Star Cheese: Star War's Evil Cousin
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DISCLAIMER: This is Tori's version of Star Wars, inspired by and for the Dark Writers. Most of it is Tori's work, but does use some elements from Rica and Michaela's version of Lord of the Rings. You can look up Rica's fanfiction.net ID by finding the author Frodo Princess of Darkness or going to my favorite authors and Michaela's ID is Anoriel. Oh yeah, and I don't own Star Wars. I wish, though.
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"Luke, go take out the trash!" Luke's Aunt Beru called out to him. "And ask if the garbage men have found anything useful lately." You see, the garbage men in Luke's area not only picked up garbage, but still sold usable salvage on the side.
So Luke took the trash out and saw what the garbage men had to offer. "Wow! Droids!" Luke let out an excited yelp. Imagine all the work he could slack off on if he bought droids to do his chores! So he went up to the garbage men to purchase them.
"These aren't just any droids, they are magical droids," the garbage men told him skeptically as he presented his allowance.
"Uh ... well, I got this melty Krakel candy bar - "
"We'll take it!" the garbage men exclaimed excitedly. Luke looked at them funny while they gobbled it up like savages.
So Luke took the droids home. But when his Uncle Owen found out, he threw them out. "You traded your perfectly melted candy bar for two beat up old droids?!"
Luke sputtered excuses, then solemnly went to bed. When he awakened in the middle of the night, he looked out his window to find ... a beanstalk! "They were magical droids after all!" Luke shouted as he climbed out of bed.
Then he fell out of bed in real life and woke up, realizing that it was just a dream. He went outside and found the two droids arguing outside the window. He brought them inside and tried to fix them up.
Luke came across R2-D2's DVD-ROM drive. "You still have a movie in you, little guy!' Luke said excitedly and pushed the play button as there was no remote. A hologram scene from The Lord of the Rings comes up. R2-D2 tooted with thrill.
"I'll go get some popcorn!" C-3P0 got up and went out of the room. "I finally get to see The Lord of the Rings! Oh, Joy!"
Then the scene stopped all of the sudden and was replaced by the image of a girl in long, white robes with a bun on each side of her head. Luke got up close to the hologram and drooled. The girl kept saying, "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!" like a skipping CD.
C-3P0 came back with the popcorn. "Master Luke! Get out of the way! I wanna watch The Lord of the Rings!" he whined.
The holograms stopped and Luke got out of his trance. "Wha?" he spun around, swinging drool. C-3P0 would have cringed if he could. "Hey! Where did she go?!" he demanded to R2-D2. R2-D2 just whistled innocently.
C-3P0, however, was horror-stricken. "Now I'll never get to watch The Lord of the Rings!" he did the closest thing to a cry that any robot could ever hope to manage.
Luke went away, probably back to bed, fuming.
R2-D2 tooted.
"I bet he hates you now, just like I do!" C-3P0 said harshly.
MORNING TIME
Luke and C-3P0 find out that R2-D2 is missing. C-3P0 said that R2-D2 said something about going to an Obi-Wan Kenobi, who sounded an awful lot like Ben Kenobi, someone that Luke's uncle told him to stay far away from. So indeed that's who Luke decided to head toward when trying to find R2-D2.
Luke and C-3P0 find R2-D2 far out by the canyons near where Ben Kenobi is thought to live. Before leaving, though, they hear the braying of donkeys. Luke gets out his binoculars. "Ooh ... it's those Democrats again! I know because I see the Republicans that they were riding on!" (The Tusken Raiders are the Democrats and the banthas are the Republicans, if you haven't guessed already.)
A "Democrat" sneaks up on Luke and knocked him out with their dangerous umbrella! It was about to carry Luke away when ...
A strange sound is heard over the canyons. Then the sound "Wipe Out!" is heard. An old man in hot pink, white flowered Hawaiian shorts rode a surfboard down the sand dunes. The supposed "Democrats" scattered, riding the supposed "Republicans" as fast as they could.
"Wow! You're ... uh ... Ben, right?" Luke asked.
"Right on, dude," the old hippie grinned.
"Oh, I believe this is your droid," Luke said, motioning to R2-D2.
