Disclaimer: Reinstating that Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and "The Weakest Link" belongs to NBC. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and read this story. Extra special thanks to Charlie for being you. Thank you, George, for creating this universe and thank you NBC for playing "The Weakest Link". The questions came from TheForce.net.
(Returning once more to the show.)
AL: Welcome to the final round of… "The Weakest Link"!
(Cheers and applause.)
AL: In this final round, I'll ask both of you five questions. Whoever gets the most right will win the big money. In case of a tie…well, we'll jump off that bridge when we come to it. Are you ready?
(Everyone gives their affirmative.)
AL: Charlie?
Charlie: Ready, willing, and able!
AL: The eighth and final round is a general trivia round. Let's begin.
(Dramatic music plays.)
AL: Luke, what was the time interval between the first Death Star battle and the second?
Luke: Four years, six months.
AL: That is the correct answer. Wedge, name the four types of Rebel starfighters.
Wedge: A-Wing, B-Wing, X-Wing, and Y-Wing.
AL: That is the correct answer. Luke, name four types of Imperial TIEs.
Luke: Advanced, Interceptor, Bomber, and Fighter.
AL: That is the correct answer. Wedge, name the five specialized stormtrooper types.
Wedge: Oh, er…scout, snow…(sighs and thinks hard) I don't know.
AL: Incorrect. The correct answer is Standard, Sandtrooper, Snowtrooper, Scout, Royal Guard. Luke, good Jedi don't die. What do they do instead?
Luke: They fade away.
AL: That is the correct answer. Wedge, what is the Millennium Falcon armed with?
Wedge: Uh…(thinks really hard) Oh, darn. I don't know.
AL: Incorrect. The correct answer is 2 quad laser cannons, 2 concussion missile tubes with 8 missiles, and a ventral automatic blaster cannon. Luke, a Stormtrooper's armor has "energy sinks" that help absorb blast energy that hits the armor. Where are the energy sinks located?
Luke: Since I spent some time in stormtrooper armor, I should know this, shouldn't I? (thinks) The blocks that hang from the belt on the hips?
AL: That is the correct answer. Wedge, name your various roles from the battle with the first Death Star to the battle with the last Death Star.
Wedge: (glad to have an easy question for once) Red Two, Rogue Three, and Red Leader.
AL: That is the correct answer. Luke, what instrument does Max Rebo play?
Luke: Oh! Uh, hm…er…(thinks hard) uhhh…(sighs) I'm sorry, Lisa. I don't know.
AL: That's okay, love. I didn't know, either. The correct answer is a red ball organ. Wedge, if you get this question right…well, Luke still wins.
Wedge: Fine by me.
AL: Very well. Wedge, name Lando's copilot in the battle with the second Death Star.
Wedge: Nien Nunb.
AL: That is the correct answer.
Charlie: (presses timer button)
(End-of-Round music plays.)
AL: That's the end of the final round. The final tally for the final five questions is…Luke with four correct answers and one wrong, and Wedge with three correct answers and two wrong. Luke's the winner!
Audience: (in unison) Naturally!
AL: Heh. Well, Wedge, thank you for playing.
Wedge: Thanks for having me.
AL: You are the weakest link! Mee jewz ku. That means "goodbye" in Huttese.
(Wedge walks off the set.)
(Backstage:)
Wedge: Well, everyone knew Luke was going to win. I participated because I like challenges, and this was a big challenge with the questions I didn't know the answers to.
(Back on the set, Lisa and Luke are standing next to one another, Luke with his arms around her shoulders and Lisa with her arm around his waist.)
AL: Thank you, everyone, for tuning in to my Star Wars edition of "The Weakest Link"! Thank you, Charlie, for announcing. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a date.
(Theme music plays and credits roll.)
The end.
