Notes: Thanks to Sheree for betaing, all mistakes are my own.
Go terms:
Jigo: A drawn game.
katetsugi: A open connection. An example is three stones surrounding an empty point. Promise for eye shape, but can be attacked.
yose: End game.
kakari: Attacking a single enemy corner stone.
taisha: Resulting in a near-equal positions for white and black when a kakari is ignored.
moku: Intersections on the go board.
Chapter 4
Sente: A threat forcing direct response; it creates initiative.
I did not leave the Amateur Competition until five o'clock. Kawai-san and I played two games together. Before he left he told me to tell Shindou that I was a worthy opponent to him.
I smiled as I opened to the door to the apartment, but to my surprise Shindou had not returned home yet. The game with Ogata could not have lasted this long.
At six-thirty, I picked up the phone, and dialed Amano's number.
"Hello?" He picked up immediately.
"Amano-san, this is Touya Akira. I'm sorry to bother you."
"Not at all. What can I do for you, Touya-kun?"
"I was wondering if you know where Shindou is. I know you went to his game with Ogata-san today…" I stopped talking.
"Akira-kun, do you know where your father is?" mother asked. "He hasn't returned from his match yet."
"Shindou-kun went to the Go Institute," Amano said. "I think he said something about looking over some kifu."
"Thank you."
"Oh, Touya-kun?" Amano hesitated. "Ogata-sensei asked me where Shindou-kun was too. He sounded… well, if you go to the Go Institute and see Ogata-san there, perhaps you should call him a cab."
"Did he lose?"
"No, Ogata-sensei won."
"All right. Thank you, Amano-san." I hung up and put on my jacket. Ogata and Shindou were both at the Go Institute… Checking my watch I realized that I could still catch the rapid train. I ran.
I was out of breath when I got on the train.
It's been years since I ran to catch the train.
By the time I arrived at the Go Institute it was nearly eight. The lamplights had already come on. Next to the entrance of the building, I saw Ogata. Leaning against the wall with his head tilted towards the sky, he blew out cigarette smoke slowly.
"Ogata-san." I approached him.
"Came here to see your rival eh?" Ogata's speech was slurred. I could smell the overwhelming odor of alcohol.
"Would you like me to call you a cab, Ogata-san?"
"Don't treat me like I'm an old man who can't take care of himself!" Ogata lunged forward, and grabbed my shoulders. The cigarette, still lit, remained between his fingers.
"Ogata-san!" I tried to back away, but he held on tight, and the ash of the cigarette landed on me.
"How long? How long before you overtake me?" Ogata shook me, then released me abruptly and collapsed back against the wall.
"Ogata-san." I approached him again. He did not look well. But before I could get close enough, he held up his hand.
"Don't. Don't fuss over me like a damn woman, Akira."
I was wondering if it was safe for me to leave him by himself while I went to call a taxi when Ogata started laughing, harsh and bitter.
"I cheated today," he said as he looked up at me.
No, he couldn't have. Shindou would have noticed.
"I was losing. I knew I was going to lose. He's a better player than me. I can feel it." Ogata pushed up his glasses and glared at me. "So you know what I did? No, of course not, because you would never cheat!"
He paused and laughed again. "During lunch break I asked Shindou if the reason that he keeps on losing to you is because he likes you so much that he didn't want you to feel bad."
The air around me froze.
"If he goes after any of my titles, I have no way of winning." Ogata's voice suddenly dropped to a whisper. "If you came after my titles, I'd at least have a fighting chance."
My breathing was becoming increasingly audible, and it echoed in my ears.
"So this is what I'm reduced to?!" Ogata screamed toward the sky. "Playing little mind games with brats?! I'm not Kuwabara! I'm not, damn it! I will not become him!"
I stared at him, and tried to breathe.
Somewhere near me I heard a car door open and shut.
"Are you Ogata-san?" a taxi driver asked as he walked over to us.
Ogata looked at him, and then turned back to me with venom in his eyes.
"Amano-san asked me to pick you up." The driver looked from me to Ogata.
The driver opened his mouth again to speak when neither of us replied, but Ogata cut him off with the wave of his hand.
