka- Jesse) has 10 votes
B (aka Taylor) has 2 votes, poor man!
C (aka Miles) has 4 votes
OMG! GUESS WHAT I READ?!?!?! I Winnie and TUCK FIC! As in old Tuck person. It was on a different site but it just made me shiver. And I felt bad for Mae! So no worries there, I promise NEVER to make that relationship!!!
(Oh and just so you guys know, I have not made any decisions on who Winnie will end up with SO KEEP VOTING!!!!)
@~!*!~@
~MILES POV~
(AN/ I hope you like this, I wanted to try something other then a diary write from Winnie journal.)
I watched Winnie and Jesse hug. I saw the way her eyes lit up. And I-I cracked. I saw the way he looked at her, and she looked at him. And I remembered how my dear wife used to look at me. With such i just to see me.
I walked from the room, trying to be perfectly normal. But when I got to my rooms... I cracked. As I said before.
It just was not fair. I know some people say that, that life is not fair, I mean.
But they have no idea.
I couldn't breath in that room. I couldn't think. I felt like I was in a cage. And I would not get out. Ever. Not until the day I die. Which will never come.
So I hurt myself.
I took out a knife and cut deep into my wrists. I felt the pain and saw the blood run down onto the bed. I cut deep enough that a normal person would have died.
But me? I passed out for a few hours, but that was it. I woke up and looked at the healed scars on my wrist. And I cried.
I don't know how long I would have cried if someone had not found me.
The person was Winnie.
There was a knock on the door and I opened it to find Winnie looking up at me.
" May I come in?" She asked. I nodded mutely. And opened the door so she could come in.
She came in and looked up at me. She dug in her pocket for a moment and brought out a somewhat rumpled handkerchief. She handed it to me and I nodded my thanks before wiping my face.
I led her into my room without thinking and when I saw her eyes widen I realized why instantly: The blood. From my wrist. I didn't know what to say. I croaked and few times but nothing came out.
" Oh Miles." She said and looked at me. " You loved her so much, didn't you?" She said it with sadness but not pity. She reached out and carefully turned my hand over to look at my wrist. She ran her fingers lightly over the scars. She looked back up at me and said softly,
" Would you like to go down to the main part on the Inn? Get away from um... Just get away?" I nodded, mute again. I was at a loss for words.
When we got down to the main part it was mostly empty. I found my voice and asked in a voice husky and hoarse from crying so much,
" Where's Jesse? And Tuck and Mae?" She gestured for me to sit and I did.
" They went to see if they could find someone to shoe the horse. I told them to go without me. I said I wanted to talk to you."
I blinked and said quietly without looking at her,
" Why-Why did you want to talk to me?" Winnie didn't answer at first and I looked up at her. I saw her thinking before answering, as if she were chewing her words before saying them.
And I saw that she had grown up while we had been gone all those long, long years.
" Miles. I saw the look in your eyes. When I saw Jesse again. And I felt... Sad. Not sorry-" She said hastily as she saw me about to object. " Just sad. Not for you, but for all of us. And I want you to know that no matter what happens. I will always, always be your friend."
I felt tears prick at my eyes and I blinked them back. I looked at my wrist and at the scars. The scars that for any other person would be deadly, but for me... Nothing.
As I stared at my wrist I saw Winnie's hand come into view. She out her hand on top of my own; covering my wrist.
We talked for a long time after that. But about happy things. We didn't talk about the past. We talked about what was going to happen next. Where we would go. We as in the whole Tuck family. Together.
And I felt happy again.
@~!*!~@
~ WINNIE'S DIARY AGAIN~
February 26th,
I don't know what to say. I always thought that once I met up with the Tucks again everything would be... I don't know. Easy, I suppose. But it's not.
I can't help wondering all over again if there is some way to change this. Our immortality, I mean.
Then I think: If I could go back to being mortal, would I want to?
I have my family of sorts with me now. And I am happy for the most part. But... I don't want to live forever.
What will forever be like? To wake up every single say until the world ends... And maybe even then, we'll still exist.
I am thankful that I have other people to share the burden with me. But I understand now what Tuck meant when he begged me not to drink the water. I remember his words like it was yesterday:
" What we have, you can't really call living. We're just stuck. like rocks on the side of a river."
And he was right... Oh, so right... And I wish I could have seen that, all those years ago when I drank the water.
And I thought of another thing, late in the night. I don't have that feeling of risk. I could go jump off a tower with a small pool of water at the bottom, and not be scared at all. But if there is no risk, where is the rush? The feeling of possibly giving it all away?
Jesse is here though. But... I feel like I don't know him yet. I mean, it was many many years ago and I threw my life away for him. And yet I have no idea who he really is.
But I suppose that I have an eternity to learn, don't I? I am truely happy to see the Tucks again but at the same time it brings back memories I wish I could erase from memory.
And Miles... I feel guilty when I see him. I chose to be with Jesse and his wife, chose death over him. And then... I can't help wondering which shows more love?
