The Snape Show, Episode Three
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own computer faces. I do not own furbies. I do not own Goldfish. I DO own this idea.
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far!
Snape: Dun-dun-dun. Welcome to The Snape Show, the really great Snape Show, The snack that smiles back, Goldfish! Errr. I mean, Dun-dun-dun. Welcome to The Snape Show, the really great Snape Show, Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!!! Sorry 'bout that!
Audience:**sighs** He needs a better theme song.
Snape: :-P Today's contestant is. DRACO MALFOY!!!!! **cheers**
Draco: Thank you, thank you very much!!!
Audience: Yay.
Draco: -.-;;
Snape: In case you forgot, or this is your first time watching this show, which would be really stupid because this is the greatest show in the world, and this is turning into one heck of a run-on sentence, here are the rules!!!!! You will first be asked three hard questions to see if you are smart, then you will go through an obstacle course, and finally you will be asked three completely and totally insane questions! Got it?
Draco: Yep!!!!
Snape: Okay then, let's get started.
Camera Director: After a short message from our sponsors!
Commercial Person: Have you ever wondered exactly what X stood for? Were you tormented in school with hopelessly pointless math problems? Relax! There's still hope! **switches to picture of long, complicated math problem** Do you wish you had a better job, but can't do the math to get one? Never fear! SUPRA X® is here! With one simple spray, all your problems will be solved! **shows that the answer is X=4** Buy SUPRA X® today!
Camera Director: Thank you for that message! Now back to our show!
Snape: Now, first you have to answer three hard questions. Are you ready?! Draco: Yeah!
Snape: Good kid. Now, the first one is what can defeat a basilisk?
Draco: Hmmm. A rooster's call?
Snape: That's correct! You're brilliant, just brilliant!!! Now, it's the second question! Name one of the three Unforgivable Curses.
Draco: Avada Kedavra!!!
Snape: Amazing! Isn't he a genius???
Draco: ^-^ Autographs in the lobby!
Snape: o.O. Erm. Okay. So, you third question is name one of the other two Unforgivable Curses!!!
Draco: The Cruciatus Curse!!!
Snape: AMAZING!!! JUST AMAZING!!! Harry Potter would never have gotten those right.
Harry: Hey! HEY!!!!
Snape: SECURITY!!!
Harry: What? Wait! No! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Snape: Bu-bye.
Harry: EEEYYYYAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Camera Director: We'll be back after a short message from our sponsors.
Commercial Person: Goldfish, the snack that smile back, until you bite their heads off, the snacks that smile back, GOLDFISH!!!
Camera Director: Now back to our show!
Snape: Now it's the obstacle course! You will have two. errr, I mean 22 minutes to go through these: tires and monkey bars!
Draco: ·.· Umm. Isn't it normally.
Snape: Shhhhhh!!! Draco: Ohhh. ^-^
Ginny: Hey! That's not.
Snape: SECURITY!!!
Ginny: **looks around** They're still busy with Harry! ^-^
Snape: FURBINUNI!!!
Ginny: **turns into a furby** Cock-a-doodle-do!!!
Snape: *.* Errr. So, anyhow, you will have 22 minutes to go through those two obstacles! Are you ready?!?!
Draco: Yeah!!!
Snape: GOOO!!!
Draco: **jumps through two tires (4 seconds) and swings across 3 monkey bars (7 seconds)**
Snape: He made it! Not only is he brilliant, but he's athletic too!!!
Draco: I don't have a girlfriend yet. ^.^
Snape: *.* Ermm. So, next are the three completely and totally insane questions!!!
Draco: All right!!!
Snape: Number one: If today is Monday and yesterday was Tuesday, what is 5+7?
Draco: Errrrmmm. 12?
Snape: CORRECT!! Isn't he amazing?
Draco: *.* ^_^
Snape: Number two!!! What is the amount of crows in a tree that is 400 by 300 feet wide and 500 by 200 feet tall?
Draco: Errrrrrrrr. 5,678?
Snape: Ermmm. **looks at card where the answer is 3 then grabs a pen and scribbles that out then puts 5,678** YES!!! You got it!!!
Draco: Yay!!!!
Snape: Only one more!!! Can he do it? CAN HE DO IT???
Draco: Yes.
Snape: That was a retorical question. But anyhow, the last question is. If 5+5 equals 0, then what does 3+4-6/5 equal?
Draco: Ermmm. Wat, that's not so hard! **does math in head** 25!!!!!
Snape: CCCCCCCOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEECCCCCCTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! HE'S AMAZING!!! He's won 1,000 dollars, which he might want to share with a favorite Professor who helped him to win the money. ^-^
Draco: Yay! 1,000 dollars! Wait. Why are we saying dollars? I mean GALLEONS!!!
Snape: Oh yeah, galleons of course! Well, we'll see you next time!
A/N: Ahhh, Furbies. Ahhhhh, Goldfish. :D How did you like it? If you wanna tell me, click on the little review button. it won't bite!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own computer faces. I do not own furbies. I do not own Goldfish. I DO own this idea.