"See you in two weeks, Touya Akira." Ogata pushed himself up from the wall and walked to the taxi cab without looking back. He tossed the butt of his cigarette towards me, and it landed in front of my feet.
The taxi driver stared in confusion for a second longer before running back to his car.
I heard the taxi drive off, but I stood where I was listening to the sound of my own breathing. The flash of taillights lingered on me for a moment before moving on.
In the last game we played, Shindou formed a katetsugi during yose. It left his right side vulnerable to attack. I won by one moku. The game before that, Shindou allowed the taisha when he ignored my kakari and attacked the 4-5 point instead. He won by a half moku.
A trickle of sweat slowly dripped down from my temple, leaving a trail along my face. I did not wipe it away, and I felt the salty sting.
"Touya!" Shindou's voice. Shindou!
"What are you doing here, Touya?" he asked and I heard his footsteps as he came closer.
"You've passed me, haven't you?" I did not look at Shindou.
"What are you talking about, Touya?" Shindou sounded strained. When he spoke again his voice was softer. "Touya. Touya, I… What happened to your jacket?"
Jacket?
"There's a burn mark on it!" Shindou pointed to my left shoulder, and my eyes followed his finger. A burn mark… Ogata's cigarette.
"Ogata-san was here."
"He put a cigarette out on you?!" Shindou clenched his fist.
"No, he… he was very drunk."
"Oh."
"Was he right, Shindou? Was what he said right? Are you too nice?"
"No! I'm not Isumi!" Shindou grabbed my shoulders. Still sore from Ogata's hands, I flinched, and Shindou immediately released me. He looked down at his own hands.
He was trembling.
"Shindou…"
"I'm not… I don't… I'm not like that. I…" His fists were clenched so tightly I could see the whiteness of his knuckles.
"What did you find in the kifu? Did you find the answer you were looking for?"
"I didn't find it… not the answer I was looking for," Shindou whispered. Then he looked toward me again, his voice pleading. "Touya, I'm tired. Let's go home, okay?"
The lamplight flickered above us. Once… twice… three times.
I nodded.
We were both silent on the way back. When we arrived at the apartment, Waya was sitting outside the door with his eyes closed.
"You need to get a cell phone!" Waya said with his eyes still closed. "Where have you been? Your game with Ogata ended hours ago." When he finally opened his eyes and saw me, his eyes widened. "Touya Akira? What are you doing here?"
"Um… he's staying with me." Shindou quickly unlocked the door. "What are you doing here, Waya?"
Waya's eyes were still jumping between Shindou and me; his mouth dropped open, but he quickly closed it.
"You didn't tell me… I thought you said… I mean… I…" Waya brought his hand over his chin. I have seen him doing that only during matches when he was about to make a move.
"I'M NOT YOU! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" Shindou covered his mouth with his hand immediately after his strange outburst.
"Shindou--" Waya started to talk, but Shindou was already apologizing.
"That's not what I meant, Waya. I mean I have no problems with that. I'm just not… I wasn't… I'm sorry! I lost to Ogata 10-dan today. I'm having a really bad day. I'm sorry Waya." Shindou's words came so quickly they ran into each other.
"It's okay, Shindou," Waya looked away. "I knew you didn't mean it like that."
"Waya--"
Waya started to walk away. "I will see you later."
"Waya, wait," Shindou clasped Waya's arm.
Waya turned back and smiled. "No, really Shindou, I'm not mad. I'm used to you sticking your foot in your mouth now. I will see you tomorrow."
Shindou smiled back weakly and released Waya. "Okay. See you tomorrow."
Waya brushed past me. "See you, Touya."
"Ah."
When Waya left, Shindou and I still had not spoken a word to each other.
"There is leftover udon from this morning," I said as I took off my shoes and my jacket.
"Um," Shindou nodded, and opened the refrigerator.
"I'm going to sleep."
"Okay." Shindou stared intently at the contents of the refrigerator as I walked past him.
Laying down on my futon, I could hear the sound of Shindou reheating the food, then eating it in the kitchen. A few minutes later, the faucet in the kitchen turned on. But it did not turn off again, and I fell asleep to the sound of the flowing water.
