Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Warner Brothers bought me out.
"Oh, no," Harry moaned as he entered the Great Hall. On every other pillar was a small poster with news on the dance. Sure enough, most of the girls in the hall were not at their seats, but huddled around the posters. Strangely, most of the guys were in their seats, looking like they wished to learn an instantaneous self-incineration spell. Harry empathized with them, but he knew he wasn't to the worst part yet.
Harry's fears were confirmed as Lavender and Parvati sidled up to him. However, they surprised him by asking, "So, Harry, when's Heather coming up?"
Harry blinked and asked, "Er, Heather?"
Lavender lightly scoffed and said, "No need to play clueless. It didn't take very long to figure your mystery woman. Miss Heather Trombley. Of course, she isn't quite as tall as you said, but it was really obvious you were talking about her. So, when's she coming up?"
Harry desperately hoped Rita Skeeter would keep to her word about not writing articles for a year. He could just imagine the stories if she talked with either of these two. 'Harry Potter's Romantic Relationship' or 'The French Liason' – he could see the headlines now. "Er, H.T. didn't stand for Heather Tomby, or whatever you said. It… er… stands for…"
Harry paused, trying to think of a name. Fortunately, Parvati misinterpreted his delay and said, "Harry you can trust us. Who is it?"
"Helga," Harry blurted, "Helga, er, Thompson."
"But we didn't find a…" Lavender started.
Harry quickly lied, "She died."
"What?" Parvati asked, alarmed.
"She, er, died. Dragon accident," Harry made up.
Lavender put her arm around Harry and softly said, "Well, if you want to talk…"
Parvati whispered, "Or dance…"
Harry shrugged off the girls and said, "I'll make sure I find you two, then. See you later."
Harry walked over to Ron who was laughing at Harry's face.
"You keep digging yourself in deeper there, Harry," Ron chuckled.
"No, I think I got rid of them," Harry sighed.
"Yeah," Ron laughed, "and those sympathetic faces filled with admiration on how you're bravely carrying on are aimed at me."
Harry looked back over at the two girls and saw that his friend was right. "Erg," Harry moaned, "Will this ever end!"
Ron smirked and said, "It will if you ask someone. Like, say, Cho?"
"Cho?" Harry asked, pretending to be confused.
"Harry, I'm not as dumb as those two. Just ask her."
Harry grimaced and said, "Yeah. After what happened last year, I can just see her saying, 'Well, I'm glad you're asking me since my last boyfriend tragically died, and I'm in need of a new one.' I don't know, Ron."
"Worth a try at least," Ron replied.
"Maybe," Harry admitted, "but not now."
Harry exited through the entrance hall more eager for charms to start than ever before. They were to meet for the class out on the grounds, which they had never done before in the last four years. It only made sense to Harry that today's lecture would be exciting.
Flitwick met them out behind the castle and Harry gaped at the enormous pile of mud, which was at least 20 meters high and 10 meters wide. "Today's class," Flitwick began, "really is a combination of Transfiguration, Charms, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. So, if you need help, you can ask three different instructors."
Ron leaned close to Harry and whispered, "Assuming we can find something Hermione doesn't know."
Flitwick continued oblivious to Ron's interruption, "For the next several weeks we will be learning about Golems. The first few we'll learn how to create and strengthen them. Then we'll learn how to fight the golems ourselves. Finally, we'll learn to use them in a combat situation. Let's start out with a small demonstration. Granger and Weasley, will you come up to the front?"
Hermione eagerly went up to Flitwick's side, but Ron half-trudged up. Harry could empathize – he wouldn't be eager to face off against Hermione in front of the class, either.
As Ron finally reached the front, Flitwick said, "Now, the simplest golem spell is the general golem. Simply point your wand at the material, in his case dirt, and say, 'Automatae' and a creature should emerge.
Flitwick looked at the two students expectantly; Ron and Hermione both cast the charm and the mud pile began to stretch. Two figures emerged – a large bear and a small cat. The feline realistically slinked over to Hermione while the larger creature lumbered to Ron's side.
Flitwick smiled and said, "Muggles have legends of homunculi such as the golem, but they believe them to take human form. As you can see, golems take a variety of shapes. Weasley, Granger, focus on your animations and think clearly in your mind, 'Attack the other Golem'."
The two students concentrated on their creations. Suddenly, the cat began to hiss and arch its back; the bear let out a giant roar. The feline leaped at the bear and began thrashing its claws. Yet despite the cat's efforts, it was clear that it couldn't hope to defeat a bear. Sure enough, Ron's golem violently hit the cat off of its arm. The cat rolled onto its feet, but before it could launch another attack, the giant bear swiftly kicked it. Harry watched as Hermione's golem flew through the air, sailing at least 30 meters, before hitting the ground with a giant splat.
Ron's bear went over to the flat pile of mud that used to be Hermione's golem and began doing a lumbering victory dance. Flitwick smiled and said, "I should point out that golems sometimes take aspects of our personalities."
Hermione turned to Ron and sarcastically said, "Oh really? So you get overjoyed whenever you beat me at something?"
Ron blushed but quickly replied, "Of course not!"
As the rest of the class started to create their golems, Ron whispered to Harry, "Did you see my bear kick the stuffing out of Hermione's cat?"
Harry laughed and asked, "So how is it that you're not overjoyed by beating Hermione?"
Ron ignored him and murmured, "My golem is better than Hermione's. Mine. Is. Better. Nothing can ruin my mood now!"
