Chapter 3
Hoggle lead them through the gardens in Jareth's backyard, and through the backdoor. They went up a few flights of stone steps and emerged into wide room. Hoggle turned to his guests and smiled.
"You will wait here, while I get Jareth." His smile faded, "But if you happen to hear yelling..I'd advise you to get out as fast as possible."
Ewan and Nicole's eyes widened.
"And, why is that?" Ewan asked, frightened.
"Oh, Jareth has an awful temper. He'll probably put you, AND me, into the bog of eternal stench." Hoggle answered, and skipped off into another room. Ewan looked at Nicole.
"Bog of Eternal Stench!?!" He mouthed. Nicole shrugged.
Hoggle was gone for about 5 minutes when a loud piercing voice broke the silence of the lambs.
(A/N: Heehee just makin' sure you're payin' attention!)
Hoggle was gone for about 5 minutes when a silky voice broke the silence of the room.
"Welcome!" It purred. Ewan and Nicole, who had been looking around the room, jumped and huddled together. They turned in the direction of where the voice had come from and watched as a tall muscular figure walked out of the room Hoggle had gone into. He was dressed in a pair of painfully tight grey spandex and a beige playwright's shirt that wasn't fastened in the front, revealing a patch of smooth bare chest. He held a riding crop in one hand and was running the other through his golden mullet-mane of hair. He smiled at them devilishly, letting them get a good glimpse of his fangs. His mismatched eyes fell upon Nicole and he let out a soft purr. She wasn't fully immune to his David Bowie-ness either; her eyes widened and her jaw hit the floor. She tugged on Ewan's shirt and hissed into his ear,
"Oh my god! He's gorgeous!" Ewan looked at her and let out a menacing guffaw. Nicole glared at him.
"What? Don't YOU think he's beautiful?"
"Nicole, Why would I?"
"Because he is, and usually when you see someone who is beautiful you know it.."
"Well, I don't usually notice guys that are beautiful."
"Wait, aren't you gay?" Nicole asked seriously. Ewan stared at her.
"You've GOT to be KIDDING! OF COURSE I'M NOT GAY!" He shouted, making her jump. She gasped and clasped a hand to her mouth. Her eyes widened to the size of pomegranates.
"You're NOT?!"
"NO!!!"
Nicole but her lip and shrugged sheepishly at him. She then focused her attention to the hunk of flaming goblin king be forth her who was now accompanied by Hoggle.
"Hi! I'm Nicole Kidman! It's a pleasure to meet you!" She walked up to him and shook his gloved hand.
"Charmed. I am Jareth, KING of the goblins. And this is.." He motioned at Ewan.
"Ewan McGregor, my co-star." Nicole answered.
"OO-Wen?" Jareth asked, wrinkling his nose. The name left a bad taste like battery acid in his mouth.
"Yes, Ewan McGregor. He's very talented." She beamed at Ewan, who rolled his eyes.
"But his name is OO-Wen?"
Nicole paused; making sure it wasn't a trick question. When she had assured herself that it wasn't, she answered,
"Y-Yes, That's his name."
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. Nicole's knees weakened and Ewan has to hold out an arm to keep her from collapsing.
"How do you spell it?" Jareth asked.
"E. W. A. N." Ewan recited, feeling ashamed of the pride that swelled in him every time he did that.
"OH!" Jareth cackled, "E-Wan! I get it! Welcome, E-Wan McGregor and Nicole Kidman!"
"No, it's really OO-Wen! I-" Ewan started, but Jareth dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand and turned to Nicole. "I am told that there has been a problem?"
"Yes, Um.... Hogwart is it?"
"Hedge-Ward." Jareth corrected.
"Helga!" Ewan insisted.
"Hoggle!" Hoggle snapped.
"Whatever." Nicole said dismissively, rolling her eyes. "He killed the green fairy."
Jareth held his chin and crinkled his eyes, trying to understand.
"Really?" He asked. Nicole nodded solemnly.
"Great!" Nicole and Ewan stared.
"What!?!" They cried.
"It's his job, you know. He kills those bloomin' bastards! He keeps my garden neat and uninfested. And, I've heard of those green fairies! Rather large are they? Rather, vicious?"
"Uh.." Ewan traied.
"Sorry I couldn't have been there when you took down that beast, Hedge Hog." Jareth said, patting his dwarf/goblin companion on the back.
"Hoggle."
"What is? Oh don't change the subject! This green fairy....very proud that you did away with it. I heard they have very high voices that hurt the ears?"
