Frodo was feeling very depressed. He had been very observant for a hobbit,
and had listened in since Gandalf was in a room next to his and the walls
were not as thick as they should be. He had heard some inappropriate noises
coming from there last night. It had broken his little heart.
So the next morning, he had tried to feel something when Sam gave him a sponge bath. But he just did not find himself attracted to the other hobbit anymore. Sam seemed to notice that Frodo was feeling down, and he tried really hard to improve his mood by giving him a sensual massage.
That afternoon, Frodo was walking alone in the gardens when he came across someone that he did not expect to see. It was Bilbo.
Frodo felt a little better because he was reunited with his dear cousin Bilbo. One of Frodo's deepest darkest secrets was that he had had a crush on Bilbo for years. He had never done anything about it because they were so closely related. But there were those in Hobbiton that thought that Frodo had slept his way into being Bilbo's heir.
"Bilbo!" he exclaimed.
"My dear Frodo!"
There was a moment of warm hobbit embracing in which Bilbo definitely grabbed Frodo's butt.
Bilbo followed Frodo back up to his room. Frodo suddenly thought that they were going to... then he realized that Bilbo was going to give him a present, which was a coat of mithril. Frodo was a little alarmed by the way that Bilbo started pulling his shirt off.
Bilbo saw the ring hanging from a chain around Frodo's neck. He knew that Frodo must have gotten it from Gandalf, and he was insane with jealousy. That ring had held a lot of meaning for Bilbo and Gandalf at one time. He hadn't known that Gandalf still had it after they broke up.
Dirty man-whore. I bet he still gets around, Bilbo thought of Gandalf.
Bilbo's reaction was a little too much for Frodo. He was still shaken after the attack of the rape-wraiths. Frodo broke down and began crying. Bilbo apologized, he had not been able to control himself this time.
Frodo was consumed by grief. He had never told anyone this, but he was actually suffering from his break up with Sam, and now Gandalf was sleeping with someone else. He felt lonely, so he thought of who he could sleep with that night. Gandalf was obviously busy with Elrond, Aragorn actually had a girlfriend, that ever so sexy Arwen, and he was completely revolted by Sam. That left only Merry and Pippin.
"I dunno, Merry," Pippin said skeptically.
"It wouldn't be that big of a deal. You sleep with him, I sleep with him, we sleep with each other. That's all there is to having a threesome. Unless we all do it at the same time. But that would be pretty hard," Merry said.
"I still don't know about it. You really are the only one for me, Merry."
"I am not going to have feelings like that for Frodo. It's only until we can find him someone else."
"Fine, let's give this whole threesome thing a try. What harm could it do?"
That night Frodo ended up having a lot more fun than he thought he should be. He thought that there was no way Gandalf could possibly be having as good of a time with Elrond. They were both pretty old and it was harder for them to work it. Gandalf would be jealous of Frodo, he didn't have two hobbits at once.
Frodo felt better than he had in a long time. Sam felt jealous again, and Frodo was worried that he would do something to hurt Merry and Pippin. The only reason he had not tried to kill Gandalf was because, well he was a wizard and Sam didn't even want to think about what Gandalf could do to him.
That day was the council of Elrond. Frodo had been hoping for a party in his honor with male strippers or something, but he was out of luck. It was just a boring-ass "secret" council meeting. Frodo knew very well that it wasn't really secret because he had seen Merry and Pippin shagging in the bushes and Sam was near them somewhere with a very disgusted look on his face that seemed to say can't they wait until they get a room.
The council was over the discussion of the ring that Gandalf had given Frodo. It wasn't that they disapproved of their engagement, even though Elrond was very jealous. Frodo was not really paying attention to what was going on.
There was another elf, a blonde one that apparently went by the name of Legolas. Frodo was fascinated by him, or was it a her? He couldn't tell and hoped that he/she didn't catch him staring because he wanted to know. He assumed that Legolas was male because Elrond, who was so definitely (and openly) gay would not allow even his own sexy daughter, Arwen attend the meeting.
Aragorn had a thing with her, Frodo knew. That must mean that he was bi or something, because Frodo knew that Aragorn had been staring at his ass, which even Frodo had to admit, was quite shapely for a hobbit.
In addition to Legolas the other sexy elf, there was Boromir, a man, who had definitely seen Merry and Pippin as well. There was also what seemed to be a very large hairball, but when it grunted, Frodo realized that it was actually a dwarf.
Elrond said something and everyone looked at Frodo. He still had no idea what was going on. So he stood up and said something about taking the ring to Mordor, hoping that Gandalf would decide to come with him. Then maybe they would get to see the five star resort together. But soon, everyone volunteered to go with, even Merry and Pippin, who had just jumped out of the bushes, and were still zipping their pants up.
So they would be leaving Rivendell shortly and Frodo was excited. Elrond would be staying here, Gandalf was coming, and there were lots of other new people for him to "get acquainted with."
