The Explanation
Disclaimer: If I owned Alias, this story would not be necessary!
OK, this is chapter 2 of my first Alias fic, and I've seen a lot of really BAD post 'The Telling' fics out there, so if mine is really bad let me know, I won't mind. I don't want to torture people by writing bad stuff!
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"No!" Sydney says, but it comes out as a hoarse whisper. He was all I had left, she thinks. To find out he's with Sloane…maybe I can't handle this. Maybe I'd have been better off in Hong Kong, remembering nothing…
With this thought she loses all control. She turns away from Vaughn and begins to sob harder than before. Vaughn puts his hands on her shoulders and she turns willingly to cry on his shoulder.
Vaughn feels guilty for two things. First, he feels terrible about what he's doing to Sydney. No matter what he says, he still loves her. But he feels that he has to be loyal to Amanda…
FLASHBACK
"Hi. I'm Amanda Lawrence. You must be Agent Vaughn." She smiles a huge, slightly nervous smile. He thinks of Sydney.
"That's me. Nice to meet you," he says gruffly, quickly shaking her outstretched hand.
Her smile fades into confusion. He feels bad about making such an impression, sure she's wondering what she did. But she's too much like Syd. Her hair is slightly longer and darker, but from a distance she could easily be mistaken for her. She has light brown eyes that are pretty, even though they don't shine like Syd's. She is a few inches shorter than Syd, he notes, thinking how she'll always fall short.
He'd asked her out about a month later. He didn't know why; he hadn't enjoyed it, though she didn't know that. They'd only been dating for four months when they became engaged. He'd been planning on asking Syd that night in Santa Barbara. He only saw Syd when he looked at Amanda, especially at night. He'd even almost called Amanda by her name once…
END FLASHBACK
Vaughn gives up for the moment and just holds Syd close, giving her the comfort she so desperately needs.
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"Syd, wake up," she hears as someone shakes her gently, lovingly she thinks at first.
"Huh?" Sydney sits up and opens her eyes to find Vaughn standing over her with a soft smile on his lips. "Oh!"
"Syd," Vaughn says, using the nickname, "I hated to wake you, but we're about an hour out of LA, and I should explain as much of this as I can." The smile is gone.
Sydney's former look of hope falls. It was all real. "Okay," she says resignedly.
Vaughn sits down next to her. He seems more comfortable; he doesn't make a point of sitting as far from her as he can.
"If you have any questions, just ask." He pauses, thinking how to begin. "I found your house first. When you didn't answer your cell, I got worried. I knocked, but no one answered. I found Will first; he was barely alive. I called 911 and kept looking for you. When I saw Allison, it was plain she was dead. I knew you must have been there, but I couldn't find you." He pauses a moment to regain his composure before he continues. "I called your dad. I knew he'd find some way to fire me it I didn't. We were both there when a call came, two days later, from the forensics team. Jack answered the phone, but when he just stood there with a blank look on his face I took the phone. Syd, they told me that your blood was there, lots of it. They said you were dead. To be honest, I think Sloane told him he could find you alive."
"What about my mother?"
"As far as the CIA was concerned, all three of them dropped off the face of the earth after you disappeared. But all along Sloane must have been contacting Jack. It's possible your mother was in on that, but I doubt it. There've been times when I think back and could swear I saw her somewhere. I think she started following me."
Sydney allows a sob to escape. "And Will? What about him?"
"He was in the hospital for over two months, but he's fully recovered now. Afterward, when he first woke up, he swore he saw Allison crying after she stabbed him."
"How did my dad treat you?" Sydney hopes he'll say something to give her some hint that he still cares about her, but she can't seem to get anything.
"I expected he'd treat me like it was somehow all my fault, or at least hate me forever after seeing that tape. I'll never forget how he looked at me when he left that room."
"Oh, God…" Sydney moans, recalling that tape. The night had been a wonderful memory, until they saw the tape. Seeing it was so different from living it. She studies him closely, and he looks lost in his own thoughts. She wonders if he, too, is remembering that night fondly. He wears the lopsided grin she had loved so much…but then he seems to remember where he is.
"Vaughn," she says softly, "I know you're married, and you don't have to answer this, but…did you miss me? Even when you where with Amanda?"
He starts to deny it, but she looks as if her emotional well being depends on his answer. "Syd…" He looks at her again. "Yes," he says decidedly.
Sydney opens her mouth to speak, but can't think of anything to say. Instead, she leans over and hugs him. He puts his arms loosely around her. She releases him when realizes this.
"I'm sorry," she says. "I can't handle this." She stares at the floor unable to meet his gaze.
Vaughn puts a hand under her chin and lifts her head so she looks at him. She notes the sadness and confusion and regrets betrayed by those wonderful green eyes…
Sydney pulls away. "You're married!" she cries, wondering at the same time why she throws this in his face. "You've moved on! You! Don't! Need! Me!" she screams, but it hurts like a knife being stabbed and twisted in her heart.
She moves past him to keep him from seeing the tears pouring down her cheeks. She ducks into another seat just in time to stifle a sob.
TBC
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Okay, what do you think? If I'm overdoing the dramatics, let me know. I promise there'll be stuff besides S/V arguments in the next chapter, which will be up soon since it's already written, I just have to type it! I appreciate any feed back at all, good or bad! Seriously, if you hate it, tell me what's wrong.
