Chapter 5: Getting Even
The next day, Lily woke up feeling happier than she remembered. It was still early, but she got out of bed and prepared for school. By the time she finished showering and dressing up in her school clothes, the other girls were already up.
"'Morning, Lily," Celeste greeted as she passed the redhead and headed for the bathroom.
"Have you seen Chase?" Lily asked before Celeste could shut the door.
Celeste stifled a yawn. "Down in the Great Hall already, I think."
"Thanks," Lily said, grabbing her book bag before heading off for the Great Hall.
As Celeste said, Chase was already there, tipping bacon and eggs onto her plate and looking half asleep.
"Hey," Chase said as Lily slid into the seat next to her. She handed Lily a roll of parchment. "Here it is. Took me all afternoon in the library to look it up."
Lily scanned the parchment with her eyes and grinned. "This is perfect. Thanks, Chase!"
Chase shrugged, as if saying it was no big deal. "What do you need it for, anyway? We're not gonna learn how to do those charms until… well, I don't suppose we're going to be taught that at all…"
At that same moment there was laughter all around the Great Hall, and the two girls swiveled around to see the object of amusement—the Slytherins, who all looked like they had aged fifty years as soon as they sat down on their chairs. Lily looked in the opposite direction at the entrance of the Great Hall, and sure enough, there were the marauders, laughing the hardest as they made their way to their seats at the Gryffindor table.
"Ah. I think I know the answer to my question already," Chase said dryly. "Want to get even with them, huh?"
Lily nodded.
Chase smirked. "Well, count me in. You can't do all the work yourself, besides; those spells are really complex, it'd be better if you had a helping hand."
"You sure? I mean, you don't have anything to do with it, and you might get in trouble too if they found out I did it," Lily pointed out, though she was surprised and relieved that Chase wanted to help her.
"I don't care. They should get a taste of their own medicine, and this way, they'll learn not to mess with you. Anyway, they work in a group, so why shouldn't you?"
Lily smiled. "I guess you're right. So, here's what we're going to do…"
*****
Their first class for the day, Transfiguration, was pretty normal (as normal as it got in a class with the marauders, anyway), except for the part where Sirius' newly transfigured ceramic cup splashed boiling tea all over Professor McGonagall, seeing as the cup still had the tail and legs of a rabbit and jumped up onto her table. Sirius got detention, but for the rest of the class the accident was a blessing in disguise because McGonagall commented that transfiguring animals into inanimate objects was too much for first years to handle, and their workload in that particular class lessened.
"I still don't see why she should punish me after I just proved that her lessons were too much to handle for us," Sirius said grumpily as the marauders shuffled out of the Transfiguration classroom.
James rolled his eyes. He was the only student who transfigured his rabbit into a satisfactory and completely non-living teacup. "You were perfectly capable of transfiguring the rabbit. You just scammed that whole 'accident' so that McGonagall wouldn't give us as much homework as usual."
"I did no such thing! You're just annoyed that you won't get to show off what you can do in class if she gave us more advanced stuff to do, Mister I'm-a-Transfiguration-hot-shot!" Sirius retorted.
"Yeah, right! As if there's somebody I want to impress in her class, it's just us and a bunch of ugly girls!" James countered. Celeste, who was walking by, glared at him.
"Sure there is, there's McGonagall herself, you wanna be the teacher's pet!" Sirius shot back, grinning.
Remus sighed. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why the two of them bickered like that every hour just to annoy each other and stay best friends all the same. "Guys, if you keep arguing like that we're going to be late for Herbology…"
"I do not aspire to be McGonagall's perfect little student, nor do I wish to play a permanent servant during class or be a butt-kissing suck-up for any professor!" James said to Sirius, completely ignoring Remus.
Sirius just shook his head and said in a teasing tone, "Sure, Jamie, sure…"
"At least I don't try to scald the teachers to death because of being too lazy to do any challenging work in class," retaliated James.
"Interesting. So that's what your motives were," somebody spoke up behind the three of them. Chase and Lily didn't look too keen to get to Herbology class early either.
Lily shook her head. "And there was me thinking that you just wanted to distract her so that you could pull another prank in class," she remarked. She brushed past them and broke into a jog with Chase strolling just behind her, slowly enough not to walk beside Lily in the narrow corridor but fast enough to put a good distance between her and the marauders.