The day that they were leaving, Frodo was feeling very annoyed by Sam, who had been trailing him the whole day and trying to make it look like an accident. Frodo managed to lock him a closet, but unfortunately, Aragorn found him right before they left.
So the next morning, he had tried to feel something when Sam gave him a sponge bath. But he just did not find himself attracted to the other hobbit anymore. Sam seemed to notice that Frodo was feeling down, and he tried really hard to improve his mood by giving him a sensual massage.
That afternoon, Frodo was walking alone in the gardens when he came across someone that he did not expect to see. It was Bilbo.
Frodo felt a little better because he was reunited with his dear cousin Bilbo. One of Frodo's deepest darkest secrets was that he had had a crush on Bilbo for years. He had never done anything about it because they were so closely related. But there were those in Hobbiton that thought that Frodo had slept his way into being Bilbo's heir.
"Bilbo!" he exclaimed.
"My dear Frodo!"
There was a moment of warm hobbit embracing in which Bilbo definitely grabbed Frodo's butt.
Bilbo followed Frodo back up to his room. Frodo suddenly thought that they were going to... then he realized that Bilbo was going to give him a present, which was a coat of mithril. Frodo was a little alarmed by the way that Bilbo started pulling his shirt off.
Bilbo saw the ring hanging from a chain around Frodo's neck. He knew that Frodo must have gotten it from Gandalf, and he was insane with jealousy. That ring had held a lot of meaning for Bilbo and Gandalf at one time. He hadn't known that Gandalf still had it after they broke up.
Dirty man-whore. I bet he still gets around, Bilbo thought of Gandalf.
Bilbo's reaction was a little too much for Frodo. He was still shaken after the attack of the rape-wraiths. Frodo broke down and began crying. Bilbo apologized, he had not been able to control himself this time.
Frodo was consumed by grief. He had never told anyone this, but he was actually suffering from his break up with Sam, and now Gandalf was sleeping with someone else. He felt lonely, so he thought of who he could sleep with that night. Gandalf was obviously busy with Elrond, Aragorn actually had a girlfriend, that ever so sexy Arwen, and he was completely revolted by Sam. That left only Merry and Pippin.
"I dunno, Merry," Pippin said skeptically.
"It wouldn't be that big of a deal. You sleep with him, I sleep with him, we sleep with each other. That's all there is to having a threesome. Unless we all do it at the same time. But that would be pretty hard," Merry said.
"I still don't know about it. You really are the only one for me, Merry."
"I am not going to have feelings like that for Frodo. It's only until we can find him someone else."
"Fine, let's give this whole threesome thing a try. What harm could it do?"
That night Frodo ended up having a lot more fun than he thought he should be. He thought that there was no way Gandalf could possibly be having as good of a time with Elrond. They were both pretty old and it was harder for them to work it. Gandalf would be jealous of Frodo, he didn't have two hobbits at once.
Frodo felt better than he had in a long time. Sam felt jealous again, and Frodo was worried that he would do something to hurt Merry and Pippin. The only reason he had not tried to kill Gandalf was because, well he was a wizard and Sam didn't even want to think about what Gandalf could do to him.
That day was the council of Elrond. Frodo had been hoping for a party in his honor with male strippers or something, but he was out of luck. It was just a boring-ass "secret" council meeting. Frodo knew very well that it wasn't really secret because he had seen Merry and Pippin shagging in the bushes and Sam was near them somewhere with a very disgusted look on his face that seemed to say can't they wait until they get a room.
The council was over the discussion of the ring that Gandalf had given Frodo. It wasn't that they disapproved of their engagement, even though Elrond was very jealous. Frodo was not really paying attention to what was going on.
There was another elf, a blonde one that apparently went by the name of Legolas. Frodo was fascinated by him, or was it a her? He couldn't tell and hoped that he/she didn't catch him staring because he wanted to know. He assumed that Legolas was male because Elrond, who was so definitely (and openly) gay would not allow even his own sexy daughter, Arwen attend the meeting.
Aragorn had a thing with her, Frodo knew. That must mean that he was bi or something, because Frodo knew that Aragorn had been staring at his ass, which even Frodo had to admit, was quite shapely for a hobbit.
In addition to Legolas the other sexy elf, there was Boromir, a man, who had definitely seen Merry and Pippin as well. There was also what seemed to be a very large hairball, but when it grunted, Frodo realized that it was actually a dwarf.
Elrond said something and everyone looked at Frodo. He still had no idea what was going on. So he stood up and said something about taking the ring to Mordor, hoping that Gandalf would decide to come with him. Then maybe they would get to see the five star resort together. But soon, everyone volunteered to go with, even Merry and Pippin, who had just jumped out of the bushes, and were still zipping their pants up.
So they would be leaving Rivendell shortly and Frodo was excited. Elrond would be staying here, Gandalf was coming, and there were lots of other new people for him to "get acquainted with."
The day that they were leaving, Frodo was feeling very annoyed by Sam, who had been trailing him the whole day and trying to make it look like an accident. Frodo managed to lock him a closet, but unfortunately, Aragorn found him right before they left.
