Atop the Popularity Scale
By Dimantrien
Chapter 6: On Top…Finally
Remus Lupin stared at his two friends as he ate his breakfast, still slightly inclined to laugh. The shocked look on their faces seemed to him to be permanently stuck. Sirius' mouth had dropped open ten minutes ago and still hadn't closed, and the embarrassed flush on James's face hadn't lightened once. He bit his tongue to keep from guffawing out loud and spraying his dazed friends with bits of egg and ham. "Sirius, close your mouth if you don't want a fly to swoop right in; it wouldn't make a very tasty breakfast. James, put powder on your face if you can't control your blood vessels," he ordered, smiling. At least it wasn't a laugh.
Sirius alternately closed and opened his mouth again, looking like a demented fish. Finally he turned his attention to his friend and exclaimed, "How did they do that?! They'll pay for this right now!!!"
Sighing, Remus pointed out the veritable facts that obviously didn't register into Sirius' brain as it was still clouded with confusion and lunacy. "Sirius, I believe that they used magic to do that; you shouldn't pay them back because they did that to pay you back, and even if you wanted to do so immediately, you can't do it right now because they left five minutes ago," he replied, saying the words slowly as if explaining a complicated answer to a small child.
"What did we do to make them want to pay us back?" James asked, snapping out of his stupor too.
Remus shook his head. "Merlin, where are your brains today? Have you forgotten all about Sirius' singing solo in the middle of the Charms corridor a few days ago?"
"Oh, that," James said, understanding dawning on his face. Then he frowned. "Hey! You were there with us—how come they didn't pull the prank on you?!" he demanded, looking thoroughly disturbed that Remus didn't get his "fair share" of chastisement.
Sirius' eyes widened, very much like the expression on his face a few minutes ago, except his mouth wasn't hanging open this time. He didn't say anything for a moment then burst out, "NO FAIR!!!"
"Well, that reaction was rather slow on the uptake," Remus quipped. Sirius shot him a look.
"This is injustice! We'll be humiliated for the rest of our school year because of this, and one of our cohorts gets off scot-free and has the privilege of making fun of us and reminding us of that horrible incident time and time again!!!" Sirius put his head in his hands and moaned.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Stop being so overdramatic. You're not going to be harassed until the end of the school year just because of this," he assured.
Sirius brightened. "You mean it'll die out tomorrow."
"I didn't say that. Judging from your and James's popularity, the school will be talking about it for weeks, and it's extremely probable that all the Slytherins will enjoy torturing you and doing animated replays in imitation of what you two kept babbling about, or the part where you kept clinging to McGonagall," Remus answered matter-of-factly, grinning at the mental image.
"Well, that was reassuring," Sirius said with a scowl, standing up. "I'm going back to bed and pretend this is just a bad dream. If I'm lucky I won't wake up again," he announced, walking quickly out of the Hall. Whispers followed him from the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, while, as Remus predicted, the Slytherins burst into laughter once again and started reciting the stuff he kept screaming about his hair going pink, with perfect intonation. Luckily Sirius was quite fast, and long gone before Severus Snape could mimic his vain whining.
Remus and James followed after a few minutes, and passed by the Slytherin Table, where Snape was still play-acting.
"Oh, my hair, they have no right to turn it pink!" Snape mocked, pretending to wring his hands in front of his friends. They sniggered almost imperceptibly.
"Wish they would, if you dyed it, you'd be lucky it wouldn't look as greasy and dirty as it is now," Remus snapped scathingly at him. Even though Remus would tease Sirius about all this later on, he didn't like it when the Slytherins mocked it the way they did. At least he was Sirius' friend, so he had somewhat of a right to joke about it, but slime like Snape made it worse by putting malice into it.
"I doubt that, but why don't we try it out? Don't worry, Severus, we'll make sure to put 'dye Snape's hair pink' on top of our priority list, if it will be oh so beneficial to that disaster case you call hair that you wear on your oversized head," James said.
Snape narrowed his eyes. "You should talk, Potter," he spat with a malicious smile. "Apparently a good dose of public humiliation isn't enough to even slightly shrink your over-inflated ego."
