Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, nor Houki, Hotohori, or the ideas that this songfic presents. I do not own Guys and Dolls, or the song 'Adelaide's Lament'. I'm just borrowing both to create a weird song fic. Thanks for listening.

As you know, Houki was in Hotohori's royal harem, a candidate to be his empress. However, Watase-sama never did go into detail about what happened in the harem. This is just my weird perception.

If you've never seen Guys and Dolls, here's a brief summary of the song 'Adelaide's Lament'. Adelaide has been engaged to her fiancee, Nathan Detroit (a man who runs a ton of crap games in New York City during the 1950s) for 14 years. Adelaide keeps getting sick, and her doctor figures her cold is psychology (it's that, and the fact that Nathan's lying behind her back that he's not running his crap game when he is, and the fact Nathan wishes to remain engaged). One night, Adelaine finds out Nathan is still running the crap game she thought he ended a while ago, and then kicked Nathan out, and started to sing the song (it's a musical!).

So, here we go... All lyrics are bolded, and the inner thoughts of Houki are italized. And, yes, I realized I hadn't changed any lyrics, and it sound strange for Houki to be talking about a 'train', and Niagara. Please go along with it. And yes, this does contradict Eikou Den's story of Houki. Oh well. Well then...

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"Oh, Houki, how long have you been sick for?" Houki turned to one of her dearest friends, and stared at her for a moment.

"No idea. I just don't want to think about it."

"Bad idea sweetie." Houki saw Kaida, an old woman caring for the woman in the harem, come over to Houki and Aiko. "You know how the Emperor has never come here in the year you all have been here. I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that soon, he's going to chose a lady to marry."

"You're kidding?!" Houki was overjoyed with the news. She had never wanted to join the harem, nor did she wish to be picked. She just wanted to go home, and see her family, who she hadn't seen in a great while, as well as her oldest friends.

This is so great! If he doesn't pick me, then I can go home, no strings attached! How I've missed the meadows, the lakes, the streams...

"Houki, why are you smiling?" Houki stopped. Riiiight... I'm supposed to act as if I want to marry the emperor, not as if I want to go home.

"A-a-a... At the fact that he might chose someone soon!" Nice cover.

"With a cold like yours? Sweetie, you better start sleeping, as well as concentrating on getting better!" Aiko's voice was filled with care as she stared at her sick friend, who was currently trying to hold a sneeze back.

"Not to worry girls, not to worry! I have the cure!" Houki and Aiko stared at the graying woman, wary of what her cure might be. Every girl in the harem knew that Kaida's cures for anything would never work, and they tried to steer clear of her herbal plants that did nothing, or her rosaries that she swore Suzaku had blessed for a runny nose. All knew she was steadily growing older, and her sanity, at the same time, had been reduced greatly as the years went on.

"The... the cure?"

"Yes girls, the cure!" Kaida fished through her skirts, looking for something, until she found what she was looking for: a book.

"A book?"

"Darling, you've been sick too long for your cold to be anything common! It must have something to do with something bigger! And this book says it all!"

"Kaida, where did you get that book?" Houki's eyes grew worried as the seconds ticked by, wondering where her possible 'cure' came from.

"I got it from a vender in the city! Now, no worries!" Houki and Aida glanced at each other, and Kaida continued, opening the book, flipping pages until she found what she wanted. "Ah-ha! Here it is!" Kaida opened the book fully open, and began to read. "It says here: The average unmarried female, basically insecure, due to some long frustration may react..."

Oh yeah, like this junk is going to help me...

"Houki, listen! This might help! With psychosomatic symptoms, difficult to endure, affecting the upper respiratory tract."

Houki and Aika glanced at each other, wondering if the woman herself was ill. Kaida looked up, and summed up what she just read.

"In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold, a person can develop a cold. You can spray her wherever you figure there's streptococci lurk. You can give her a shot for whatever's she's got, but it just won't work. If she's tired of getting the fish eye from the hotel clerk, a person can develop a cold."

"Kaida, are you sure this is going to work?"

"Positive, sweetie! No worries, for I can find any cure for anything!" Kaida smiled, and placed the book into Houki's hands. "Now, take this, and hopefully your cold will be gone in a matter of days!"

"Th- thanks..." Houki took the book, and looked at the page where Kaida was just reading from.

"Houki... Kaida's scaring me." Aida spoke to her friend, who currently wasn't listening.

"It says here: The female remaining single, just in the legal sense, shows a neurotic tendency, see note."

"See note?" The look on Aida's face gave Houki a laugh, resulting in a coughing fit.

"As in a note at the bottom of the page! Silly Aida..." She then continued, not caring for the fact that a few other girls from the harem- the ones who were the most dolled up, wanting to emperor to choose them the most- had just walked in.

"Oh, Houki!" The sheer fakeness in their voices shone through. "Are you feeling better? We hear the emperor might be making a trip here, to see if one of us might want to be his bride. It would be a shame if you got any more sicker... then we might be chosen!" The two giggled like mad as Houki pointedly ignored them, continuing with what she had started.

