Mixed Emotions

Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters here. Only the following belong solely to ME: Amanda, Lizzy, Bobby, and Kassie.

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Nine days…

After nine days, Sydney has not spoken to either Amanda or Vaughn. They seem to be avoiding her as well.

Odd, though. Not that Vaughn is avoiding her she expected that. But that Amanda is. Sydney is sure Vaughn did not tell Amanda about their conversation, and she didn't say anything to her, but Amanda is clearly avoiding her. She has also seemed to be following Vaughn around, acting, in Sydney's opinion, like a lost little puppy dog.

None of them has looked into her baby any more.

She has had four more regression therapy sessions with Barnett, but Barnett refuses to take her past when they discovered her mother released her. She has focused on getting as much detail about her abduction and what they did to her, trying to determine whether they worked together.

Two days ago, Sydney got her apartment in Will's building. She has spent all her free time working on the apartment. She even forced herself to put the box back in storage and leave it alone.

Unfortunately, many of her things bring back memories of something.

The dresser with Vaughn's drawer.

The table where the picture frame he'd given her once sat.

Even a shirt she remembers wearing when she was with him.

Nearly everything reminds her of a time she spent with Vaughn.

It may not be a *good* distraction, but at least it gives her something to do with her time. Only, now she's almost completed the task.

Soon, she realizes, I'll have to talk to Vaughn again. We can't do this forever.

Will walks into her apartment a few minutes later to find her sitting on her couch staring at nothing, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Syd!" he says, surprising her.

She wipes her hand across her eyes quickly.

"Will, I didn't know you were here," she says softly, her voice trembling badly.

"Syd, I don't like you here by yourself all the time," he says, ignoring her attempt to change the subject. He sits down and puts his arm around her.

"I'm fine, Will. Really, I'm okay now," she argues, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"No, you're not. Any time you don't spent working, you spend alone. I haven't even seen you in two days," he complains.

"Will, I'm just working out a lot of stuff right now," she says, turning to face him. "I need to be alone."

"Not all the time."" Will sighs. "Look, I'm here, talk to me. Or to *someone*. Have you willingly talked to anyone lately?"

"I'm working out a lot of stuff now," she repeats. "Things *I* need to work out by myself."

"Syd, let someone help you for a change!" Will says angrily, standing up. "You can't always handle everything on your own, no matter how independent you are!"

Her eyes tear again, but she doesn't try to hide it.

"You're right," she says in a small voice. "I can't handle this on my own."

Will pulls her into a comforting hug and lets her cry.

"What's going on?" he asks when she becomes quiet.

"Everything that can possibly get messed up in my life has!" she says miserably. "I told Vaughn last week that I wanted to end everything between us! He hasn't come near me since. Amanda hasn't either, and I don't even know what I did to her, damn it!" she yells in frustration.

"Syd, you can't expect her to like you in the circumstances," Will says in an unsuccessful effort to placate her.

"But I thought we could at least be civil! She seemed so willing to help me find my baby! She was even the one that called the agency where she was left! And now she won't even look at me!" Sydney cries. "I don't expect her to like me, but now she hates me for something I don't even know about!"

"Syd, you don't know she hates you. This is hard on both of you." He hugs her. "You need to get away from all this. How about I take you out tonight? We can do what ever we feel like. Just a night away from this whole mess," he offers.

She smiles. Good old Will.

"Okay. You're right. I need to just get away for a while."

"I'll meet you out front around six?"

"Great."

They hug, and Will looks at her with concern.

"Remember, I'm just down the hall if you want to talk to somebody," he says as he leaves.

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"Michael?"

Vaughn looks up from his newspaper, looks at his wife, then sits it on the floor of their living room.

"What, Mandy?"

Amanda sits uncomfortably on the couch across from him.

"I'm leaving the CIA," she starts.

"I thought so. Kendall hasn't given you anything new past couple of days," he says warily.

"You don't care?"

"I care, I'm just not surprised," he says even more cautiously.

"I'm going to go back to college, finish my degree," she says quietly.

"And?" He senses that there's more to this that leaving the CIA. She's said that, but she's still nervous.

Confirming his suspicions, Amanda looks down at their mahogany colored rug before she looks directly at him and answers.

"I'm leaving." She shakes her head vigorously when he begins to protest. "No, don't. If I stay, then I'm being unfair to you, to Sydney, *and* to myself."

Now it's his turn to develop an interest in the rug.

"When are you leaving?" he asks finally.

"Tomorrow sometime. I have a few more days with the CIA, but I'm taking vacation time."

"Why, Amanda? Really, the complete truth," he pleads.

She sighs slowly.

"All the time we've been married, we've been *comfortable*, I think. And you want more than comfortable. So do I. I just haven't found it yet."

"Mandy…"

"I'm leaving. That's it. I don't belong here," she says apologetically.

He feels even more guilty than before, if it's possible.

"Where will you go?"

"I'll stay with my dad in Arkansas for a while. It's been two years since I've seen him, he'll be glad to have me," she says.

"I'll miss you. I will," he says honestly.

"Don't do this, Michael. Please don't. I'll call you next week sometime. I wanted to say good-bye now, in case I don't see you tomorrow," she explains.

"Good-bye, Mandy," Vaughn says softly.

"Good-bye." She kisses his cheek before going into their guest room for the night.

She turns in the doorway.

"I'm leaving LA as soon as I clear some things up with some people," she says. _____________________________________________________________________________________

Ooooh! Well, isn't that interesting! I do want to make Amanda the likeable person you have to hate. And does anyone else want to see Will any Syd together for a while? I think it would be so cute, but of course it can't last…

Please review! I love any feedback, good or bad!