James just smirked at him, showing him that he wasn't affected in the slightest. "I wouldn't call it ego, slimeball," he retorted. "It's called defiance." And with that, he and Remus sauntered out of the Hall, some students even stopping their grinning and staring in awe at the boldness of James Potter.
*****
Sitting in the deserted common room, Lily, Chase and Celeste started doing their Transfiguration homework in front of the fire. Lily was quiet, the quill in her hand flying across the parchment and onto the next line ever so quickly, which greatly annoyed Chase, who apparently hated Transfiguration and sucked at it. Celeste didn't make matters better by alternately giving "tips" to Chase and scolding her about slacking off, making a very distinct imitation of a certain Transfiguration teacher.
Chase tuned out of her twin's rants, which she dubbed as "The Dreaded Litany of Transfiguration and Responsibility by Celeste Schoharie." She mumbled things like "Uh-huh," "Right," and "Gotcha, sis" every few minutes without taking in a single word, tapping the feather end of her quill on her blank parchment and yawning.
The three were in such an undisturbed mood that they jumped up, startled, when somebody went through the portrait hole and stomped into the room. Lily looked up from her assignment, Chase glanced at the new arrival in hopes of getting away from her sister's dragging reprimands, and Celeste stopped talking.
Sirius Black walked in the direction of the dorms, muttering and cursing all the way. He hadn't noticed them yet because he was staring at the floor and kicking the carpet every few moments.
A grin broke out on Lily's face as she assumed what exactly had Sirius in a foul mood, and she opened her mouth to call out to him. Celeste put a hand on her shoulder and shook her head, silently saying "Don't start now."
"Yo, Sirius," Chase greeted, and Sirius stopped walking to turn in their direction.
His eyes narrowed and there was a tinge of red on his cheeks, but he didn't move nor say hi back.
"Take a seat, you don't want to stand there like a stationary idiot all day," Chase added sardonically, patting the arm of the armchair next to hers. Sirius mutely followed, plopping down on the chair, still at a loss for words.
Celeste stood up and excused herself, thinking that this was a matter between her friends and Sirius' friends. She was just their test dummy, and she didn't fancy being caught in the crossfire of curses when things got ugly. She wisely said "See you three later," and hurried off to their dorm room.
"So," Lily said casually, dropping her quill and facing him. (She had finished her essay anyway.)
"So." Sirius' voice was flat, and he had a look in his eyes that implied that he'd rather be anywhere else other than here, but he had his pride, and he wasn't going to let them know that their "payback" had gotten to him.
"So…" Chase echoed them, tapping her quill again on her very neat and very wordless parchment impatiently. "So what?"
Lily cracked a smile at her friend's remark. The thing was, she wasn't really in the mood to poke fun at Sirius right now; in fact, she had never intentionally poked fun at anybody before, because she had always been the one being teased. "Having a good day?" she said slightly amusedly, though of course, it was a normal question.
Sirius snorted. "Lovely, actually," he responded sarcastically, a bite in his tone.
Chase smirked. "Is that so? Wouldn't it be nice to have other days like this?" she asked innocently, but her dancing turquoise eyes gave her away. Lily shot her a look that Sirius didn't see, and Chase just shrugged.
Obviously, Sirius wasn't that stupid, and caught right on. "I don't think so." He alternately clenched and unclenched his fists.
"Why not?" Chase rolled up her piece of parchment and stuck it back into her bag. "You just said it was a lovely day."
Sirius crossed his arms. "You're the sarcastic cynic, Chase. If you don't get what that really meant then you'd be a hypocrite."
Chase smiled wryly. "A hypocrite is someone who claims to have higher beliefs or standards than is the case. I think a better example would be a troublemaker who enjoys pulling pranks on people but gets all angry and accusatory when he's the one who's subjected to a practical joke."
Sirius was silent.
"But I'm sure you're not at all like that. Like Dumbledore said, it was just a little harmless prank, wasn't it?" Chase continued.
"Yeah. You're Sirius Black, the guy who never takes anything seriously. No pun intended," Lily added, still smiling.
Chase glanced back at her parchment. "If that's all cleared up, I'd like to be getting back on this stupid essay now." She paused. "I can't believe I just said I'd like to finish it."
Lily laughed. "You mean start it," she pointed out. "There isn't a single word on that!"
Chase scowled at her and scrawled something at the top. "That's something."