Disclaimer: If I owned Alias, this story would not be necessary!
OK, this is chapter 2 of my first Alias fic, and I've seen a lot of really BAD post 'The Telling' fics out there, so if mine is really bad let me know, I won't mind. I don't want to torture people by writing bad stuff!
____________________________________________________________________________________________
"No!" Sydney says, but it comes out as a hoarse whisper. He was all I had left, she thinks. To find out he's with Sloane…maybe I can't handle this. Maybe I'd have been better off in Hong Kong, remembering nothing…
With this thought she loses all control. She turns away from Vaughn and begins to sob harder than before. Vaughn puts his hands on her shoulders and she turns willingly to cry on his shoulder.
Vaughn feels guilty for two things. First, he feels terrible about what he's doing to Sydney. No matter what he says, he still loves her. But he feels that he has to be loyal to Amanda…
FLASHBACK
"Hi. I'm Amanda Lawrence. You must be Agent Vaughn." She smiles a huge, slightly nervous smile. He thinks of Sydney.
"That's me. Nice to meet you," he says gruffly, quickly shaking her outstretched hand.
Her smile fades into confusion. He feels bad about making such an impression, sure she's wondering what she did. But she's too much like Syd. Her hair is slightly longer and darker, but from a distance she could easily be mistaken for her. She has light brown eyes that are pretty, even though they don't shine like Syd's. She is a few inches shorter than Syd, he notes, thinking how she'll always fall short.
He'd asked her out about a month later. He didn't know why; he hadn't enjoyed it, though she didn't know that. They'd only been dating for four months when they became engaged. He'd been planning on asking Syd that night in Santa Barbara. He only saw Syd when he looked at Amanda, especially at night. He'd even almost called Amanda by her name once…
END FLASHBACK
Vaughn gives up for the moment and just holds Syd close, giving her the comfort she so desperately needs.
*************************************************************************************************
"Syd, wake up," she hears as someone shakes her gently, lovingly she thinks at first.
"Huh?" Sydney sits up and opens her eyes to find Vaughn standing over her with a soft smile on his lips. "Oh!"
"Syd," Vaughn says, using the nickname, "I hated to wake you, but we're about an hour out of LA, and I should explain as much of this as I can." The smile is gone.
Sydney's former look of hope falls. It was all real. "Okay," she says resignedly.
Vaughn sits down next to her. He seems more comfortable; he doesn't make a point of sitting as far from her as he can.
"If you have any questions, just ask." He pauses, thinking how to begin. "I found your house first. When you didn't answer your cell, I got worried. I knocked, but no one answered. I found Will first; he was barely alive. I called 911 and kept looking for you. When I saw Allison, it was plain she was dead. I knew you must have been there, but I couldn't find you." He pauses a moment to regain his composure before he continues. "I called your dad. I knew he'd find some way to fire me it I didn't. We were both there when a call came, two days later, from the forensics team. Jack answered the phone, but when he just stood there with a blank look on his face I took the phone. Syd, they told me that your blood was there, lots of it. They said you were dead. To be honest, I think Sloane told him he could find you alive."
"What about my mother?"
"As far as the CIA was concerned, all three of them dropped off the face of the earth after you disappeared. But all along Sloane must have been contacting Jack. It's possible your mother was in on that, but I doubt it. There've been times when I think back and could swear I saw her somewhere. I think she started following me."
Sydney allows a sob to escape. "And Will? What about him?"
"He was in the hospital for over two months, but he's fully recovered now. Afterward, when he first woke up, he swore he saw Allison crying after she stabbed him."
"How did my dad treat you?" Sydney hopes he'll say something to give her some hint that he still cares about her, but she can't seem to get anything.
"I expected he'd treat me like it was somehow all my fault, or at least hate me forever after seeing that tape. I'll never forget how he looked at me when he left that room."
"Oh, God…" Sydney moans, recalling that tape. The night had been a wonderful memory, until they saw the tape. Seeing it was so different from living it. She studies him closely, and he looks lost in his own thoughts. She wonders if he, too, is remembering that night fondly. He wears the lopsided grin she had loved so much…but then he seems to remember where he is.
"Vaughn," she says softly, "I know you're married, and you don't have to answer this, but…did you miss me? Even when you where with Amanda?"
He starts to deny it, but she looks as if her emotional well being depends on his answer. "Syd…" He looks at her again. "Yes," he says decidedly.
Sydney opens her mouth to speak, but can't think of anything to say. Instead, she leans over and hugs him. He puts his arms loosely around her. She releases him when realizes this.
"I'm sorry," she says. "I can't handle this." She stares at the floor unable to meet his gaze.
Vaughn puts a hand under her chin and lifts her head so she looks at him. She notes the sadness and confusion and regrets betrayed by those wonderful green eyes…
Sydney pulls away. "You're married!" she cries, wondering at the same time why she throws this in his face. "You've moved on! You! Don't! Need! Me!" she screams, but it hurts like a knife being stabbed and twisted in her heart.
She moves past him to keep him from seeing the tears pouring down her cheeks. She ducks into another seat just in time to stifle a sob.
TBC
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Okay, what do you think? If I'm overdoing the dramatics, let me know. I promise there'll be stuff besides S/V arguments in the next chapter, which will be up soon since it's already written, I just have to type it! I appreciate any feed back at all, good or bad! Seriously, if you hate it, tell me what's wrong.