"D'you think they're still mad?" James spoke up when they were nearly at the greenhouse. He hadn't realized that they had fallen silent after the two girls left.
Remus shrugged. "Dunno. Probably, I think. I'm just wondering 'cause if they were, they wouldn't act civil with the two of you, let alone talk to you at all."
"The two of us?" Sirius raised his eyebrows. "What about you? You don't think they're angry with you at all?" he demanded.
Remus merely shrugged again and pushed open the door to Greenhouse One, muttering an apology to Professor Sprout, who looked a bit irritated at the trio's tardiness.
"Maybe they're not mad anymore. You already apologized, right?" James persisted as they caught up with Remus at their usual table.
"Well, I think they're plotting something," Sirius declared. "There's no way that girls act friendly right after something that we do to annoy them. Unless it's really just acting."
"You're too paranoid, my friend," Remus said, putting on his dragon hide gloves and gingerly touching the plant on their table, which looked more like several branching stems spilling with hundreds of green caterpillars than a shrub with leaves.
*****
Another week passed without event, and Sirius' suspicions of Lily plotting something against them finally died down. Currently they were stuck with a long History of Magic assignment on how primeval wizards invented the first wand.
Peter, finished with the two-foot-long essay, hovered over his friends who were seated in chairs in the common room.
"Wipe that smile off your face, you gloating git," Sirius growled in annoyance as Peter skipped past him yet again. He was a little short tempered as his essay was still four inches too short even though he had pretty much covered the whole topic.
"Done!" Both James and Remus shouted gleefully at the same time, and they laughed and high-fived each other. This, of course, only made Sirius moodier.
"What are you two so happy about, it's just a dumb essay," Sirius muttered, and, much to his irritation, his friends only laughed more and started packing up their things.
"Good luck with those remaining four inches, Sirius," James singsonged before the three of them went up to the boys' dormitory.
"Yeah, yeah, abandon me, will you," Sirius said grumpily, even though he knew his friends were out of earshot. He was contemplating on what to add to his homework when he heard a sudden commotion by the entrance to the common room. People were crowding around in that area, as if someone who just entered caught their attention.
He tried to focus on his essay, wanting to get it over and done with, but he kept hearing snatches of conversation such as "What happened to her?" "Is she all right?" "Did somebody hex her?" and "Poor thing." Sighing and realizing that he couldn't concentrate with the noise all around him, he stood up and went to see what the fuss was about.
What he saw was the crowd parting to let whoever they were talking about through, and Sirius was surprised to see Lily and Chase behind Celeste, who was asleep, levitated, and looking like she was having some sort of nightmare. She kept twitching and mumbling incoherent words, occasionally making a choking sound, as if she were trying not to scream.
"Everything's fine; we've got it all under control," Chase kept saying to the other Gryffindors. She seemed a bit impatient with their curiosity and waved her wand, making Celeste float forward slightly faster.
Lily didn't look too tolerant with all their questions herself. "No, she doesn't need to go to the hospital wing… We know just the right spell to cure her." They managed to shake off the inquisitive crowd and rushed to the staircase leading to the girls' dorm.
"Are you sure she's going to be OK?" Sirius heard Lily mutter to Chase. In their distraction, they didn't seem to notice him three feet away from them.
Chase nodded. "Of course she will be. She volunteered for it in the first place, remember? And she's only been for a couple of minutes… I think you've got the hang of it, and the counter spell is a piece of cake."
Sirius continued to watch them until they disappeared up the stairs. "Wonder what they're up to," he said to himself, but didn't ponder on their weird conversation as he still had four more inches of parchment to fill up.
*****
It was Saturday morning. Lily bounced into the Great Hall with a grin on her face that the other students didn't take notice of, as they were all still a bit drowsy. She slid into the seat across Chase and beside Celeste.
"You're a right ray of sunshine today," Celeste commented as she tipped a bagel onto her plate. Her features showed no sign of concern over what had happened to her the night before, but now that Lily had joined the two of them, the other Gryffindors remembered the incident and started talking in low tones.
"No wonder. Today's the day she's going to get back at the Two Terrors of Gryffindor Tower." Chase stirred her porridge around with a spoon.
"What a creative title," Celeste mock-complimented, rolling her eyes.
"Are you fine now? I mean, after what happened yesterday?" Lily asked in a concerned tone.
Celeste waved her hand dismissively. "Yep. No need to worry about me."