The willingness to let someone go, or to throw everything that ever mattered to be with one person.
Please, my unknown and unexistent reader, please help me do what is right. I have all the time in the world but I still think I may never find the answer.
@~!*!~@
AN/ Ooh! Poor Miles! Was that ok? Was it bad? I felt that I needed to try and capture the idea of how bad immortality would be. But it made me somewhat depressed! You know what might make me feel better? LOT'S OF REVIEWS! lol. Bribery! But pleeeeeeeeeease review and I will love you forever and I'll give you a cookie!
Ooh and don't forget to leave your email addie if ya wanna be on the mailing list.
Ooh and if you have not voted yet I command you to do so asap!!!!!
~Hannah who will be updating more often since it's SUUUUUUUMMER!
@~!*!~@
AN- I'M BACK! And guess what??? IT'S SUMMER VACATION! Whoot! *dances* I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Teehee! So I am hopefully going to update more often. All though I am taking part in a thingy called NaNoWriSea (National Write a Novel in a Season) which is the Sheroes version of National Write a Novel in a Month thingy. So I dunno how often I am going to be doing my fanfics. If you want to read that I have it up on Fiction Press.com and here's the linky: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1303226\
It's called, 'Life Styles of the Not So Rich or the Famous.' It's something I am really very proud of. Check it out and I will love you forever and ever!!!!
Oh, and as a warning: THIS CHAPTER IS SOMEWHAT ANGSTY! IT IS NOT A HAPPY CHAPTER! I just thought I should warn you.
So onto the thank you's................. (By the way: 59 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO SO SO MUCH!)
Katie- lol. Miles a burden, Huh? lol. Thanks a ton for reviewing! I'm glad ya like it!
Isadora- Ah, that might explain why I couldn't find anything under that name! I'll check that out when I have some spare time. I love reading people's stories! Glad someone else thinks Miles is a cool character!!!
Me- Short and sweet review. I am updating... Now actually!
Cassandra- No making FRUM of your spelling mistakes, Huh? lol. I just love teasing you! If it helps at all I am a completely hopeless speller as well, and spell check is my bestest friend!!!
Silver Fawkes- I totally agree that questioning shows caring. And remember that Winnie was only ten years old! I wasn't even thinking about guys at that age, they still had cooties! So I dunno if she's really ready to fall head over heels yet. Hmmm... Thanks!
~SW- Let me guess, you want a Jesse/Winnie relationship? lol. Thanks for reviewing!!!
Critara's pride (2 la-Z 2 sign N)- *whimpers* I think I may have just gotten a death threat! Oooh! How great is that!!!! lol. Thanks for reviewing and as for who she ends up with... We'll have to see what happens. I actually don't have all that much control over my characters, they control me!
Dodger- What was that? You want A? Or did you want B or C? Hmm... lol. Thanks for reviewing!!!!!
Star C. Waters- Ah, you lazy girl! Review me! It keeps my little ego nice and happy. lol, thanks for reviewing and reading!!!
Rowana166- Hey, a reviewer that doesn't care that much! lol. Thanks for reviewing me!!!
DramaQueen77- Hmm... Interesting idea. I'll think about that. Thanks for the input and reviewing!
Katherine- Weird can be good though, too! But thanks a ton for reviewing my ficcers!
Angel47- THANKS! And we have yet another Jesse vote! lol... He seems somewhat popular...
Minnie Mouse- Well, I KNOW! lol. I have it all figured out... *superior grin* THANKS FOR REVIEWING!
Xirleb70- Ah! A Miles vote! Whoot... I like the thought of Miles having love again. If I decide not to do a Winnie/miles ship in this story I may have to write another one!
BuffyAngel4ever- You gave me a GREAT idea! What about an email list? Like I email everyone that likes this fic when I update... Hmm... Thanks for giving me the thought! lol. Cliff hangers are lovely things, are they not? Teehee, my reviewers hate me but it brings me pleasure! THANKS!
EVERYONE- OMG! I have like... A LOT of reviews! lol. I am like in shock! I never thought people would like my stuff. Teehee. Anywho, BuffyAngel4ever gave me a great idea: What about starting an email list? Like when I update, I send out an email to everyone and let them know? If ya like this idea leave your email addie here! Oh, and the vote for who Winnie should be with stands thus:
A (aka- Jesse) has 10 votes
B (aka Taylor) has 2 votes, poor man!
C (aka Miles) has 4 votes
OMG! GUESS WHAT I READ?!?!?! I Winnie and TUCK FIC! As in old Tuck person. It was on a different site but it just made me shiver. And I felt bad for Mae! So no worries there, I promise NEVER to make that relationship!!!
(Oh and just so you guys know, I have not made any decisions on who Winnie will end up with SO KEEP VOTING!!!!)
@~!*!~@
~MILES POV~
(AN/ I hope you like this, I wanted to try something other then a diary write from Winnie journal.)
I watched Winnie and Jesse hug. I saw the way her eyes lit up. And I-I cracked. I saw the way he looked at her, and she looked at him. And I remembered how my dear wife used to look at me. With such i just to see me.