It read, Chase Selene Tarlise, First Year, Gryffindor. "I was thinking about something related to Transfiguration, actually," Lily said sardonically.
"It is related to Transfiguration. I'm a student, which means I take Transfiguration. First years have basic Transfiguration lessons. Gryffindor House's Head is the Transfiguration teacher," Chase replied smugly.
Lily rolled her eyes. "You seemed to have put a lot of thought in making up your excuses."
"Of course I do. I have a twin who's a school freak and acts like she's my substitute mom when I'm not doing my homework right. I have a lot of practice," Chase said mock-solemnly. A muffled voice from above them said, "I heard that!" Both Chase and Lily snickered.
From the portrait hole emerged two more people, and only Sirius turned to check who they were. He was still a bit paranoid after the prank, after all.
Remus and James were walking toward them, both looking surprised that Sirius was sitting just two feet from Lily and Chase, and more surprised that the three in question weren't currently hurling curses at each other.
"Hi, guys," Remus greeted.
"Hello Remus," Lily greeted back. "And James," she added as an afterthought.
"Same here," said Chase.
"How'd you calm Sirius?" James suddenly asked.
Lily looked at him blankly. "Pardon?"
"Oh, it was easy. All we needed to do was inadvertently tell him that he doesn't have the right to be mad about what we did when he must have committed things with the same general motive about three dozen times so far in the school year," Chase answered carelessly.
James raised his eyebrows. "General motive?"
"Causing trouble for entertainment purposes," Chase responded, smiling in a gratified manner. "Isn't that what you and your friends always aim for?"
"Oh. Yeah," James muttered, glancing sidelong at Sirius.
Remus stepped forward with a slight smile playing about his lips. "I think everyone already agrees that there's no reason to hold a grudge against each other anymore so maybe it's about time that you all shake hands on things then we can go outside and do what normal people do on a sunny Saturday morning, which certainly doesn't include sitting around in armchairs in front of a stifling fire."
Everybody nodded and Chase, ever the blunt one, said, "Remus, you're babbling. Did you realize that your entire summation consisted of only one sentence?" Remus scowled at her, which caused the others to laugh.
Sirius stood up. "Yeah…I guess you're right. Sorry, Lils, Chase, I didn't mean to blow up on you two," he said, emphasizing his sincerity in his apology by slinging either of his arms on their shoulders.
Chase shrugged and carefully eased Sirius' arm from her shoulder.
"No problem," Lily replied with a grin as she felt Sirius' arm relax. She turned to look at James. "So, do you really have nightmares about the Quidditch balls eating you alive?"
*****
Sirius kept a tight hold on Lily's shoulder as they exited the Gryffindor Tower, clearly accepting the retribution but still intent on finding out how the two girls could accomplish pulling a revenge act on him and James right under the marauders' noses. Not to mention exactly what they did to make two fearless Gryffindors act like wimpy pansies in front of the whole student body. Naturally, for his curiosity to be fully satisfied, he had to drag the partners in crime along with him and his friends.
"OW! Damnit, Sirius, do you have leech blood in your veins? Detach yourself from my person this instant!" Lily screamed at him, startling several passers-by.
"Aw, don't worry Lils, if I were a leech I'd suck your blood outta you, and frankly, I don't feel like playing Dracula right now…or ever," Sirius added, shuddering slightly. Lily took the opportunity to pry herself out of Sirius' arm lock. She rubbed at her now sore neck.
"Gah…you were practically choking me. Do you do this to all the people you want to leak information out of?" Lily whined. She and Sirius were in the lead, with Remus, James and Chase strolling behind them. They seemed to be enjoying the free show.
"I wouldn't say he does it to all of them, Lily," Chase said matter-of-factly. "After all, he didn't strangle me." She grinned at her grimacing friend.
"Oh, ha ha, you're hilarious, Tarlise," Lily said sarcastically, still massaging her neck muscles.
"Glad to be of some service in providing comic relief," Chase said mock-pleasingly.
They reached the grounds and followed Sirius, who was heading for the lake. Or the solid ground beside the lake, more appropriately.
Sirius plopped down on the slightly damp grass Indian-style. "There!" he exclaimed. "Now that we're all cozy and warm, we can say whatever needs to be said."