"Yeah right. After we cast the counter spell on you and you fell asleep again, I heard you saying something about the horrors of getting an eight in a ten-item quiz," Chase snickered.
Celeste scowled. "It's not my fault that charm had recurring effects after it's been lifted," she protested.
"Uh-huh…and you just don't want to admit that you're a paranoid perfectionist."
Lily shushed the bickering twins and tilted her head to the entrance of the Hall. Several people sitting near there had gone quiet, and the echoing sound of panicked screams could be heard.
Next thing they knew, two dark-haired boys were running through the tables, knocking some walking students down or accidentally shoving others' faces smack in the middle of their porridge as they pushed past. The pair of first years, who were unmistakably recognized as James Potter and Sirius Black, had identical expressions of panic and fear on their faces, and they kept babbling loudly about something that Lily and her friends couldn't hear as they were too far away, though they could tell that the two looked ridiculous. People who could understand what the distressed duo were saying suddenly burst into laughter or snickered amusedly.
James and Sirius were apparently heading for the High Table. Most of their teachers stood up in curiosity and concern; no wonder, because the two boys looked like they had lost their marbles. Lily, who was chuckling at the sudden change in their behavior, shakily reached for her wand and pointed it at Sirius and James. "S-s-sono—HAHAHAHAHA—ru-ru-HAHAHA—rus!"
"You can't do it like that, you're laughing your head off," Celeste managed to say to Lily crossly, though how she could use that tone while laughing herself was a mystery. "Sono—" Sirius suddenly burst into tears while screaming in a high-pitched voice, and Celeste laughed hysterically. "Sono—heehee—sono—"
"Oh for Merlin's sake," Chase said, trying to contain her laughter, "Sonorus!" She finally did what Lily and Celeste in their hilarious fit could not, and the spell hit James and Sirius on the mark.
"NOOOO!!! MUMMY, MY HAIR, THEY CAN'T DO THIS!!!" Sirius wailed, running straight at McGonagall and glomping her, sobbing.
No Voice-Magnifying spell was required to raise McGonagall's voice, as she was already yelling at the top of her lungs. "BLACK, LET GO OF ME THIS INSTANT!!!!!!!"
"THEY'RE-THEY'RE G-GONNA EAT ME!!! THAT B-BIG RED B-B-B-BALL'S GONNA HAVE ME FOR BREAKFAST!!! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!" James yelled in a terrified voice, following Sirius and clutching McGonagall's arm.
Most students who were bewildered at their antics started to chuckle now that they could clearly hear James and Sirius, thanks to Chase. Whatever state that the two of them were in, they didn't appear to be aware of the gales of laughter erupting all around the Hall.
"STOP BLUBBERING NONSENSE, POTTER, AND BLACK, I AM NOT YOUR MUM!!!" McGonagall shrieked, trying vainly to release herself from James's and Sirius' death grips. Her outburst only caused the students to laugh more, and their giggles echoed and bounced off the walls.
Even the staff was too entertained to be of any help to poor Professor McGonagall. Professor Flitwick was giggling so hard he toppled off the three copies of Hogwarts, a History that he stacked on the seat of his chair. Professor Sprout was choking on her bacon because of laughing. Dumbledore and the other teachers were all sniggering heartily, and even Professor Ridgewood's mouth twitched in obvious amusement, of course, it was partly because James and Sirius were the students he hated the most and he took joy in any event where they were ridiculed and laughed at, which never seemed to happen. Until now.
"CEASE THIS AT ONCE! IF YOU THINK THAT THIS SICK JOKE OF YOURS IS HIGHLY AMUSING, I WILL GIVE YOU TWICE THE NUMBER OF DETENTIONS YOU HAVE ACCUMULATED THIS WEEK!!!"
"BUT MUM, THEY'RE TRYING TO DYE MY HAIR P-P-PINK!!! THIS IS IN-INJUSTICE!!! YOU CAN'T LET THEM DO THIS TO ME, YOU CAN'T!!!" Sirius screamed, letting go of McGonagall only briefly to clutch his perfect hair.
"NOBODY IS EVILLY PLOTTING TO DYE YOUR HAIR! AND DON'T YOU YELL AT ME, ESPECIALLY ABOUT ABSURD THINGS THAT YOU OBVIOUSLY BLURT OUT BEFORE THINKING!!!" McGonagall screamed.