"Droid? What droid?"
"This droid, which claims to be your droid."
"Droid, I can't remember a droid."
"But it's yours!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
A voice shouted from the canyons, "Both of you shut up before I explode!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
They didn't heed the thunderous words.
BOOM!!
An explosion creates a gust of wind that nearly knocked them off their feet and chunks of debris blow everywhere.
"Let's go to my house where there's a bomb shelter," Ben sniffed.
In Ben's Cave, Luke goes through a period of enlightenment as he learns that the old man is Obi-Wan, he learns about the Force, listens to Princess Leia's whole message, finds out that his father was a Jedi, and all that other stuff.
Then they headed back to Luke's house. A huge explosion rocked the earth again and a mushroom shaped cloud hung over in the direction of Luke's house. Luke and Obi-Wan looked at each other. They didn't start arguing again, did they?! Obviously not. So they continued back to the house. They saw dead garbage people on the way, which Obi-Wan pointed out were killed by the evil eggbeater weapons of the Empire's Imperial Storm Troopers. They went farther until they found a huge crater where Luke's house used to be.
Luke cries, "My Pentium 22! My Gameboy Really Super Advance! Noooo!" Luke pouts some more, the word cheese seems to come from him, then he spun around and told Ben that he would go with him to that Alderaan place he told him about. So they have to find a ship to travel in first ...
Now back to Princess Leia, who was previously captured by Vader in the last chapter. Governor Tarkin laughed at her while she was trapped in a glass cell. "If you do not tell us the location of the plans, we'll entrance you with the eggbeater."
"Plans? What plans?" she asked, really confused.
Vader and Tarkin really don't wish to start that again, so Tarkin yells out, "Commence with the cake!"
So an eggbeater comes out as well as several other cooking utensils and they begin to make a cake in front of Leia in her torture chamber.
"Noooo!" she yells hopelessly, for she's ashamed to watch because she can't cook anything at all.
******
Finally I got this chapter up! Did you like it? I'll write more soon, I promise! Oh, and I didn't steal anyone's ideas! A lot of people make parodies of Star Wars and other movies, so don't accuse me!
******
DISCLAIMER: This is Tori's version of Star Wars, inspired by and for the Dark Writers. Most of it is Tori's work, but does use some elements from Rica and Michaela's version of Lord of the Rings. You can look up Rica's fanfiction.net ID by finding the author Frodo Princess of Darkness or going to my favorite authors and Michaela's ID is Anoriel. Oh yeah, and I don't own Star Wars. I wish, though.
******
"Luke, go take out the trash!" Luke's Aunt Beru called out to him. "And ask if the garbage men have found anything useful lately." You see, the garbage men in Luke's area not only picked up garbage, but still sold usable salvage on the side.
So Luke took the trash out and saw what the garbage men had to offer. "Wow! Droids!" Luke let out an excited yelp. Imagine all the work he could slack off on if he bought droids to do his chores! So he went up to the garbage men to purchase them.
"These aren't just any droids, they are magical droids," the garbage men told him skeptically as he presented his allowance.
"Uh ... well, I got this melty Krakel candy bar - "
"We'll take it!" the garbage men exclaimed excitedly. Luke looked at them funny while they gobbled it up like savages.
So Luke took the droids home. But when his Uncle Owen found out, he threw them out. "You traded your perfectly melted candy bar for two beat up old droids?!"
Luke sputtered excuses, then solemnly went to bed. When he awakened in the middle of the night, he looked out his window to find ... a beanstalk! "They were magical droids after all!" Luke shouted as he climbed out of bed.
Then he fell out of bed in real life and woke up, realizing that it was just a dream. He went outside and found the two droids arguing outside the window. He brought them inside and tried to fix them up.
Luke came across R2-D2's DVD-ROM drive. "You still have a movie in you, little guy!' Luke said excitedly and pushed the play button as there was no remote. A hologram scene from The Lord of the Rings comes up. R2-D2 tooted with thrill.
"I'll go get some popcorn!" C-3P0 got up and went out of the room. "I finally get to see The Lord of the Rings! Oh, Joy!"