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far!
Snape: Dun-dun-dun. Welcome to The Snape Show, the really great Snape Show, The snack that smiles back, Goldfish! Errr. I mean, Dun-dun-dun. Welcome to The Snape Show, the really great Snape Show, Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!!! Sorry 'bout that!
Audience:**sighs** He needs a better theme song.
Snape: :-P Today's contestant is. DRACO MALFOY!!!!! **cheers**
Draco: Thank you, thank you very much!!!
Audience: Yay.
Draco: -.-;;
Snape: In case you forgot, or this is your first time watching this show, which would be really stupid because this is the greatest show in the world, and this is turning into one heck of a run-on sentence, here are the rules!!!!! You will first be asked three hard questions to see if you are smart, then you will go through an obstacle course, and finally you will be asked three completely and totally insane questions! Got it?
Draco: Yep!!!!
Snape: Okay then, let's get started.
Camera Director: After a short message from our sponsors!
Commercial Person: Have you ever wondered exactly what X stood for? Were you tormented in school with hopelessly pointless math problems? Relax! There's still hope! **switches to picture of long, complicated math problem** Do you wish you had a better job, but can't do the math to get one? Never fear! SUPRA X® is here! With one simple spray, all your problems will be solved! **shows that the answer is X=4** Buy SUPRA X® today!
Camera Director: Thank you for that message! Now back to our show!
Snape: Now, first you have to answer three hard questions. Are you ready?! Draco: Yeah!
Snape: Good kid. Now, the first one is what can defeat a basilisk?
Draco: Hmmm. A rooster's call?
Snape: That's correct! You're brilliant, just brilliant!!! Now, it's the second question! Name one of the three Unforgivable Curses.
Draco: Avada Kedavra!!!
Snape: Amazing! Isn't he a genius???
Draco: ^-^ Autographs in the lobby!
Snape: o.O. Erm. Okay. So, you third question is name one of the other two Unforgivable Curses!!!
Draco: The Cruciatus Curse!!!
Snape: AMAZING!!! JUST AMAZING!!! Harry Potter would never have gotten those right.
Harry: Hey! HEY!!!!
Snape: SECURITY!!!
Harry: What? Wait! No! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Snape: Bu-bye.
Harry: EEEYYYYAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Camera Director: We'll be back after a short message from our sponsors.
Commercial Person: Goldfish, the snack that smile back, until you bite their heads off, the snacks that smile back, GOLDFISH!!!
Camera Director: Now back to our show!
Snape: Now it's the obstacle course! You will have two. errr, I mean 22 minutes to go through these: tires and monkey bars!
Draco: ·.· Umm. Isn't it normally.
Snape: Shhhhhh!!! Draco: Ohhh. ^-^
Ginny: Hey! That's not.
Snape: SECURITY!!!
Ginny: **looks around** They're still busy with Harry! ^-^
Snape: FURBINUNI!!!
Ginny: **turns into a furby** Cock-a-doodle-do!!!
Snape: *.* Errr. So, anyhow, you will have 22 minutes to go through those two obstacles! Are you ready?!?!
Draco: Yeah!!!
Snape: GOOO!!!
Draco: **jumps through two tires (4 seconds) and swings across 3 monkey bars (7 seconds)**
Snape: He made it! Not only is he brilliant, but he's athletic too!!!
Draco: I don't have a girlfriend yet. ^.^
Snape: *.* Ermm. So, next are the three completely and totally insane questions!!!
Draco: All right!!!
Snape: Number one: If today is Monday and yesterday was Tuesday, what is 5+7?
Draco: Errrrmmm. 12?
Snape: CORRECT!! Isn't he amazing?
Draco: *.* ^_^
Snape: Number two!!! What is the amount of crows in a tree that is 400 by 300 feet wide and 500 by 200 feet tall?
Draco: Errrrrrrrr. 5,678?
Snape: Ermmm. **looks at card where the answer is 3 then grabs a pen and scribbles that out then puts 5,678** YES!!! You got it!!!
Draco: Yay!!!!
Snape: Only one more!!! Can he do it? CAN HE DO IT???
Draco: Yes.
Snape: That was a retorical question. But anyhow, the last question is. If 5+5 equals 0, then what does 3+4-6/5 equal?
Draco: Ermmm. Wat, that's not so hard! **does math in head** 25!!!!!
Snape: CCCCCCCOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEECCCCCCTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! HE'S AMAZING!!! He's won 1,000 dollars, which he might want to share with a favorite Professor who helped him to win the money. ^-^
Draco: Yay! 1,000 dollars! Wait. Why are we saying dollars? I mean GALLEONS!!!
Snape: Oh yeah, galleons of course! Well, we'll see you next time!
A/N: Ahhh, Furbies. Ahhhhh, Goldfish. :D How did you like it? If you wanna tell me, click on the little review button. it won't bite!!!