I walked from the room, trying to be perfectly normal. But when I got to my rooms... I cracked. As I said before.
It just was not fair. I know some people say that, that life is not fair, I mean.
But they have no idea.
I couldn't breath in that room. I couldn't think. I felt like I was in a cage. And I would not get out. Ever. Not until the day I die. Which will never come.
So I hurt myself.
I took out a knife and cut deep into my wrists. I felt the pain and saw the blood run down onto the bed. I cut deep enough that a normal person would have died.
But me? I passed out for a few hours, but that was it. I woke up and looked at the healed scars on my wrist. And I cried.
I don't know how long I would have cried if someone had not found me.
The person was Winnie.
There was a knock on the door and I opened it to find Winnie looking up at me.
" May I come in?" She asked. I nodded mutely. And opened the door so she could come in.
She came in and looked up at me. She dug in her pocket for a moment and brought out a somewhat rumpled handkerchief. She handed it to me and I nodded my thanks before wiping my face.
I led her into my room without thinking and when I saw her eyes widen I realized why instantly: The blood. From my wrist. I didn't know what to say. I croaked and few times but nothing came out.
" Oh Miles." She said and looked at me. " You loved her so much, didn't you?" She said it with sadness but not pity. She reached out and carefully turned my hand over to look at my wrist. She ran her fingers lightly over the scars. She looked back up at me and said softly,
" Would you like to go down to the main part on the Inn? Get away from um... Just get away?" I nodded, mute again. I was at a loss for words.
When we got down to the main part it was mostly empty. I found my voice and asked in a voice husky and hoarse from crying so much,
" Where's Jesse? And Tuck and Mae?" She gestured for me to sit and I did.
" They went to see if they could find someone to shoe the horse. I told them to go without me. I said I wanted to talk to you."
I blinked and said quietly without looking at her,
" Why-Why did you want to talk to me?" Winnie didn't answer at first and I looked up at her. I saw her thinking before answering, as if she were chewing her words before saying them.
And I saw that she had grown up while we had been gone all those long, long years.
" Miles. I saw the look in your eyes. When I saw Jesse again. And I felt... Sad. Not sorry-" She said hastily as she saw me about to object. " Just sad. Not for you, but for all of us. And I want you to know that no matter what happens. I will always, always be your friend."
I felt tears prick at my eyes and I blinked them back. I looked at my wrist and at the scars. The scars that for any other person would be deadly, but for me... Nothing.
As I stared at my wrist I saw Winnie's hand come into view. She out her hand on top of my own; covering my wrist.
We talked for a long time after that. But about happy things. We didn't talk about the past. We talked about what was going to happen next. Where we would go. We as in the whole Tuck family. Together.
And I felt happy again.
@~!*!~@
~ WINNIE'S DIARY AGAIN~
February 26th,
I don't know what to say. I always thought that once I met up with the Tucks again everything would be... I don't know. Easy, I suppose. But it's not.
I can't help wondering all over again if there is some way to change this. Our immortality, I mean.
Then I think: If I could go back to being mortal, would I want to?
I have my family of sorts with me now. And I am happy for the most part. But... I don't want to live forever.
What will forever be like? To wake up every single say until the world ends... And maybe even then, we'll still exist.
I am thankful that I have other people to share the burden with me. But I understand now what Tuck meant when he begged me not to drink the water. I remember his words like it was yesterday:
" What we have, you can't really call living. We're just stuck. like rocks on the side of a river."
And he was right... Oh, so right... And I wish I could have seen that, all those years ago when I drank the water.
And I thought of another thing, late in the night. I don't have that feeling of risk. I could go jump off a tower with a small pool of water at the bottom, and not be scared at all. But if there is no risk, where is the rush? The feeling of possibly giving it all away?
Jesse is here though. But... I feel like I don't know him yet. I mean, it was many many years ago and I threw my life away for him. And yet I have no idea who he really is.
But I suppose that I have an eternity to learn, don't I? I am truely happy to see the Tucks again but at the same time it brings back memories I wish I could erase from memory.
And Miles... I feel guilty when I see him. I chose to be with Jesse and his wife, chose death over him. And then... I can't help wondering which shows more love?
The willingness to let someone go, or to throw everything that ever mattered to be with one person.
Please, my unknown and unexistent reader, please help me do what is right. I have all the time in the world but I still think I may never find the answer.
@~!*!~@
AN/ Ooh! Poor Miles! Was that ok? Was it bad? I felt that I needed to try and capture the idea of how bad immortality would be. But it made me somewhat depressed! You know what might make me feel better? LOT'S OF REVIEWS! lol. Bribery! But pleeeeeeeeeease review and I will love you forever and I'll give you a cookie!
Ooh and don't forget to leave your email addie if ya wanna be on the mailing list.
Ooh and if you have not voted yet I command you to do so asap!!!!!
~Hannah who will be updating more often since it's SUUUUUUUMMER!