"Oh yes! Very high!" Ewan, Nicole and Hoggle replied.
"Yes, that's horrible. Every one should have nice low voice like, well like ME! Or like Men in general, right E-WAN? Anyone with a high voice should be exterminated, dumped into the bog of eternal stench! Except for Freddie Mercury because he's a brilliant man."
"Isn't he dead?" Asked Ewan.
"Shut up. That's not the point."
Nicole gasped. SHE had a high voice! She thought about 'Hindi Sad Diamonds' and cringed. Jareth would hate her forever if he found out! Jareth turned to Ewan.
"You sing like a proper man, right?" he asked, jovially patting him on the back. Ewan beamed.
"Of course I do!" He said proudly.
"Let's here it then!" Jareth stepped a side and looked at him. Ewan took a few breaths and put himself in his singing position. Nicole watched with mock interest.
"We can be heroes, forever and ever, we can be heroes forever and ever! We can be heroes just because I........will always love you, I.........can't help loving, you.." Ewan belted. When he finished he waited for Jareth's reaction. Jareth blinked and turned to Nicole.
"Do you sing with him?"
She cleared her throat, "Indeed I do."
"You lucky BITCH!!! E-WAN!!! You're AMAZING!!" Ewan smiled broadly and bobbed modestly. Nicole sulked.
"Oh, but Nicole Sings too." Ewan quipped. The color drained from her face.
"Oh, Ewan that's really not necessary!"
"Nonsense! I sang, now YOU sing! Sing.....Hindi Sad Diamonds!"
"NO!!!!!!" Nicole screamed. The guys jumped. "Sorry, I'm not really fond of that song, I'll sing..." She pondered, what song was lowest? "Oh I know!" She got into her singing position and smiled brightly, tossing her hair at Jareth.
"The French are glad to die, for love. They delight in fighting duels. But I prefer a man who lives and had expensive, Jewels." She sang, careful with how high her voice went. The room burst into applause when she finished. She took a dainty curtsy and motioned to Jareth.
"You sing now." She said. He smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was more of a smirk.
*So...how was it happy fanfic reading people? -Sorry Ewan and David, I love you!! Coming Next-Jareth gets his groove on, Hoggle gets kicked out a window looses his shoe, and we discover a horrible secret about Nicole.
Hoggle lead them through the gardens in Jareth's backyard, and through the backdoor. They went up a few flights of stone steps and emerged into wide room. Hoggle turned to his guests and smiled.
"You will wait here, while I get Jareth." His smile faded, "But if you happen to hear yelling..I'd advise you to get out as fast as possible."
Ewan and Nicole's eyes widened.
"And, why is that?" Ewan asked, frightened.
"Oh, Jareth has an awful temper. He'll probably put you, AND me, into the bog of eternal stench." Hoggle answered, and skipped off into another room. Ewan looked at Nicole.
"Bog of Eternal Stench!?!" He mouthed. Nicole shrugged.
Hoggle was gone for about 5 minutes when a loud piercing voice broke the silence of the lambs.
(A/N: Heehee just makin' sure you're payin' attention!)
Hoggle was gone for about 5 minutes when a silky voice broke the silence of the room.
"Welcome!" It purred. Ewan and Nicole, who had been looking around the room, jumped and huddled together. They turned in the direction of where the voice had come from and watched as a tall muscular figure walked out of the room Hoggle had gone into. He was dressed in a pair of painfully tight grey spandex and a beige playwright's shirt that wasn't fastened in the front, revealing a patch of smooth bare chest. He held a riding crop in one hand and was running the other through his golden mullet-mane of hair. He smiled at them devilishly, letting them get a good glimpse of his fangs. His mismatched eyes fell upon Nicole and he let out a soft purr. She wasn't fully immune to his David Bowie-ness either; her eyes widened and her jaw hit the floor. She tugged on Ewan's shirt and hissed into his ear,
"Oh my god! He's gorgeous!" Ewan looked at her and let out a menacing guffaw. Nicole glared at him.
"What? Don't YOU think he's beautiful?"
"Nicole, Why would I?"
"Because he is, and usually when you see someone who is beautiful you know it.."
"Well, I don't usually notice guys that are beautiful."
"Wait, aren't you gay?" Nicole asked seriously. Ewan stared at her.
"You've GOT to be KIDDING! OF COURSE I'M NOT GAY!" He shouted, making her jump. She gasped and clasped a hand to her mouth. Her eyes widened to the size of pomegranates.
"You're NOT?!"
"NO!!!"