~TBC
Go terms:
Jigo: A drawn game.
katetsugi: A open connection. An example is three stones surrounding an empty point. Promise for eye shape, but can be attacked.
yose: End game.
kakari: Attacking a single enemy corner stone.
taisha: Resulting in a near-equal positions for white and black when a kakari is ignored.
moku: Intersections on the go board.
Chapter 4
Sente: A threat forcing direct response; it creates initiative.
I did not leave the Amateur Competition until five o'clock. Kawai-san and I played two games together. Before he left he told me to tell Shindou that I was a worthy opponent to him.
I smiled as I opened to the door to the apartment, but to my surprise Shindou had not returned home yet. The game with Ogata could not have lasted this long.
At six-thirty, I picked up the phone, and dialed Amano's number.
"Hello?" He picked up immediately.
"Amano-san, this is Touya Akira. I'm sorry to bother you."
"Not at all. What can I do for you, Touya-kun?"
"I was wondering if you know where Shindou is. I know you went to his game with Ogata-san today…" I stopped talking.
"Akira-kun, do you know where your father is?" mother asked. "He hasn't returned from his match yet."
"Shindou-kun went to the Go Institute," Amano said. "I think he said something about looking over some kifu."
"Thank you."
"Oh, Touya-kun?" Amano hesitated. "Ogata-sensei asked me where Shindou-kun was too. He sounded… well, if you go to the Go Institute and see Ogata-san there, perhaps you should call him a cab."
"Did he lose?"
"No, Ogata-sensei won."
"All right. Thank you, Amano-san." I hung up and put on my jacket. Ogata and Shindou were both at the Go Institute… Checking my watch I realized that I could still catch the rapid train. I ran.
I was out of breath when I got on the train.
It's been years since I ran to catch the train.
By the time I arrived at the Go Institute it was nearly eight. The lamplights had already come on. Next to the entrance of the building, I saw Ogata. Leaning against the wall with his head tilted towards the sky, he blew out cigarette smoke slowly.
"Ogata-san." I approached him.
"Came here to see your rival eh?" Ogata's speech was slurred. I could smell the overwhelming odor of alcohol.
"Would you like me to call you a cab, Ogata-san?"
"Don't treat me like I'm an old man who can't take care of himself!" Ogata lunged forward, and grabbed my shoulders. The cigarette, still lit, remained between his fingers.
"Ogata-san!" I tried to back away, but he held on tight, and the ash of the cigarette landed on me.
"How long? How long before you overtake me?" Ogata shook me, then released me abruptly and collapsed back against the wall.
"Ogata-san." I approached him again. He did not look well. But before I could get close enough, he held up his hand.
"Don't. Don't fuss over me like a damn woman, Akira."
I was wondering if it was safe for me to leave him by himself while I went to call a taxi when Ogata started laughing, harsh and bitter.
"I cheated today," he said as he looked up at me.
No, he couldn't have. Shindou would have noticed.
"I was losing. I knew I was going to lose. He's a better player than me. I can feel it." Ogata pushed up his glasses and glared at me. "So you know what I did? No, of course not, because you would never cheat!"
He paused and laughed again. "During lunch break I asked Shindou if the reason that he keeps on losing to you is because he likes you so much that he didn't want you to feel bad."
The air around me froze.
"If he goes after any of my titles, I have no way of winning." Ogata's voice suddenly dropped to a whisper. "If you came after my titles, I'd at least have a fighting chance."
My breathing was becoming increasingly audible, and it echoed in my ears.
"So this is what I'm reduced to?!" Ogata screamed toward the sky. "Playing little mind games with brats?! I'm not Kuwabara! I'm not, damn it! I will not become him!"
I stared at him, and tried to breathe.
Somewhere near me I heard a car door open and shut.
"Are you Ogata-san?" a taxi driver asked as he walked over to us.
Ogata looked at him, and then turned back to me with venom in his eyes.
"Amano-san asked me to pick you up." The driver looked from me to Ogata.
The driver opened his mouth again to speak when neither of us replied, but Ogata cut him off with the wave of his hand.
