Disclaimer: Still own neither movie nor show. Again, questions came from StarWarsKids.com.
(Lisa returns to the set with C3PO at her heels.)
AL: Welcome back to… "The Weakest Link"!
(The audience applauds.)
AL: As you know, Leia was voted off at the end of Round One, "Who Said It?" Now, we're moving on to Round Two!
(Applause.)
AL: Round Two is called "What Doesn't Belong?" I will list a group of people, places, or objects and you must tell me which doesn't belong. Now, there is something I must do before we start, and I advise everyone to cover their ears.
(Confused, everyone does.)
AL: (clears throat, then begins to sing) One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong. Can you tell which thing is not like the other by the time I finish my song? (makes gesture to indicate they may uncover their ears) All right! We ready to begin?
Everyone: Yeah!
AL: Charlie, you ready?
Charlie: Ready to roll!
AL: Stand by on the timer! Let's begin! We'll start with Luke because I love him.
(Audience groans while Luke chuckles embarrassedly.)
AL: Luke: Coruscant, Tatooine, Naboo, or Yoda?
Luke: Uh…Yoda?
AL: Correct! Yoda's not a planet.
Yoda: Correct, that is.
AL: Han: Lyn Me, Mas Amedda, Ann and Tann Gella, or Bib Fortuna?
Han: Bib Fortuna! Cuz I know who he is.
AL: Wrong! The answer is "Mas Amedda". He's not a Twi'lek, he's a Chagrian.
Han: Oh.
AL: Sorry. Chewie: Skiff, snowspeeder, sail bardge, or landspeeder?
Chewie: Aoooorrrrrrrarrrr.
C3PO: "Snowspeeder".
AL: Correct! All the others are sand vehicles. Lando: Dexter Jettser, Princess Leia, Senator Amidala, Orn Free Taa?
Lando: Huh…Dexter Jettser?
AL: Correct! Everyone else is a senator.
Lando: I thought everyone else was a girl.
AL: (chuckles) Lando, Orn Free Taa is a male, too.
Lando: Oh…
AL: Yoda: TC-14, R2-D2, Lobot, or Podrace cam droid.
Yoda: A droid, Lobot is not.
AL: Correct! Obi-Wan: R5 droid, GNK droid, R5-N2, or R2-D2?
Obi-Wan: GNK droid.
AL: Right! Everyone else is an astromech droid. The GNK is a power droid. Wedge: Anakin, Han, Shmi, or Luke?
Wedge: Uh…Han?
AL: Right! Everyone else is a Skywalker.
Luke: Who's Shmi?
AL: Your grandmother. Luke: Chewbacca, Wampa, Ewok, or Rancor?
Luke: Hm…the Rancor?
AL: Correct, my love! The Rancor has no fur. Han: Bantha, Tauntaun, Acklay, or Reek?
Han: Geez…Acklay?
AL: Correct! The Acklay wasn't ridden.
(The audience chuckles.)
AL: Not like that! Chewie: Mouse droid, Interrogator droid, Probot, or R2-D2?
Chewie: Grrooarr?
C3PO: "R2".
AL: Correct! The others are Imperial droids. Lando: Spear, vibro-ax, authority stick, or stone knife?
Lando: Uh…vibro-ax?
AL: Correct! The others are Ewok weapons. Yoda: Captain Panaka, Anakin, Jango Fett, or Captain Typho?
Yoda: Protector of Senator Amidala, Jango Fett is not!
AL: Yep! Obi-Wan: Obi-Wan, Yoda, Evan Piell, or Mace Windu?
Obi-Wan: Uh…Obi-Wan.
AL: Correct. Back then, Obi-Wan was not a Jedi Master. Wedge: Luke's lightsaber, Vader's lightsaber, Obi-Wan's lightsaber, or Qui-Gon's lightsaber?
Wedge: Who's Qui-Gon? Never mind. Howzabout Vader's lightsaber.
AL: Correct! All the others were Jedi.
Wedge: Wasn't Vader a Jedi?
AL: Actually, no. He was a Dark Knight. Luke: Scouttrooper, stormtrooper, Darth Vader, or snowtrooper?
Luke: Vader?
AL: Right, love. The others are all types of stormtroopers. Han: Jango Fett, Boba Fett, Taun We, or Clone Troopers?
Han: Uh…Clone Troopers?
AL: Wrong. The correct answer is "Taun We", for all the others share genetic material. Chewie: Queen Amidala, Palpatine, Jabba the Hutt, or Jar Jar Binks?
Chewie: Aooraooooooarrrrrrrrrroooarrr.
C3PO: Oh, my. "As I know only one name, I pick Jabba the Hutt."
AL: Right! Everyone else is from Naboo. Lando: Blue tunic and cape, snow suit, funky white dress-thing, or camouflage?
Lando: Blue tunic and cape! I was the only one to wear 'em!
AL: Right! All the rest were worn by Leia. Yoda: TIE Advanced, Tantive IV, Y-Wing, or X-Wing?
Yoda: Hrmm…Imperial ship, TIE Advanced is.
AL: Right. Obi-Wan: Luke, Anakin, Mace Windu, or Obi-Wan?
Obi-Wan: Master Windu.
AL: Right. He's the only Jedi Master of the bunch. Wedge: Boss Nass, Emperor's Royal Guard, Senate Guard, or Gamorrean guard?
Wedge: (takes the obvious choice) Boss Nass?
AL: Correct! The rest are guards.
Charlie: (presses button)
(End-of-Round music plays.)
AL: Whew! End of round two! It's time to vote off who you think is the weakest link.
(The contestants pick up their pens and begin writing down their vote.)
Charlie: Everyone except Han is the strongest links. They got all their questions right. Han has two wrong answers. How will the votes go?
AL: Voting over. It's time to see who you think is the weakest link.
(Dramatic music plays.)
Luke: Han.
Han: Yoda.
Chewie: Roaarrrr.
C3PO: "Han".
Lando: Yoda.
Yoda: Voted Solo off, I have.
Obi-Wan: Wedge.
Wedge: Obi-Wan.
(Dramatic music plays.)
AL: Luke, baby, why Han?
Luke: He got the most questions wrong.
(Chewie and Yoda concur.)
AL: Fair enough. Han, why Yoda?
Han: That voice is getting annoying.
(Lando agrees.)
Yoda: (growls)
AL: No fighting. Obi-Wan, why Wedge?
Obi-Wan: Same reason as last time.
AL: Okay. Wedge, why Obi-Wan?
Wedge: Because he voted for me in the last round.
AL: Well, Han, with three votes you are the weakest link! Goodbye!
(Han sighs and walks off the set.)
(Backstage:)
Han: I don't see how she expects us to answer questions about people we don't even know. And well all know Luke is going to win because the author of this thing has a crush on him. Oh, well. I'm going to raid the buffet.
(Back on set:)
AL: Two players down. Six to go. Join us for round three after the break. (runs to C3PO and grabs his arm) Let's go. (they leave the set)
Lando: Where is she taking him?
Cameraman: I think she's using him to translate in her other show.
Wedge: Hey, what's your name, anyway?
Cameraman: Who, me? Name's John. Nice to meet you.
Contestants: Likewise.
End part three.