Flitwick spoke over the class, "After you work with the general golem for awhile, I'll teach you the combat and reconnaissance forms."
Ron suddenly realized the golem fight wasn't a true test, since the cat obviously wasn't Hermione's combat golem's form, and he hadn't really beaten her at all. Harry noticed his friend's expression and quickly said, "Did you hear that, Ron? If that bear was just your general form, imagine how strong your combat golem will be!"
Ron looked at Harry, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "You're right, Harry. Hermione doesn't stand a chance," he said gleefully.
Hermione appeared behind them and sardonically remarked, "Listen to that overjoyed voice."
Harry left the two of them, knowing they were probably seconds away from yet another row. Besides, he still had to make his golem. Harry laughed as he saw his form emerge from the pile: it was a giant dog. If it were black mud, it would've looked exactly like his godfather. However, as soon as the canine stepped clear of the mud pile, Ron's bear, which had been rampaging through the other golems, kicked it in its midsection.
Instead of flying through the air like Hermione's cat, the dog was simply split in half by the bear's giant foot. Even more startling, the mud from the front half seeped up through the hind leg and began to reform the rest of the dog. Within seconds, Harry's golem had reformed itself and was standing, waiting for instructions.
Harry, slightly confused, mentally called, 'fight back'. The dog growled out and leaped at the bear. The bear swatted at the new threat, but its paws just seemed to flow through the dog.
Ron noticed this and hollered, "Hey, that's not fair! Harry's golem is cheating!" Flitwick only laughed reedily and the rest of the class turned to watch the fight between Harry and Ron's golems.
The bear seemed to be annoyed, and managed to take a large bite out of the dog, even getting a large portion of the front leg. However, a few seconds later, the bear's stomach began to spasmodically twitch, and a paw burst through, clawing fiercly. The dog ate its leg as well after it had emerged from the bear, only this time the mud flowed through the golem and reformed the dog's missing leg. Half the class looked away in disgust while the other half cheered.
The canine regrouped and lunged at the bear's throat. Finally, the dog's thrashing went clear through the bear's neck, and Ron's golem let out a whimper before falling to a muddy pile on the ground. Harry's golem began doing a victory dance, only it looked to be a mockery of the earlier jig done by Ron's bear. When it got to the end by stomping its paws and trying to roar – which came out sounding like a cross between a cough and a growl – the class burst out laughing, even Ron.
Flitwick announced squeakily, with a touch of nervousness, "Potter's golem just demonstrated the fundamental lesson of golems. No matter what shape it takes, it is still just a lump of material. That," Flitwick pointed to Harry's golem, "is NOT a dog. It is mud. Understand this. Golems are only truly limited by physical limits and preconceptions. Automatae"
Harry watched as Flitwick's golem emerged from the pile. Interestingly, it looked a lot like Ron's bear. Then Flitwick waved his wand and three rings were conjured, floating in the air. They appeared to be about 5, 10, and 15 meters off the ground. The large bear began pawing for the lowest one, eventually managing to catch it after an awkward half jump.
Flitwick looked back at the class and asked, "Can it reach the second ring?"
Seamus immediately said, "No possible way! It barely reached the last one."
Flitwick grinned and the bear began stretching. "Remember," the squat wizard chided, "Don't let your preconceptions fool you!" The bear grew more and more emaciated, and began to actually sway a little in the breeze. However, it finally grew tall enough and grabbed the second ring.
"Can it reach the third ring?" Flitwick asked.
Nobody seemed to want to answer. Hermione whispered to Harry, "Well, obviously the answer is yes. But I don't think it could grow any thinner without toppling over."
Harry had an inspiration and answered, "Yes, but it will need some more mud!"
Flitwick smiled and called, "Five points for Gryffindor." The bear lumbered over to the mudpile, which now was merely half as big as the start of class, and began taking giant mouthfuls. Each of the bear's swallows increased its size, and after twenty or so gulps it made its way back to the final ring. The extra mass paid off, and within a minute, Flitwick held all three rings.
Flitwick raised his hands and said, "That's enough for today. Don't practice making golems out of class, at least for a few weeks. If you do, you seriously risk a failing grade. Class dismissed."
As Harry went up to ask the professor a question, he couldn't help but laugh at Ron's gleeful face upon Flitwick's order of no work. "Professor," Harry called after the rest of the students had left, "When your golem needed to grow bigger, why did it eat the mud? Couldn't it just absorb it through the leg?"
Flitwick looked up at Harry and cautiously said, "I don't believe it can be done."
Harry was confused and stammered, "What do you mean? You know it can be done."
Flitwick squeaked, "You're right. I know it can be done." This only made Harry more confused and Flitwick sighed, "Harry, there is a difference between beliefs and knowledge. I know the golems are piles of material, and can absorb more material anywhere along their surface. But I don't believe it. Part of my mind insists that my golem is a bear. Hence it has to eat the material instead. Golem making is an odd science. There are no universal laws – they seem to change from person to person. We'll talk about this a little next class."
Harry made his way back to the commons, still contemplating what Flitwick had told him, and that his golem was capable of something his professor's wasn't.
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Sherman: Well, the last chapter really wasn't that short – it was longer than the first or second. Basically, I try to keep it around 1500 words, but sometimes I have to go short or long because there's no good place to end otherwise. I don't think I'm going to write about what wizard each DADA student picks.
Dear MicroChick
Never mail me again. I didn't touch that wisp, and if you accuse me of hexing students again I'll make your life miserable!
~ Malfoy
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