Chase raised her eyebrows. "Sirius, it started drizzling two minutes ago, so I'd hardly think that we're cozy and warm, and the only thing that needs to be said is that you are a complete lunatic for dragging us out here with minor physical injury on one of our companions' part all for the sake of embarrassing yourself more by asking us to relive your humiliating but highly entertaining moment."
Sirius pretended to glare at her. "You're just like my friends, making wiseass cracks about my sanity—"
"Or lack thereof," James interjected with a snigger.
"—every chance they get, 24/7," Sirius continued, ignoring his best friend's remark.
"I wonder why," Chase said, rolling her eyes. "Fine, if you really are a nut case, then I guess there's no harm in making you suffer even more, and getting your willing consent to do so." She sat down on the grass next to him and the others followed suit.
"So, where should we start?" Lily asked, her mouth forming a grin again. She couldn't believe that Sirius Black was practically begging them to explain how exactly she and Chase pulled off their set-up emotional debacle in front of hundreds of students. Considering said students' quantity, she figured any normal human being who had gone through that much embarrassment would try anything and everything to pretend that it never happened.
But of course, nobody said that Sirius Black was normal. Not even by wizarding standards.
"How the hell you managed to pull off a prank like that without us even expecting it," Sirius promptly answered.
Lily and Chase exchanged glances. "We-ell… it was pretty easy to make you lose suspicion if we waited a week before executing the plan," Lily said slowly.
"And simultaneously we could practice the spells we were going to use since they were a little harder to cast than we realized," Chase supplied.
"Chase did the researching…"
"Lily supervised the charm sessions…"
"Chase found us the perfect guinea pig…"
"So that's why Celeste looked like she'd been hexed yesterday!" Sirius interjected, looking put out by the fact that he hadn't figured out the dead giveaway that had been right in his face.
"Yeah, and you sure predicted what would happen to you and James by just gawking at us last night along with the rest of the common room's occupants," Chase quipped.
Sirius scowled. She didn't have to put it in actual words. "Sure, sure… That explains the no-suspecting-marauders part… What about the actual spells you used?" he asked, pointedly looking at Chase.
Chase shrugged. "I looked all of it up, but spells are basically Lily's department. She'll give you a lecture as detailed as any Hogwarts teacher could."
"Yes, enlighten us, Professor Evans," Remus said, appearing thoroughly amused at this whole spilling-the-beans conversation.
"Don't call me that," Lily said irritably, but nonetheless she did as she was told. "It was simple, really—" Chase snorted derisively at this comment "First I cast a Dream Charm on James and Sirius when you all were fast asleep in your dormitory, then Chase put a little twist in it so that their dreams would be transformed into nightmares…then we finished it off by performing a simple Confundus Charm that would activate once they woke up."
Comprehension dawned in James's eyes. "Sirius and I are the heaviest sleepers in the first year boys' dormitory, so you knew that nobody would be around when the charm kicked in to help us or at least run to a teacher," he said.
"Exactly," Chase agreed. "Your wake-up time is simultaneous with the students eating halfway through their breakfast, so it also guarantees the complete presence of the whole student body and faculty who witnessed the prank."
Sirius shook his head. "You really took time to plan this all out, didn't you?" he said disbelievingly.
"Of course. Pulling a prank on the school pranksters has to be foolproof for it to be any good," Lily told him smugly. "And with such a grand finale as that pose you two had with Professor McGonagall in front of the High Table with the whole school looking on, I'd say it got excellent marks."
Chase stood up. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. Celeste should be finished developing those pictures right about now."
Sirius looked up at her quizzically. "Pictures? What pictures?"
Chase grinned at him. "The ones she took of you two clutching McGonagall, yelling, crying, and looking like you were just about ready to pee in your pants…" She turned and sprinted away, just as Sirius was scrambling to stand up and run after her.
"HEY!!! Come back here! Tell me where those photos are!!!" Sirius was heard screaming after her as the two of them tore across the grounds.
The last thing the three remaining first years by the lake heard was Chase's fading laugh and Sirius' yells.
Remus and Lily watched with identical grins as their friends disappeared into the castle. James sighed, and Lily turned to look at him.
"What's up with you? Or down with you, as the case may be," Lily added, smiling slightly.