Then the scene stopped all of the sudden and was replaced by the image of a girl in long, white robes with a bun on each side of her head. Luke got up close to the hologram and drooled. The girl kept saying, "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!" like a skipping CD.
C-3P0 came back with the popcorn. "Master Luke! Get out of the way! I wanna watch The Lord of the Rings!" he whined.
The holograms stopped and Luke got out of his trance. "Wha?" he spun around, swinging drool. C-3P0 would have cringed if he could. "Hey! Where did she go?!" he demanded to R2-D2. R2-D2 just whistled innocently.
C-3P0, however, was horror-stricken. "Now I'll never get to watch The Lord of the Rings!" he did the closest thing to a cry that any robot could ever hope to manage.
Luke went away, probably back to bed, fuming.
R2-D2 tooted.
"I bet he hates you now, just like I do!" C-3P0 said harshly.
MORNING TIME
Luke and C-3P0 find out that R2-D2 is missing. C-3P0 said that R2-D2 said something about going to an Obi-Wan Kenobi, who sounded an awful lot like Ben Kenobi, someone that Luke's uncle told him to stay far away from. So indeed that's who Luke decided to head toward when trying to find R2-D2.
Luke and C-3P0 find R2-D2 far out by the canyons near where Ben Kenobi is thought to live. Before leaving, though, they hear the braying of donkeys. Luke gets out his binoculars. "Ooh ... it's those Democrats again! I know because I see the Republicans that they were riding on!" (The Tusken Raiders are the Democrats and the banthas are the Republicans, if you haven't guessed already.)
A "Democrat" sneaks up on Luke and knocked him out with their dangerous umbrella! It was about to carry Luke away when ...
A strange sound is heard over the canyons. Then the sound "Wipe Out!" is heard. An old man in hot pink, white flowered Hawaiian shorts rode a surfboard down the sand dunes. The supposed "Democrats" scattered, riding the supposed "Republicans" as fast as they could.
"Wow! You're ... uh ... Ben, right?" Luke asked.
"Right on, dude," the old hippie grinned.
"Oh, I believe this is your droid," Luke said, motioning to R2-D2.
"Droid? What droid?"
"This droid, which claims to be your droid."
"Droid, I can't remember a droid."
"But it's yours!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
A voice shouted from the canyons, "Both of you shut up before I explode!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
They didn't heed the thunderous words.
BOOM!!
An explosion creates a gust of wind that nearly knocked them off their feet and chunks of debris blow everywhere.
"Let's go to my house where there's a bomb shelter," Ben sniffed.
In Ben's Cave, Luke goes through a period of enlightenment as he learns that the old man is Obi-Wan, he learns about the Force, listens to Princess Leia's whole message, finds out that his father was a Jedi, and all that other stuff.
Then they headed back to Luke's house. A huge explosion rocked the earth again and a mushroom shaped cloud hung over in the direction of Luke's house. Luke and Obi-Wan looked at each other. They didn't start arguing again, did they?! Obviously not. So they continued back to the house. They saw dead garbage people on the way, which Obi-Wan pointed out were killed by the evil eggbeater weapons of the Empire's Imperial Storm Troopers. They went farther until they found a huge crater where Luke's house used to be.
Luke cries, "My Pentium 22! My Gameboy Really Super Advance! Noooo!" Luke pouts some more, the word cheese seems to come from him, then he spun around and told Ben that he would go with him to that Alderaan place he told him about. So they have to find a ship to travel in first ...
Now back to Princess Leia, who was previously captured by Vader in the last chapter. Governor Tarkin laughed at her while she was trapped in a glass cell. "If you do not tell us the location of the plans, we'll entrance you with the eggbeater."
"Plans? What plans?" she asked, really confused.
Vader and Tarkin really don't wish to start that again, so Tarkin yells out, "Commence with the cake!"
So an eggbeater comes out as well as several other cooking utensils and they begin to make a cake in front of Leia in her torture chamber.
"Noooo!" she yells hopelessly, for she's ashamed to watch because she can't cook anything at all.
******
Finally I got this chapter up! Did you like it? I'll write more soon, I promise! Oh, and I didn't steal anyone's ideas! A lot of people make parodies of Star Wars and other movies, so don't accuse me!