Nicole but her lip and shrugged sheepishly at him. She then focused her attention to the hunk of flaming goblin king be forth her who was now accompanied by Hoggle.
"Hi! I'm Nicole Kidman! It's a pleasure to meet you!" She walked up to him and shook his gloved hand.
"Charmed. I am Jareth, KING of the goblins. And this is.." He motioned at Ewan.
"Ewan McGregor, my co-star." Nicole answered.
"OO-Wen?" Jareth asked, wrinkling his nose. The name left a bad taste like battery acid in his mouth.
"Yes, Ewan McGregor. He's very talented." She beamed at Ewan, who rolled his eyes.
"But his name is OO-Wen?"
Nicole paused; making sure it wasn't a trick question. When she had assured herself that it wasn't, she answered,
"Y-Yes, That's his name."
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. Nicole's knees weakened and Ewan has to hold out an arm to keep her from collapsing.
"How do you spell it?" Jareth asked.
"E. W. A. N." Ewan recited, feeling ashamed of the pride that swelled in him every time he did that.
"OH!" Jareth cackled, "E-Wan! I get it! Welcome, E-Wan McGregor and Nicole Kidman!"
"No, it's really OO-Wen! I-" Ewan started, but Jareth dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand and turned to Nicole. "I am told that there has been a problem?"
"Yes, Um.... Hogwart is it?"
"Hedge-Ward." Jareth corrected.
"Helga!" Ewan insisted.
"Hoggle!" Hoggle snapped.
"Whatever." Nicole said dismissively, rolling her eyes. "He killed the green fairy."
Jareth held his chin and crinkled his eyes, trying to understand.
"Really?" He asked. Nicole nodded solemnly.
"Great!" Nicole and Ewan stared.
"What!?!" They cried.
"It's his job, you know. He kills those bloomin' bastards! He keeps my garden neat and uninfested. And, I've heard of those green fairies! Rather large are they? Rather, vicious?"
"Uh.." Ewan traied.
"Sorry I couldn't have been there when you took down that beast, Hedge Hog." Jareth said, patting his dwarf/goblin companion on the back.
"Hoggle."
"What is? Oh don't change the subject! This green fairy....very proud that you did away with it. I heard they have very high voices that hurt the ears?"
"Oh yes! Very high!" Ewan, Nicole and Hoggle replied.
"Yes, that's horrible. Every one should have nice low voice like, well like ME! Or like Men in general, right E-WAN? Anyone with a high voice should be exterminated, dumped into the bog of eternal stench! Except for Freddie Mercury because he's a brilliant man."
"Isn't he dead?" Asked Ewan.
"Shut up. That's not the point."
Nicole gasped. SHE had a high voice! She thought about 'Hindi Sad Diamonds' and cringed. Jareth would hate her forever if he found out! Jareth turned to Ewan.
"You sing like a proper man, right?" he asked, jovially patting him on the back. Ewan beamed.
"Of course I do!" He said proudly.
"Let's here it then!" Jareth stepped a side and looked at him. Ewan took a few breaths and put himself in his singing position. Nicole watched with mock interest.
"We can be heroes, forever and ever, we can be heroes forever and ever! We can be heroes just because I........will always love you, I.........can't help loving, you.." Ewan belted. When he finished he waited for Jareth's reaction. Jareth blinked and turned to Nicole.
"Do you sing with him?"
She cleared her throat, "Indeed I do."
"You lucky BITCH!!! E-WAN!!! You're AMAZING!!" Ewan smiled broadly and bobbed modestly. Nicole sulked.
"Oh, but Nicole Sings too." Ewan quipped. The color drained from her face.
"Oh, Ewan that's really not necessary!"
"Nonsense! I sang, now YOU sing! Sing.....Hindi Sad Diamonds!"
"NO!!!!!!" Nicole screamed. The guys jumped. "Sorry, I'm not really fond of that song, I'll sing..." She pondered, what song was lowest? "Oh I know!" She got into her singing position and smiled brightly, tossing her hair at Jareth.
"The French are glad to die, for love. They delight in fighting duels. But I prefer a man who lives and had expensive, Jewels." She sang, careful with how high her voice went. The room burst into applause when she finished. She took a dainty curtsy and motioned to Jareth.
"You sing now." She said. He smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was more of a smirk.
*So...how was it happy fanfic reading people? -Sorry Ewan and David, I love you!! Coming Next-Jareth gets his groove on, Hoggle gets kicked out a window looses his shoe, and we discover a horrible secret about Nicole.