"Pretty much everybody knows you were the one who did that to us, huh?" James said.
Lily raised her eyebrows at him. "Yep."
"Well, Lily Evans, let me just say this. Welcome to popularity."
*****
And popularity it was. Everybody was so impressed with the famous school pranksters being pranked that Lily's reputation rose from a nobody to a funny and down-to-earth Charms genius who managed her mischief well and was praised for it. And the bonus was, she got to hang out with the very troublemakers she had paid back with a brilliant practical joke. As Sirius said, she was "a valuable asset to a group of magical mischief makers striving to liven up the many boring school days to come."
She still couldn't figure out why the social ladder was like that—one day you're acknowledged as a geek, next moment you're known as one of the most popular kids in your year. She didn't know why it was that people quickly change their minds about you once you had done something they didn't expect you to.
Still, Lily knew better than to follow the crowd just for the sake of fame, and she knew that among the many faces who either admired or despised her, there were only a few that mattered, and had in fact been obtained along the road to her popularity: her friends.
~EnD mEmOrY sEqUeNcE… bAcK 2 pReSeNt, 6Th MwPp YeAr~
"Well, that about wraps it up, everybody. Thanks for all your input. Speaking of which, you've been rather quiet this meeting, Lils… Lily? Lily!"
Sixteen-year-old Lily snapped out of her trip-down-memory-lane thoughts and turned her head to the source of the voice—James Potter. "Um…what?"
Chase waved her hand dismissively. "Never mind it, James, Lily's head was just up in the clouds again. Probably worrying about how this meeting messed up her pre-N.E.W.T.s study schedule. You know how frenzied she gets when she's only got…half of this school year and the whole of seventh year to read and analyze every wizarding school book known to man."
Lily whacked her friend on the arm. "I am not that bad," she protested.
"You're right. I forgot, I should've reserved that line for Celeste…"
This comment in turn earned Chase a slap on the shoulder by her twin, and what followed was a brief sisterly debate on advanced studying versus cramming till the last minute. The marauders and Lily laughed at their antics for a while until Chase ended their banter by saying "The least you could do is stop making yourself suffer by diligently studying for the N.E.W.T.s when we're actually in the proper year for it."
"So, what were you thinking about that had you so distracted?" Peter asked Lily.
Lily grinned, glancing particularly at James and Sirius. The latter pair shifted uncomfortably in their seats as if they knew what was coming. "Oh, you know…just remembering old times… our first year in Hogwarts when we all met, in fact."
Celeste's eyes lit up, and Chase tried to suppress a snicker. "You mean the time when—"
"Gee, look at the time, we'd better get to bed, got to be all rested up tomorrow," Sirius interrupted loudly, standing up at the same time as James, who looked as eager to leave as him.
"Aw, guys, what's the rush? Tomorrow's Saturday anyway…" Remus said, an evil and very un-Remus-like smile on his lips. "Might as well let Lily explain what exact memory she was reminiscing about in full detail, just for old times' sake." He leaned forward and pulled his two friends back into their seats.
James gave him a death glare. "We have some-uh, important stuff to do tomorrow, researching spells in the library, like."
"Don't worry about that, I'll do it," Peter piped up. "You guys do all the actual work anyway, and Sirius said that researching was my job in this prank." He and Remus exchanged grins for their well-placed…assurances.
"I'll get my photo album, the one with the best pictures right smack in the middle of it," Chase volunteered, jumping up from her armchair and scurrying to the girls' dormitory, chuckling to herself.
Sirius and James squirmed in their seats, knowing very well what she meant by those "best pictures" in the heart of the album. No doubt they would be the butt of jokes tonight…
Lily smiled contentedly as Chase came back and the gang (minus James and Sirius) started animatedly recalling the tale of the Payback Prank. Their boisterous sniggers and loud comments on James' and Sirius' hilarious behavior at that particular time attracted the attention of the whole common room.
Yes, there was nothing quite like being in the position that Lily was in right now. Atop the popularity scale, with the best memories of school that she could ever remember.
ThE eNd.
A/N – Finally! I finished a fic that's less than ten chapters long! Thanks to everyone who supported this story…including those who started reading it but had forgotten it because of my terrible updating skills… -_-;; You guys are the best!
