Reviews: Lightbulby29 – Nope, don't like Leia at
all. Yes, even though she's Luke's sister. And I have a crush on Luke, so I
could never, ever hate him. I love him too much.
Adam – Thanks! It's coming along!
Lightbulby29 – You're reviewing the story of a Trekkie, you know
that? ^^
nileqt87 – I have nothing against Han at all. It's Leia I hate,
and I don't find Luke annoying at all. Probably because I'm biased. I don't
think I said anything about their fans. *shrug*
Disclaimers: Do you really think I'd be writing this thing
if I owned what and who's in it? *shakes head* I'd be having it filmed. I also
probably wouldn't be taking the questions and stuff from StarWarsKids.com. And
the one who gets voted off did so because I assigned numbers to each character
and had someone pick a number. He was chosen. Sorry.
(Lisa and C3PO emerge onto the set and take their places.)
AL: Welcome back to… "The Weakest Link"!
(Cue cheers and applause.)
AL: Thank you. I'm sorry to say that Han was voted off in our last round. Contrary to popular belief, I have nothing against the nerf herder, really. Anyway, it's time to move on to Round Three!
(Applause.)
AL: Round Three is the "True or False?" round. I will state a question, and you, my dear contestants, have to say whether you think it's true or false. Again, we'll start with my number one Jedi –
Ben: (shouting from the audience) Excuse me?!
AL: (groans) My number one blue-eyed Jedi… (mutters) good grief… (full voice) Luke. (turns Ben-ward) Pipe it down or I'll kick you off "Family Feud". (turns back to contestants) You ready?
(The contestants all nod.)
AL: Charlie, you ready?
Charlie: You bet!
AL: Then let's play… "The Weakest Link"!
(Dramatic music plays.)
AL: Charlie, stand by on the timer. Let's begin. Luke, "R2-D2 projected a message to Jabba from Princess Leia".
Luke: False! That was me!
AL: Correct! Chewie, "The spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi told Luke that he had a twin sister".
Chewie: (after thinking a moment) Raahhr.
C3PO: "False".
AL: Wrong! That is, indeed, true. Lando, "Han Solo was piloting the Millennium Falcon when it blasted the second Death Star".
Lando: False! That was me!
AL: Correct! Yoda, "The Rebel Alliance headquarters was located in their star cruiser, Home One".
Yoda: True, that is.
AL: Correct! Obi-Wan, "Luke, Han, Chewbacca and Leia traveled to Endor in a stolen Imperial shuttle".
Obi-Wan: That's true.
AL: Correct! Wedge, "It is a period of civil war". Well, was a period of civil war.
Wedge: True?
AL: Correct! Luke, "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden planet – "
Luke: False! It was a hidden base.
AL: Correct! Chewie, "During the battle, Imperial spies managed to steal – "
Chewie: Raahhr! Roarrr arrh rahhhrrrrarroooooorrrr.
C3PO: "False. They were Rebel spies".
AL: Correct! Lando, "…the Death Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy and entire planet".
Lando: True!
AL: Correct! Yoda, "…Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans…"
Yoda: True, that is.
AL: Correct! Obi-Wan, "Princess Leia Organa pretends to be on a diplomatic mission in order to aid the Alliance".
Obi-Wan: True.
AL: Correct! Wedge, "The cockpit on Luke's landspeeder does not have a full cover".
Wedge: True!
AL: Correct! Baby, "Han Solo is frozen in carbonite". Er, well, was frozen.
Luke: True!
AL: Correct! (laughs a little) Chewie, "Chewbacca is a Wookiee".
Chewie: (laughs) Rarrhhh.
C3PO: "True". Oh, I do hope so…
AL: (laughing) Correct. Who put these things in order, anyway?
(Again, the voice of the author rains down on the set.)
RL: I did. Move along.
AL: (glares briefly to the ceiling, then resumes) Lando, "Chewbacca has blue eyes".
Lando: (tries to look, but the Wookiee turns his head so he can't see) Traitor. Um, well, considering I looked into them when he was strangling me…true?
AL: Correct! Yoda, "Jabba the Hutt ate Salacious Crumb".
Yoda: False, that is.
AL: Correct. Who'd want to eat that annoying little monkey-lizard? Anyway, Obi-Wan, "C3PO is not the first functional droid that Anakin built".
C3PO: Oh! Anakin built me?
Obi-Wan: False.
AL: Correct.
C3PO: Oh, my circuits!
Luke: My father built Threepio?
AL: (sighs) Yes, dear, he did. But he doesn't remember it, so don't trouble yourself over it, love. Wedge, "Han Solo won the Millennium Falcon in a game of Sabacc".
Wedge: That's true.
AL: Correct!
Charlie: (presses button)
(End-of-Round music plays.)
AL: End of round three! Voting time! It's time to vote for who you think is the weakest link!
(The contestants begin their vote.)
Charlie: Everyone except Chewbacca is the strongest links. Will the votes follow the statistics?
AL: Voting over. It's time to see who you think is the weakest link.
(Dramatic music plays.)
Luke: Wedge.
Chewie: Rooarrhharr.
C3PO: "Yoda". Oh, dear!
Lando: Chewie.
Yoda: Voted off Calrissian, I have.
Obi-Wan: Chewie.
Wedge: Chewie.
(Dramatic music plays.)
AL: Honey, why Wedge?
Luke: He survived and Biggs didn't.
Wedge: Huh? Oh. Well, that's not my fault.
AL: That's true, Luke.
(Luke shrugs.)
AL: Chewie, why Yoda?
Chewie: Rahhroorar oarrarroooooorrr haarrrarrr rarrroarroo.
C3PO: "Because he talks funny"? Oh, my! Chewbacca, really!
Chewie: Raahhhhhhrrrrr!
C3PO: No, I will not be quiet, Chewbacca! You do not go offending powerful Jedi Masters!
Yoda: True, this is.
AL: All right, all right. Enough. Lando, why Chewie?
Lando: He got a question wrong. And that droid is becoming annoying.
(Obi-Wan and Wedge agree.)
C3PO: (indignant) Well! See if I ever help you all out again!
AL: Shut it. Yoda, why Lando?
Yoda: A good reason, I have not. Told me, instinct did.
Lando: (mutters) Yeah, I bet.
AL: Relax. (sighs) Well, Chewie. I'm sorry to say that, with three votes, you are the weakest link! Goodbye!
Chewie: (growls and drags C3PO off the stage)
AL: (calling after) Don't break him, Chewie. I need him for the other show.
(Chewie just grunts in reply.)
(In a bad camera cut, we go backstage where Chewie has already given his thoughts. We catch up with C3PO's translation.)
C3PO: Oh, dear. "How was I supposed to know what happened when I wasn't even there? But at least I won enough money to treat myself to dinner." Chewbacca! The station is providing an all-you-can-eat buffet! How could you possibly be hungry after that?!
(Chewie growls and we cut back to the set.)
AL: Three people down. Who will go next? Find out, when we begin round four!
(She runs off the set.)
John: She's going to wear a rut into the studio floor if she keeps that up.
Luke: I'll use my winnings to pay for it.
End part four.