"Chronic organic symptoms, toxic or hyper tense, involving the eye, the ear, the nose, and throat." The two girls appeared confused, then saw the book Houki was reading from. Laughing hysterically, they walked away, talking about how pointless Kaida's cures were.

"Houki... are you sure this could work?" By now, Houki had ignored all words spoken to her, or around her. After thinking about all the confusing words she hadn't understood meant, she knew she knew the answer to the unasked question.

"In other words, just from worrying if the wedding is on or off, a person can develop a cough." She walked away, entranced by the book she was reading. Although she highly doubted her cold had anything to do with the emperor she was supposed to want to marry, the book was informative, telling her quite a bit.

"Houki... what are you talking about?" The same two who had walked away laughing at Houki were deadly confused at the girl's full concentration of the book, and why she had even bother reading something everyone in the harem knew wouldn't help at all.

Reading again, she continued as she walked around the halls, looking up every once in a while to see if she had strayed from the halls where the harem girls were supposed to stay. She hadn't wanted to get into trouble, but just read, and see if anything this book said made sense with her condition.

"You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the bromofizz, but the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is. If she's getting a kind of name for herself, and the name ain't his, a person can develop a cough." Whoever said I wanted to marry the emperor?

Just then, she noticed how far she had strolled, and stopped, hiding behind a pillar. Just as her thoughts strayed to the emperor, he had come walking down the hall adjoining to the one she was walking down, talking to his ministers. Guards were around him, taking the time to ensure his safety. Houki felt her heart beat quickly, but dismissed it, thinking it was only because she could get into a lot of trouble if she was found. Again, she hid a sneeze that had came about her so quickly.

When the emperor left, with his group of ministers and guards, she stepped out of her hiding spot, and spoke almost quietly.

"And further more, just from stalling, and stalling, and stalling the wedding trip, a person can develop la grippe!" She knew he hadn't heard her, but she still took the time to say it for, not only her (influenced by the book), but for the other girls, who desperately wished he would pick someone. She leaned against the pillar, and sighed, before turning around to go back to the safety point- one that she had been told to stay within when she wandered the halls.

"When they get on that train to Niagara, and she can hear church bells chime. The compartment is air conditioned, and the mood sublime." Houki stopped, when she heard the emperor's voice speaking of the celestial warriors Suzaku had blessed. Houki, once again, hid behind a pillar, but silently spoke to herself again.

"Then they get off at Saratoga for the fourteenth time! A person can develop la grippe, la grippe! La postnasal drip. With the wheezes, and the sneezes, and a sinus that's really a pip!" She calmed her anger down, and quietly ran back to her room, where she hopefully could finish the book that had changed her outlook on her cold, as well as the emperor.

Halfway to her room, she stopped, and turned. She hurriedly finished what she had started earlier, but had been interrupted when he walked near her. "From a lack of community property, and a feeling she's getting too old! A person can develop a bad, bad cold!" She turned around again, but hadn't seen anyone. Panicking, she ran away, thinking that the emperor could find her.

However, her plan to get away unnoticed was destroyed when she ran right into the emperor.

As Houki fell back, her book fell off to the side. She reached out to grab it, but was shocked to see the two guards with the emperor holding spears to her throat. She remained still, listening to the death threats one had threatened her with, but was shocked to hear the emperor speak.

"Enough. Let her go." Houki stared into his eyes, and she saw familiarity in his eyes. She had never met with him before, although she had a strange feeling it might have to do with her dear friend Kourin, who was currently away with the rest of the warriors, working to save Konan. Everyone did say how Kouran and Houki looked like they were twins…

As the guards left the emperor and Houki alone, she grabbed her book and stood, hiding the book behind her back. She bowed low to the leader of her country, but he smiled.

"Please, none of that." She stood, and he smiled. "You... remind me of an old friend of mine."

"Would that be the Lady Kourin, whom you recognize as the celestial warrior Nuriko?" The emperor smiled at Houki, who promptly returned the smile.

"Yes, in fact, it would be. The semblance between you and Nuriko- Lady Kourin to you- is remarkable." He stared at her momentarily. "Would you happen to be a member of the harem my ministers set up for me?"

"Yes, I am." Houki relaxed in the gentle aura of her emperor, and walked around the palace with him, all the while talking about different things that had managed to pop into their heads.

Meanwhile, as Houki toured the palace, she turned slightly, seeing the two girls that had thought Houki was crazy when she began to read from the book Kaida gave her.

"What is Houki doing with the emperor?" The other shook her head, and the two followed Houki with their eyes, and saw her pause, getting ready to sneeze. Both knew what that meant, that Kaida's book hadn't worked, and Houki was still sneezing, but when they saw no sneeze, they stood still.

"I thought Houki was sick! She was just about to sneeze!"

"I agr-" The other had started to agree, when she stopped, and sneeze briefly. Her eyes flashed at her friend's, but hers were shut, for she too was also sneezing. When she opened her eyes slowly, they stared at each other for a moment, eyes saying everything. They got up from their position, and ran calling out the same name in unison.

"KAIDA!!"

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