"See you in two weeks, Touya Akira." Ogata pushed himself up from the wall and walked to the taxi cab without looking back. He tossed the butt of his cigarette towards me, and it landed in front of my feet.
The taxi driver stared in confusion for a second longer before running back to his car.
I heard the taxi drive off, but I stood where I was listening to the sound of my own breathing. The flash of taillights lingered on me for a moment before moving on.
In the last game we played, Shindou formed a katetsugi during yose. It left his right side vulnerable to attack. I won by one moku. The game before that, Shindou allowed the taisha when he ignored my kakari and attacked the 4-5 point instead. He won by a half moku.
A trickle of sweat slowly dripped down from my temple, leaving a trail along my face. I did not wipe it away, and I felt the salty sting.
"Touya!" Shindou's voice. Shindou!
"What are you doing here, Touya?" he asked and I heard his footsteps as he came closer.
"You've passed me, haven't you?" I did not look at Shindou.
"What are you talking about, Touya?" Shindou sounded strained. When he spoke again his voice was softer. "Touya. Touya, I… What happened to your jacket?"
Jacket?
"There's a burn mark on it!" Shindou pointed to my left shoulder, and my eyes followed his finger. A burn mark… Ogata's cigarette.
"Ogata-san was here."
"He put a cigarette out on you?!" Shindou clenched his fist.
"No, he… he was very drunk."
"Oh."
"Was he right, Shindou? Was what he said right? Are you too nice?"
"No! I'm not Isumi!" Shindou grabbed my shoulders. Still sore from Ogata's hands, I flinched, and Shindou immediately released me. He looked down at his own hands.
He was trembling.
"Shindou…"
"I'm not… I don't… I'm not like that. I…" His fists were clenched so tightly I could see the whiteness of his knuckles.
"What did you find in the kifu? Did you find the answer you were looking for?"
"I didn't find it… not the answer I was looking for," Shindou whispered. Then he looked toward me again, his voice pleading. "Touya, I'm tired. Let's go home, okay?"
The lamplight flickered above us. Once… twice… three times.
I nodded.
We were both silent on the way back. When we arrived at the apartment, Waya was sitting outside the door with his eyes closed.
"You need to get a cell phone!" Waya said with his eyes still closed. "Where have you been? Your game with Ogata ended hours ago." When he finally opened his eyes and saw me, his eyes widened. "Touya Akira? What are you doing here?"
"Um… he's staying with me." Shindou quickly unlocked the door. "What are you doing here, Waya?"
Waya's eyes were still jumping between Shindou and me; his mouth dropped open, but he quickly closed it.
"You didn't tell me… I thought you said… I mean… I…" Waya brought his hand over his chin. I have seen him doing that only during matches when he was about to make a move.
"I'M NOT YOU! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" Shindou covered his mouth with his hand immediately after his strange outburst.
"Shindou--" Waya started to talk, but Shindou was already apologizing.
"That's not what I meant, Waya. I mean I have no problems with that. I'm just not… I wasn't… I'm sorry! I lost to Ogata 10-dan today. I'm having a really bad day. I'm sorry Waya." Shindou's words came so quickly they ran into each other.
"It's okay, Shindou," Waya looked away. "I knew you didn't mean it like that."
"Waya--"
Waya started to walk away. "I will see you later."
"Waya, wait," Shindou clasped Waya's arm.
Waya turned back and smiled. "No, really Shindou, I'm not mad. I'm used to you sticking your foot in your mouth now. I will see you tomorrow."
Shindou smiled back weakly and released Waya. "Okay. See you tomorrow."
Waya brushed past me. "See you, Touya."
"Ah."
When Waya left, Shindou and I still had not spoken a word to each other.
"There is leftover udon from this morning," I said as I took off my shoes and my jacket.
"Um," Shindou nodded, and opened the refrigerator.
"I'm going to sleep."
"Okay." Shindou stared intently at the contents of the refrigerator as I walked past him.
Laying down on my futon, I could hear the sound of Shindou reheating the food, then eating it in the kitchen. A few minutes later, the faucet in the kitchen turned on. But it did not turn off again, and I fell asleep to the sound of the flowing water.
~TBC