Lily rolled around on the floor, banging her fists and practically crying with mirth. Both students' and staff's laughter reached a decibel so high it could probably be heard all the way at Trelawney's classroom.
"They're—HAHAHAHAHA—acting like lunatics—HAHAHA—who're trying to converse—HAHAHAHA—from different mountains! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Lily chortled.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're just about ready to hit the loony bin yourself," Chase stated. She had stopped laughing, but only because she'd suffocate if she kept on.
"AAAARGGGHHH!!! THEY'RE GANGING UP ON ME!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE YET!!! I DON'T TASTE GOOD!!! DON'T EAT ME!!!" James hollered, and at the same time McGonagall shouted, "FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN, SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE BREAKING MY EARDRUMS!!! IT'S NOT FUNNY, DUMBLEDORE!!!" This caused Chase to start laughing again, and she and Celeste leaned against each other for support; Celeste wiping off the tears streaming down her cheeks with the back of her hand, and Chase clutching her aching stomach.
"Think we should put the counter curse on them now?" Chase managed to choke out to Lily, who was still sprawled on the floor.
Lily stood up, still shaking, just as James yelled "I'LL NEVER PLAY QUIDDITCH AGAIN!!! JUST DON'T EAT ME!!!" She collapsed into her chair. "I don't know," she said breathlessly, "let's just wait a little bit more."
After what seemed like forever, in which James, Sirius and Professor McGonagall yelled themselves hoarse some more (Lily doubted they could understand what the others were saying at that point), Dumbledore stood up. His ever-twinkling eyes shining in merriment, he spoke, "It is in my opinion that we have all been entertained enough; now, I beg whoever thought it humorous to perform a Confundus Charm on Misters Black and Potter to please stand and remedy them. Please don't hesitate if you have fears of being punished, I merely ask you to return them to their proper state, besides, dear Minerva seems to be quite distressed."
The Hall suddenly fell silent, with only the two pranksters and McGonagall left shouting, and all laughter died down as everybody looked around to see who dared do this to the ever-so-popular Potter and Black. Without hesitation, Lily and Chase stood up, and for the first time all day a hint of nervousness passed Celeste's face as the two made their way to the High Table.
Dumbledore nodded to them. Lily and Chase raised wands simultaneously and each uttered a different spell.
"Deplexio," Lily said clearly, while Chase recited, "Sieszenundum Eranence." At once, the deranged expressions of James and Sirius changed into their usual complacent countenance, but their faces turned to confusion again as they realized that they were still clutching onto McGonagall like little kids who had just found their mother after an hour of being lost in the supermarket.
As the students and staff watched their reactions, they all started to snigger once again, and even more so when James and Sirius jumped away from the purple-faced Professor McGonagall with "What the hell?" written all over their rapidly reddening faces.
Lily and Chase, who were quite done laughing and believed that they had humiliated the two boys enough, high-fived each other.
"Mission complete…" Lily started with a big grin.
"…with the results a complete success," Chase finished, smirking.
Dumbledore clapped his hands and the laughter subsided. "Excellent work, Miss Evans, Miss Tarlise. Since nobody seems to have been hurt or injured in any way, with the exception of temporary deafness, you will not be punished. It is Saturday morning, after all, and nobody has been disturbed. Off you go then, finish your breakfast, and bring Misters Potter and Black with you, as I believe they are eager for an explanation of this day's events."
McGonagall couldn't hear a word of what the Headmaster said thanks to James and Sirius, but she seemed to understand that Lily and Chase were responsible and they were getting off without punishment. She opened her mouth furiously but no words came out, and she remembered that she had yelled herself hoarse and she lost her voice to it. So now she was forced to do nothing and spend the rest of the weekend suffering under momentary deafness and muteness.
Lily clapped James and Sirius on the back before she went past them back to the Gryffindor Table. "Now we're even," she told them brightly.
And for once in their lives, the two troublemakers couldn't find a suitable retort to her remark, and were speechless.
*****
A/N – This chapter is more than four months late, and I doubt that anybody's still reading this fic…but if you are, then give me some feedback! (In review form, of course…) It's not that I lost inspiration, but I put this story on hold so that I could finish Out of Her Shell first. I've been getting more response from that fic so it only made sense to update that first… I guess I'm not good at juggling three fics at once. Sorry for the inconvenience.
